HJS-NS-23- Authors Note- I have to say this chapter was emotionally draining to write and we hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and we hope you enjoy this one. The song used is Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban and Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review.
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Looking up he saw her face looking at him before she moved her hand away. "Water," she choked out.
Too surprised to see her finally awake he grabbed the glass of water off the cart and pushed it in front of her placing the straw into her mouth.
"What happened?" Haley asked in a raspy voice.
"You were in a car accident," Nathan said gripping her hand as her eyes met him and he saw the fear in them.
"The babies?" Haley asked her eyes filling up with tears as she put the hand that wasn't holding Nathan's on her stomach and not being able to feel her children kicking. She looked up at him and started crying.
"No baby they're ok. The doctor delivered them with an emergency c-section and they're healthy. 10 fingers and 10 toes each. God they're so beautiful." He told her brushing the tears away.
"They're okay?" Haley asked in disbelief.
"Yea they're perfect. Just like you," Nathan told her with a smile and love showing in his eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Haley asked confused.
She had no idea how much pain and hurt she caused him with those 5 words as he looked away. "I'm sorry. I'll leave. I'll go get the doctor and tell everyone you're finally awake." Nathan said getting up and going to get the doctor leaving Haley speechless and confused. I guess it really is over she thought sadly.
"Hey you guys Haley's awake," Nathan told the group before hanging his head and walking away. "I told her if she woke up I would give her freedom and I guess that's all she really wants" Nathan said to himself, his eyes burning with unshed tears as he walked out of the hospital and got a cab back to his apartment.
Lucas was looking for Brooke in the hospital, after seeing Haley lying on the hospital bed; not knowing if she was going to wake up made him realize what he already knew. Life was short and the good things in life could be lost in the blink of an eye.
He needed to set things right with Brooke for good now. He didn't care about the whole Keller thing, he wanted to let her know that he trusted her as much as before.
He finally found her in front of the nursery. She was looking at her nephew and niece as he walked behind her, and wrapping his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.
"Can you believe how gorgeous they are?" Asked Brooke her voice shivering with emotion. "They're the most beautiful babies in the world and my sister isn't here to see them," she added pressing her body against Lucas'. Feeling his body heat made her feel better.
"Yeah they are…" Said Lucas emotionally. He still didn't believe that his cousin had made those. "But ours are going to be perfect too." He added putting his chin on the top of her head.
"Ours?" Asked Brooke frowning. Since the Keller situation, everything had stayed frozen in time. Lucas didn't talk about their future anymore. It was like he wasn't sure he wanted a future with her anymore, but she never mentioned it to him, she was too scared that he would say they didn't have one.
"Well… I thought we would have kids one day." Said Lucas with a smile imagining how they would look like." Don't you want some?" He asked.
"Of course I do! A little boy whose smart and sweet just like you." She said putting her hands on top of his.
"And I want a little girl as cheery and beautiful as you." Said Lucas turning her around. "Why do you seem so surprised?" He asked curiously. "Didn't you think I wanted children?"
"Yeah I did." Said Brooke gently brushing his cheek. "I just didn't think you wanted them with me."
Lucas frowned confused.
"You'll think I'm paranoid but…" Brooke decided to come clean on her feelings. Secrets never worked for them. "But I wasn't sure you were seeing a future with me. You were saying we were fine, but I could feel we weren't." Brooke said her eyes filling up with tears. "I wasn't in anymore" she said putting her hand on his heart "and I didn't know if I would ever have my place again."
Lucas pressed her hand against his chest. Tears started to fall down Brooke's cheeks. He slowly bent down and dried her tears with his lips. "You were right…We weren't fine. I thought we were but it wasn't the case." He smiled and kissed her lips slowly. "But we are now and…and I'm sorry that I didn't let you in all the way. I trust you Brooke," he said sincerely. "I really do."
He saw her face light up with a bright smile. Gosh I missed her smile! He thought. "As for the place in my heart you couldn't lose it pretty girl because…you ARE my heart." He added hugging her tight." I love you more than anything."
"I love you too Luke I…You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." She said crying against his shoulder.
"I don't want you to cry anymore." Said Lucas with emotion gently caressing her hair. "The only tears I want to see now are tears of joy. Don't worry everything will be just fine. Haley's strong…She can't just give up." Lucas took a deep breath. "She knows her babies and husband need her."
"Yeah?" Asked Brooke unsure looking at Lucas.
"Believe me Cheery." He said trying to sound as certain as he possibly could.
Brooke kissed him gently. "Thank you." She simply said.
"She's awake!" Shouted Jake running to them. "Sorry…" He said embarrassed as the nurse sent him an angry look.
"What?" Asked Brooke and Lucas simultaneously.
"Haley's awake! I…She's back." Said Jake with emotion.
The three ran back to her room.
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When Nathan got to his apartment he paid the cabby and walked into it and looked around. Locking the door he went into his room and laid on his bed staring at the ceiling as he thought about the mess his life was.
