Hey! So, another could-be-considered-filler-but-it-has-a-point-and-I-planned-it-to-go-before-the-wedding-chapter-and-it-isn't-pointless-fillery-crap chapter. There is exactly, one more chapter - I believe- until the wedding. So, Chapter 20 should be the wedding, if not 21. But, for reasons that are my own, I may not post the wedding the day after I post the next chapter. It may be a few days, and you will totally understand why when I post it. Oh! And on a really happy personal note, my brother called us last night, letting us know he was back in Virginia from Iraq and that he'll be home in Jersey on the 15th! I can't wait. I'm extremely close to my brother despite the 4 years difference.

Chapter 18:

Final Jam was on Thursday, and by Wednesday, Nicky was bored and depressed.

"I can't even watch TV out here." She complained.

Shane rolled his eyes. "I told you I'd take you home before we came here. You insisted on coming."

"Yeah, well, I didn't think it'd be so boring without Riley." She mumbled.

I sighed and gave Shane a look. He rolled his eyes and left the cabin. "What's wrong, Nick?" I asked gently.

She sighed. "I haven't seen him in months. I barely get to talk to him. This sucks. Why do we choose to do this?" She asked.

I smiled. "Because we love them. It's hard, Nicky, but you have to hold out. Believe me, if it wasn't worth it in the end, I wouldn't be getting married in less than a month."

"But it's different with you and Shane. You just… click." She sighed again. I rolled my eyes to myself.

"So do Stas and Jason." I reasoned. "But so do Caitlyn and Nate. And we know they have there fair share of problems."

She half smiled. "I know. But, you all have your relationship out in the open. I don't."

I pouted. "That's your brothers fault." I perked up a moment later, though. "There are ups and downs to having your relationship out in the open or kept quiet. You don't get to see him, there are probably a million stories about who he's dating that make you worried that he's cheating, and you have to hide your true feelings around people who don't know or you don't trust to know. But at the same time, you don't have to deal with haters and the press hounding you. Especially you. You get enough crap with being Shane Grey's little sister. But having the world know can have it's advantages, too. I can kiss him whenever I want and I don't have to hide. But then they like to throw their opinion out there as well. I'm not telling you which to do. Whatever you choose is best. You really need to talk to Riley about this."

She nodded. "I would if he'd ever call." She pouted.

I awed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Let's go see if Mom has any ice cream in the kitchen."

She smiled. "I love your mom." She said as we headed toward the kitchen.

Nicky was stuffing her face when I heard footsteps I looked up and saw Riley walking up behind her. He pressed his finger to his lips and indicated for me to be silent. I nodded discretely. "I'll be right back, okay?" I moved off to the side of the kitchen and watched as Riley bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Riley!" She screamed jumping up to hug him. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She asked with her arms around his taller frame. He'd grown a few inches in the last year and now towered over his girlfriend.

"Wanted to see my favorite girl." He said looking down at her, smiling brightly. "The last few tour dates got canceled because there weren't enough sales, so they transferred all of the tickets to one show and I have the rest of the summer off."

"Oh my god!" She laughed happily. "That's amazing. I mean, not the whole, not enough sales thing, but you being here."

He shrugged. "It's okay. They're fairly expensive tickets because of the headliner, and that entire area of the country is pretty broke."

"That's true. It's not your show." She nodded. "Next tour, you should totally go with my brother. Then I'd get to hear from you more."

He looked sheepish. "Actually- I am. I'm opening up for them in Europe." He winced.

"What? Europe. You just got off tour with- and now you're- Riley!" She yelled. She pushed him. "I hate you." She yelled, storming out of the kitchen. She came back a moment later, grabbed the ice cream and left again, glaring at Riley.

He dropped onto the stool she'd been on. "What do I do?" He asked, obviously knowing I was hiding.

"I can't tell you. She's… you need to talk to her. Try talking to Shane. We've had our fair share of tour related fights." I said as I walked back out into the open.

"Thanks." He said, getting up. "Do you know where he is?" He asked.

I shook my head no. "I kicked him out of the cabin to talk to Nicky and I haven't seen him since. She's really missed you, Ri."

He nodded. "I know. I've missed her, too." He nodded once more before leaving without another word. I sighed and placed my ice cream back in the freezer.

