Hello darlings. I know, you guys want updates, but it's hard. I am in college. I apologize for having been so speedy with my updates with ATCR and LKG has now been lacking, but in all honesty, I never thought that ATCR would spawn into LKG and AINE (And It Never Ends - third story in this now series). Anywho, so college is… interesting. But, I'm trying to do work and still give you guys an update, so… it's a lot. Thank you to Dracos-Slytherian-Goddess for looking this over for me. Because my time is now so stretched and its taken me all week to get this written, I had her look it over. The fact that I'm sick just adds to my inability to edit properly. Well, I hope you like this chapter.
Chapter 36:
"Please, Shane?" I begged. We were arguing over the psychiatrist. I didn't want to go and he was forcing me.
"Mitchie." He sighed. "Please?" He asked exasperated. "This is for your own good."
"I hate them, Shane. All they do is go 'hmmm… and how do you feel about that?' Please don't make me go." I begged as much as I could. I was outside of the lady's office and did not want to go.
"Mitchie… what can I do to convince you to just go once? See if it's really as bad as you think?" Shane was trying his hardest with me, and I could see his patience thinning
"Come with me?" I suggested.
His eyebrows knitted as he looked at me in confusion. "I did." He replied.
I shook my head. "No, in with me. Like, when I'm talking to her. So you can see how painfully pointless it is."
He sighed once more. "I guess. If it's okay with the doctor."
I sighed contently. "Thank you." I kissed him once and let him drag me into the office.
"Michaela Grey." Shane told the receptionist. I smiled hearing my name; it never got old hearing it.
"Go right in, Mrs. Grey." She replied.
"Can he…" I trailed off.
"He can go in if you're uncomfortable, Mrs. Grey." I sighed in relief and dragged Shane with me.
"Dr. Toledo?" I asked as I entered. A small Hispanic woman greeted us with a huge smile.
"Michaela?" She asked.
"Mitchie, please. This is my husband, Shane." I introduced Shane.
"Very nice to meet you." Dr. Toledo shook but our hands. "Are you staying for the session, Mr. Grey?" We both nodded. "I'm not saying he can't be here, but I'm curious as to why." Dr. Toledo asked as she sat down behind her desk, gesturing for us to sit as well.
"I don't like members of your profession professionally." I explained.
"Ahh." She said nodding. "I understand. Now, your doctor suggested you to come see me. What do you think led him to that?"
"I haven't been 'myself'. It was a gradual decline since I came off of the anti-depressants the first time. I was happy and myself for most of the summer. Then I started to slip again I guess. I've been getting worse for roughly 2 years or so." I explained.
"2 years? And you're relapsing?" Dr. Toledo. "Depression that will relapse will usually occur within 6 months and rapidly. Do you think there might be a different cause for your depression?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea." I replied in all honesty.
"Well, tell me what happened in the first place that you were on the anti-depressants." Dr. Toledo suggested.
My hand was held tightly in Shane's at the moment, and I felt him give me a small squeeze of encouragement. "My best friend was beaten to death when I was 12. I blamed myself for a long time over it. I hallucinated, cut myself, and was generally withdrawn from others."
"When and why did you come off of them?" Dr. Toledo asked.
"I felt weak when I was on them. I felt like they were controlling me. I was determined to prove I was stronger than that. That I was as strong as Sierra." I explained. Shane squeezed my hand again.
"And Sierra is?" She asked.
"My other best friend. Who was also best friends with Justin, the one who was killed." I answered.
The never ending questions continued. Dr. Toledo asked, "And what happened when you came off of them?"
"I was fine. Until-" I stumbled. Maybe Shane coming in with me wasn't the best idea. I looked at him and watched his eyes darken with realization.
"Until Beach Jam." He said in a soft voice. I nodded weakly.
"I'd lied to the entire Camp about my mother, and ended up being exposed about it. Shane and I had gotten really close and he was devastated when Tess ousted me to everyone. He wouldn't let me explain." I explained. I felt his grip on my hand tighten.
"You seem to have overcome that though." Dr. Toledo said. "Anything else major occur?" I shrugged.
"I don't honestly know what you would classify as major." I replied.
