Hey everyone. I'm not going to put spoilers this time, because I don't have time to think of them. Lol. But a big thanks to Remedy for helping with the Naitlyn-ness. And thanks to Dracos-Slytherian-Goddess for looking over this. I hate these multicouple focused chapters. They always feel really choppy to me. And of course thanks to Allison for just being herself and keeping me sane. And Remedy keeps me sane, too. Anywho, no one hate me for the break-up. It was needed. And yes, my blog says there will be janastasia baby, but this is me. Who said that they had to be together to have a baby? Hmmm? I now have to go do hw I didn't realize I had due tomorrow. See what my priorities are? Lol.

Chapter 35:

Anastasia's face faltered completely. I think that was the moment that she completely broke inside, because she didn't even bother to try to hold back the sob that ripped through her. Caitlyn and I attempted to make our way into the kitchen, but the boys held us back.

"Let him explain." Nate advised. "This is Jason, so… he wouldn't say no without a reason."

We huffed but waited for Jason to explain.

"So, is this it, are we over?" Anastasia asked in a shaky voice. It was hard to watch this scene. Jason looked torn, as he wanted so badly to hold her and make her stop crying, but also needing to stand his ground.

"Stas…" He sighed. "You don't want to get married like this. I don't want to get married like this. I mean, if you said to me on a normal day, hey let's get married, I'd say, tell your family to be on the next flight in. But, not like this."

"I just want you to understand what I'm feeling here, Jay." She replied.

"I know that. But, as a friend, I can't let you do this. I can't let you make a rash decision because you're desperate to make someone understand something." Jason replied softer, some of his edge ebbing away.

"Friend? So it is over…" She sniffled as more tears came.

"No, we aren't over." He said calmly. Her bleary eyes shot to his. "I never had the intention of breaking up with you, Stas. I just… I need you to understand what you've put me through." He cast a weary look at us, shamelessly watching. "Let's go somewhere actually private and talk this out, okay?" He offered.

She nodded shakily and handed her keys to him. The two left, not saying a word to the rest of us. I sighed. "At least they aren't breaking up."

"Yeah. So, now that we're done being noisy, let's go upstairs." Shane said, already leading me there.

"And why is that, Mr. Grey?" I asked coyly, with an eyebrow raised.

He smiled. "Because I want to hold you, my dear Mrs. Grey." He teased. I grinned back at him as we headed up. We neared Nicky's room when I heard a long sigh. I looked over at Shane and stopped to listen.

"Ki… we need to talk." Riley started. Nicky said nothing, so Riley kept speaking. "I can't do this. You can't do this. I know you can't handle the distance and the press and what not. Maybe we need to go our own ways for awhile. You're only 16 and you're not famous. You deserve to enjoy your life. Get a real boyfriend who can be there 24-7 and be normal. Who knows, maybe someday we'll find our way back to each other. But, they say if you love something let it go. I need to let you go. I need to let you live your life. I was talking to Shane about this, and he admitted that the guilt of everything Mitchie goes through because of him kills him inside. I can't be the reason your life is so tormented. If this is meant to be, it'll be. I just… need to walk away."

Surprisingly, Nicky's reaction was not the one expected of our drama queen. "I understand. Thank you. You're right. I don't think I can handle this and you shouldn't have to deal with the guilt of knowing that I can't."

"I'll always love you, Ki." Riley admitted softly.

"You'll always be my first love, Ley." She replied equally soft. "Can you, not leave yet though?" She asked. "Can we… just enjoy our last time together?"

"Whatever you want, Nicky." He replied.

I looked over at Shane who looked less than thrilled about having heard that conversation.

He tugged my hand to move me back down the hallway to his room. When he closed the door, Jacob jumped all over him. He never really left Shane's room except to eat. Shane ended up on the floor with Jacob licking him like crazy.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who missed you." I teased, petting Jacob while he attacked Shane.

"Yeah, I missed him, too." Shane laughed.

I moved up to the bed and Jacob followed. Shane shook his head as he pulled himself up on the bed as well. "So, you feel guilty?" I asked, referring to the conversation we'd over heard.

