Author's Note: I know it's been a LONG time since this story was updated, but I hope, if there are any readers left, that they'll pick up right here. I will do my best to finish this story in the next few months-so please enjoy, if there's anyone still there!

Isabel was the first to wake the following morning. Glancing at the bedside clock she groaned. It was 7:30 in the morning; far too early to be up in Las Vegas, or anywhere really. Rolling onto her back, she encountered a hard lump.

Kyle.

Rolling the other direction, Isabel slowly rose from the bed and watched as Kyle continued to sleep. The smell of stale alcohol lingered in the room and Isabel retreated to the bathroom for another shower.

The suite was silent and still. The two other rooms all had closed doors and Isabel wondered what the others had been up to, though she could easily guess. Opening the door to the suite, Isabel was elated to find their clothes, freshly laundered and wrapped in plastic, with a paper bag on top.

Tearing into the bag, Isabel searched until she found Jesse's picture, and then she burst into silent tears, the memory of Kyle's declaration echoing in Isabel's confused mind.

She sat in the main room for almost an hour. The tears started, than slowly faded as Isabel's emotional well ran dry. She tried to get into Jesse's mind but she couldn't do it. Either he was resisting or she was just too tired. She hoped for the latter.

A door clicked open behind her and Isabel breathed deep. Her solitude was over.

"Good morning Iz," Max's voice sounded from behind.

"Is it," she replied flatly, not turning around, glancing at the clock on the hotel wall; 9:46.

She heard Max move across the plush hotel carpet, and out of the corner of her eye saw him sit in the armchair just to the right of her.

"Iz, I know this is hard-," Max started but Isabel, tired of her brother's calm voice of reason had had enough.

"Stop it Max," she spoke through clenched teeth.

"Isabel, we all left something behind," Max responded softly.

"Really? You left something behind. Tell me, was it your husband? The love of your life? Or how about the only family you ever had?" Isabel turned to her brother and felt the uncharacteristic emotion of self-pity well up, filling the void of her soul. She hated herself for it.

"No, but I left behind a son," Max spoke almost in a whisper and immediately Isabel felt terrible. How could she have forgotten…

"Max-," she started, but didn't know what to say. She knew how hard it had been for Max to give up Zan. She was there, she had seen it.

"Isabel, this is hard on all of us. Liz and Maria left behind family, I know what you sacrificed, and I know what Kyle sacrificed. But if we want to survive we need to stay strong. Together."

Isabel choked back her anger and fought the sting of tears. She couldn't win; no matter what she felt, or did, or said, it was always wrong and she was made to feel selfish for it. It was just so unfair. All she had ever wanted in the world was to be normal. For a brief moment in time she had been, but now that was gone. She felt like she'd never feel normal again.

"I'm just so tired. Do you understand? I'm tired of all of this," Isabel whispered as she waved her hands towards the rooms where the others were still sleeping, and leaned over and curled up on the sofa, Jesse's picture in the palm of her hand.

"I know," Max replied.

Isabel felt a tear escape her eye. She wasn't sure what to think anymore. She would never leave Max and Michael, but the more she watched Michael and Maria, and Max and Liz, the worse the ache in her own heart for Jesse.

Somewhere in the suite a door slammed and voices spoke.

"Sounds like the crew is stirring," Isabel stated, rejected, her voice thick but the tears retreating once again, Isabel begrudgingly saving them up for another day.

"Yeah, Liz and I got back about 2:30am, I'm not sure when Michael and Maria got in. Can you get Kyle?"

Max stood and looked at Isabel. Dropping her feet to the floor Isabel nodded slowly and sighing heavily she rose. She secretly wondered what Kyle remembered from the night before.

"Sure, whatever," she answered, pocketing Jesse in the robe and shuffling across the thick carpet towards the closed doors behind which Kyle presumably still slept.

She felt Max's eyes on her as she approached the room that she had been, by default, forced to share with Kyle. It made her feel worse.

Isabel tossed Kyle's and her own clean clothes onto the bed and stared at Kyle, stretched across the King size bed, his mouth wide open and a line of drool slowly creeping from one corner of his mouth. Sometime in the night he had stripped his shirt off and Isabel noticed a slight scar on his chest, where he had been shot and subsequently healed by Max.

"Kyle," Isabel spoke loudly, startling herself. Kyle slept on, oblivious.

"Kyle!" Isabel shook the bed violently with her foot. Kyle simply stirred, then rolled on his side, revealing what Isabel had feared, he had not only shed his shirt, but all his clothes; he was sleeping naked.

Isabel closed her eyes and breathed deep. Rounding the bed, Isabel crouched on the floor next to where Kyle now hung over the edge of the bed.

"Kyle, get your lazy ass up!" Isabel growled as she reached out and pinched Kyle's bare shoulder as hard as she dared.

"Hmmm?" Kyle's eyes partially opened and he smiled almost drunkenly at Isabel.

"Morning," Kyle slurred, his voice thick and his breath dank with the stench of old alcohol.

