Isabel found it amazingly easy to sneak away from Maria and Liz. They were both heavy sleepers and when she was sure they were asleep, Isabel packed and was out the door with plenty of time to catch the Greyhound bus at 1:35am. Isabel had done a little of her own research while at Meg's that evening, and no one had been the wiser, or so she'd hoped.
Isabel met the cab she'd arranged and was at the bus station ten minutes before her departure; first to Denver, then to St. Louis, finally to Boston. It would be a long trip and she hoped traveling by bus would keep her out of sight of the new Special Unit…but if she was caught, she would die before she'd give up her brother and the other's.
The bus to Denver had twelve passengers, two older men with full white beards, a young woman with three young children in tow, and a smattering of what appeared to be young single men and women in miscellaneous state's of being. Some gothic, some preppy, and the spectrum in between covered too. Isabel was comforted that if anyone asked, she wouldn't be remembered.
She was in front of the large black door again; watching Jesse's life with the other woman on the television screen still mounted there.
Jesse was chasing the woman on a beach and they were laughing. They were all alone and Isabel feared what she'd see when he caught her.
"You don't have to be alone,"
Isabel heard a voice behind her and turning she saw Kyle on the TV screens that still lined the hallway. He was standing in front of a blue background. Suddenly the image of them kissing started playing behind him.
"You know you wanted it,"
Isabel jolted awake, her heart racing and her palms clammy.
They were somewhere in Colorado, still driving through the mountains, but closer to Denver then not. Isabel rubbed her neck, stiff from sleeping with her head against the chilled window of the bus.
"Bad dreams?"
Isabel looked across the aisle of the bus, on of the old men was staring at her, his brow furrowed.
"You could say that," Isabel responded in a tone the she hoped indicated she wasn't up for making new friends. She ran her hands through her hair, feeling the buildup of oils and grime from travel.
"The one good thing about bad dreams is you can always wake up from 'em."
Isabel smiled and nodded at the obviousness of the statement. If only he knew...
The old guy nodded definitively, as if to say 'I think you're okay now', then turned to his friend and spoke in a hushed tone.
Isabel sighed deeply, afraid she wouldn't be able to stand the long bus ride from St. Louis to Boston; it had already been 12 hours since she'd left Max and the others; they'd certainly be frantic for her. A wave of guilt washed over, but Isabel pushed it aside. She'd left a note, and they'd have to accept that. She had to take care of herself or she'd be no help to them.
Two hours later the bus rolled into Denver, Colorado. Isabel greeted the cool, thin air with an upturned face. The sky was a deep blue and not a cloud was visible. Isabel remembered the time her parents had brought her and Max to Denver for the National Western Stock Show. It was so cold those few days they had been here in the middle of January.
Isabel slowly walked into the bus station, taking in the sights of the strangers littering the benches, sleeping, wandering, sitting; some of them more wretched than others. Isabel moved a little quicker towards the ticket window where she validated the second part of her trip to St. Louis. The bus for Missouri left in 45 minutes so Isabel headed towards the pay phones, intending to leave a message for Max with Meg.
Isabel deposited the requisite $1.50 and dialed the long-distance number of her old high school friend.
"Hello?"
"Meg?"
"Isabel! Your brother has been going…hey!"
There was a rustling sound.
"Isabel! Where the hell are you!" Max was on the line and he was madder than Isabel hoped, though she wasn't surprised, just hopeful that things would work out okay.
"Max, I have to get closure; with Jesse," Isabel tried to plead with her tone but feared her brother was beyond reason.
"Do you have any idea what you are doing?" Max asked loudly, on the verge of yelling.
"I'm being careful," Isabel answered the unasked question.
"Isabel, this is your life; this is our lives! Please be careful! Remember I know what happens if you get caught!"
Max sighed deeply and Isabel felt a giant pit tumble in her stomach and for a moment she thought she might be sick right there in the phone booth. They sat in silence for a moment before Max spoke again.