He sighed, running his fingers through my hair. "Yeah." He admitted. "You knew that."

"I know. I didn't think you'd openly admit it to anyone else." I replied,

"I don't. I'm ashamed of it." He replied. "I feel like a crappy husband because of the things you've been through because of me."

"You're not." I assured him, staring him deeply in the eyes. "You're an amazing husband. Given the circumstances." It was silent for a moment. "So, why'd you tell Riley?"

"Because I know Nicky, and I've gotten to know Riley. I didn't tell him to break up with her. I just honestly answered his question. Yes, I feel guilty over it. Yes, I hate knowing your problems are because of me. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm worth what I put you through." He explained.

I leaned in and kissed him softly. He moaned gently. "You're more than worth it, Shane." I replied against his lips. He didn't say anything back, he just kissed me slowly and sensually. The rest of the world faded away.

I woke up a little while later with Shane pressed into my back. Our clothes were on the floor, and Jacob was sleeping on top of the pile. I giggled softly at the sight. Shane's lips pressed into my bare shoulder.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Perfect. Have I mentioned how much I like being married?" I asked with a giddy smile.

He chuckled. "And here I thought it was because you loved me… nope you just wanted the sex." He teased.

I giggled. "No, but it is a nice perk." I yawned. "I should check on Nicky." commented.

He groaned. "But I want to hold you. I haven't been able to do that in weeks." He pouted at me as I climbed out the bed.

"You can hold me after I check on Nicky, promise." I kissed him and slipped on my shirt and his boxers. He groaned appreciatively as I left.

I made my way to Nicky's room, but Riley was still there. I smiled at them as I tiptoed back out. I was heading back to Shane's room when I heard a typical Nate-Caitlyn argument coming from the guest room. I was already way past my noisy quota for the day, but the partially opened door was entirely too tempting. I had to listen to their conversation.

"I don't understand what the problem is, Cait… why are you stressing so much?" The frustration in Nate's voice was more than evident.

"Because I'm worried about all of them, Nate. That's why." Caitlyn huffed in reply.

"They're all grown adults." Nate stated. "They can take care of themselves. And if they need help, they'll ask for it. You don't have turn into me because they're lives are a little dramatic." He slightly snapped.

"They can't ask for it! They're so caught up in their own worlds they don't notice the help being given! Stas is so confused and broken right now… it's upsetting to see someone so strong break like that." Caitlyn sighed. "And Mitchie? I don't even know where to start with her. I really hope Shane being home helps her and doesn't hurt her in the end when he leaves."

"You can't worry about all of that. You need to worry about you, Caity. I can see all of the stress this putting on you and I don't like it. I'm worried about you worrying about all of them." Nate insisted.

Caitlyn growled in frustration. "You don't get it, Nate! I'm the only one who's not caught up in my own world of drama. Mitchie's always the mother hen, but she can't be right now. She's the one that needs looking after!"

"Caity, you don't have to do this. Mitchie chooses to be the strong one. No one forces her. But you know, you don't have to do it alone. I'm here." Nate tried to reason, but his aggravation came through anyway.

"I do have to do this. I need to be the strong one for them." She argued relentlessly. I felt bad that she felt like this. I didn't mean to make her feel like that. Her voice cracked slightly at the end, alerting both Nate and myself that there was more to it.

"There's something bothering you. Aside from them." Nate pointed out. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." She dismissed it.

"Tell me." Nate insisted.

"No! It's stupid." She mumbled. It sounded as if she sniffled.

"Just tell me, please?" He was nearly begging.

"It's not as important as what's wrong with Stas and Mitchie. It's the least of my problems and worried." She attempted to assure him it was fine, that she was strong. Nate saw straight through it, knowing it was all an act.

"Caity…" Nate sighed. "No one told you, you had to be strong." He said softly, rubbing her arms comfortably.

"I want to be." She admitted brokenly.

"You don't have to be strong." He shook his head vehemently. "Not around me. I want to be strong for you. You're the only person I can be. I don't have a little sister or brother to depend on me, I don't have to worry about the guys anymore. You're the only person I have to worry about. Let me worry about you, please. If you need to break down, just… break down. You don't have to be strong for me. Be strong for everyone else if you need to. Let me hold you up when you get weak though."

