AN: I'm in a really bad mood because my first year of college has started. You know, new faces, new methods of teaching; slow adjustment to the situation…All in all, one big mess! I was in a very bad mood, and some personal things occurred and I was so screwed up…So I decided to give you one new chapter, since you're all so good! That way, both of us will be happy somewhat.
And I want to thank Fluffyfangirl89 who was that kind to translate the song "Eternal" from Japanese.
I highly recommend you to listen to it!
Disclaimer for this chapter: I don't own Ishihara Shin'ichi's "Eternal" nor do I own "Ai no Kusabi".
--
'Do you remember….You always had time for all the others rather than for me? I can remember, I remember so brightly how you never wanted to leave your precious laptop alone. You always had to work, work, work…But that was reserved only for me. You could leave that all for everyone else. Even a lousy neighbor could drag you away from your precious 'work'. You could go to your neighbor's wedding and didn't even bother to bring me with you although I know those people as well. Not as long as you know them, but still…We were living in the same apartment, yet you never bothered, Eiri, that I remained at home and you got drunk there somewhere, with the pals you found by accident.
Who knows, maybe you even cheated on me.
You have always been keeping me left out of things.' Shuichi was thinking bitterly as he was driving home. It was not just alcoholism. It was something else. So many problems were in his way when it came to the one he loved the most.
He was feeling as if somebody had put salt to his fresh and bloody wound.
'You never respected me.'
His heart ached from bitter memories. It's a real wonder what a man can handle just because he loves somebody. No…love is inappropriate word. It was blind adoration of somebody's pretty face. And he had been forgiving and forgetting; tolerating all those bullshit because he had believed that eventually, everything would change. He knew he had been a fool thinking like that, then.
He had believed in those eyes and what they had been telling him for years. But now, it all seemed so worthless, all his efforts and all the actions of his kind heart.
He stopped in a hidden ally, somewhere where nobody could see and gossip about how the great Shindou Shuichi was crying like a baby. For he was really crying, out of his aching heart.
'Why didn't they invite me? They knew me!' a voice in his head was hissing in pain.
'Nobody respected me as his boyfriend. Nobody cared that I belonged to him and he was mine…Nobody cared…'
And it was really strange how they had been chatting in corridors and all, and they had never said: "You can come with Eiri." Not a single word. And Eiri had been perfectly fine with it.
Eiri was monster.
Eiri was the only decent person that Shuichi had ever been with. Nobody else could be like him. Shuichi never wanted any other person.
Silent music was playing on the radio and he silenced himself to hear the words. It was one of his favorite ballads. Ishihara Shin'ichi's "Eternal", the ending theme of "Ai no Kusabi", Shuichi's favorite anime.
Calling, the heaviness of the sighs on the endless nights
I am in pain from missing you
Shuichi was looking through the windshield, at nothing particular. Like he was hypnotized. He could only hear the words…
He remembered the movie of forbidden love. The lovers found their peace in death. But it didn't matter. The thing that mattered to Shuichi was the sacrifice they were taking one for another.
I can no longer see anything
don't let me go
don't leave me
Only you I believe in
Aa, to warm my lips
Iason was risking his reputation to be with Riki. He, with such pride, sunk that low to go in the slums to save his beloved. He didn't care for his job and place in society.
Calling in the night
My emotions make my heart pound
And he sacrificed everything. He remained without both legs as he was saving him. And Riki could just walk away. He remained to die with Iason, instead. He sacrificed as well.
Night after Night
love is crying out
Shuichi could see that picture in the end, dying together, in an embrace, looking at each other with love in their eyes. Together. Until the end.
I can hear silent words in my dreams
Shut out the bitter memories
I can no longer see anything
And that was all bullshit because this was real life and Iason and Riki were fictional characters. But Shuichi knew that somewhere in the world, there were couples that would die for each other. Not so theatrical like his favorite characters, but still…
Everybody seemed better than him and Eiri.
Don't tell me, don't say anything at all
Falling into the heat of the night
Aa, It's all just a mirage
he closed his eyes, shaking from endless crying over his destiny. Why, why, why…?!
Silent all the night
Someday I'll see that remote dream
My feeling for you bares sighs
To a faraway place
He whished he could just disappear…
--
One phone call was enough for Hiro to have the crystal image of what would happen when Shuichi comes back.
Tohma had phoned him. He had told him how Yuki had come to him and he was all in the mess. He had become hysterical to the point of Tohma could no longer listen to his random babbling and strong sobs.
Yuki didn't even care to hide that he was disturbed and that was the bad sign.
He wondered where Shuichi was. He was worried.
He kept pacing through apartment. Something was wrong…
--
At three a.m. he was really worried. He didn't know what to do and on impulse he dialed Tohma.
"He still didn't come back…He…I…What if…" he was barely catching breath, scared.
"Just take it easy, Hiro…" Tohma was calming him down, "He's very stressed, give him time…"
"Time! It's 3 a.m. for fuck's sake!"
"Then why don't you just look for him? I'd come with you, but I mustn't leave Eiri alone, not at this point…Hey, what was that sound?"
There was something like slamming the door opened, and then slamming them closed. Hiro didn't even notice until Tohma commented.
He turned around to see the pink messy hair and the swollen face of his best friend.
"It's…Shuichi." he barely told Tohma, staring at the sight before him. He dropped the phone, running to his friend.
"Shu?"
Shuichi just looked at him with those glassy amethyst eyes.
Hiro didn't even have to ask. He already knew. It would be better if he didn't ask anything. He should leave it rot for good. He wanted the fastest recovery for Shu. But he also knew for the good chance for Shuichi never to recover.
It was the most likely outcome, unfortunately.
It was the greatest love he had ever witnessed. He took it as his personal tragedy, somewhat.
The singer just collapsed on the couch, looking and acting like a zombie.
'It's not totally over, is it? I just find it hard to believe…' Hiro frowned, still looking at Shuichi.
It was terrifying, the image of a broken man.
--
His eyes adjusted to the daylight. There was something disgusting in the fact that he actually woke up. He didn't feel like existing.
"Ah, you're awake." said the voice from the door. Then the man approached. He blinked in order to see the man better.
"I'd love if I just…died…" he muttered, getting out of warm bed. For some reason, he despised its warmth.
"Oh, Eiri, don't be so pathetic! Fight, you moron! If you really love him, be annoying, be stubborn, be….something! Haven't your novels ever taught you something?"
"They're just worthless trash…They're unreal." Eiri snorted, undressing. "I'm gonna take a shower, if you don't mind. I gotta go home…" he crawled to the bathroom.
'He's really bad…' thought Tohma, 'I wish I knew what to do.'
--
AN: There you go!
I've been checking on stats for this story and so many people had read it, yet most of them never reviewed. Why-well that's a question. It costs you nothing and nobody's gonna kill you if you review. Even if you don't like it, you can review. Whatever, I just want to know opinions of as many people as possible. Is it so hard to do?
I mean, there are people who review this and I really, really appreciate that! Thank you guys!
And the others-feel free to join the club. Please review!