CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: SEASON TWO: MULTIPLE EPISODES

You say that you're no good for me

Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve

And I swear I hate you and you leave

But I like it anyway.

Halsey

Suddenly, it is like going through a silent tunnel and entering a war zone. What was once silent is now an explosion of noise. All I see is darkness, but something is happening. Something I can't quite grasp yet.

thumpthumpthumpthump

What is that noise?

I try to feel around me. I'm not sure if I actually do or not, everything is numb.

Then there is nothing.

My breath shoots out of me with a gasp. Everything is blurry and everything is loud. I can hear my brain pounding in my ears.

A hand presses into my shoulder to hold me down as I attempt to sit up. "Haldey! Haldey, calm down," they ease me gently.

There's a breathing tube in my throat and I try to rip it out.

"No, no! No! Haldey," their tone is panicked, but they manage to get a grip of my hands to stop me. I start to choke on the tube. "Doctor! We need a doctor!"

"What's going on?" someone asks quickly.

"She's trying to take out the tube!"

Someone's soothingly running their fingers through my hair. "Shhh, sweetie, calm down."

What's going on? I can't see anything. Everything is so freaking blurry.

They are pulling something out of my throat. Oh god, oh god, why is there something down my throat? It feels like they take forever.

"Shh, baby, it's alright. You're okay now. You're okay," someone mutters.

"Ms. McCall, can you understand me?" A light shines in my eyes making me wince. I don't respond because I can't, it hurts too much. "Hold up a finger if you understand me."

My hands are heavy bags of sand, but I manage to raise a finger. Not sure how high, but the person makes a humming noise of approval in their throat. I'm jealous that they can make the noise without pain.

"Are you able to see? Lift a hand if you can."

I make a breathless whine of pain as I try to speak.

"It make take a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the lights in the room. Don't try to use your voice. Hey, Janet, can you grab us some ice chips and water for the young lady? Thanks."

"Do you know where you are?"

"No," I try to say, but it comes out scratchy and it feels as if I've been chewing on glass.

"You're at Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital. My name is Dr. Sholtz, I'm a good friend of your mothers. She is actually right here with us-" someone touches my hand, I assume it's my mom."- are you in any pain?"

I motion to my throat.

"Here, we have some water for you. Tip your head back for me?" They help me sip the liquid down my burning throat. "There we go. Good girl."

I blink a few times and I start to make out shapes. Dr. Sholtz has short cropped blonde locks, fuzzy green eyes, and is wearing a white lab coat. His smile is warm and I don't feel all that uncomfortable with his presence. But I'm not exactly coherent at the moment either.

Beside me is Mom, like I thought. She's rubbing a hand down my arm with a tired smile tight across her lips. Her chocolate eyes have deep bags underneath them, and I realize she is wearing her light purple nurse scrubs, which means she is working tonight. Or now.

Scott's newly styled head appears over Mom's shoulder. He's watching me with hesitant eyes and I think I smile at him, but I still can't really feel.

"Hey," I grit out when I they meet my eyes. They both greet me with watery smiles.

"Can you tell me your first and last name?"

"Halden McCall."

"How old are you, Ms. McCall?"

"Eighteen."

"Halden, can you tell me the last thing you remember?" Dr. Sholtz questions.

"Umm…" my brows pinch together. "Scott? We were talking."

Scott nods. "That was right before you went upstairs."

"I don't remember anything other than Scott," I state. "What happened?"

Dr. Sholtz looks at Mom and Scott unsurely before turning back to me. He tells me in a very serious voice, "You overdosed."

"I-I what?"

"We had to pump 700mg of lisdexamfetamine from your stomach."

Mom rubs her temple as she averts her gaze to the wall. I hear her mutter underneath her breath in awe, "700?"

"Do you remember taking lisdexamfetamine?"

"What is lis-whatever?" I question.

"The brand name is Vyvanse," he answers. "Are you aware that the average prescription dose is

10mg?"

I shrug.

"Are you prescribed the medication? There is nothing in your medical history documenting that it is."

"It's not…" I admit. "I, um, bought them off of a friend."

Dr. Sholtz nods his head in understanding.

"How long have I been out?"

"A little over a week."

"A-a week?"

"You've been in a coma."

My eyes are wide and I glance at Mom and Scott. Both appear exhausted. I did that to them. I overdosed… I overdosed? Why can't I remember it?

He flips through his clipboard with raised eyebrows. "There is some thing I would like to go over with you in private, or if you are comfortable, with your mother and brother."

"Considering where I am right now I don't know if it can get much worse than this…" I tell him with a frown. "Is my liver failing? Or something?"

"When we ran blood tests we noticed a very high amount of hCG in your blood. Upon further blood tests we have confirmed that you are in your first trimester. Were you aware that you are pregnant?"

"I'm not pregnant," I tell him in my most convincing tone.