"Yeah. Listen, you need to get up-we're heading out," Isabel started to stand but Kyle grabbed her wrist.

"We only have each other, you know," Kyle was staring intently at Isabel and despite the bad morning breath and the drool mark Isabel felt her breath catch in her chest. Then, without warning Kyle lurched forward and kissed Isabel.

It was deep. It was passionate. It was full of longing on both sides.

Isabel couldn't stop herself from responding, her heart racing as she subconsciously felt her arms reach up and cradle Kyle's face. She missed Jesse so bad that this contact, this physical act of intimacy that she'd been missing was like water after days in a desert without.

Kyle was the first to pull back, a horrified look in his eye. Isabel simply stared back at him, unsure of what she was feeling. She wanted more, but was it because she wanted contact and intimacy with a man, or was she feeling something for Kyle?

"Oh, God," Kyle's eyes wide eyes widened even more and he shot out of bed, screeching as he realized he was naked. He grabbed the sheet off the bed and wrapping it around himself he dashed into the adjoining bathroom.

Isabel sat on the floor next to the bed for some time, trying to sort out her own feelings but she was getting nowhere. She couldn't sort it out-her mind was a minefield of conflicting feelings. Finally she rose, and dressing quickly she left the room, sending Max in after Kyle when he didn't emerge after nearly 30 minutes.

Kyle avoided Isabel the rest of the morning. He rode in the front of the van with Max, and wouldn't come near Isabel. No one else noticed, at least not that Isabel could tell. They were too distracted by the last leg of the trip into California.

Isabel took the morning to try and sort out her own feelings. She was convinced she'd responded to Kyle only because she was lonely and missing Jesse. Not to mention, being surrounded by two sets of lovers makes for an uncomfortable situation for the other two. However, what scared Isabel the most was the fear that she was tricking herself into thinking this was true. She was most afraid of what it would mean if she did have feelings for Kyle…

Isabel tried again to get into Jesse's head but all she could see was a black curtain. It frightened her. Was she losing him?

She was walking down a long hallway. On either side were large television screens on which replayed over and over the kiss she'd shared with Kyle. Despite her guilt, Isabel felt herself mesmerized by these images, aroused. She stared at them as she walked, the hall endless it seemed.

Finally she came to a door, it was black, and had another TV screen mounted on it. On this screen Isabel watched Jesse, dressed in a tuxedo, dancing with a woman in a white dress.

It was her wedding!

Isabel smiled as she watched the slow dance, watching she and Jesse dancing as they had on their wedding day. Her head resting on Jesse's shoulder; now they were turning, turning…

Isabel felt her throat tighten. That wasn't her.

Jesse was dancing with another woman; another woman, not Isabel, in a wedding dress.

Isabel started pounding on the door, yelling, questioning, accusing.

Jesse and the dark haired woman he was dancing with both turned towards the door and waved grinning, as if to a camera.

"NO!"

"NO!!!"

Isabel sat up with a start, her five traveling companions were all turned towards her, concern on their faces.

"Isabel, you were dreaming," Liz immediately said as she crawled through the van to sit next to Isabel.

"Max, stop the van," Isabel yelled, avoiding Kyle's nervous and guilty stare from the front seat.

Three minutes later the van was stopped at a run down gas station on the edge of Oceanside, CA. Isabel immediately bolted from the vehicle ignoring the calls of her friends and her brother. She ran, and ran, and ran.

She ran until she couldn't breathe. She ran until the stitch in her side was sending sharp stabs up and down her whole body. She ran until sweat was dripping down her forehead. She ignored the honking cars and the yells. All she wanted was to feel the emotion, the sorrow, the loneliness, escape her and for the first time, it was. She didn't want to stop running because she knew as soon as she did those things would come back, reinvade. Isabel felt herself losing steam and slowly she stopped her run and assumed a steady walk. She had no idea where she was, her trip was a blur. She wasn't worried though. She knew Max would find her. Max always found her.

At the end of the block was a small park. Isabel slowly walked towards the lone bench situated under a giant oak tree. The stitch in her side was reducing itself to an annoying dull throb and her breath slowly steadied; a thick blanket of mucous coated her throat, so Isabel coughed and almost laughed at her circumstances.

The day was peaceful and quiet. There was not another soul in the park. Isabel slowly lowered herself to the single bench, immediately feeling the effects of her little run-fresh blisters on her heels.

"Great," she mumbled as she removed her shoes and fingered the bright red spots and the forming blisters.

A slight breeze moved through the leaves and cooled Isabel, drying the sweat on her cheeks and forehead. Dropping her shoes to the ground, Isabel rested her bare feet in the cool grass and leaned her head back against the tree. She sat like that for at least ten minutes, not letting herself think. She knew she was losing her mind and she had to make a decision, sooner rather than later. Somehow she had to get in touch with Jesse. There was no way around it. She couldn't keep putting herself through this torture.

By the time Max found her, Isabel had her plan formulated, and she would take action that very night.

