Blake appears at my bedroom door dressed only in a red robe and eating a bagel. I stand over my vanity mirror applying a final coat of mascara to my eye lashes. He watches me inquisitively, his eye brows raising when I rush back to my vanity mirror to check my appearance for the 10th time that morning.
"What's got you all dressed up?" He says, looking appreciatively at my choice of clothing.
"I'm not dressed up."
He raises an eye brow. I stare at my appearance. Okay. So maybe I was a little dressed up for breakfast with Lucas but after last night I didn't just want to appear in anything. I want to look good…desirable…sexy.
"Fine. I am a little. I'm meeting someone for breakfast."
"This someone must be a significant someone."
"He is."
"Chuck?"
"Please, like I'd waste my time on that insensitive, lying asshole."
"Then who?"
"Haven't you read the latest on GG Blake?" I raise my eye brows as I pass him my phone with the picture of Lucas and me making out.
Blake's eyes light up at the very sight of the picture.
"Nice. Do you think Chuck will mind?"
"I don't care if he does."
It takes me a minute to put the final touches on my outfit, hair and make up but by 7.50am I am ready and waiting for the phone call from Lucas.
"So…it's officially over then?"
"Yes."
"What about Jenny?"
"She'll get what's coming. I still have plans for her and the foundation and whether Chuck still wants to be apart of that is up to him."
He takes a seat beside me on my bed and grabs my wrist. I flinch, hoping he won't notice. But not much gets past Blake I've realised and he looks at me strangely then quickly pulls up the sleeve of my jacket, revealing the hideous cuts I made.
"Blair!"
I don't say anything.
"What the hell?"
"Don't give me 'what the hell?'. I have my reasons."
"Reasons Blair? Reasons? You are fucking perfect, you live in a perfect penthouse with perfect clothes, shoes and bags. You have perfect hair and perfect skin. Everything about you is perfect. Why?"
"Blake. There's heaps about me that you don't know."
"I don't believe you."
"Did you know I had anorexia when I was younger?"
He looks at me, eyes softening.
"No."
"Well I did. When I was 13 I had this thing in my mind that I was fat and that my mother disapproved of me so I started not eating until my mother noticed and then I'd eat and purge. My mother didn't even notice, I was so depressed I used to cut until…until Serena found out and told my mom."
"I'm so sorry."
"It's nothing. I'm over it, honestly. I mean I have my days where I don't really want to eat because I think I'm fat but I always remind myself that I don't want to go back there. But after Chuck the other night I couldn't handle everything. It was a stupid mistake."
"Just don't again okay?"
I'm about to reply when my cell rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"How are you?" I ask, knowing well that I woke up with a hangover.
"A bit groggy, yourself?"
"Same."
"Hey, um about breakfast this morning…"
"You can't make it right?"
"No…I can. It just has to be real soon. My mother called and she wants to have brunch with my brother and I and I can't bail."
"Oh that's fine. Look if you can't do breakfast I'd understand…"
"I can! I really want to as well. What about we meet at that cute café around the corner from the club we went to last night…"
"Maria's?"
"Yes! Can you make it?"
"Yeah sure. I'll see you soon."
"You too."
I hang up, Blake looks me up and down before leaving.
--
I'm in such a hurry to get to the café as soon as possible that I don't see Chuck coming and run straight into him, spilling his coffee all over his Armani cashmere sweater and probably ruining it. He sighs.
"Well fuck. You don't happen to live by do you? I have this really important friend I'm meeting very soon and I live on the other side of town and I don't often carry around changes of clothing with me…" He trails off as he looks up and notices me.
"You're lame pick up lines don't work with me Bass. I'd think of getting some new ones."
"Blair. What are you doing here?"
"I'm meeting a friend."
"A…male friend?"
"Not that it's any of your business Bass but yes. A male friend."
Chuck nods.
"Well, I'll leave you to it."
He starts to walk off before I call out to him.
"Oh Bass!?"
"Yeah?" He says, spinning around.
"Now that we're back in town we need to meet up to discuss ideas for the foundation, the social meeting is in a few days."
"Sure. Whatever."
Chuck disappears around the corner and I continue on my way. I make it to the café fairly quickly and immediately spot Lucas sitting at a table by the window already mulling over the menu. I greet him with a kiss on the cheek before apologising about being late and taking a seat across from him at the small table.
"It's fine." He smiles, snapping his fingers at a waitress as she walks by. "Two coffees please."