"You just want to fill your hero complex." She replied, almost bitterly.

Nate shook his head. "Not at all. I have this overwhelming need to protect you from everything. I do not have a hero complex. I hate seeing people be weak because I don't know how to handle it. But you? I feel the need to take away everything that hurts you. It's not a hero complex… more like a… husband complex…" He admitted.

"A what?" She asked slightly startled. ( I LOVE THAT!! Just thought you would want a good comment)

"The thought of getting married always scared me. But, when I think about you… I don't fear it anymore. I'm not proposing, I promise. I just… I will. Eventually. When you're ready for it. I've just realized that I am, whenever you are." He sighed. "Shane getting married really opened mine and Jason's eyes. Marriage scared us, but now we see what it's like. And we've realized that… nothing's changed between them. They're just… happy."

"I'm not ready." She admitted.

"I know." He was quick to reassure her. "I just, want you to know that I am. And even thought we're only dating still, I want to be there for you the same way Shane is for Mitchie. I feel the same way about a lot of things he does. I just want to be there for you. That's all. You don't have to be strong around me."

"You don't either." She replied. "Unless, I… need you to be…" She whispered.

"And? Do you need me to be?" He asked. She nodded silently as tears slipped down her cheeks. "I love you, Caity."

"I love you, too, Nate." She replied, clinging to him slightly.

"Tell me what's wrong?" He requested one last time.

"I've never… had a family… not really. My parents were only around for 3 weeks during the summer. There's only so much family bounding that can be done in those three weeks between a single child and her parents. It scares me whenever something starts going wrong with the family I have now. Stas and Jason fighting, Shane and Mitchie fighting, you and I fighting. It gets to me. Especially Mitchie. She's like my sister. There's something wrong with her, more than separation anxiety. And I know there is. But she won't listen. She just keeps pushing it off. I'm worried about her. What if there's something really wrong with her, Nate?" Caitlyn voice was thick with the tears that were still falling.

I blinked back my own tears and felt my throat closed. I quietly slipped back to Shane's room, not wanting to listening to anymore. Shane could see something was wrong when I came back in.

He smiled brightly at me for a moment before his face changed. "Baby, you okay? What's wrong?" He asked.

"N-nothing. I'm gonna… call the doctor tomorrow. Can you take me on Saturday?" I asked as I crawled back into bed.

"Yeah. Sure. No problem." He said.

"You can hold me now." I said softly, a light teasing tone in my voice, but Shane could tell it wasn't completely sincere.

"Absolutely. And you can tell me what's wrong." He said, pulling me into his waiting arms., keeping me to him tightly.

"I overheard Cait talking to Nate." I said softly. "She's really worried about me."

"She's not the only one." He replied quietly.

"I know. That's why I'm going. When the two most important people in my life are that worried about me, well, it must be worse than I thought." I sighed.

He began stroking my hair with one hand while the other held the back of my neck, keeping me to him. He kissed my head once, but never said a word.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just… worried. Don't know what's wrong with you."

"Well, I'll find out on Saturday." I said, nestling in closer to his chest. "Hopefully."

"Yeah." He agreed softly. He held me for the rest of night we spent alone in bed. Well, Jacob was with us, but he just cuddled into Shane's leg and was content.

Surprisingly, we weren't going at it like crazy. There was more to our relationship than that. Our time was spent just cuddling and getting reacquainted after our separation from one another. Mostly, we just realized nothing had changed. The first time was the only time we had sex until after I went to the doctor's on Saturday. It was an in the moment intimate experience. Definitely not an I-haven't-gotten-any-in-three-months thing. Thursday was spent solely in our bed together, enjoying each other, but eventually our night did end.

Dad had driven up Shane's Mustang on Friday for the makeshift Thanksgiving we had that night. All was calm and everyone got along. It was nice to have the entire family there. Our family. Jason's, Nate's, Caitlyn's, and Anastasia's parents were all there as well. Did I mention that Jason and Anastasia came back Friday morning holding hands and smiling? Neither would tell us what occurred when they left. They just said they worked it out. Shane and Nate dropped Caitlyn and I off for class in the morning and picked us up after for dinner.

