Chapter 5

Departures

Prim

Author's Note I: I briefly had the wrong chapter (a chapter from a different story called Canid which is an AU crossover with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Norse mythology) for chapter 3, I caught it rather quickly but it was up for a little while – sorry to anyone who was confused.

I say goodbye way too often these days.

Stephen leaves to return to District 5 just two days after the wedding – he's leaving really early in the morning so I have to sneak out and see him off without waking Mom and Katniss. They both have a lot to worry about as it is – I thought it was better to let them rest. That's just as well – it's always awkward when we're all together, because Katniss can't stop teasing me about how he's my boyfriend (he's not!) and Mom gets suspicious of us because I'm too young to have a boyfriend (good thing he's not my boyfriend then), and poor Stephen is so shy anyway he just blushes and acts awkward. When we say goodbye alone, we can talk more openly, and no one gets onto us for holding hands.

His film crew tapes us saying goodbye – they always do, and I must be in a lot of footage between these and my farewells to Katniss. It's awkward because they make us get all pretty first – a young stylist from the Capitol redoes my braid and brushes a thin coat of skin-colored powder over my face, and highlights my eyes with just a touch of eye liner, then puts a clear layer of lip gloss on my lips. Stephen gets almost as much as me – they don't gloss his lips, thankfully. At least it's a "natural" look for both of us – Tony's supposedly is too but they put (I think) too much eyeliner on him. Stephen's uniform by now is all patched up and cleaned – any damage it takes is repaired as soon as he gets back to base, even though you'd think that it would make a better impression to just show it getting ragged and worn over time, like the other soldiers' uniforms do. Once we're camera-ready, we step onto the flight deck and make our way to his craft. I stand in front of him as he stands on the ramp into the hovercraft, one hand in each of his, heart racing as I think about what he'll be facing. "Be careful and hurry back," I tell him breathlessly.

"I'll do my best," he says with a little smile.

"Okay Rogers, let's go," his pilot says grumpily. No one blames him for being grumpy – it's early and flying is always dangerous since we don't know how many Capitol hovercraft could be in the air at any given moment. And he probably sees all this as pointless and silly.

"Yes sir," Stephen tells the pilot, then turns back to me. "Take care of yourself, Prim." Maybe he's not my boyfriend, but I kind of wish he'd kiss me goodbye. As though she read my mind, one of the girls in the camera-encrusted suits says,

"You know you want to kiss her, Stephen," in barely a whisper. Don't know why she bothers – they'll just cut out her voice in editing anyway. He turns red, but leans down – he's so tall now – and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I'm only a little disappointed it wasn't the lips. It's not like he's my boyfriend after all. "Take care of yourself," he says again, then turns to head out. I stand there awkwardly – I usually stay until the craft leaves, but today is the first time I feel self-conscious about it. Do I look like a lovestruck fool? Should I chase him onboard and get my kiss? Will Mom kill me if I do?

I don't have to wonder about it long – everyone else has started boarding but Stephen runs past them to come back to me for a second. He takes me by the shoulders and leans down again, and his lips meet mine.

It's beautiful and sweet, like fireworks and wild flowers and honey all at once. Not steamy, like Katniss and Clint or the other teenagers I've seen – just sweet and short and perfect. I'm sad it's over when he pulls back. His cheeks are as red as fresh apples but he's got this big goofy grin on his face. I know I do too. "I've uh … I've got to go now," he stammers awkwardly.

"Yeah," I agree, not knowing what else to say. He starts to leave but I throw my arms around him one more time, one last hug before he goes.

"Rogers!" the pilot snaps, and we both jump. He kisses me on the cheek again and then hurries inside the craft that's taking him away from me into danger, and I stand back, all the happiness brought by the kiss dashed in an instant at the thought that he could die, that I might never see him again.

I watch until the hovercraft is a little dot in the sky and then disappears completely, and despite the worry that's weighing down my chest like a brick, my lips start to tingle as I remember the feel, the taste of his kiss, and a little warmth starts to make a dent in the heaviness in my chest.

Maybe he is sort of my boyfriend.

Katniss's orders come down suddenly – less than a day's notice that she's going to the field … including to District 7 with Spruce. "Why take him?" I ask, alarmed, when she tells me over supper. I know Spruce from medic training – he's way ahead of me in classes but we work together at the infirmary.

"We're going to Muleshoe," she says darkly.

"Why? What's left for him to find?" I ask. I don't think it will do him any good – just a few more nightmares his medication will have to block.

"They want … footage. Reaction footage. Especially to … to the house he grew up in." I think it's sick – like they want him to show the appropriate amount of grief before they can counteract the slander from the Capitol. Anyone who believes he'd hurt his father is an idiot anyway. At least, that he'd hurt his father when he wasn't … that monster. I worry about Katniss being in that situation with him – will he have an incident? Will he know not to hurt her? I tell myself it will be okay – that even if he does take that form, he won't hurt her. He didn't hurt us.

"So what's before District 7?" I ask, thinking that must be more than enough for any one trip.
"Well …" she starts, and she hesitates and looks to Mom. I know it's bad. "We'll stop in 10 and 11 on the way there. We'll be gone for at least three weeks." I know from the way she hesitated they won't be in deep 11 where it's relatively safe – they're going to be on the front lines, where Thresh is organizing the defenders. I hope no one from our side gets in Spruce's way if he has an incident. I hope Mom didn't catch the hesitation – she'll worry all three weeks if she suspects the danger Katniss will be in.