The waitress nods and vanishes.
"How did you sleep?" I ask, reluctantly eyeing the menu.
"Fine." He smirks. "How did you sleep?"
"Good."
"Blair?"
"Mhmm?"
"Last night…"
"Can't happen again." I smile half heartedly. "I know. I get it."
Lucas smiles adoringly, the blue in his eyes sparkling more today then I've ever seen it do.
"No. I want it to happen again. After I went home you were all I could think about. Every time I closed my eyes to sleep your face would pop up and I'd remember the feeling of your lips and your hands…"
"Lucas…" I say, grinning.
"I don't know why. There's just something about you. Everything about you."
"So what are you saying?"
He reaches over and caresses the back of my hand with his thumb.
"I don't know exactly. What I do know is that my brain can't get rid of your face and all I can think about is you. I know I want to see you again and I want last night to happen a million times over."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't need to say anything. I just want you to know that no one can find out okay? We have to be totally secretive about this and careful. Gossip Girl cannot find out about this, if she knows then the whole of Manhattan will know and Lena will find out and I don't want to hurt her like that."
"I don't know how we can hide this from Gossip Girl."
"No one knows about me right?"
"No one."
"So let's keep it that way. Don't mention my name, don't mention seeing me. We'll meet at hotels and café's and bars and various other places but never at our homes. You'll act as my friend in public and whatever else you want to be in private."
Lucas leans in closer.
"I can think of a few things I want you to be in private."
I feel the pit of my stomach warm. I could certainly think of a few things I'd like to be in private with him too but I wasn't about to voice my opinion right here in the middle of a café.
--
Lucas walks me down an ally way, a short cut to my house. I anticipate the moment when his lips finally touch mine again but he doesn't actually hint that he will kiss me or that he's even thinking about doing it but I know he is when he stops and looks at me with those intense eyes and takes my hand.
His lips brush my fingers, kissing the tips. He then takes my hand and places it on his shoulder as he leans in and kisses me. Desperately. Passionately. Feverishly.
"Lucas…Lucas…" I giggle, trying to pry him from me. "You don't want anyone to see right? Well kissing in daylight isn't the best way to hide us."
"You're right." He says, straightening himself.
He checks his watch and sighs.
"I have to go otherwise I'll be late to meet my mother and brother."
"Okay." I smile warmly.
"I'll call you okay? Soon."
"Okay."
As Lucas starts to walk off I smile to myself as I feel a familiar flutter in my heart and that strange feeling in my stomach just like the first day I met Nate.
"Oh Blair!?" He yells back, I turn to meet his eyes. "Soon." He says, finally turning back around and walking away.
--
I arrive at Chuck's hotel room late in the afternoon for our scheduled meeting to talk about the foundation stuff. I knock a few times and wait patiently outside his door. As I wait Jenny Humphrey appears giggling from that same hotel room I saw her come from last time.
She spots me straight away and strides up to me confidently, now just as tall as me if not taller.
"Well if it isn't Blair Waldorf." She says, leaning against the wall opposite me.
"And if it isn't Little Jenny Humphrey. Still gold digging LJ? Does your dear old daddy know you're here or have you told him otherwise?"
"I'm at a friends studying as far as he knows."
"Wouldn't it be a shame for your secret to be caught out? I mean what would happen if Mr Humphrey found out his only child was dating someone 10 years her senior?"
"Watch it Waldorf. You're still number one on my to kill list."
I laugh in her face, hearing Chuck behind the door yelling at someone through the phone.
"Aren't you little miss Jenny from the wrong side of the tracks lately…then again you always were trash."
Jenny launches at me, her hands pushing my shoulders against the wall. I feel her fingernails dig into my skin viciously. Chuck opens his door to find us eye to eye ready to kill each other.
"Ladies, please. If you're going to fight at least make it enjoyable and strip down to your underwear." He smirks.
"You're such a pig." I snort.
Jenny grins.
"Oh that's right. You two broke up right? What happened B?"
"None of your business Jenny."
She relents and backs away.
"You're right."
She starts to walk away before stopping and cocking her head to one side before turning around.
"Now that you and Blair have broken up Chuck if you're ever feeling a little…lonely give me a call. I'm sure I can be some form of entertainment." She says before walking away for good.
I roll my eyes and push my way past Chuck into his hotel room. He snorts but doesn't say a word. I find his alcohol and immediately start making myself a drink. It's not until a few minutes later does he talk.