The following night, Nicky still refused to talk to Riley, still too mad at him to think clearly. I tried to help, but she was pretty stubborn.

Actually, once again, we don't know who won -well Shane does, but I don't- because Riley and Nicky were outside screaming at each other. Well, Nicky was screaming and Riley was trying to yell over her.

"You're so selfish! Did you even think about this before you agreed? Honestly, I'm in high school, having my boyfriend in Europe on a tour isn't the eas-" Nicky was screaming.

"I love you." Riley cut her off. I froze, watching the preverbal volleyball drop to the ground.

"W-what?" She stuttered. Something clicked in my head. He'd never told her he loved her before. They've been together over a year and she considered having sex with him…and he just said that?

"I love you?" He repeated uncertain.

"And you picked now to tell me that?" She cried out in anger. "Nice one, Ri. Thanks a lot." She stormed off in tears. Riley looked at me helplessly. I shrugged and followed Nicky back to our cabin.

"He's never said that before and you considered sleeping with him?" I yelled walking into the cabin. I don't know why, but I felt a sudden maternal urge over Nicky.

"Not now, Mitchie." She groaned tearfully. "I can't believe he just said that. Like… the sky is blue, oh wait, we're arguing, so let me question it after I say it."

"I'm sorry. We'll discuss that later. But, seriously, what's wrong?"

"He just… he didn't even tell me that he was going to perform with them. Like, that it was even in the works. And neither did Shane."

"Don't get mad at Shane. It wasn't his place. He might not even know yet, since I don't know. But, Riley should have told you. Nicky," I sighed. "Something you need to learn about dating a pop star? They like to leave you out of the loop until the have to tell you. Shane did it up until I threatened him."

"Why is this so hard?" She cried. I rubbed her back.

"I don't know. Do you love him?"

"Yes." She squeaked.

I nodded to myself. "Then go talk to him. Not yell. Talk." She sighed, but did as she was told.

Shane came in a little while later, looking for me. "Hey. What's up?" He asked sitting next to me on the bed.

"Nicky and Riley are having a Shane and Mitchie argument." I said simply.

"So, he never told her he'd be opening up for us?" He said in understanding.

"Yup. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I didn't want you to accidentally tell Nicky. And I wasn't sure until just now."

"Oh." I said softly.

"Sorry, didn't think it was that major."

I shrugged. "A heads up would have made my life easier since I am your sister's best friend, pretty much."

He sighed. "Sorry."

"I forgive you." I said playfully.

He grinned and leaned over to kiss me. Within moments we were making out on the bed, not caring whose it was.

"Ohmigod. Ew. Off my bed." Nicky cried.

We laughed pulling apart breathlessly. "This from the girl who basically keeps telling us to do it." Shane teased.

She glared. "Not on my bed, I don't." She replied.

"Did you and Riley make up?" I asked. She looked away. "Nicky…" I warned.

"Not exactly. We're… taking a break?" She said timidly.

"Nicky!" I groaned. "The boy tells you he loves you and you take a break?!" I cried out at her.

Shane became alert asking, "What?"

We ignored him, of course. "I'm scared, Mitch. What if… what if he doesn't mean it, and just said it to get me to stop talking?" Nicky asked defensively.

"What would it matter at this point?" I yelled at her. "You were more than willing to sleep with him but you can't handle him telling you he loves you?"

"What?!" Shane yelled even louder. Again, we ignored him.

"It's different. Sex doesn't have to be because you're in love. Saying I love you should be because you're in love." She retorted.

"That's a depressing outlook, Nick. You should be in love with the person when you take that step in your relationship." I said softly.

"Yeah… well… it's how I see things. Sex isn't what you all make it out to be."

"How would you know?" Shane demanded with narrowed eyes. Nicky wouldn't look at us. "Nicky." He said sternly. She bit her lip as it began to tremble. "Nicole… tell me you didn't…" Shane pleaded.

"It just… happened…" She said softly, not looking at him still.

"Nix…" He sighed, hugging his baby sister. I kept quiet, watching the scene before me unfold. Nicky started crying in Shane's arms. "When?"

"At a party when I was 14." She sniffled.