Who would have thought all this could happen in one year. I get married, find out my wife's pregnant freak out, she leaves, starts hanging out with my enemy, finally get close to her again before some redheaded slut ruins it, she gets in a accident, has our two beautiful children and the only reason she woke up is so she can get her divorce. Nathan thought sadly before leaning over and grabbing his I-pod and put it on random when the perfect song started playing.
Alone in this house again tonight
I
got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's
pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was
and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin'
away
I've never been the kind to ever let
my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never
losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my
pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my
eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Nathan couldn't believe how much this song was true about him. He watched Haley walk away so many times and he never opened his heart to anyone except her and he was an asshole and pushed her away. He let the tears that threatened to spill earlier fall down his face as he continued to listen to the song.
Would it help if I turned a sad song
on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that
you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's
gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you
by hidin' this way
He took out his cell phone and looked at the picture of Haley sleeping from a couple of nights ago with her pregnant belly almost bursting. He laid there and thought about how one mistake made his whole world disappear. He looked at the picture of his children who would never have a normal family and wept for how he was the reason for it.
I've never been the kind to ever let
my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never
losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my
pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my
eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I've never been the kind to ever
let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never
losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my
pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my
eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
He listened to the rest of the song before trying to remember where he put the divorce papers. He got up and started searching for them. He finally found them stuck between two books and signed them before leaning against the wall and sliding down holding his hands in his face and crying for the what could have been life he should of had.
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Damien passed his head through the door and smiled brightly when he saw Haley's eyes locked on his. It felt like breathing again.
"Hey…" He crocked sitting beside her.
"Hey…" She said with a sad smile.
"We missed you Hales…you don't know how good it is to have you back." He said with his voice full of relief.
"It's good to be back, I missed you too." She said a bit uncomfortably.
"But you know…" Damien cleared his throat. He saw Nathan's pain when he left the room and he was still trying to help the couple. "Nathan was completely lost without you. I never saw that much love." He added trying to sound nonchalant.
Haley sighed. "Don't start again…" Haley told him taking his hand.
"You were wrong on the message you left on my machine Haley." Said Damien with apprehension. "Nathan never dated Rachel, I can swear my life on that." He added squeezing her hand. "You know how much I would like to say that Nathan was a jerk and that he wouldn't make you happy and that you would be better with me, but it would all be a lie!"
"And how on earth would you know that?" Asked Haley frowning with wonder.
Damien sighed, he had to come clean to help Haley and somehow it would help him move on even if he knew that she wouldn't talk to him again once she knew the truth. Damn! Since when have I've got a conscience!! He thought shaking his head.
"Damien? Are you still with me?" Asked Haley bringing him back to reality.
"Ok…." He grimaced. "I know that after my explanation you are not going to talk to me ever again so…"
"What? Why?" Asked Haley cutting him off.
"Please let me finish." Asked Damien trying to sound normal. He had to use all his inner strength to keep his voice from shaking. "First just let me tell you that I'm not the same person then the one I was at the beginning of the year and that's all because of you. I really want you to have a great life and…" He smiled. He knew that if he continued he would burst into tears. "You've got two amazing children, I clearly won't see you taking care of them but you're going to be an amazing mum. The best!! And Nathan is going to be a terrific father." He took a deep breath before continuing. "These children are the luckiest kids on earth." He laughed. "Well…know that you saved me. Never forget that!" He added kissing her hand.
Damien explained to her in detail about his whole agreement with Rachel and how he changed his mind but she continued with the plan.
He could see a lot of different feelings pass through her face: Pain, anger, disbelief, sadness…Every sentence was killing him.
Once he was done, tears started to fall down Haley's cheeks. She turned to look through the window.
"I'm really sorry for everything Haley. If I knew then what I know now everything would be different." He said with sadness.
Haley didn't answer.
"Please Haley say something," He begged.
"You were right…" She finally said not looking at him. "I don't want to see you again, not now or ever. You are not a part of my life, never were and never will be."
Damien nodded and dried his tears as he stood up and walked to the door, he turned around.
"Have a great life and believe that you deserve the best." He said emotionally finally leaving the room.
After Damien left Haley was left with her thoughts. All the pain and heartache she had now was because of Damien and Rachel. Pressing the nurses button she waited for the nurse to come in, wiping away the tears from her face.
"Yes can I help you?" a middle-aged nurse asked walking into the room.
"Can you please bring my children in here?" Haley asked softly pleading the nurse with her eyes.
"Normally I'm supposed to say no but just this once I'll make an exception. But you only have a half hour okay?" The nurse kindly said.
"Thank you," Haley spoke softly as the nurse left and returned 5 minutes later pushing two carts with the babies inside. Haley reached out to hold them and the nurse put both children in her arms.
"Hi babies" Haley said choking with emotion as the unshed tears burned her eyes. "So I think mommy made a mistake," she told them letting a tear escape and fall down her cheek. "See mommy became friends with a man that was trying to split mommy and daddy up and then a red headed slut saw mommy last night and made up a lie which mommy heard so mommy pushed daddy away and now you're going to grow up and have parents who are divorced unless mommy can get daddy back." Haley rambled out, as the babies slept peacefully not understanding the troubles happening in their parent's lives.
