July 2014
Mordred felt inclined to put it down to Merlin's extraordinary behaviour the previous month as he agreed to meet his mother. He had felt amazed at Merlin's calm, assertive behaviour. The oddest part, Mordred decided, was that he had been watching it for years, and not really noticed it's development. Now, as he sat in the cafe of the bookshop, he remembered his first day with Arthur and Merlin, and the panic Merlin had felt over the tutorial he had run for one of his classes.
Merlin now did that sort of thing without even thinking about it.
The whole thing had surprised Arthur as well, after he had come rushing to the bookshop on a rescue mission. Gwaine and Percival had downed tools to help as well, Leon then shipped up - having been called in by Arthur, and Lancelot and two of his fire-fighting colleagues had made an appearance. All of the burly, concerned men had looked baffled when Merlin had calmly informed them he had sorted it out and sent Valiant packing.
"He did," Will confirmed when looked at for confirmation.
"Any of you lot would have only made him worse," Merlin had announced.
"How so?" Arthur demanded, sounding irritated. An emotion, Merlin knew, which was born out of concern for him, which was why he didn't let it annoy him.
"Because you would have been exactly like this, and he would have just fed off it."
"This is the bad thing about him studying psychology," Gwaine announced in between eyeing up Lancelot's two friends. Percival smacked him on the back of his head.
"Hey!" Gwaine yelled. "You're not my wife!"
"You two would make such a lovely couple though," Arthur informed them. Percival glowered at him. The two firemen eyed Gwaine warily. Merlin smirked at them all.
"Enough of behaving like children," he ordered them and then turned to Arthur. "I'll take Mordred home."
"Do you want me to come with you? God help me but Gwaine can drive the car back."
"Or I can," Lancelot offered. "Gareth drove us."
"That," Arthur said. "Is a far better option."
Gwaine had snorted irritably. "I don't know why I bother with any of you!"
All that had somehow taken the edge off the incident. Now Merlin and Arthur sat on a table nearby while Mordred watched his mother climb up the stairs towards the little cafe. Mordred had chosen it as neutral ground, but he felt safe enough, and had been fortified by the last month's heavily domestic surroundings. The previous Sunday he had watched as Merlin cooked dinner, Arthur mowed the lawn and eight year old Elena had watered plants, then helped Merlin. Mordred had watched with a detached air, his equilibrium returning now things had settled.
It had been gratifying to return home to find nothing in his attic room had been moved or changed. For a year it had sat there, occasionally occupied by other foster children, but fundamentally it had remained his. Elena's reaction to the sight of him had been just as cheering; she had grown, her hair a little longer, but no neater, and her eyes had lit up at the sight of him and she had run towards him squealing his name repeatedly until she got close enough to fling herself on him.
The same settling feeling washed over him now as his mother sat opposite him, glaring at Merlin and Arthur sitting at a table on the far side of the cafe. Neither of them would react to that. His mother had objected to all of his foster homes in one way or another. For this one she had been swayed by Valiant's homophobic views.
Once she had finished glaring at them she looked at Mordred. They stared at each other for a moment, not speaking, just regarding each other. He didn't particularly resemble her, although the bleached hair altered her features somewhat, hardening them. He looked at the lines on her face and the dry patches of skin. She might have been pretty if she had looked after herself, if life had, in some ways, been kinder to her, instead of digging her into a rut which she appeared to like and had no intention of getting out of.
"Hello mum," Mordred eventually said, thinking they had to say something to each other rather than just stare. His mother stared at him and then reached into her pocket.
"I don't suppose I can smoke in here?"
"No, you can't, not in a public place," Mordred told her. She huffed and took her hand away from the pocket glaring at Gwen as she came over with a tray of coffee, cake and milk for Mordred. Without a word, and managing to perfectly cope with the glares, she set everything down and smiled at Mordred just about managing to encompass his mother into it.
"Enjoy," she said brightly before wandering away to collect Merlin and Arthur's order to take over to them.
"Patronising cow."
Mordred winced as his mother spoke loud enough for Gwen to hear, and also Arthur and Merlin. Arthur frowned but Merlin placed a hand on his arm and said something.
"I can't help it," Arthur said to Merlin's gentle chastisement.