"With who?" He asked.

"One of Kevin's friends, I think. I don't really remember. I was…" She stopped talking. Shane groaned. "I'm sorry, Shane. Please don't tell Mom and Dad." She begged.

"I won't." He promised. "Just, promise me you won't again until you know it's right."

"I promise." She replied. I smiled at the sight of them.

"Now, why are you so afraid of Riley's feelings?" He asked.

She shrugged and reached out her hand to me. I allowed her to pull me onto the other bed with her and Shane. Shane and I sat there, with our arms wrapped around her, soothing her. "I'm afraid that I've found the one already, and that my life is… over… or that I'm going to love him so much and lose it all because in the end he's not…"

"That makes no sense, Nicky." I teased. I managed to get a smile from her. "But I can understand that. Finding someone you love so much at such a young age is scary. You think in a few years you're going to realize you wanted something else, something more. That you never got to truly test the waters of life." Shane shot me a worried glance, but I smiled reassuringly at him. "But sometimes you do find the one and nothing can change your mind. You just need to be willing to take that risk that everything is going to fall apart in front of your face. Because if you don't take that chance, things will."

"Mitchie's right. But that's not all that scares you, is it Nix?" It was rare to hear Shane call Nicky, Nix. It was an occasional nickname he had for her, since most people called her Nick or Nicky to begin with. He only ever called her Nix in special moments. I'd overheard them talking one night in the apartment about when they were younger. Shane kept calling her Nix and she called him Shay. I hadn't heard either since.

"No." She shook her head. "He's older than me… and famous…"

"You sound a lot like Mitch and me." Shane smiled down at her.

"But… Riley and I don't click like you do." She argued weakly.

I rolled my eyes. "This again? Have you ever seen the way that boy looks at you?" I asked. "He's loved you for a while now. I was surprised he hadn't told you."

"I guess you're a bit Nate and Caitlyn like, too." Shane laughed.

"Yeah…" Nicky agreed softly. "I don't know what to do."

"I think you need to tell Riley what's really bothering you and then decided if you want to be together or not." I suggested. She nodded.

"I will in the morning." She promised. "I'm going to bed. Night, Shay." She kissed Shane's cheek. "Night, Mitch." She hugged me and got off the bed. Shane and I stood and headed to the door as she crawled into hers.

"Love you, Nicky." I called back to her.

"Yeah." Shane agreed.

"I love you guys, too." She smiled and went to sleep.

We sighed as we headed back to the cabin. "That was weird." I commented softly.

"I don't know. It was… different. Not weird." Shane disagreed.

"Either way. I felt like… a parent or something." I said.

Shane smiled, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Relax. That's called being a big sister." He explained. "She hasn't ever had one and you've never been one, so…"

"Well, you are an awesome big brother. She's lucky to have you." I decided.

"I want to show you something when we go to Massachusetts again." Shane told me.

"What?" I asked.

"You'll see." He said simply. "And by the way, Happy Anniversary." He laughed.

"Happy Anniversary." I replied, kissing him lightly.

After leaving Camp Rock the next day, Shane decided to take me to Massachusetts instead of home to New York. We pulled up outside of a small beat up house on the outskirts of a small town. There wasn't another house for about 5 minutes up the road. I was a little nervous being out here. It reminded me of Justin's house. Shane stepped out of the car and I followed suit.

"Shane… why are we here?" I asked uncomfortably.

"With the wedding and all… I've been doing a lot of thinking. Things I want to tell you, show you, do with you. All before we do get married. This is one of the things I never really thought to share before that."

"Oh. So, what is this?" I asked nervously.

"This… is my house." He answered simply, shoving his hands into his pockets.

I faltered. "Your… what?" I asked, confused.

"This is where we lived when I was younger." He explained. "My parents still own the property."

There was a stark difference in this house and Shane's house near Boston. The house in Boston was a beautiful, upscaled two story house with a huge back yard, a pool, two master bedrooms and three other bedrooms. This was a small 1 story house that looked like it had maybe one or two bedrooms.

"I can see why your parents moved with the twins." I said, assuming they moved when the twins were born.