"I want you get what you need from this but God, Iz, you're being careless and thoughtless and I'm worried that…what?" Max paused and Isabel heard some voices talking in the background.
"Uh, okay; Iz, Kyle wanted me to say that you didn't have to worry about anything anymore? Whatever that means."
Isabel could envision her brother, the phone to his ear, his brow furrowed in concern and confusion, shrugging at the somewhat cryptic message.
"Thank Kyle for me, Max. But this is about me and what I need. I have to resolve things with Jesse, one way or another. Look, my time's almost up and I have to go pretty quick," (a lie), "I'll call you again when I can. I'm sorry I left like I did Max, but I knew you wouldn't want me to go and I just couldn't fight with you about this," Isabel felt tears threatening as she bit her lip to hold them back.
"Iz…I guess I understand. I probably would do the same thing if our positions were reversed," Max said, much of the fire gone but an underlying sadness still there.
Isabel wanted to reassure her brother but at that moment she could think of nothing to say that might help. She knew he was worried, and she knew what could happen if she was caught in Boston. She had visited Max's mind when he'd been caught…she could vividly remember the things she saw and felt them do to him…
"Max, I love you-be careful and I'll see you soon," Isabel whispered, "tell everyone I love them, 'bye."
Isabel hung up before Max could respond, and she spent the time before her bus left sitting in the phone booth crying silently over her confusion.
It was about 3am when the Greyhound rolled into St. Louis. Thirty minutes behind schedule, which left only ten minutes for Isabel to catch her last connecting bus to Boston. This time the bus was almost full and Isabel found herself sitting next to a young Hispanic woman with a baby that was obviously sick-the poor little girl cried the entire trip from Missouri to Massachusetts. By the time Isabel disembarked from the bus she had a splitting headache and was feeling the wear of traveling by bus across the country. She did not look forward to the trip back and hoped, however unrealistically, that maybe she could fly back. Surely they weren't really looking for her.
Hailing a taxi cab, Isabel directed the driver to take her to the Hampshire Hotel, it was three blocks from Jesse's apartment and she hoped a safe enough place to do some reconnaissance before she approached her husband.
Once at the hotel, Isabel showered, standing under the water until the hot ran cold, then crawled into the bed and slept for almost twelve hours, waking up in time for an early dinner and what felt to her like the first normal thing she'd done, and the first time in a long time that things were happening on her timeline. No rushing because of Max, or Liz, or Michael; no rushing because the Special Unit might be right behind her; no rushing because James might be just around the corner. Most importantly, no pressure to be Kyle's friend and confident…
Isabel ordered room service, extra Tabasco sauce, and watched some TV, catching up on the current pop culture she'd been missing since leaving Roswell, and the recent news that she was too distracted to really care about.
Around 8pm, Isabel felt weary and retired to bed. In the morning she would begin seeking out Jesse, and figuring out a way to arrange to see him.
The courtesy call came at 4:45am and Isabel was awake immediately. By 5am she was out the door and walking the early morning streets of Boston. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she wore an oversized black beret on her head. On her face was a giant pair of sunglasses that hid not only her eyes but half her face. She felt like a fool, but she didn't want to be recognized so it was necessary.
Around 5:15am she stopped outside the Brownstone where Jesse lived; he rented the 3rd floor apartment. Isabel sat next to the mailbox that was just a few doors down and across the street from Jesse's building. She stared; there was one light glowing on the third floor and Isabel ached to be up there, with Jesse, making him coffee and breakfast and watching the morning news while just being together. Tears silently began to fall as Isabel waited.
Up and down the street there was little movement, the street hadn't come to life yet. No cars were coming and going, and two women in coordinated jogging suits were the only other people Isabel saw. Folding and unfolding the newspaper she'd bought on the way over, Isabel nervously stared around her as the street started to come to life. Around 6:30 men and women in business suits started descending their steps and making their way towards their different destinations.
Watching Jesse's building, Isabel tried not to look suspicious or obvious. Finally, at 6:45am, the door opened. Catching her breath Isabel waited, but was disappointed when an older gentleman with a large black lab on a leash emerged.