"Hmmm… Mitchie, I want you to do me a favor for next time. Sit down and write every memory that comes to mind in the last 2 and half years that took place after what we discuss today." Dr. Toledo stated.
"Okay." I agreed.
Two hours later, Shane and I were back in the car, on our way back to my dorm. It was a Thursday afternoon and I had classes after all.
"Shane…" I sighed. "Talk to me." I begged. He'd been silent most of the ride so far.
"About what?" He asked dejectedly. "The fact that I'm cause of all of your problems? As always?"
"Don't say it like that!" I cried. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. Everything you've mentioned so far… was my fault in someway." He argued.
"Shane… don't be like this." I begged. "Please, I can't handle you blaming yourself. That just makes me feel guilty which makes you feel more guilty which makes me feel guiltier. It's a never ending cycle. So just… stop it."
He sighed in frustration. "Fine. I'm sorry."
"I know. Just, don't shut me out because of your unneeded guilt. Help me." I spoke softly. He nodded, grabbing my hand lightly and bringing it to his lips.
"I love you." He said as he let my hand fall back into my lap. His hand found its place on my knee, rubbing small circles into it.
"I know." I smiled at him. He half smiled, but it was on the happier half of a smile.
When we got back to campus, I dragged Shane upstairs with me. He didn't protest and followed quietly. He was dropping me off for the night since I did still have classes to attend in the morning.
When I opened the door, I did not expect to find a half-naked Caitlyn underneath a mostly naked Nate.
"Shit!" Nate swore, jumping off of Caitlyn and quickly pulling on his jeans.
"Dude." Shane looked at Nate trying his best not to laugh. "You have a hotel room for the next 3 weeks. Why their dorm?"
Nate glared at Shane while he and Caitlyn continued to get dressed. I was too busy laughing at Caitlyn to care. "Maybe because we didn't plan it?" Nate shot back.
I sobered after a few moments of laughter. "Wait, what exactly were you two intending on doing?" I questioned with my hands on my hips. For a fleeting moment I felt like my mother and knew she'd be proud to see me acting like her.
"Um… we weren't intending…" Caitlyn answered, not looking at me.
"Try again, dear. Were you going to stop?" I asked.
"Um… maybe? You interrupted, how can we know for sure?" Nate asked. Next to me, Shane was almost doubled over from laughing at the situation.
"Have you ever gotten like this before and stopped?" Neither looked at me after I asked. "Exactly. You haven't. And the last time you did, you didn't stop." I smacked Nate in the back of the head. "You have a promise to keep." I laughed as he pouted and rubbed his head.
"Like you don't get frustrated." Caitlyn argued back.
I smiled. "I didn't yell at you." I replied giggling slightly. "He's the one who took a vow." I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Gee, thanks, Mitch." Nate mumbled while Caitlyn began giggling as well.
I suddenly took a large wiff of the room. "Wow, Nate, did you bath in your cologne?" I asked, smelling the overwhelming scent that was Nate in my bedroom. A fake coughed emphasized my point, so I thought.
The others gave me an odd look. "I can barely smell it and I've been with him all day." Caitlyn commented.
I shrugged. "Whichever. I'm tired." I laid down on my bed and pulled Shane with me.
He groaned. "My bed is comfier."
"Shut up." I pushed his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. I looked across the room at Nate and Caitlyn, who were cuddling as well. Nate was sitting up with Caitlyn laying against his chest.
"So how was the shrink?" Nate asked.
I sighed. "It was alright." I answered honestly.
Nate made a face, presumably at Shane, who I guessed was making faces behind me. "That's good, right?" Nate asked with a confused look.
"Yeah." I replied.
"Are you back on the anti-depressants?" Caitlyn asked.
"Yeah." I yawned. "I'm really tired, so night, night." I giggled softly as I rolled over to bury myself in Shane's chest. He laughed and held me to him.
I woke up awhile later to a note next to me. Hey baby. I had to get going and I didn't want to wake you. Call me if you want. Or I'll see you tomorrow for dinner. Love, Shane. I smiled as I rolled over to look at the clock. It was a little past 11 and I needed to finish homework. I'd call him tomorrow after class. Not that I didn't want to talk to him, I just knew I'd never get back to my homework.
