Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or any of the show's characters. They are the rightful properties of Rooster Teeth.
Chapter Seven:
"I'm just saying," Dexter Grif's voice filled the car's cabin matter-of-factly, "Getting bit on the ass by a radioactive monkey would be the weirdest fucking way to get super powers."
There was silence for a moment as Richard "Dick" Simmons spluttered at the chubby man's remark, "Wha—what?" He began, red-faced, "How'd you even…how'd you even fucking come up with that?"
Grif shrugged lazily, "Hey, you're the one who asked."
Which was true enough although the orange-wearing driver honestly wasn't sure how the kiss-ass got onto the topic in the first place. Still, let no one ever say that Dexter Grif couldn't win a debate about super powers.
The tan-skinned man almost, almost felt bad for the poor nerd. Now that he thought about it, Grif guessed that the redhead had probably only brought the subject up to save face on the ride back to Hargrove's manor after losing so spectacularly at their earlier game of "porn chicken." The maroon-wearing man was nicely predictable like that, something that Grif appreciated since he didn't have to waste energy figuring shit out.
Simmons settled back into the shotgun seat, huffing at his inability to trounce Grif's logic before another thought seemed to cross his mind. "Wait a minute," he stated, looking contemplative, "How'd the monkey get to be radioactive in the first place?"
Grif glanced at the pale-skinned man momentarily, raising a dark eyebrow, "Really, Simmons? That's what you're going to focus on in this scenario?"
Simmons blushed, "It—it's important to have all the facts, jackass!"
Grif laughed, "If you say so. Nerd."
He was surprised by how intently Simmons was staring at him then, and it was enough to almost make Grif self-conscious. It was fucking strange how much in awe Simmons seemed to be at just a mere laugh.
The heavier set man coughed to change subjects, turning the car left as he did so, "Any…anyhow, another fifteen or so minutes and you'll be back home."
"O—oh." Simmons seemed to physically deflate at the news, sinking further into the seat next to Grif's as his eyes anxiously glanced at the streets they were passing by.
Given the sudden change in the redhead's demeanor, Grif couldn't help asking, "I take it you're not too keen on living there? With Hargrove, I mean?"
Simmons quickly shook his head, "It's not…that…" He began in a faltering voice that clearly said yes, yes it was.
Grif sighed, knowing it was none of his business but curiosity getting the better of him anyways, "Can I ask why you're staying there?"
If Simmons really didn't want to answer, he wouldn't push it. It wasn't like he fucking really cared, as that would be way more effort on his end than most conversations Grif partook in required. Still, he was man enough to admit that Simmons' display of reluctance just then was enough to get even a lazy-ass like Grif to ask about it in the first place.
He figured he must have hit a nerve since Simmons was silent for a few moments. Grif sighed, assuming that the socially awkward man wasn't going to answer at all.
At length, before the chubbier man could just tell him to ignore the question and not have a freaking panic attack over it, Simmons spoke up: "My father's company was a long-time rival of Hargrove's."
Grif whistled, knowing that must have meant that Simmons came from a seriously well-to-do family. He vaguely recalled Donut saying something along those lines back when they had been teenagers too.
"My father made a bad business decision at one point, and Hargrove offered to help bail our company out. On the condition that he gain control of half the company's assets." Simmons continued, frowning in thought, "That included transferring several employees to Charon Industries."
"Including you?" Grif surmised, putting the pieces together as to why Simmons had suddenly returned to Rat's Nest after such a long absence.
Of course that's what had happened. Simmons' employment at Hargrove's business was something akin to brandishing a trophy. It was the equivalent of rubbing salt in his dad's wounds. That was probably even why Hargrove was oh-so-generously letting Simmons stay at his manor while the redhead was working as his aide.
Simmons nodded in response to Grif's question, his freckled face's expression suddenly more serious than any of the ones that he'd worn all night. The orange-wearing driver could understand why.
The situation was fucked up, and for some reason really pissed Grif off to no end. However, it was not at all surprising to him, especially given how much of a jackass the old man was.
That sentiment must have been evident on his face before he had been able to school his expression into a more neutral one because Simmons shifted in his seat and spoke up reassuringly, "B—but it's not so bad. In a way, it's not at all that different from when I was working for my father."
That comment gave Grif pause, and he frowned at the notion that Simmons was so used to all of this. Did the guy just grow up thinking it was okay to be treated like a doormat? Was he that fucking desperate for praise and approval? Talk about having fucking daddy issues. No wonder Simmons was such a neurotic kiss-ass.
The chubbier man's silence as they approached Hargrove's manor made Simmons uneasy, "Gr—Grif?"
Grif's hands tightened on the steering wheel, his brown eyes staring straight ahead, "Yeah, but what is it that you want to do, Simmons?" He asked quietly.
Simmons blinked, not understanding or processing the rather out-of-the-blue question, "W—what?"
They were at the manor now. Grif stopped the car and looked over at the redhead sitting next to him, "What is it that you want to do?" He repeated, just as quietly as before.
Simmons frowned, glancing through the windshield contemplatively, "I—"
The lankier man was cut off, however, by Felix opening the car door at his side.
"Fucking finally." The orange tie wearing security guard exclaimed with a roll of his eyes, "Something else happening to stave off the mental images tonight's brought on. Even if it is a fat-ass and a nerd."
Oh, right. Grif had forgotten that Felix and Locus had been stuck with Hargrove during his "date night."