As Isabel's watch neared 7am, the traffic-both pedestrian and vehicular-slowed again. The people coming out of the various buildings now weren't the businessmen and women of earlier in the day. Some of them were walking dogs, others walking baby carriages, while still others jogged with headphones in their ears.
Isabel began to wonder if Jesse would ever emerge from his apartment when finally, he did. It was almost 7:30am and Isabel stared in wonder as she watched her husband, so far removed by time and space, come down the stairs of his Brownstone in a dark blue suit and yellow tie, look down the sidewalk both ways, than jog across the street. At first Isabel was certain he was going to walk right by her, but he turned the other way and headed away from her.
Isabel waited a few seconds, than followed. He was moving fast, almost jogging at times as he weaved in and out, around the people crowding the sidewalks. They were headed towards Downtown, Isabel noticed as they moved the buildings grew taller and the traffic more insistent.
Finally he stopped.
Isabel ducked behind a tree a block behind as Jesse turned and looked her way. He was nervous about something, and Isabel hoped he didn't sense her following him, or worse, that there was a Special Unit watching him and following him. His actions seemed so deliberate, Isabel worried that he was being watched, and immediately she became more self-conscious. She surveyed the people and the cars within her immediate vicinity. Nothing struck her as out of place or odd.
"Relax," she whispered to herself as she turned her attentions back to Jesse.
Apparently satisfied, Jesse walked into the building he had stopped in front of. Isabel waited a few moments; waited to see if he would emerge. When he didn't, she quickly walked up to the entrance and was greeted by a business park sign indicating a Dentist's office, a Tax Preparer, a Psychologist, and an Herbal Healer were all housed in the building.
Curious, Isabel entered and checked the directory. The business offices were on the 2nd and 3rd floors, while the 4th through 19th floors were luxury apartments. There was an open house that very day…
Isabel smiled as she thought about apartment shopping in Boston with Jesse; about decorating together; about living as husband and wife.
The beeping elevator brought her back to reality asIsabel quickly faced the directory pretending to look for something. But it wasn't Jesse who got off the elevator.
It was the same woman Isabel had seen him with in her dreams.
Her eyes were red, her throat raw.
In the hotel Isabel ordered more room service; a half-galloon of chocolate ice cream, and more Tabasco sauce. She had cried as she'd eaten nearly half the ice cream; the Tabasco sauce long gone. She made no effort to stem the tears, allowing her mind to assume the worst. She would let Jesse explain, but first she had to let herself feel the pain.
It had been three days so far. Every morning Isabel had followed Jesse, and every morning he had returned to that same building in downtown Boston.
Isabel had learned that the woman's name was Melissa Ingland, and she was a Professor of Spanish and Latin at Boston University.
Isabel wanted to give Jesse the benefit of the doubt, but it was getting harder. The only saving grace was that she'd never actually seen them together, or seen her at his apartment. But Isabel was preparing herself for the worst, and only assumed it was a matter of time. Why would Jesse wait, keep himself for a wife that was an alien, hunted by a Special Unit of the FBI just so they could do experiments and dissect her. Isabel, if she allowed herself, could drown in the unfairness of it all. That first day she had. But time had passed…she'd spoken briefly to Max and while she hadn't told him exactly what was happening, she thought he knew. Still the tears came, and Isabel, hoarse from her sobs, thought she would die of dehydration if she cried another tear, yet they kept coming.
But she'd decided tomorrow was the day. The day she was going to reveal herself to Jesse. She would follow him to the same building, only instead of waiting outside, she would follow him onto the elevator and take it from there. She'd noticed there were no cameras in the elevators and if she had too, she'd use her powers to disable the elevator until she had worked out what she needed to with Jesse.
She was scared, some of her tears out of fear; fear of the truth, and fear of what it would be like to see him face to face again; to touch him, to kiss him, to make-love to him.
So Isabel drowned her fears and sorrows in ice cream.
