"Thanks for the help," Superman said, offering his hand.
Xander shook it, noting how careful Superman was not to mangle his hand. "It's no problem, besides we're being bribed with food."
"Give me back my ring!" Sinestro demanded as the Green Lantern joined them, carrying Sinestro in a green bubble.
"I'm going to need his ring," Green Lantern said.
"Are you offering challenge?" Xander asked formally as the yellow ring continue to feed him data.
"Challenge?" Superman asked, as Green Lantern looked at Xander in surprise.
"A ring bearer can challenge another for their ring," Xander explained, "however, they risk their own by doing so."
"That is a tradition among green ring bearers, not yellow ones," Green Lantern said.
Xander shook his head. "A tradition has grown up around it, but that doesn't change the rules governing the challenge. The color of the ring is completely immaterial, ask your ring."
"I -" the bald headed Green Lantern fell silent as he consulted with his ring. "I see. Are you saying you won't simply turn over the ring?"
"Are you going to turn yours over to us?" Xander asked, refusing to be intimidated.
"You're outnumbered six to one," Green Lantern pointed out.
"We refuse to turn this into a physical confrontation," Xander said, crossing his arms and ignoring the now threatening postures of the people around him.
Green Lantern's ring snapped off like a switch had been flipped, dropping him and Sinestro on their asses. "What the?!"
"The challenge has been accepted by your ring and your attempt to intimidate us ignored," Xander said.
"I challenge!" Sinestro quickly shouted out.
"You have no ring to challenge with," Xander replied. "Get one and we'll accept your challenge."
Batman had Sinestro cuffed before he could say anything more, but Sinestro just nodded respectfully.
"Would you mind telling me what's going on?" Superman asked.
Xander nodded. "Sure. The Power Rings are all keyed to different emotions, but they are all tools of order. The Guardians of Oa chose Will as being the most appropriate tool for the enforcement of the rule of law and issued them to their chosen agents. However, the Guardians aren't the legal rulers over all of existence, nor are they Lords of Order. Their moral authority isn't absolute and as tools of order, there are rules about the rings interactions with one another, which each ring bearer must obey. One of which is the challenge for a ring."
"How come I've never heard of this before?" Plastic Man asked. "I've worked with baldy plenty of times and he never said a thing."
"I didn't know it," Green Lantern admitted. "Normally we simply battle and turn captured rings over to the Guardians."
"And if we we're a criminal that option would be one that was available to you, however we are not a criminal and the ring chose us over its current bearer," Xander explained, trying to sound knowledgeable while just parroting what the ring was still explaining to him.
"I thought the Guardians of Oa created the rings," Gear offered.
"At the level of existence they were accessing to bring them into being, it was more like discovering than designing. At any rate, the rings are all creations of the Lords of Order," Xander said. "They were created to settle an argument that is so far over our head we literally have no grasp of the concepts needed to explain it, but it's why we have the challenge."
"And my ring won't work for me until I've answered the challenge," Green Lantern realized.
"If you did not want to contest for the rings, you should not have offered challenge. This is basic information you should have learned from your ring the moment you put it on," Xander said, shaking his head.
"My training never covered it," he replied.
"The Guardians of Oa are control freaks," Xander said with a shrug, "but each ring has a fully functioning sentient AI that waits patiently for you to ask if there's anything you need to know."
"Who are you?" Static asked.
"Can we continue this on the Watch Tower?" Superman suggested.
"That's acceptable," Xander agreed.
After a quick lunch, the heroes gathered in a simulator room to complete the challenge, with a few additional people gathered along the way.
After a large meal, Xander felt a million times better and the way his face itched let him know his symbiote had enough resources to start repairing the portions of his skin that had been destroyed.
"What right do you have to challenge Green Lantern for his ring?" Vixen demanded. "He's a good man who does a damn fine job! We all know him and what he stands for while we haven't even seen your face!"
"And we haven't seen your tits!" Xander fired back, causing everyone to fall silent.
"What?" she asked coldly.
"Two things," Xander said. "One, we didn't challenge him for his ring, he challenged us for ours; so don't pretend we're the one who started this. And Two, most of the people here hide their identities behind a mask of one sort or another, so asking to see our face is as out of line as us asking you to bare your breasts."
Vixen reached up and yanked down her top.
Xander's jaw fell to almost his waist.
"Hey, that's my shtick!" Plastic Man exclaimed.
"Put up or shut up!" Vixen growled.
Xander pulled his jaw back up and his outfit morphed from Claude Rains to a solid, full-body, black outfit with a stylized white spider wrapped around his chest. "We'll warn you now, we were at ground zero to an idiot setting off a poorly made kerosene bomb, so our face is... Just try not to lose your lunch." For once he was glad his face was burned as badly as it was, as it made identifying him all but impossible.
"Stan Lee is going to sue you for copyright infringement," Gear said, shaking his head.
Xander's costume peeled back from his head, revealing a face that was seared to the bone in places, with large sections of skin missing and muscles exposed to the air.
"How do we -" Vixen began when Superman interrupted her.
"It's real," Superman assured her.
Xander quickly ordered the symbiote to cover his face once more.
"Sorry," Vixen apologized, pulling up her top.
Xander shrugged. "Not your fault, and hopefully it'll heal in time. Anyway, like we were saying, it's not our actions that led to this. Green Lantern challenged us for our ring, not the other way around."
"You could have just given it to him," Plastic Man pointed out.
"That would have been stating that we were a criminal because he had the right to claim our ring," Xander said. "The only crime we can be charged with is vagrancy or possibly being an illegal alien, neither of which was our choice."
"So what do we call you?" Static asked.
"We usually go by Spider-Man," Xander said not wanting to provide any connections to his old life that could be used to trace him.
"Like the comic book character?" Gear asked.
"The what now?" Xander asked, feigning surprise and relying on his symbiote to fake the correct biological signs to fool the senses of any being or sensors nearby.
"If you're not from this reality, how do you know so much about the rings?" Batman demanded, figuring out Xander's cover and poking at the holes before he could even finish establishing it.
"The ring has its own AI that can communicate telepathically with the wearer, and we have some experience with telepathic communication," Xander explained. "How did you know we were from elsewhere?"
"If you're really Peter Parker, why do you have a California accent?" Batman countered.
Xander quickly buried himself in the Peter mindset Venom supplied from his copy of Peter's memories. "How did you -" He leapt onto the wall to give himself room to fight.
"Easy!" Superman called out, quickly getting in between Xander and everyone else. "In this reality you are a well-known comic book character."
"One from New York," Batman pointed out.
"We didn't move to New York until we were almost a teen," Xander said. "Besides, Jonah hates the accent, so we always use it while in costume."
"Everyone in the US, and probably the world, knows your history and name," Static said. "Reading your comics is part of what convinced me to become a hero."
"Really?" Xander asked, dropping off the wall.
"Really," Static assured him.
"So much for a secret ID," Xander muttered. His ring pulsed. "Back to the challenge," he announced.
As the rest of the heroes cleared out, leaving Xander facing Green Lantern for the ring challenge, he was struck by the thought that if he hadn't washed his new black jeans with his lucky Spider Man boxers, none of this would have occurred and Oz would still be alive.
AN: Typing by Ordieth!