Locus was standing just behind Felix, his gaze stony as he intoned seriously, "Felix."
"I know, I know. Geez, it's not like I'm saying the old guy can't get any. Just that he shouldn't when I'm around." He rolled his brown eyes again before his gaze finally flickered over to the two silent people sitting in the car, "You coming or going?" He asked Simmons, "'Cause it's no fucking skin off our asses either way."
Simmons became a bit red-faced at the attention being placed on him, and he cast one more glance over at Grif before he shakily nodded his head and exited the car.
Felix closed the car door shut behind him with a bored wave to Grif before he sauntered the few steps over to Locus, whispering something in the taller man's ear. When Felix turned around to regard Grif again, it was with a knowing smirk on his face.
Grif frowned at the bodyguards, but waited until Simmons had hurried inside without a backwards glance before he started driving away.
He wasn't sure why exactly, but Grif had really wanted to hear Simmons' answer to his question. The lack of a response from the redhead still lingered uncomfortably in the car, just like the nerd's absence.
"Can't you guys get another room?"
When Grif came in to work the next day, he was greeted immediately with the sight of Sarge making out with Doctor Emily Grey on the hood of one of the cars that had been taken to the garage for repairs.
Lopez and Sheila were standing in the opposite doorway, Lopez looking quite exasperated at the scene playing out before him as well.
"Es difícil reparar los coches con ellos sentados encima de ellos." {"It is difficult to repair the cars with them sitting on top of them."}
Sheila smiled at the sudden smirk crossing over Lopez's face at whatever it was that he had just said before playfully hitting him in the arm, "I think it's sweet." She interjected with a laugh.
Slowly, languidly, as if to keep torturing those in the Project Freelancer garage, the couple tore apart.
Grey was smiling, clearly unapologetic for the public display of affection. Sarge was beaming himself, even as he glared over at Grif for his earlier comment and muttered something about "shotguns" under his breath.
"Hello!" Caboose poked his head in-between Sheila and Lopez at the sound of the other door having just been opened, "Guess who I ran into!"
"Well, I take it you mean Doctor Grey?" Grif raised an eyebrow at Caboose's exclamation.
The blond-haired younger man nodded, "The nice doctor lady came back here with me to see the sergeant mechanic." Caboose stage-whispered, "Isn't it sweet?"
"Es algo, está bien." {"It's something, all right."}
Sheila hit Lopez playfully on the arm again before nodding her head in agreement with Caboose, "Yes, Caboose. It's very sweet."
"He was wandering around the clinic, so I brought him back." Grey stated in way of further explanation.
"Only because you programmed the GPS on Freckles to do that." Grif couldn't help but point out.
Both Sarge and Grey looked at each other once more and smiled, "Guilty as charged." They both stated at the same time, kissing one another once more.
Grif shook his head and turned away. He needed way more caffeine in his system so early in the morning in order to deal with the two resident mad scientists in their midst.
Lavernius Tucker entered the Project Freelancer garage building just then from the door that led out to where his and Grif's cars were parked. It was the same entrance that Grif had used, and the chubby man suddenly contemplated using it as an exit to get the hell out of there.
If he found a quiet place to hide in, he might actually get a fucking nap in before Carolina inevitably found and then consequentially murdered him for skipping work. Probably not worth the fucking risk. Barely.
When Tucker got closer, the orange-wearing driver noticed that his dark-skinned face looked incredibly ashen. There was even a tense sort of energy in Tucker's body language.
Grif raised an eyebrow at his friend's odd demeanor, "What's with you?" He asked, "Did you find Church and Tex going at it in your car again?"
The teal-wearing man blinked when Grif spoke up, as if noticing the others there for the first time before shaking his dark-haired head at the question, "Nah, dude. But, I'd check your car later if I were you."
Grif groaned, "Fucking perfect."
Tucker sighed before continuing as if Grif hadn't spoken, "But I am meeting Doc and Junior over at Donut's place in a few minutes." He shook his head, "Man, I'm nervous as fuck!"
Everyone else exchanged curious glances with one another at this bit of news since it wasn't like that was a strange occurrence. Doc was Junior's babysitter after all, and the purple-wearing man and Donut were lovey-dovey and practically glued at the hip. You'd think Tucker would be used to that kind of thing by now.
"What's making you nervous about that?" Grif inquired lazily when it was apparent that no one else was going to bother to do so, "You do that all the time."
As if realizing that he may have let out more information than he had intended just then, Tucker blanched.
He shifted awkwardly on his feet as rubbed the back of his head nervously, "So I maybe, maybe arranged it so that Washington would meet us there." He sheepishly admitted under the collective gaze of his co-workers.
"Ooh." A multitude of voices said all at once, realization seeping in that this could even technically be considered Washington and Tucker's first "official" date.
"I fucking hate you all." Tucker couldn't help but mutter under his breath.
Author's Notes: Ah, this is a shorter chapter than originally planned. I figured this was a good stopping point. Otherwise, the chapter would have been really long and would have taken even more time to come out.
Next up on Just Drive: Wash and Junior finally meet, Grif will run into Simmons again, and everyone decides to go cheer Tucker on with his date! Or, more likely, they just decide to tag along to embarrass him. XD
I hope that everyone who celebrates has a Happy Holiday and, if you don't, I hope you have a great week! :)
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this! :D