"I know, but it's not our place to get involved."
"Merlin, we are involved."
"Yes, but only as support, not to interfere. Mordred asked us to be here but he is the one talking to her. Us being here makes him feel better."
"Plus if Valiant shows up again, you can scare him off," Arthur said.
"I wasn't scary Arthur, I was assertive."
"I'm proud of you," Arthur said. "You were no doubt right that none of us would have helped the situation."
"No, you wouldn't," Merlin said with a smile.
"But you are scary," Arthur said. Merlin frowned slightly and then smiled again as he realised what Arthur was talking about.
"That happened once."
"And it's never ever happening again," Arthur said.
"You were all sweet and puppyish when you came to bed. I wouldn't mind, I didn't mind, but it had only been two hours."
"In which you didn't speak to me, you were only polite while Elena and Mordred were about and then you ignored me," Arthur said. "I was so panicked I completely forgot what started it in the first place."
Merlin grinned. He did remember what had but didn't see the point in reminding Arthur.
"It just annoyed me, and I told you so."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"You just said you couldn't remember what had started it, how can you be sorry?"
"I'm sorry I ever mentioned it again. It is the thing to never been mentioned, and I don't want you cross with me again."
"I wasn't even that cross."
"You didn't speak to me for two hours Merlin, it led me to think you were furious. We didn't even cuddle on the sofa."
"Awww," Merlin said as Arthur pulled his lost puppy look. Leaning towards him he kissed Arthur on the nose.
"Cute," Gwen said as she brought them coffee, and Merlin his usual slice of chocolate cake.
"He is," Merlin said running his fingers through Arthur's hair. Arthur pouted. Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Winnie could perch herself on that lip, now stop it."
"So we are never mentioning the unmentionable thing again?" Arthur asked as Merlin tackled his cake with a fork. Looking up he smiled and then said through a mouthful of cake.
"What unmentionable thing?"
"Mum, don't be rude," Mordred said as he watched her glaring at Merlin and Arthur. They stayed absorbed in their own conversation, which looked intense but fond at the same time.
"They have no right to take you away, any of them!"
Mordred frowned as he looked at her. "Merlin and Arthur didn't do anything. Social Services took me away, Merlin and Arthur got stuck with me."
"Not this time. You're the one that's done it now."
"Yes, me. Not Merlin and Arthur, I just knew I could rely on them. Mum, all you do is get angry at other people, you don't see what you are doing."
"I looked after you, didn't I?" she slurped at the coffee and twitched as she looked around. There was no alcohol and nowhere to smoke.
"Sometimes," Mordred conceded. "When he wasn't about."
Droplets of coffee sloshed onto the table as she abruptly stopped drinking and glared at Mordred.
"You tried to ruin every chance I had with him!"
"Yes, I did," Mordred said, with more calm than he realised he was capable of. Merlin again, Mordred thought. "Because he was no good for you, he is no good for you. The only problem is, you like that, because it allows you so many excuses."
'And I'm bored of them,' Mordred thought to himself. That had been the one thing hanging about in his mind for years, for the years that Arthur and Merlin had been carefully dancing around him, and caring for him and treating him as if he mattered. They had not gone out of their way, they just did it.
"It's been hard for me."
"I know that mum, and it was easier for me, because I could get taken away. It's not you, not really. When he went away, to prison, that was fine, it was almost normal." Mordred felt his shoulders rise, in the usual way they could do, when he had to defend himself. He let them drop again. "You keep saying that Arthur and Merlin aren't normal, but they are, they love each other, they cuddle, they argue."
"They're both men."
"You're missing the point. You and Valiant don't work, it's not normal. I wanted to stay I wanted to try. I stayed, I wanted to try, but I can't, not any more."
"You couldn't wait to get away."
She had got to the point that she didn't care anymore, reaching into to pull out her packet of cigarettes and Mordred watched as she lit up. Casting his eyes around he realised that no one would stop her, although Arthur and Merlin watched while still talking, Gwen watched from behind the counter and Will glanced up, frowning but as Mordred met his gaze he nodded and went back to the accounts.
"I never said that, but I need time, I need... I've got my exams, I'm doing well and I know what I want to do."