Isabel didn't speak at first as they slowly started walking back to where the van was parked. Max had healed Isabel's blisters and now they were on their way back.

"Isabel, talk to me," Max finally said as they left the comforts of the small park behind. "I don't know how to help you. None of us do. I don't want to be harsh, but you've got to figure out whatever you're going through because as a group I don't know if we can handle any more outbursts."

Isabel walked on next to Max in silence, she wanted to reassure her brother but knew if she spoke a word of her plan, he'd go ballistic.

"I know," she finally said.

She looked over at her brother and offered her most convincing smile. "I know," she repeated.

Max nodded and threw his arm around her.

"I want you to be happy. If I could make all this crap go away so you could be with Jesse I would. But I can't, and that makes me sadder than you'll ever know."

"Thanks, Max."

The brother and sister walked on in silence for awhile.

"We're all here for you, Iz," Max added as they finally came upon the van. "Me, Liz, Maria, Kyle, even Michael."

Isabel smiled, but felt the sting of nervousness at the mention of Kyle's name. He must not have mentioned that morning's kiss to anyone. Conflicting emotions clouded Isabel's judgment.

Everyone was gathered around the van watching as Max and Isabel approached.

"You okay?" Liz asked as they got nearer.

Isabel just nodded.

"We ready?" Max asked.

"Filled up and ready to go," Michael said, watching Isabel.

"I'm fine!" Isabel repeated for his benefit, offering what she hoped was her most convincing smile.

"Right," Michael grunted, looking at Max. Isabel thought she saw something between them, but as soon as it was there is was gone.

"Let's go then," Max said as they loaded into the van to finish the trip into Los Angeles.

Kyle didn't stay in the front seat the rest of the trip, but he still kept his distance, refusing to make eye contact. Soon Isabel felt guilty for her innocent part of the kiss and that started to make her angry.

"What's Meg's address again?" Michael asked as he maneuvered the five lanes of rush hour traffic of the I-15.

"5346 Oceala Dr Apt F3," Isabel repeated for the fifth time. She worried what Meg's reaction would be when the six of them showed up at the door of her apartment, a newlywed's apartment no less. She had offered, but now Isabel wondered if she was just being polite.

"Exit Hacienda Heights," Isabel repeated for the second time in five minutes, "it should be coming up on your right."

Isabel heard Michael grumble something about women and directions but chose to ignore it. She saw Maria start to say something so she put her arm out and shook her head. Maria understood, but from the looks of it she was planning to say something to Michael later.

"Finally!" He yelled, startling everyone in the van as he swerved mightily, narrowly missing the back end of a Black BMW.

Ten minutes later they were parked in front of a stuccoed, slate gray four-story building with tall, narrow windows.

"Reminds me of jail," Kyle spoke, his first real communication of the day.

Isabel looked at him and smiled and for a moment, things were okay with them again. But just as quickly, Kyle looked away and retreated back into himself, not speaking another word the rest of the night.

"Well, lead the way," Michael pushed Isabel forward to the door buzzer.

Shooting a glare backwards, Isabel simultaneously buzzed apartment F3, marked HINTON. There was a moment of feedback then a small female voice.

"Who's there?"

"It's Isabel."

"Isabel?"

"Isabel, uh, from Roswell?"

Silence.

"Izzy??? Oh My God!! Wait right there!"

Maria and Liz giggled nervously while Michael scowled. Isabel smiled nervously at her brother as they waited outside the old wrought-iron gate.

Moments later Meg came dashing outside, her face beaming with unfettered excitement.

"Ohmygod! I can't believe you're really here! I'm so excited!" Meg exclaimed in a steady stream as she struggled with an ancient lock that looked to be mostly rusted shut.

"Do you need some help with that?" Max offered but received no answer as Meg got the gate open at that same moment.

"Come in, come in! Oh gosh! I'm so excited! How long are you here? Are you wanting to do the touristy stuff, like Disneyland? You know it's only 17 miles to Disney from here? Oh my God, Jesse will be so happy you are here! He got a job you know, on a soap opera, a recurring role…!"

"Shoot me now," Michael muttered eliciting another sharp look from Isabel as they followed the chattering Meg up three flights of stairs to her small apartment.

Jesse arrived home to find the six of them, and Meg, crammed into the tiny living room, drinking coffee from Styrofoam cups. He was a good sport and though they offered the group the floor to sleep on, Max thought it better that they get a hotel. More room was his reason.

Isabel, afraid Max was going to force her to share a room with Kyle again, was surprised when he only got two rooms at the motel down the road from Meg's; one for the guys and one for the girls. Isabel was proud of her brother, whether he instinctively knew it or not, he had saved her a more awkward night. She knew she needed to talk to Kyle, but first she needed to figure out her relationship with Jesse. That was her priority, so until then, she would hold Kyle at arm's length, that is if he ever stopped pushing her away.

But that wouldn't matter for awhile. Isabel was leaving the group that night, and was going to once and for all resolve her relationship with Jesse-one way or another.