She didn't sleep. She tossed and turned until finally, at 3:43am, she got out of bed and dressed. She would station herself outside Jesse's brownstone and wait. It was better than lying in the hotel tossing and turning and worrying about what had yet to happen.
Isabel left the hotel with a giant mug of coffee, dressed once again in the black beret and sunglasses (which were all the more ridiculous since it was still dark outside). Sipping the coffee, Isabel walked alone on the early morning streets. There was not a sound nor a soul in sight. In the three days Isabel had spent in this neighborhood she was starting to call it her own. She could imagine walking to the corner market once a week to stock up on produce, calling the middle-eastern man who ran it by name. She could imagine walking the streets with one of the other young neighbors, gossiping about celebrities and the rest of the neighborhood. She could imagine throwing a dinner party and decorating the brownstone. She could imagine Jesse, coming home from work and finding her in the kitchen, cooking dinner…he'd put his arms around her waist and kiss her neck and soon they'd be on the floor, making love…
A car alarm sounded a few blocks away and Isabel snapped back to reality, quickening her step and reaching the safety of the mailbox. The sky was starting to glow as it does at dawn, the blues reaching from dark to light across the sky. Isabel sipped her coffee and waited.
It was almost 6:30 before Jesse left the brownstone. One thing Isabel noticed was that he seemed to keep no regular schedule. He came and went at a different time each day, and Isabel wondered if that was because he was being watched. She felt a pang of guilt then, at the impact of her involvement with him and what it had done to him, how it had changed him.
Isabel followed him once again to the same building, keeping a closer distance. He didn't seem to notice and his movements weren't as anxious or deliberate as they had been the first morning. He seemed almost relaxed as he walked towards the high rise destination.
They finally arrived and Isabel felt her heart skip a beat as she realized this was it…the moment she'd worked up to ever since leaving Roswell all those months ago. She was about to be face to face with her husband again, and good or bad, Isabel found that she couldn't wait to see him. To be close to him and to hopefully kiss him at least one more time before everything came to an end.
Jesse entered the building and headed straight towards the elevators. Isabel followed about four feet behind. She was hot, sweat trickling down her back. Her nerves were on fire.
The elevator doors opened and two middle-aged women exited, greeting Jesse by name. Isabel was thrown off and stopped mid-step. She regained her composure just in time to dart into the elevator just as the doors closed. She leaned her forehead against the back of the elevator, trying to calm herself; she could feel Jesse watching her.
The elevator moved slowly and Isabel's mind went blank. What was she trying to do? What was the goal here?
Straightening, Isabel turned towards Jesse. He was staring at her, and it was a stare of complete surprise and recognition.
"Isabel?" His jaw was slack with shock and his eyes were wide with what…fear? Guilt?
Isabel reached out and pressed the emergency stop button in the elevator and they came to a halting stop, a buzzer somewhere sounding for a moment then silencing itself.
"Isabel?" Again, the disbelief was evident and Isabel smiled inwardly.
Taking off the glasses and the beret, Isabel smiled thinly, her mind racing…kiss him, grab him, hug him, hit him, kiss him, kiss him, kiss him…
"Hi Jesse," she finally managed in a thin, whispery voice.
"Oh my God, it is you," Jesse's shock was slowly turning into gladness and Isabel felt herself warming to him. He was reaching out, gently touching the sleeves of her coat as if he wasn't sure she was really there.
"It's me," Isabel responding, thinking of nothing else to say.
"Oh my God, Izzie," Jesse grasped her arms and puller her to him, holding her tight and murmuring into her ear.
Isabel allowed herself to fully accept the embrace and without consciously doing so, returned the hug. She found herself crying and soon Jesse was crying too. Then they were kissing and Isabel thought she'd burst from the joy of it all.
Then Jesse pulled away. He wiped his own face, then reached out and stroked Isabel's face, clearing her tears.
"What are you doing here?" His eyes searched her face, seeming to want to memorize it.
"I had to see you. Jesse, I've missed you so, so much," Isabel felt her tears building again, but Jesse's touch held them back for the moment.