"I might take her up on the offer." He smirks.
I stop making my drink and look at him, an unreadable expression on my face.
"You know I'd actually be surprised if I didn't already know you'd fuck anything that breathes. Slumming it with Jenny Humphrey. That's a new low."
"I hear she's quite good with that little mouth of hers."
"Chuck!"
"And from what I've heard she's as limber and flexible as-."
"Say another word Bass and I'll personally see to it that you're castrated."
He laughs and sits on his sofa. I take a seat on the same sofa at the opposite end.
"I'm curious B. Who is this guy?" He asks.
"It's none-."
"I think it is. See, if it weren't for him we wouldn't have had that fight and we wouldn't have broken up and right now I'd probably have you pinned against a wall fucking you senseless."
"Who says I wouldn't have broken up with you anyway?"
"I doubt that B."
"You're so arrogant and cocky."
"So this guy…what's his name?"
"Why? So you can go to his apartment and kill him? Sorry Bass but not only is he older than you but he's a lot more manly. In fact he actually has muscles."
"What are you afraid of then? Unless you actually care about me."
"I don't. Trust me."
"Then who's the guy?"
I look at him as I sip my drink.
"Daniel…Daniel…" Fuck. Daniel who? "Daniel Yale."
Chuck gets up and throws me a folder.
"That's everything I've thought about for the foundation. All my ideas and suggestions. Get back to me when you've read it and tell me what you think. We'll get together before Wednesday to discuss what we'll bring up at the meeting."
"You're going?"
"I am."
"To murder Daniel right?"
"Exactly."
"Why? What's the point Chuck?"
He walks right up to me and looks me in the eye.
"Because I love you. I love you Blair and I'm not about to let some guy come between us."
"You're too late."
"I am?"
"Yes. You are. I don't love you anymore. Not after your remark the other night. That hurt me Chuck you know how sensitive I am about that scar."
"I'm sorry-."
"Sorry can't take back the cuts!"
He looks at me deadpanned. My cell vibrates in my pocket. Chuck walks over to his bar to make another drink.
I'm thinking about you. Lucas.
I smile but wipe it off before Chuck notices.
I'm thinking about you too. B.
"Blair…"
"Don't. Don't say you're sorry."
"But I am. I never meant for this to happen. I don't want you to start doing this to yourself again."
What are you wearing? Lucas.
"Doing what?"
Chuck places his drink on the coffee table and places a hand on my face gently.
"Not eating, cutting. Blair it fucked you up. Don't you remember?"
He walks away to his window. Perfect opportunity to text Lucas back.
I just got out of the shower. What do you think I'm wearing? B.
"Blair you were so fucking depressed, everyone thought we'd lose you. You got so skinny you would fucking vanish if you turned to your side."
"Chuck I'm not like that anymore."
"Really B? Really? Because as I remember it you started cutting and getting skinnier without anyone noticing for months."
Mmm. I can imagine. We should take a shower together. Lucas.
Call me fucked up but fighting with Chuck and texting Lucas dirty things was kind of hot. It was making me wet.
"Fuck you! You don't get the right to say all this Chuck!"
"Don't I? Because I'm still your fucking friend Blair. You're only fucking friend. I still care about you and I'm sure Serena and Nate wouldn't want me to turn a blind eye while you fucking torture yourself again."
Oh I think so too. I'd just love to wash you. :P B.
"Don't you bring them into this! They're fucking dead Chuck. They're dead. You have no idea what they'd want!"
I'm so hard right now thinking of you. Lucas.
"I know that!"
"Then stop bringing them up!"
"Fuck Blair! Why the hell do you have to be so fucking difficult!?"
"Fuck you. Fuck this. I'll call you when I've looked over your ideas."
I storm out of his hotel room furious. As I reach the elevator I remember Lucas' text.
Can we meet somewhere now? I could help you get rid of that hard cock of yours. B.
I rush outside into the rain, my hair getting wet.
Fuck yes. Lena went out with friends. I'll meet you at that same club we were at last night okay? We'll go from there. And Blair, you're my dirty little secret. Lucas.
--
Spotted. B making out with mysterious hottie in an ally way. I think it's about time you reveal this mysterious hottie B. After all on the Upper East Side secrets never stay secret for long. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.
I'm hoping you all like Lucas. He's going to be bringing some more drama to the Upper East Side in a few chapters to come.
Reveiws are nice