"Work for him!"
Mordred chose not to rise to the snarl. "Yes, and it's not easy. I need to do well, I want to do well and I can, but I need to work at it, and I like it. I'm not saying that I want you out of my life, I just need more than you in it.
"I know when I say it that it sounds awful and dismissive and it's none of those things, but I can't have you, when there's him. He won't let you, and you let him not let you."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Acrimonious was probably a mild word to describe the conversation and it's ending. Mordred had ordered her to leave, even walking her to the door because he didn't want anyone else blamed in her eyes. He went back and sat at the table ignoring everyone for a good half hour while he exerted all his willpower into God knows what.
In the end he only realised he was crying because Merlin came to hug him. Mordred sighed and snuggled into Merlin's embrace. There were no comforting words, Merlin knew when it would be a waste, and the silence was nice.
Mordred had always put a good deal of faith in silence. When it was needed. It was a good strong virtue of Arthur and Merlin's that they never asked and never demanded. Mordred sighed into Merlin's shoulder.
"I'm all right."
"Do you want some chocolate cake?" Merlin asked calmly.
"No, I think I would just like to go home; if that's all right."
Merlin's answer was calm, precise and to the point.
"Fine."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
25 December 2014
Despite the fact that Uther had, more than once, pointed out that he had more space to accommodate everyone at Christmas, they always went to Arthur and Merlin's. It meant people sharing rooms, and Gwaine inevitably crashing on the sofa with a sleeping bag, but even Uther had to admit that it seemed to add charm to the occasion.
With Elena, and even Mordred, in the house there was a need to over decorate, over cook and the house stirred with activity from about seven in the morning and didn't end until after midnight. Uther long ago ceased looking martyred as the house became crowded and found that he enjoyed it.
There were moments within it when he wondered, when he seriously allowed his imagination to wander and let himself think what it would have been like if Igraine had lived, and if Gorlois and Vivienne had been there for Morgana. Uther had put the effort into Christmas when the two children were small, but his heart hadn't ever really been in it. In the first few years of Arthur's life, Vivienne had been invaluable, organising, cooking and decorating. It made up for Uther's occasional snappish behaviour as he struggled to try and behave normally for Arthur, when nothing was normal. His son was growing up without his mother, that was nothing close to normal.
It had, over the years, left Uther wondering if he was damaging Arthur without intending to, without ever wanting to. He saw the way Arthur behaved, heard enough stories - as much as Arthur tried to keep them under wraps - and knew full well the reputation Arthur had acquired. His son considered to be a bully and a lout, and when confronted with some things Arthur evaded, but never truly denied. Uther blamed himself every time, again wondering if Igraine's gentler influence would have stopped those parts of Arthur's development.
Then Merlin had appeared, as if by magic, and Arthur had somehow, without seeming to really change, become a different person. As much as Morgana had riled at him for seeming to dislike Merlin, Uther had never felt any negative emotion for the gentle natured man whom his son adored.
True, Uther flinched at his son's sexuality, because there would never be a true Pendragon heir, but that did not mean that he didn't accept every part of Arthur as he was. Morgana would hopefully find someone who could control her raging emotions, and need, and help her settle down to produce a family.
But in the end Arthur had produced a family, the DNA of it was not his but Uther saw that Mordred was so close to Arthur, so close to being like him, and then little Elena who had been so vulnerable and damaged until Merlin had done so much to help her.
"Uther, do you want another drink?" Merlin asked tentatively, the bottle in his hand, although nervous around him he was quite prepared for Uther's melancholy downswing that seemed to occur at Christmas. Now his children had grown up Uther had felt prepared to indulge himself in that department. Now instead he thought that he really ought to pull himself together. He sat up a little and said.
"No, thank you, Merlin, I'm fine. Do you need some help?"
"Erm... no, I just needed to lay the table..."
"I can do that," Uther said, hoisting himself up.
"It's fine, I'm sure Gwaine can do it."
"Merlin," Uther said reaching out to put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "I can lay the table."
Then much to everyone's sudden shock, amazement and surprise - most of all Merlin's - Uther leant forward and planted a kiss on Merlin's forehead. With a squeeze of his shoulder Uther moved away, as if what he had done was the most natural thing in the world.