The doctor scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "We would like to perform an ultrasound as soon as you are feeling better."

"I just don't understand why that's necessary. There must be a mistake. I can, like, pee in a cup for you right now if you want to double check?"

He smiles sadly at the obvious desperation in my voice. "Ms. McCall, normally I would provide options for my patients in the case; such as the option of abortion, adoption, or going through the pregnancy. With the state you are in right now having an abortion can potentially cause more problems that can endanger your life. I can give you some information on ado-"

"-no," Mom interrupts with a flick of her wrist. "My grandchild is not going to be put up for adoption."

I look at Mom and Scott with fear. This is a joke, right? Because I overdosed. They are trying to get revenge by pretending I'm pregnant.

This is a joke. One huge fucking hilarious joke.

Except it's not.

Dr. Sholtz excuses himself to make his rounds. He promises he will check up on me in a bit and talk to one of the nurses about scheduling me for an ultra sound.

Scott pulls a chair up to the bed alongside me. We are all silent for a few minutes. I lift my hand, the hand with fluids and god knows what hooked up to it, and press it over my stomach.

"Do you think I hurt it?" I ask in a whisper. "Do you think it's going to die because of me?"

Mom squeezes my hand. "I'm sure it's all fine. Look, I'm going to go hound the nurse about getting that ultrasound as soon as possible. I have a friend in that department that should be able to help us out."

She leaves Scott and I alone. I look at my brother and he's staring at my stomach with a deep look of concentration.

"What?"

He snaps his eyes up to mine. "I think I hear it's heartbeat."

My fingers curl over my stomach. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's, um, hard to hear with all the noise, but I hear something. Either that or you need to use the bathroom."

I scowl at him.

"It's… It's Derek's, right?"

"Yeah."

Scott bites his lip. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Scott. I just found out I'm pregnant like two seconds ago."

"Nice to see the drugs didn't mess with your attitude," he grumbles.

"Sorry. I didn't… I'm just… I didn't intend for this to happen."

"I found you," he tells me sharply. "I heard your heartbeat going like a thousand beats per second. So, I went to check on you. You were choking on your own vomit convulsing on the floor."

"I-I don't…" have words to express how fucking terrible I feel.

He shakes his head and grabs my hand tightly. "Don't do that to me ever again. Do you know how awful it feels to find someone you love like that? You're my sister, Haldey. I can't imagine life without you. Don't make me go through life without my big sister. I need you."

"I need you," I breathe out hoarsely.

Scott pushes himself so he's leaning his hip on the bed as he carefully slips me into a warm embrace. I reach up to pull him in tighter and he kisses my temple.

"This is the Scott McCall I remember," I mumble over his shoulder.

He breaks the hug to look at me with a confused brow.

"The lovable younger brother that used to smother me with hugs whenever I visited."

"I'm sorry Haldey… my moods have been all over the place since, um, the thing happened to me."

"The werewolf thing?"

He snaps his head towards the door in a panic. As if someone is there. I roll my eyes at his paranoia.

"Calm down asshat. I wouldn't say it if someone was there."

"I didn't mean to be so…"

"It's okay," I tell him curtly. "We make mistakes. Sometimes we say the meanest things to those that mean the most to us."

Mom comes back into the room with a soft smile. "Ultrasound in an hour."

I'm not prepared for this.

My ultrasound doesn't make anything better. If anything it makes it more real.

"This right here it the uterus. Right here-" she motion to a black blob, I swear there's nothing there. How in the hell do they even tell the difference? It's all blobs! "-this is the gestation sac. And right here-" she motions to a gray splat. "-this is your baby."

"Are you sure? It kinda looks like a peanut."

The middle-aged nurse chuckles. "Not a peanut hun. That's a baby. Typically the baby is around seven to eight weeks at this stage."

"Is it okay? Like, it's alive?" I ask nervously.

She smiles. "It is very much alive."

"Woah…" my eyes bore at the screen with shock. It survived. After everything I put it through it is still living. "When can I find out it's gender?"

"Typically sixteen to twenty weeks in."

The ultrasound is done. They use a wheelchair to push my back into my room in the hospital. Soon I have a copy of the ultrasound in my hands and an appointment scheduled nine weeks from now.

Scott is peering over my shoulder staring at the picture with wide eyes. "Um, what part is the baby?"

"That blob," I point to the gray smudge. "Doesn't it look like a peanut?"

"It does look like a peanut."

"Is it a boy?" he asks.

"They won't know until my next appointment."

Scott shrugs. "I think it's a boy."

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't know. Just a feeling," he says.

"Think it has something to do with your wolf-y senses?"

"I don't know…"

My hand presses to my stomach in awe. There's something growing in there. Creepy.

"Okay. You made your point."