Caitlyn must have been out with Nate for the night or something because she wasn't in her bed. Lucky her, she didn't have a class first thing in the morning like I did. I enjoyed the solitude and wrote the paper I had to.
I called Shane in the morning. He rather groggily answered the phone, too. "Well good morning, sunshine." I teased.
"Hey, baby." He answered. "What's up? It's only… 7 in the morning."
"8 o'clock class." I replied.
"Ooooh." He yawned.
"Why are you so tired, pop star?" I asked.
"Because I ended up in an x-box championship with Kevin and Nicky last night." He explained.
"What game?" I asked.
"All of them." He replied. I didn't reply so he explained, "No, seriously. Every game we own. We played them all. And kept track of who won how many. Well, Nicky kept score while Kevin and I battled it out."
"And? Did you win?" I asked feigning serious interest.
"Of course." He replied, his tone indicating he was completely lying. He busted out laughing hysterically a moment later. "Not at all. Kevin beat me back like 5 games."
"Nice." I commented. "Okay, well, I have to go shower before class. I'll call you later so can come pick me up for dinner."
He groaned at the mention of the shower. "Why couldn't you stay here for the 3 weeks I'm home?" He asked.
"Because. I'd get no school work done, that's why. Bye, Shane. Love you." I hung up on him, knowing we'd spend too much time bickering and I'd never get in the shower.
Caitlyn came in as I was getting ready to leave. She smiled tiredly at me as she crawled into bed.
"Where were you all night, missy?" I asked teasingly.
"With Nate, Jason, and Stas." She replied. "Mostly Nate is to blame for the tiredness."
"Really? What were you guys doing?" I was intrigued that they were all together.
"We were hanging out for a while at the hotel, and then Jason dragged Stas into his bedroom and locked the door behind them." I raised an eyebrow at her. "They weren't having sex." She replied pointedly. "But they're all clingy and cute. It's that post-break-up-make-up-fluff-fest period with them."
"They deserve it." I stated.
"I know." She yawned. "God, I'm going to kill Nate."
"Why?" I asked laughing as I pulled my book bag up onto my shoulder.
"Because he makes abstinence really hard to keep." She laughed. "Night, Mitch." She said rolling over. I laughed and headed off to class.
I had an hour break between classes, so rather than go back to the dorm, I headed to the café on campus. I pulled my phone out to text Shane. Hey. You awake now?
He replied, Yeah, just took Jake for a walk. What's up? Done with classes?
I sighed wishfully. I'd much rather be with Shane than my sociology class. Not yet. Only one more though. I'll see you at 12:30? I get out of class at 11:15.
Sure, baby. Love you. I smiled and sent him back the same. He was amazing sometimes. Especially when I find him on my bed at 11:30 when I get back from class.
"I said 12:30, dear." I playfully reprimanded.
"I wanted to surprise you." He said getting up to wrap me up in his arms.
"Where's Cait?" I asked.
"Class. I got here while she was in the shower, so I was hanging out in… Faith's room? She saved me from being mobbed. There was a group of girls coming up the stairs behind her evidentially. She pulled me in her room and was like, 'Hi, I'm Mitchie & Cait's friend Faith. Cait's in the shower, Mitchie's in class, and you were about to get mobbed.' She's pretty cool. She's the one you were telling me about, right?" He rambled a bit. I smiled.
"Yeah. That's Faith for you." I took a deep breath before almost gagging. "Did you take notes from Nate and start bathing in your cologne? I love the way you smell, baby, but damn."
Shane looked at me oddly once again. "Okay, having you been eating something that clears out your nose and like enhances your sense of smell or something?"
I looked at him equally oddly. "No. Can you even do that?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Anyway, what do you have to do before we can leave?"
"Well, since you're here, you can pack my bag for me. Then I can do my homework really quickly." I said already heading over to my desk.
He kissed my head as he walked past me into my closet. "Well, what do you want to wear?" He asked from inside the closet.
"Um…" I thought while trying to do my homework at the same time. "Whatever you pick, baby." I answered.