The next day comes too quickly – like Stephen five days ago now, she leaves early in the morning. Only this time, my mother, Gale's mother, Clint and his brother, Peeta, and Betty are all standing with me. This time it's raining a little bit – much to the frustration of the make-up artists who look us over. Katniss's stylist goes with her – Katniss doesn't like her as much as Cinna, but she says she's pretty tolerable compared to most people from the Capitol. The stylist's boyfriend's here too, to see her off – he looks at us shyly and doesn't say much. I don't like that Gale's going – I've always liked Gale, and I don't know exactly what's going on, but I know Katniss was upset when she came back from hunting with him after the first time they went hunting with Clint, and ever since then she hasn't wanted to be around him, and I worry about them both if they're not getting along.

We're standing there having make-up applied when Johanna rushes up. "I'm going with you," she says breathlessly, holding out her wrist, which proves she has the orders. She must have just gotten approval from Fury – I notice she didn't ask anyone who was going for their thoughts.

"Johanna – you don't have to …" Spruce starts quickly. They tend to put too much eyeliner on him as well – they seem to think that just because his eyes are behind glasses, we can't see them, and, of course, they want those eyes visible. They're beautiful – intense and dark and expressive.
"I know I don't have to, lughead … I just want to," she says sharply. Well, sharply compared to other people – she just sounds like how Johanna sounds all the time. "They're my people too." The prep team moves over to her and make her up quickly – even though I think Johanna's pretty enough she doesn't really need it. I look over to Katniss – her lips are thin and she refuses to look. I'm not sure what prompts this, until I see how Duke reacts to her being there. He's glaring daggers at Johanna – which the slight dark-headed woman takes in great stride. She steps next to Spruce and puts her arm around him, and if this bothers Betty she doesn't show it. Of course she doesn't seem to be the jealous type and we all know how Duke acts around Johanna, so we generally forgive whatever she does to try to avoid it.

Clint's already got his arms around Katniss, holding on to her as tight as Rei held on to Tony's dad in the gut wrenching propo I watched with Stephen, and they almost have to pry him off to get the make-up on them both. Instead, Katniss convinces him to turn so he's only got one arm around her and they're both facing out so the stylists can get to them. I glance over at the others to see their reaction – most of them are too busy getting their own make-up on to notice, but Hazelle, Peeta, and Katniss' new stylist look like it's breaking their hearts. The propos won't show this – they won't show the desperation, the hurt that she's leaving him. They might get a good shot of a kiss and play that as this valiant parting of the lovers, to be reunited in better times – I get a little sick thinking that if she dies, they'll probably play his goodbye uncut, to play up the tragedy. I wonder what their excuse will be for why he doesn't go – he looks healthy enough now, and Spruce is going. The fact he was hijacked is, of course, not a matter for discussion off base – I wonder if we'll ever be able to talk openly about Phillip and what happened to him after this is all over. Clint finally steps away when it's time for the rest of us to say goodbye and the cameras come on.

"Promise you'll be careful and hurry back," I tell Katniss as we embrace, the same thing I told Stephen – only with even more worry in it.

"I will, little duck," she tells me, and I self-consciously tuck in my shirt. I can't believe the stylists didn't catch that – or didn't tell me if they did notice. Mom doesn't say anything, just hugs her tight and tries not to cry. Hazelle hugs her as well before going on to give Gale a hug that almost strangles him, Peeta hugs her for a little too long, and then Duke gives her a big bear hug and says,

"You better come back in one piece so I can get my little sister." And then … Clint. He plays the part of the recovering headstrong archer pretty well as he whispers something in her ear and kisses her goodbye. Those same deep kisses they always share – only this one has desperation in it I can practically taste. A tear rolls down her cheek and I wonder what he said. I can't stand it – I look up to see Betty resting against Spruce with her head on his chest and his arms are around her. It's not as passionate, but it's sweet. The worry's much more open for her – I don't think she can hide things as well as my sister and her fiancé can. I still feel bad there's no one to say goodbye to Johanna – I feel so bad about that I give her a hug. It actually makes her smile a little bit, even though it takes her by surprise.

And then, all too soon, it's time for them to go. Their camera crew – which includes a set of identical twins, one of whom is an Avox – step into the craft, and everyone stands back. I expect Clint's façade to crumble – I expect him to fall to his knees, go into hysterics, or something …

Instead he takes a deep breath and only cries a little. I feel the tears start to fall from my eyes too and I bury my face in his chest, putting my arms around him and squeezing so tight I'm not sure if he can breathe. His arms close around me, strong and steady. We hear it take off, and we start counting the days right at that moment.

Author's Note II

The first two stories were published pretty much all at once - there will be a bigger gap on this one. I'm not quite finished and I'm still studying for first year exams / trying to find a lab so I can stay and actually continue being a grad student, so obviously that's the priority. I'm almost done with this story, enough that I am fully confident I can finish it by the end of summer or sooner (unless I have to move back home, which unfortunately is looking increasingly likely, in which case it may be finished some time in autumn). But it's already been a huge wait for you guys and I wanted to make sure I got at least a few chapters out to help hold you over. When I get more time I'll be back with the story of what the individual Avengers are doing over the next few weeks. Even though they're happening simultaneously, I am doing separate chapters for each character because it would be a fifty page chapter if I switched viewpoints in the same chapter.