Scott appears satisfied as the white pills whirl down the toilet. The loud sound of the flushing porcelain doesn't distract me from catching the look of pure joy on his face. My stomach tightens and I place a soft hand over my abdomen. I'm now allowed to take pain killers during my pregnancy or my Vivaynse (of course). It's about time to kick the habit anyway.

"No more pills," I declare with a grin.

Scott brings me into a hug and kisses my temple. He guides me to my bedroom and all but forces me into the bed with gentle urgency.

"You know you're not supposed to be moving around much," he tells me in a pointed tone. "Doctors orders."

"Ugh. I'm so bored. What are you doing tonight anyway?"

"Hanging out with Stiles."

"Ughhhh…"

"Do you want to hang out with us?"

I blink at him. "No thanks."

"Are you sure? We are going to the skating rink with Lydia and Allison?"

"You're seriously inviting me on a double date right after you yelled at me for moving around too much?" I ask with a raised brow.

He winces. "I suppose you're right."

I roll my eyes. "Look. I'm just going to go through those pamphlets Mom gave me on NA."

Scott gives me an encouraging thumb up. "We should discuss it when I get home, with Mom."

"Sure."

He purses his lips. "You know, I'm not very good at this whole werewolf thing… but I can pick up on stuff that I never was able to before. Like what certain smells mean or if someone is excited or panicked because of their heartbeat."

My brows furrow in confusion at where he is going with this. "And?"

"And I know this isn't how you wanted things to go. With the baby and… and Derek," Scott cringes at the wolf's name as if spoken it will summon him. I wish it did. "But ever since you found out it's kinda like your excited for it."

"Would you rather I be miserable and be looking over abortion pamphlets instead?"

His eyes go as large as saucers. "NO! That's not what I meant. Haldey-"

"-I'm just shitting with you Scott," I cut him off with a laugh. "No, I get it. You expected me to want to get an abortion, right?"

He shrugs. "Yeah… I mean, I don't want you to, but I kinda thought that would be the more predictable action from you."

"Maybe I'm tired of being that person. Maybe I just want to…"

"Just want to what?" he presses.

"I don't know. Live? Make someone happy?"

"Yeah?"

"It's crazy isn't it? Me? Make someone happy? This kid is going to hate me." My palm rubs at the still flat stomach. "It's going to wonder why their daddy isn't in their life and I'm going to look like a fucking lunatic when I have to explain it might be a werewolf."

"Haldey, you make people happy."

"Oh yeah? Like who."

Scott hesitates and I exhale sharply as if his slow reaction is enough evidence on that case. "Mom and me."

"I make you happy? Yeah? What a joke."

He plops on the edge of my bed and takes my free hand in his. "I'm sorry," he tells me with a frown. "I know you think the way I was acting was because of you, but it wasn't. I was being a shitty brother and taking my problems out on you. I do really care about you, you're my sister. I love you."

"I love you, too." I ruffle his hair to dissuade from the intense bonding moment. "Go get ready for your date. You kinda smell bad."

Scott scowls at me, but leaves quickly. I hear him yell out a loud "Bye!" before he darts out of the house a few minutes later. It's the first time Mom and Scott are leaving me home alone since my return from the hospital. Hence Scott using his wolf powers to sniff out all my drugs and flush them down the toilet before doing so.

Sticking true to my word, I pick up the pamphlet (did I say pamphlet? I mean small child in the form of monstrous papers) on NA:

'As the founders of Narcotics Anonymous adapted our steps, they came up with a "tenstrike" of perhaps equal importance. Rather than converting the First Step in a natural, logical way ("we admitted that we were powerless over drugs..."), they made a radical change in that step. They wrote, "We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction..." Drugs are a varied group of substances, the use of any of which is but a symptom of our disease. When addicts gather and focus on drugs, they are usually focusing on their differences, because each of us used a different drug or combination of drugs. The one thing that we all share is the disease of addiction. With that single turn of a phrase, the foundation of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship was laid.'

Fuck this is boring. Okay, so I won't read the book. But I'll go to the classes. At least one. I promised myself I will go to the initiation, and then take it from there. It's free and will make Mom and Scott feel better.

My thoughts somehow find themselves on Derek (surprise, surprise). My current inner dilemma with him is how I intend to inform him of said baby growing in my belly. How do you approach your ex about something like that? Let alone you're not ex-boyfriend (because that implies you were both in an actual relationship)?

I don't even know how to get in contact with Derek. It's not like I know his current residence. Scott said he moved and didn't tell him where he is staying now (not sure if this is true because it's my brother). He doesn't have a phone (so Scott claims). And the only person I know that can tell him probably won't actually tell him (hello, it's Scott).

Except… the blonde bitch Erica that goes to school with Scott! Okay - I should really stop calling her the blonde bitch, it is not confirmed that she has done anything traitorous (yet). I know what she looks like. I can always stop her at the school and ask her to give Derek a letter for me. Beta's have to update their alpha's on pack information, right? Err.