Saturday Morning, bright and early, Shane and I were sitting in a doctor's office, specifically in an examining room, waiting for the doctor.

"I'm scared." I said nervously, holding Shane's hand tightly in my grasp. He looked up at me from his chair next to the table and smiled.

"It'll be fine." He assured. "There's nothing wrong." He didn't seem as confident with his second statement.

"Ah, Mrs. Grey, nice to see you again." Dr. Masis said coming in. "And Shane! I haven't seen you since you were 15 I believe."

"Yeah, it's been a long time." Shane commented.

"Well, what brings you here today?" He asked me.

I sighed. "I still have a lot of the problems I had. But also, I've been… different for the last few months than I used to be."

"More like last year or more." Shane corrected.

I rolled my eyes slightly. "My friends and family are all worried because of it."

"Well, Mrs. Grey. There are two different things wrong with you. I believe anyway. I looked over your blood work we did for the pregnancy test, and noticed a hormonal imbalance, that wasn't anything major. But with a major shift in one direction or the other, it can really affect your moods." The doctor expressed. "That could be one reason for part of this."

"What could be causing a hormonal imbalance?" Shane asked.

"Mitchie, do you take your birth control as directed? Same time everyday? Never miss a day?" Dr. Masis asked.

"I forget some days." I admitted.

"Are these the days your mood swings are the worst?" He asked.

"Possibly. I honestly don't know." I shrugged.

"Well. I think, we're going to take you off of the birth control.( you mean the one she forgeting to take lol ) There are other options- but you also could just use a condom." I watched Shane make a face out of the corner of my eye. "But you don't seem to have the ability to remember the pills at the moment, given the stress of college and being away from your husband and all." I nodded. "Perhaps, next year, when you're more accustomed to the ways of college, we'll put you back on it. These things need to be taken as directed for a reason."

Shane cleared his throat slightly. "You said two reasons? And that the imbalance is only part of it?"

"Mitchie, I noticed in your record also, that you were on anti-depressants when you were in your early teens but your stopped taking them about 2 and half years ago. What were they prescribed for?" Dr. Masis asked.

I clutched Shane's hand tightly and glanced at him. His eyes narrowed slightly at me. "I was depressed because my best friend was beaten to death. I blamed myself for his death for a long time. I refused to take them after a while." I explained.

"Well, I'm going to refer that you see a psychiatrist and suggest you be put back on your anti-depressants. The hormonal imbalance, stress, and general life seem to be effecting you quite a bit. I'm afraid you're becoming depressed again. It's part of the reason I'm taking you off of the birth control. If you don't take them correctly, they're not going to help the anti-depressants correct the natural chemical imbalance." Dr. Masis explained.

"Oh." Was all I could say. Shane didn't say anything.

"Here you go." The doctor handed me a prescription with a referral on it. "Come back and see me in a few weeks and we'll do more blood work to check up on everything, okay?"

"Thanks." I said, standing up. Shane's hand immediately let go of mine to wrap around my waist. "Bye, Doctor Masis."

"Later." Shane offered as we left the room. As soon as we were in the car, Shane spoke to me. "You came off of them ( bcps or anti depression??) just before starting Camp Rock didn't you?" He wasn't looking at me, but my hand was grasped tightly in his.

"Yeah." I replied. "It was part of the reason my parents worked so hard to get me in."

He nodded and started the car. "Well, we know there's nothing too serious wrong. I mean, depression is serious, but… it's not some hidden disease." He explained.

"Yeah." I said again.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noting the tone of my voice.

I sniffled, trying to keep the tears from falling. "I thought I'd gotten over it. I thought I beat my depression."

"Shhh…. It's okay." He soothed, rubbing my knee as he drove us home.

I was hoping my life would get easier once I was back on the anti-depressants. Life was only about to get harder.

Pure bliss was getting unrealistic. Sorry guys. Riley-Nicky had to go. And relax, Janastasia will be together when they have a baby in AINE. Lol.