"I had to see you, I had to…to be with you again," Isabel felt the akwardness of her statement and wondered why it felt so strange to be talking about making love with her husband. Then she remembered…Melissa.
"I have missed you so much!" Jesse pulled her to him again, but there was something different about this embrace. Isabel didn't return it and Jesse soon let her go.
"Where have you been? What have you been doing?" Jesse asked as he broke contact with Isabel.
That was when she knew it. That it wasn't just her imagination or her mind trying to create doubt. She knew he was falling in love with Melissa, and out of love with her. Isabel smiled sadly and shook her head.
"I'm not talking about that with you," Isabel fought her now rising anger.
"Okay," Jesse laughed nervously then checked his watch.
"Are you late for something?" Isabel asked, trying to appear innocent while inside she felt the last vestigesof her love for Jesse getburied by the burning hatred of what he'd been doing behind her back.
"Uh, no," Jesse smiled and Isabel noticed it was no longer the smile he used to give her before their lives were turned upside down; it was his polite smile. His work smile.
Nodding, Isabel worked out in her head what to say. She wanted to hurt him, like he'd hurt her, but she knew it wasn't possible. He couldn't see into her dreams like she'd seen into his; and she'd never tell him about Kyle because she wouldn't use Kyle's closeness with her for that purpose.
"Jesse, I came here to let you go."
Jesse's face took on a new look of fear and shock. Of a child who'd been discovered raiding the cookie jar right before bedtime.
"I know you're moving on. Melissa is her name, right? Well, I came to tell you that you're free. We can go our separate ways. I'll be sure the record of our marriage disappears and you can go on and be with whoever you want. I won't stop you. I won't even miss you."
Isabel was now fully angry. Sadness threatened, but she feltmostly angry.
Jesse just stood there, his expression one of guilty sadness and loss.
"Isabel. I don't know how…," he stopped. "I mean, I don't know what to say,"
"I love you so much-but there's so much attached and I guess in the end I couldn't handle it.When you had to leave with Max and all of them…well, I guess it just stopped being you and me and it became me, with a phantom wife that I might or might not ever see again. I stopped wearing my wedding ring because people would ask about you and I didn't know what to say. I could say you died, but that was cruel and it hurt me to pretend you were dead. I could say you left, but I didn't want people thinking badly of you, so I just stopped altogether. That's how it started with Melissa."
Isabel let him speak. Up until he spoke her name she still harbored a tiny bit of hope that she was wrong. But she wasn't and she let him speak. Let him explain. It didn't hurt any less, but it was all she could do.
They had met at the local coffee shop down the block. Jessehad been inthe neighborhood working on a case, and Melissa was out training ("she's a professional athlete, a runner," he'd said proudly). It was instantaneous, their connection. Jesse had tried to be distant but he was so attracted and drawn to her that soon his reasons for staying away seemed silly. He didn't know that he'd ever see Isabel again, so why not? He fought ever moral fiber in his body, but in the end, he couldn't stop himself.
After Jesse spoke, there was a long silence. Isabel thought she heard voices outside the elevator. Reaching forward, she pushed the button and the elevator roared back to life, carrying them towards Melissa. Isabel felt nauseous, she wanted out of the elevator, out of Boston and to forget Jesse.
"Isabel," Jesse added as they moved up the building. "I've noticed the last few weeks a man following me. Be careful."
Isabel nodded, but wanted to laugh at his apparent concern. She wanted to scream at him that it was no longer his right nor his duty to look out for her. But she couldn't do it. The energy it would have taken was too much for her to handle.
The elevator stopped on the 18th floor and Jesse exited.
"Are you leaving now?" he asked from the hallway of the 18th floor.
"Yes. There's nothing keeping me here. My brother and my friends need me," Isabel said softly. Jesse nodded and wore an expression of pain and sorrow. Isabel almost felt for him, then remembered, she was also hurt and sad.
"Goodbye Jesse," Isabel said as the doors slid shut and the elevator descended. He didn't respond and Isabel never saw him again.