It was, he did it with Arthur and Morgana. Hunith smiled to herself and got up to help Uther while Merlin wandered, slightly dazed, back to the kitchen to check on the turkey's progress.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
26th December 2014
It was another Christmas tradition that Merlin slept in on Boxing Day. The previous day he always rose early, spent all day cooking, fussing and doing what he wanted to do on Christmas. He was always exhausted by the end of it. He didn't do it because everyone expected him to, Merlin loved it, even when he was so tired that he looked almost dead on his feet Merlin enjoyed it and no one could work out a way to stop him.
So, every Boxing Day morning Merlin got a lie-in and never roused before the brunch was cooked. Everyone else did that. Arthur was left with setting up duty, not cooking. But there was enough of them that they worked it out and everything got done, for Merlin.
He slipped from the bed, making sure that Merlin didn't rouse. Such caution was not necessary but Arthur did it anyway. After throwing on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a tee-shirt he went downstairs and pushed the living room door fully open, it had been left slightly ajar to allow for Winnie's nocturnal wanderings. And she had made full use of it.
Another Christmas tradition was Gwaine. He had no family, and no ties, and from the first year that Arthur had asked him to come over Gwaine had never stopped appearing on Christmas day. In the end he was almost as much a part of the family as everyone else was. Plus he could be relied on to distract children, fetch and carry, and eat any leftovers like the human rubbish bin he was. Gwaine loved it. Arthur felt annoyed and harassed by Gwaine most of time, except when Gwaine dealt with a building and he seemed to possess levels of knowledge unto unheard of, but he felt sympathy for the fact that Gwaine had to cover his loneliness and he clung to Christmas, and Merlin, in a way that Arthur couldn't argue with.
As he opened the door fully and looked down at Gwaine Arthur snorted as he tried to contained the sniggers of amusement. Gwaine was awake, lying back on the sofa and at some point Winnie had come to sit on him. She lay on her side on Gwaine's torso, purring loudly as he rubbed her belly, and she had lifted one hind leg to give him access. Her head moved slightly at Arthur's appearance and she opened her eyes to look at him and then she closed them, as she went back to concentrating on Gwaine's ministrations.
"Your cat is a tart."
Arthur laughed.
"Are we setting up?" Gwaine said shifting a little but Winnie rolled with him and Gwaine carried on stroking.
"I am, but don't rush, Merlin will take ages to wake, and the others will be on hand in a while."
"Well, I can start cooking, as I am officially allowed."
Merlin had given Gwaine the go ahead to cook two years ago, and Arthur never heard the end of it, since it was one thing that Gwaine could do and Arthur's couldn't. Arthur rolled his eyes.
"I'll make come coffee for us first," Arthur said. "Do you want any painkillers?"
"Certainly not," Gwaine said, since he possessed an iron clad constitution. However much he drank he never seemed to be roaring drunk and never ended up with a hang over.
Arthur brought Gwaine his coffee five minutes later, Winnie's claws latching in and out of Gwaine's tee-shirt which made him wince occasionally as she caught his skin but he didn't remove her. She continued to purr loudly as Gwaine sat up a little easing her down from his chest almost into his lap.
"If I didn't know any better I would swear this cat is on drugs."
"Only catnip," Arthur said settling into the armchair and sipping at his own drink.
"So if we put the hostess trolley on before I start, we can do the sausages and bacon and leave them into heat."
"And the beans, we have mushrooms and tomatoes as well," Arthur said. "Although we need to aim it for about eleven. Gwen and Lancelot are coming over for half ten."
"Okay, so we have an hour of sitting together and me telling you just how wonderful Merlin is."
"Gwaine," Arthur snarled. "The only reason that bores me is the fact that I know it already."
"Still," Gwaine said, sitting up and lifting Winnie off his lap, he put her on the floor and looked up to smirk at Arthur. "Considering how horrible you are sometimes, there is no reason that I cannot remind you."
"You know Merlin doesn't mention that anymore."
Gwaine looked at Arthur closed his eyes, looking as if he was in pain. Winnie stayed at his feet and looked up at Gwaine, still purring, and he rubbed the top of her head.
"Merlin is far more forgiving than the rest of us."