Haley quit rambling and laughed out loud how she must sound so crazy to her children. She quickly turned somber as she thought about how she could have lost her children because she ran away from her husband instead of confronting him. She started crying for her failed marriage.
All he was trying to do was win me back, but I just had to push him away. Maybe I don't deserve him but god damn it my babies deserve to have a mom and dad that live together. My parents were divorced and I never saw my father I don't want that to happen with my children. I already know Nathan's going to be a great dad and I miss him Haley thought breaking down as the tears just poured down her face. Next time I see him we are going to work everything out, she thought optimistically.
The nurse came in and took the babies before walking out as Haley laid down and wished it was tomorrow already. I hope Nathan visits she thought before she fell asleep.
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I finally get outta here she thought with a sad smile on her face. A week had passed since Haley had woken up from her coma. Nathan hadn't visited her but she'd heard from Jake he had visited the nursery every day. She looked over to the table by her bed and furrowed her eyebrows when she saw a yellow manila folder that wasn't there last night when she went to bed.
Reaching out and grabbing it, her curiosity intensified as she opened it up. She reached in and pulled out the papers and a cd. She looked at the top paper and her heart broke. Petition for divorce lined the top and she quickly flipped the page hoping he hadn't signed it. Looking down a tear fell as she saw he had signed the divorce papers she had given him a while ago. Good job Haley you really made a mess out of your life she thought bitterly.
She looked at the other piece of paper and so it was a note to her from Nathan.
Dear Hales,
Signing these papers has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I fought you about this for so long, but I know now that I have to let you go. I love you always and forever never doubt that. Meeting you and marrying you has changed my life in so many ways. I promised you when you were in a coma if you just woke up I would give you what you truly want. Your freedom. When I found out you were pregnant I was scared and a jerk and I am truly sorry, but you have given me two of the most precious gifts I could have ever asked for. I hope when you look back on us you wont have regrets. My heart will always be yours even if I don't have yours. There will never be another. You were and always will be my angel who saved me. This is the last thing I want, but I know its what you want and for all the pain I have caused you I am entitled to set you free. There's an old quote by Richard Bach and I hope its true. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. I hope you were always mine. I love you baby always and forever. Never forget that.
Love Always and Forever,
Nathan
Haley finished reading the letter as silent tears ran down her face. She didn't even hear Jake come into the room and rush to her side. "What's wrong baby girl?" He asked concerned.
"I…uh," Haley said looking up at him her eyes broken. Before she could continue the doctor walked in. "Okay Mrs. James-Scott let me just take your blood pressure and listen to your heart and then you will be able to leave. Also you can take your babies home with you" He smiled warmly at her as Haley gave him a sad small smile in return.
15 minutes later and she was able to go home. She finished dressing as Jake filled out her checkout papers and got the twins. When he got back to the room he noticed her staring off with a determined look on her face.
"So baby girl ready to go to your apartment?" Jake asked pushing a double stroller where the twins were tucked in safely.
"No," Haley said meeting his eyes. "I'm ready to go home," She told him biting her lower lip as a huge grin formed on Jake's face.
"Thank god finally!" He told her giving her a hug before helping her in a wheel chair and pushing the stroller as a nurse pushed Haley's wheelchair down to Jake's car where Peyton was sitting. Peyton helped Haley into the front seat as Jake buckled the twins in their car seats in the backseat and then loaded the stroller and Haley's stuff into the trunk. Peyton sat between the two babies as Jake got in the drivers seat.
"Hey Jake can you put this cd in?" Haley asked.
"Yea," Jake told her not knowing the significance of it. Goodbye my Lover filled the car as they drove.
"So Haley you glad to be out of the hospital and going to your apartment?" Peyton asked nicely.
"Nope. I'm going home," Haley said smiling before seeing the realization set on Peyton's face and shocking her. Seeing Peyton's shocked face Haley started laughing.
"Took you long enough," Peyton joked with a huge smile on her face.
Listening to the words of the song Haley smiled at the words and knew how true they were.
You touched my
heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my
goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was
blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared
your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your
smell.
I've been addicted to you.
You changed my life too Haley thought with a smile, the nerves finally coming to her as she realized what she was doing.
They pulled in front of the apartment building and Haley looked up at it nervously before getting out of the car. Jake got out and grabbed the stroller as Haley got out Kelsey and Peyton grabbed Daniel. Haley buckled them into the stroller as she turned and gave Peyton a hug goodbye. She turned to Jake and gave him a hug also. "I'll call you if I need you," she whispered before pushing the stroller into the complex.
She felt like she had a thousand butterflies flying in her stomach as she walked to Nathan's apartment. No our apartment she thought to herself with a smile. Taking a deep breath she reached over the stroller and knocked on the door.
Nathan heard the knock on the door and was confused to who it could be. He didn't really want to see anyone since he snuck into Haley's room while she was sleeping and gave her the divorce papers. He walked to the door and pulled it opened forcefully. His mouth dropped in shock seeing Haley standing there with the twins.
"We wanna come home," Haley told him looking up into his eyes and squeezing the handle of the stroller tightly.