"Hmm…. Short skirt, tight top… high heels…" He started listing aloud to be a jerk.
Distractedly, I replied. "Any top will probably be tight, Shane."
"What?" He asked, sticking his head out of the closet.
"I don't know, the last day or two my shirts have been tighter across the chest." I answered, finally looking up from my homework.
"Not to be a perv, but have your boobs gotten bigger?" He asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me. I'm not a good judge of my own breasts."
"Well, they could just be growing. Keep an eye on that, though." He said disappearing again. "Oh! And we have to stop and get your prescription on the way back. I dropped it off on my way over." I didn't really answer, but went back to my work.
Finally I finished my homework and Shane packed my bag. I wanted to get the homework I still had to do for the weekend done, because I was spending the entire time with Shane and our friends in the hotel. While Shane mostly stayed home with his family during the break, he did have a room in the suite the boys had. They could have all gone home to the apartment, but wanted to be closer to us.
After picking up my anti-depressants, we entered the suite to find Jason and Anastasia cuddling on the couch. They were lost in their own world and didn't hear us come in.
"You've got something on your face." Jason said.
"What?" Anastasia asked moving her hand toward her face. Jason caught it before she touched her face though.
He kissed her cheek in an adorable way. "A kiss." He smiled.
"Awwww. That was incredibly cute." She giggled slightly, kissing his cheek back.
"Hey, guys." I said walking in.
"Mitchie!" Jason ran over to me, hugging me tightly.
"Wow, Jase, it's only been… 2 days?" I thought back.
"So." He pouted.
"Hey, Dracula." Anastasia greeted Shane, who gave her an equally big hug as the one Jason gave me.
"Stas." He greeted.
"So you two seem happy." I commented as we settled in the living room. Shane pulled me down on his lap.
"Yeah." Anastasia smiled and cuddled into Jason again. Jason smiled as well.
"So, what did happened? You guys said you worked it out, but this looks a lot more then working it out." I asked curiously.
They shared a look. "We'll tell you when Nate and Cait get here." Anastasia replied.
I rolled my eyes playfully. "Fine." I sighed dramatically. We continued talking and catching up until the others showed up. We'd be going out to dinner at 5.
"Hey, hey, hey." Caitlyn said walking in behind Nate awhile later.
"Hey, Cait! Hey, Nate." We all called out. The dropped onto the couch next to Jason and Anastasia.
"I'm hungry." Caitlyn complained. "Let's gooooo." She whined playfully.
We laughed and made our way out of the apartment. After being seated and placing our orders, Anastasia and Jason exchanged looks.
"Okay, so, you know how we've been, extra couple-y?" Anastasia asked.
"Now by extra do you mean more than your norm or more than normal people who just dealt with what you did?" I asked being a smartass.
Anastasia glared. "Anyway," She said pointedly while smiling at me. "We have an announcement. And an explanation."
We all sat on edge waiting for one of them to explain. "We're engaged." Jason finally said.
I believe all of our jaws hit the floor for a moment, though I was in such shock, I can't be completely certain.
Nate was the first to speak. "I thought you were breaking up a week ago. Now you're getting married?" He asked confused.
"No. We're engaged. It's different. We have no set wedding plans. We just, wanted to prove to each other, and the world, that we are serious about each other." Anastasia explained.
"We talked it out. It wasn't spur of the moment." Jason added.
"Jay said, 'I do want to marry you, you know.' and I said, 'I do, too. Seriously.' And we just… decided." Anastasia said.
"But I didn't do it properly." Jason smirked. It was weird to see Jason smirk. But a moment later, Jason was on the floor on one knee. Our smiles all grew wide as we knew what was coming. Anastasia's eyes took Jason in with much confusion. "Anastasia Dragomir, will you marry me?"
Her jaw dropped. "Oh… my… god! Of course!" Jason stood up and pulled her out of her chair, twirling her around. "I love you, Jay." she sighed softly, placing her head on his shoulder.
He kissed her head. "I love you, too."
Was life perfect? Far from it. But, there were things along the way to make it better. And this was one of the many coming our way.
Speculations welcome. )