Whatever.

Going into Scott's bedroom I find his yearbook from last year. I decide to check out my brother's year since he knew her by first name basis. The first few times I check to match the picture with the name I miss Erica Reyes. Mostly because the girl looks almost nothing like the girl I saw with Derek the other day. This girl has bags under her big brown eyes, a nasty case of acne, and her blonde hair limp at in a ponytail. But this is definitely the girl.

I then look up Isaac Lahey. He's got lightish brown hair and these big innocent blue eyes. If his case is anything like Erica's I'm not sure if he will look different. Is it like some Twilight shit? Everyone gets beautiful and sparkles in the fucking moonlight?

At least I know two faces I can look for. Maybe I can find their lockers…

I set out writing Derek a message explaining the situation. I'm not sure how to put my thoughts into words. Grabbing a piece of paper I go to my desk to begin writing a letter. I mean, composing (sounds so much fancier).

Dear Derek…

Go fuck yourself.

With an eye roll I crumble up the paper and grab a blank sheet.

I'm not sure how to put this into words, but I don't have any other option than to try and contact you this way. I don't know where you live, your phone number, or anything really. I mean, do I even really know you? Anyways. This is important. I -

Discovered? Found out? Happened upon? Overdosed on some pills and told I am pregnant?

am pregnant. It's yours, obviously. Just wanted to let you know you're going to be a dad… surprise?

Halden.

Right. My eyes find a copy of the ultrasound photo. It shows the little peanut (a.k.a. the gray smudge). I figure it will be nice physical evidence. And maybe he might want it.

All I know is I'm going to be a huge creep and stake out the school until I see Erica tomorrow.

"Hey! Erica!"

I'm tailing the back of who I'm hoping is Erica. All I can really see is long blonde hair, black leather pants and matching stilettos. When she does not respond I reach out a hand to grab her shoulder. The long curly locks sway fiercely as she spins on her heel.

For a moment I think I might have been following the wrong girl. But I catch sight of her big chocolate eyes, and the smug smirk that falls on her painted crimson lips, as she takes in the oversized lacrosse jersey that I stole - correction "borrowed" - from Scott and baggy gray sweats I'm wearing.

"Hey," I repeat a little more firmly now that she's meeting my stare.

Erica twirls a strand of hair around her finger. I follow her hair until it splays out across her leather clad shoulders. It's not hard to miss the ample amount of cleavage exposed through the violet corset tucked into her black leather pants. She's hot in that dangerous kinda way and maybe that's why I can picture Derek with her. After all, he was screwing me.

"Who are you?" she asks me with a grin.

"Halden."

"Halden…?"

"McCall."

"Oh." She raises her brows and the look on her face is as if this piece of information is the juiciest gossip. "You're Scott's sister?"

"Yes."

"That explains how you know Derek…" Erica winks. "Or maybe you know him from somewhere else…?"

"No."

Erica's smirk is a full out shit-eating-grin at this point. Dammit. Scott told me about the lying thing…

"No? I've heard about you… Some guys refer to McCall as that slutty girls younger brother."

I raise a brow unimpressed, but not surprised. "Really? I was here for like one year. And I had sex with like four people."

Erica gaps at me, "Four?"

"Yeah," I admit with a shrug. "So? I've had sex with more than that now."

"That's a lot of people…" she says almost in astonishment.

"Look. I'm not here to educate you on my sex life. I need you to give this to Derek." I hand her the sealed envelope containing the ultrasound and letter. "A.S.A.P."

"And why should I give this to Derek?"

"Because he will be pissed off if you don't and he finds out you didn't," I tell her irritably.

"How would he find out I didn't?" Erica presses.

I pinch the bridge of my nose tiredly. "Yeah. Not in the mood to deal with this. Give him the damn letter. And if you open it I swear to god I'll shove wolfsbane up your ass."

I turn on my feet and quickly leave the school. Mom and Scott don't know I'm out driving around. They would both be furious.

A few hours later and I get one of the most terrifying phone calls of my entire life.

"Hey Scott, what's up?" I ask distractedly as I pause my reading through some of the handouts I printed up on the 12 steps to recovery.

"H-Haldey, can… can you come-" there's a choked cough, "-get me?"

Slowly I lower the piece of paper to the bed. "Are you okay?"

"N-no."

Standing, I start to slide on socks and shoes. "What happened?"

"Derek. L-long story. I'm at the ice rink on 95th by the school."

"Should I call an ambulance?"

He groans, "No. Just hurry."

I check on Mom to make sure she's not home, which she's still at work, and then I scramble out to the car. I break speed limits in order to reach the ice rink.