"This was my parents pride and joy before I was born. They saved up their money prior to getting married and bought this house. Mom wanted to live near Boston, but they couldn't afford it at the time. And Massachusetts was closer to Boston than New Jersey was." He said, dismissing what I had said.

"Your mom's from Jersey?" I asked astonished. I never realized it.

He nodded. "Yup. Born and raised a Jersey girl. Like someone else." He smiled at me. "But Boston always called to her as a kid. Gramps used to take her on day trips all the time. It was a bit of a drive, but she never minded getting up at 4 in the morning if she got to go to Boston for the day." I smiled. "Anyway. They bought the house and got married. Unplanned and unexpected, I was born ten months later. It was hard, because they spent most of their savings on the house and weren't planning on a newborn. But they made due at the time. Then the twins were born 5 years later and there just wasn't enough room. At first, we shared my room, but then when I turned 10... Sharing a room with my 5 year old sister was awkward. So, Mom and Dad bought a sofa bed and moved out into the living room. Kev and I shared a room and Nick got her own."

"When did they buy the new house? It seems like things were really tight…" I asked confused.

He again ignored my questions. "They started fighting when I was 13. Money was getting tight. So, Uncle Brown took me for the summer. He had just started Camp Rock in the last year. I never wanted to tell you this…" He sighed.

"Tell me what?" I asked suspiciously.

"I was mad that you lied to me about your mom. But, I did the same. Everyone knew Brown was my uncle, but they didn't know I was going to Camp Rock because my parents couldn't take care of me. That I wasn't paying to go to camp."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" I asked, slightly hurt.

He sighed. "Because I was ashamed that I'd given you the impression you had to hide, when I hid a lot worse. We moved on from it, I didn't want to think about it, I never mentioned it."

"So, why tell me now?" I asked.

"I'm getting there. I promise." He said. "I spent every summer there, and Brown and I were really close. Then, we got signed. Everything changed after that. My parents did their best to give us everything they could and I appreciated everything they did. So, I took my signing bonus and told them I wanted to buy a house. They told me no at first, but I begged them, seeing as Nicky and Kevin deserved a better house, and that Mom deserved to live closer to Boston like she wanted. They eventually caved. That's why I have my own bathroom and a huge bedroom. 'Cause it's my house." He smiled. "I wanted to make sure my brother and sister had everything they wanted. But then, once we started getting bigger, I came to realize the other side of people. I found myself getting used a lot. And, it didn't take long for me to get sick of it. I never stopped giving my brother and sister anything they asked for, but I stopped trusting people. Remember when I said I never know why people are hanging with me?" I nodded in understanding. "I also thought Uncle Brown was using me. He kept begging me to come see him at Camp Rock, saying it wasn't the same without me. But, I thought he just wanted the publicity."

I was shocked, knowing Brown was nothing like that. "Shane, I still don't know why you're telling me this…" I said confused.

"People think you changed me… and in a way, you did. But it was more like… you just showed me who I used to be. You've given me back so many things I'd lost along the way. I owe you so much. I wanted to show you that you don't have to worry about me turning back into that jerk you first met. That's not me. And with you to ground me, I won't ever be that way again." He finally faced me head on and took my hands in his. "Mitchie, I want to give you everything in this world I can. I don't think I can ever give you as much as you've given me. I know you hate when I spoil you, but I love doing it. I want you to be happy. I never want you to want. When we have a family someday, more than Jake, I want to give them the absolute best I can. I'm not ashamed of where I come from, but I don't want them to ever go through some of the things I did."

I smiled softly at him, awing ever so slightly. "Shane…"

"And I totally just ruined half of my vows." He groaned.

"You wrote your vows?" I asked, surprised.

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."

"Well, I'm sure they'll still be beautiful. Thank you, for showing me this. I think I really understand you now."

He smiled, wrapping his arms around me while I buried my face into his neck. "Good. I don't think I said exactly everything I wanted to, but I told you enough."

"I owe you a lot, too, Shane." I whispered. "Don't ever think we aren't even. I love you."

He kissed my head. "I love you, too, baby."

So… today is Bree's birthday… she's 18... Aren't you all excited for her? Oh! She just realized she's posting Chapter 18 on her 18th birthday! Haha. And Allison, Eye El Oh Vee Ee Ewe Oh So Much!