Scott outside of the building slumped on the sidewalk when I roll out front. My car screeches to an abrupt stop as I shift it into park and dart out of the car. My brother whines as I wrap my arm around his waist and help him to the car.

"Where is Stiles?" I question knowing that his partner in crime should be here or somewhere nearby.

"He isn't answering his phone," he pants.

Instantly I'm frustrated and worried for the hyperactive kid. "Is he okay?"

"Should be fine. I sent him to Boyd's and everyone was here, so… we should go to the vet's."

"The vet's?"

"Yeah… they have supplies for stitches. You're gonna have to stitch up my stomach," he tells me with a grimace. "It's not healing."

I nod and head in the direction of the veterinary office. Mom taught Scott and I basic first aid while growing up so I'm not too freaked out at the idea. Plus, Jacob and I had a terrible tendency of walking home drunk and high, which tends to leave nasty bruises and shit.

Scott takes out his work key and we manage to get him inside. He lifts up his shirt to exposing the long claw marks across his stomach.

"Derek did that to you?" I ask angrily.

Scott nods. "Yes."

My lips pinch together. Oh hell, next time I see that freaking werewolf I'll shoot his face in with silver bullets. Is that a thing? I really need to get the werewolf 411… And did he seriously hurt my baby brother?

Ohhh. I can kill a man.

Instead of killing anyone right now, I motion to his wound with concern. "Why isn't it healing? I thought you said you can heal?"

"Because it's from an alpha." I jump out of my skin at the sudden voice coming from down the hall. The light flicks on and a tall man with mocha skin appears in the doorway. His eyes narrow at my brother worriedly. "I think maybe we better have that talk now."

"Who the hell are you?" I snap. Because the clinic is supposed to be closed. Who is this guy?

"My name is Dr. Deaton. This is my clinic," he says slowly. "I think it should be me asking who you are?"

Scott steps in with a wince. "This is my sister, Halden, and this is my boss."

"Hey," I wave.

Deaton ushers us into the room. All is calm until there's a freaking body. A dead body. Not alive. With claw marks running down his abs. I scream. The doctor only cringes at the high-pitched volume.

"They're coming back, so we don't have much time to talk," he tells us while he starts gathering supplies to clean Scott's wounds.

When Deaton goes to dab a clear liquid on Scott's wounds he pulls back to question the man with accusatory eyes, "What is that?"

"Rubbing alcohol. You don't want it to get infected, do you? You will heal the same, just not as quickly, because of Derek."

"Okay, how do you know all this? Actually, how-how do you know anything?"

"It's a longer story. What I can tell you, is that I know about your kind. Your kind? I can help. This-" he points to the body on the table. "This is something different."

"Well, do you know what did it?"

"No. But the Argents will. And this is the crucial part, they'll have a record or book. It'll have descriptions, histories, notations, of all the things that they've discovered."

"All the things? How many different things are there?"

Ding.

Deaton shushes us and motions for us to go into a back room. The door closes behind us an Scott places a finger against his lips.

"I'm starting to think I need to buy a more prominent "closed" sign," Deaton says to whoever enters the clinic.

A elderly male voice greets, "Hello, Alan. It's been a while. The last I heard, you had retired."

"Last I heard you followed a code of conduct."

Another voice joins in, "If you hadn't noticed, this body is one of ours."

"I did, I also noticed the gunpowder residue on his finger tips. So don't assume I will be swayed by your philosophy just 'cause I'll answer a few questions."

Oh snap.

"He was only twenty-four," the guy defends.

"Killers come in all ages."

"All ages, sizes, shapes. It's the last one that concerns us," grandpa (the old guy) says.

"How about you tell us what you found?"

"See this cut? Precise. Almost surgical. This isn't the wound that killed him. This had a more interesting purpose."

"Relating to the spine."

"That's right. Whatever made this cut, it's laced with a paralytic toxin, potent enough to disable all motor functions. These are the cause of death. Notice the patterns on each side."

"Five for each finger," the younger one says.

Gramps corrects, "Each claw."

"As you can see, it dug in, slashed upward, eviscerating the lungs and slicing through the bone of the rib cage with ease."

"Have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"No," Deaton admits.

"Any idea at all what killed him?"

"No."

Seriously? I thought these were the ones that were supposed to know what that thing was!

"But I can tell you it's fast, remarkably strong, and has the capacity to render its victims essentially helpless within seconds."

"If you're saying we should be cautious? We get it."

"I'm saying you should be afraid. Be very afraid. Because in the natural world, predators with paralytic toxins use them to catch and eat their prey. This prey wasn't eaten. That means whatever killed him only wanted to kill him. In fact, killing may be its only purpose."

Great. So, now Scott is involved with this? Can't the kid catch a break?

Whoever those men are leave with the body. Apparently they don't know shit about what the creature is at this time. Therefore, utterly useless and wasting my life.

Deaton does a double-check on Scott's wounds. He tells him with a grim look. "That warning goes for you as well… there is something out there and it's not hunting for prey, it's killing with a purpose."

"Hopefully we aren't their purpose then," I say with a frown.

"Try and get yourself some rest. Healing from an alpha is quite tasking on the body," Deaton advices Scott.

My fingertips tap my belly nervously. "So… you know about werewolves?"

The doctor's head snaps up to look at me cautiously. "I am aware of the supernatural, yes."

"Umm…" I bite my lip. "Have you ever had to deal with a werewolf baby?"

Deaton glances at me then Scott. "I've dealt with many supernatural children in my day."

"Any advice?" I rub my stomach and his chocolate eyes fall to the motion.

"Oh," Deaton nods understandingly. "How far along are you?"

"About eight weeks," I say.

"Well, most pregnancies involving werewolves are typically the same as humans. Sometimes they can be a little faster than humans by a couple months-"

"-a couple months? I'm planning on nine. I need nine."

Deaton stifles a laugh at my panicked tone. "Well, realistically, that's not always the case. They tend to develop faster. Most werewolves do not start shifting until they hit puberty."

"Great. At least I won't have to immediately start worrying about when my small child is going to rip out my throat," I mutter irritably.

"Born wolves typically have more control than those that are turned…" Deaton's eyes drift to Scott. "With proper training and guidance your child shouldn't try to rip out your throat."

"Awesome…"

"If you need anything, Halden, please come see me. Especially if you find yourself with any problems that might not fall under the category of normal," he tells me with a smile.

We both thank him for his help. Even if I feel like the man is being a tad too cryptic for someone who claims to "want to help." Whatever.

Our way home is already tense. It starts to rain and I groan at the burden of walking through it to get inside the house. I just want to lay down and sleep until the end of time. My back hurts.

"So…" Scott says as he stares pointedly out the window to avoid my stare at the side of his face. "Are you going to tell Derek about the baby?"

"I gave Erica a letter for him with the ultrasound photo. So, whenever she gives it to him he will know."

He whips his head towards me. "What? When?"

"Earlier today actually…"

"Great," he sighs. There is a few moments of silence before he turns his body to face me. "You know you don't need him, right?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Even if Derek does want to be a part of the baby's life that doesn't mean you need him."

I shrug.

"I'll admit to you-and only you-" I receive a pointed glare. "-that Derek isn't as terrible as I thought he was. So, he might not have murdered his sister and I put the blame on him for a lot of things that weren't his fault, but he's still not amazing either. I think you're amazing. You don't need to settle for a guy that tolerates you. I was raised with practically no father, and look at me."

My stare is blank as I glance at him. "You're a werewolf Scott."

"That's not relevant. That'll most likely not happen to your… oh yeah."

"Oh yeah? It's going to most likely be born one? So, OH YEAH."

Scott ignores my cutting tone and tells me sweetly, "I can help teach the baby. Got it? So, if Derek decides not to be in the picture or ends up being a shitty dad, that doesn't mean you have to stay with him."

"How do you know?"

He frowns. "Know what?"

"Exactly what I'll end up doing if Derek wants to be a part of it's life." Nervously I start to pick at the string hanging from the cover on the steering wheel. "That I'll run to him and forgive him without a second thought."

"Because you're my sister and I know you."

"What if I… what if nobody ever wants me again because I have a baby?"

He groans, "Shut up. You're my sister. You're amazing. Someone is going to love you someday. You deserve it."

"I don't deserve for someone to love me."

"Yes you do."

I snap angrily, "You don't get it!"

"Then explain it to me!"

The brief surge of anger simmers into the pathetic grief I've been trying to ignore since the car accident. "Fine…" I start in a whisper. My hands clench tightly at my side. "I killed a little boy."

Scott blanches, "What?!"

"The car accident with Jacob. We were super high and drunk. I passed out in the passenger seat and Jacob wanted to drive us home from this club. We crashed into a family and we killed a four-year-old boy"

"But you were asleep…" Scott points out.

"I didn't stop him. I didn't even ask him to. He said he was going to take us home and I didn't… I never cared if I died, but I never wanted anyone else to die."

Scott shakes his head. "Please don't think like that."

"Think like what?"

"It's not your fault, Haldey. Sometimes things happen that you can't predict or prevent from happening. But one thing is for certain…"

"What?"

"You're alive. Stop pretending you're dead."

Our two story home comes into sight. I feel nauseated and stressed from our current conversation. It's enlightening, but too much all at once. I don't want to think about it more than I need to. I don't want to let it fester and become something it's not. Something that will make me want to ease the pain with a pill.

"Shit," Scott mumbles as he glances at his phone.

"What?" I ask parking the car in front of our yard on the street.

"Stiles just texted me. Had to get his car towed because Erica ripped the starter out of his car," he explains with a sigh. "And she threw him in a garbage!"

"She did what now?"

Erica. The same girl I gave a letter to in confidence that she would share it with Derek. Somehow she tossed Stiles in a garbage. Greattttt.

The next minute I am hit with big puppy eyes. I already know from the look on my younger siblings face he's going to ask me something that I usually say no to. "Can I ask for a huge favor?"

"Yes… you can borrow the car," I grumble. I leave the key in the ignition as I scoot out of the drivers seat. "Because I'm not driving you to his house. My stomach kinda aches and I want bed, like now."

"Good. You need rest," he says as he jumps around the car to get to the drivers side. "And thank you so much! I just need to make sure he's okay and fill him in on all the Derek shit."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just don't crash it."

"Get some rest. I'm going to check up on you when I get home to make sure you're okay."

I just give him a passive wave as I skip up the front steps. Mom's car isn't around so she must still be at work. Damn, I feel like I haven't seen her in days! Although, when she is home she smothers me with nurse-y wisdom about my health concerning the baby.

The lights are all out downstairs and I quickly dart up the staircase. So lately I've been a little bit afraid of the dark. It might have something to do with the crazy supernatural shit that's started happening since I came back to Beacon Hills.

It doesn't help that the second I open my bedroom door a voice demands gruffly, "What is this?"

The scream that escapes me is worse than the one Deaton and Scott witnessed earlier. This is one that is used in near death situations. Like the one I think I might currently be in.

Until a lamp flickers on and I see an alarmingly familiar stocky build. My heart hammers in my chest loudly as I take in the black leather jacket, navy blue henley, washed out black jeans, and the ultrasound photo clutched loosely in his large fist.

"Oh great! She gave it to you," I mutter to myself, because I really didn't think Erica was going to give it to him, even with the empty threat I gave her.

"That's all you have to say?" Derek growls. He takes a few steps towards me and his piercing eyes are narrow with irritation.

Anger seeps through me at his tone. "What do you want me to say? I haven't seen you in weeks, Derek."

He doesn't respond. Instead he runs a hand through his raven hair making it stand up all over his head like he was struck by lightening.

"It's not like I had a way to contact you. You've given me nothing to work with. I just wanted you to know incase you wanted to be a part of their life. I won't… I won't take that choice away from you," I tell him seriously. "But I also won't let you be like my father. If you want to be in their life, fine, but that doesn't include me. I won't waste my life like my mom did fighting for someone who wasn't there to begin with. I'm done with guys like you. It's not just my life anymore…" my fingers curl over my queasy stomach protectively. "And I won't let you abandon them! You're either their for them one hundred percent or not at all. Got it?"

Derek throws his hands out angrily. "Of course I want to be a part of their life!"

"I'm sorry? I wasn't aware that you were suddenly all gung-ho about having a freaking child. Excuse me for thinking that you would abandon the child just like you abandoned me."

"I did not abandon you," Derek states pointedly. "You told me not to contact you. So, I respected your wishes and kept my distance-"

"-oh, so now you respect me?" I counter with an eye roll.

"I have always respected you!"

I laugh. "Right? Like how you respected me when you knew the location of the alpha, and instead of telling Kate you let her beat the shit out of me. Would it have made a difference knowing I was carrying your child?"

"I didn't say anything because if I had she would have killed you. You would have been useless to her," he grits out. "And of course it would have made a difference! It's mine, right?"

"Yes it's fucking yours, you asshole!"

"I am sorry, Halden, I'm really fucking sorry," Derek says with a sharp edge to each word.. "Yes, I started talking to you to get to Scott. No, I didn't sleep with you to get to Scott. I had sex with you because I like you."

"Sure. So, what's the deal with Erica then?"

Derek pinches the bridge of his nose. "Nothing. She's sixteen."

"It's not like you don't have a criminal record…"

"I'm not a pedophile," he spits out.

"That's reassuring."

He scoffs, but doesn't say anything else.

"AND you decided to attack my brother today! What the hell is that Derek?" I shake my head. "He called me to get him so I could give him stitches because you attacked him."

"In my defense-"

"-I don't care about whatever excuse you have planned out for me. Dammit Derek. That's my brother. He's one of the only people I have. Imagine if that…" was your sister. Thankfully I cut myself off before I can finish my sentence. Because even if I'm angry, I'm not that cruel.

His shoulders tighten.

"Look, right now you're not my biggest problem. One of them? Definitely. Top three? Hell yes. But I have a baby growing inside of my body and I-I almost killed them. My main priority is getting myself clean in order to protect this baby from me. This right here-" I motion to the space between us. "- is stressing me out. I'm not supposed to be stressed. Do you know what stress does to pregnant women and their babies? Not good things."

Derek's eyes are wide and holds out his hands in a calming manner. His tone is questionable a he tries to speak gently, "Stop?"

"You're trying to stop what exactly?"

He shrugs a muscled shoulder. "The stress?"

"Saying 'stop' doesn't stop stress," I inform him highly unimpressed by his calming technique. Seriously? Is this how he plans to calm this baby down once it starts crying?

Derek throws his arms up in an 'I'm done' gesture. I cross my arms and decide to fix myself comfortably on the bed.

"Okay. Sorry, I'm sorry." I press a hand to my forehead tiredly. "I'm not usually so… hostile." Which is true. In most cases I'm extremely passive when it comes to guys specifically. It's not like I meant anything to Derek (so he claims to have liked me). "I'm just stressed, exhausted, and I've been feeling so nauseated lately." And you're here is left unsaid, but heavily implied by the glare I shoot him.

He hovers near the edge of the bed unsure if he should sit or not. I roll my eyes at his hesitance and pat the spot beside me. Derek does instantly.

"So…" I shrug, pretending not to notice the way my arm prickles as it brushes against Derek's leather jacket. "You want to be involved in it's life?"

"Yes," he tells me forcefully. He opens his mouth to say something, but clamps it shut and shakes his head to stop himself.

"Just say it."

He raises a brow.

"Derek, I know you. I know when you're holding yourself back from saying something. Just say it."

"Werewolves share very strong bonds with their children."

And just like that my heart starts to speed up again as my thoughts spiral out of control.

"Did you get me pregnant on purpose?"

Derek turns to me with confusion. "What?"

"You heard me. Did you purposely knock me up? Did you do this to cement the fact Scott would have to join your pack if you got me pregnant?"

He stands abruptly and rounds on me with crimson eyes. "No. I did not."

"How can I believe you?" I whisper with a frown.

Running a hand through his hair, he looks down at me with sad eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know… It's like. You're here, and I see you and all I want to do is kiss you. Then some other huge part of me really wants to beat your face in."

"I like the first part," he says.

"Why do I still want you when all you've done is lie and hurt me?"

Derek reaches out a hand for me and I don't back away. Who am I kidding? The moment he stepped into my life I knew there was no turning back. His fingers push mine apart until the palm of his hand caresses the back of mine.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right now, but I am sorry. I do care about you, Halden. I swear to you that I want this, and you."

I take in a few shaky breaths to try and wrap my thoughts around what he just admitted.

"Here." Derek takes my hand and holds it up to his neck. I feel the beat of his heart thump through the buds of my fingertips. "Feel the pattern?" He asks. When I nod he continues, "If I'm lying my heartbeat will become irregular. Understand?" I nod. "Halden McCall. I am so sorry for what I did to you. I want this, you and the baby."

There's a long pause. I think back to Scott and his blind faith that I deserve something better. But it's not me who deserves better, it's this baby.

"We should talk more soon… about the baby. Um, I can come visit you're… wherever you're staying. We can discuss doctor appointments, werewolf shit, and all that other stuff that goes with having a baby," I decide to say. "I think for now we need to be alone. I mean… it's not like we were ever exclusive or anything before anyway. So… I don't think we should be together."

Derek nods slowly. His hand slowly leaves mine and I fight myself to pull him into my grip to hug him senseless. He's got this dejected stare in his soft green eyes that I want to smooth away. It's not fair that he can be so sad about this. He's not allowed to be sad about this. He isn't supposed to care about me, he never was. None of this was ever meant to happen.

Yet it is.

I received all my info on NA (Narcotics Anonymous) from the official government website NA dot ORG. The quote is directly from the website and was not written even slightly by me! Sooooo. I don't own it, but it's public awareness? IDK. Disclaimer: Do Not Own? I don't make money off this anyway?

WOW. LONG ass chapter guys. This was actually supposed to be two different chapters. The reason I decided to put it all in one is that I've noticed the lack of reviews for the last couple chapters! I know people get bored of the angst and waiting for two people to rekindle their relationship. Although they aren't back together, they are getting there :) PLUS chapter 20 will have smut again! Woot woot for those smut lovers.

High Guardian: thanks so much! and yeah, Scott is a very difficult character to like. I've grown to love him, but I can definitely understand why he isn't the most liked character on the show. And Derek is definitely messed up in the head haha.

meangrl8: here ya go :)

Littlevbigdreams: i'm glad you liked the previous chapter! hopefully this cliffhanger isn't as troubling as the previous one haha

WickedlyMinx: I 3 YOU!

Lola Tudor: I think Scott & Melissa took the news about the baby very well! Although, Stiles is gonna have a bit of a freak out when he learns of it.

Gr Is Law: thank you so much for thinking it was brilliant hehe! There will be some Derek loving very, very soon!

megladon1616: I AM so SORRY for taking so long!

Cassie-D1: THANKSSS :D

What gender do you guys think the baby will be?