Kyoko's Secret: Crouching Feelings, Hidden Intentions
Hey guys, I'm sorry I've not been on for a while. Normally I don't do this, but this has gone on for too long. I'm sorry I've not been on for so long, and normally I'd tell you guys the reason was because I was really busy and swamped (mainly because that's normally the reason if ever I'm gone…) but the truth is, this time it wasn't that. I'm sorry to lay all this on you and please, feel free to skip it, but I wanted to show you all respect by telling you the reason I've not been on here. I could make some excuse but it just wouldn't feel right to you guys. While true, my life has gotten busier with me moving and a new job and other things, that's not the reason I've not been writing. I've not been writing because I've been unable to write. See, for the past couple of months, I've been going through a lot of depressive thoughts about me and my ability to write. I published a book last year and it's not gone where I've wanted it to. It may sound selfish or stupid, but I wanted to see it change so many lives and it hasn't. From there on, I tried to write this chapter, I got on many times, especially reading all the great reviews from everyone. I even had a few friends reach out to me to ask where I was, but each time I opened it up to write, I couldn't. I would try but then I would start to feel it was awful and I had no ability and was wasting everyone's time. So I stopped. Writing no longer was fun and the more I did it the more horrible I felt. Each time I heard from you all I wanted to write, believe me I did, but the minute I opened up the chapter and would start, I would feel it was awful and that I wasn't any good and that I was just wasting everyone's time because I was a no-talent, arrogant naive writer (if I could even call myself that) and had no business even attempting to write. Maybe it sounds ridiculous (it even sounds ridiculous even writing it on here and it's taking all I have to write this) but I wanted to let you know what has been happening. It took a lot of prayer, and talking with friends (both online and IRL) and a lot of introspective thinking and I finally realized that I'm okay if I'm a no-talent, arrogant naive writer. I'm okay if the books I write never get heard of or never get read. I write these stories for the enjoyment of people, and one of those people…is me. For the longest time, I felt that if I enjoyed my own stories I was being arrogant. I was being conceited and had no right. Now I feel like it's okay to enjoy my own stories, but I want a lot of other people to enjoy them too. I don't want to stop here, I'm not going to stop here. That's not my way. I want to keep pushing on and pushing forward. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, and I can't promise I'll be updating regularly, because I'm going to keep working on my stories for publishing too and may not have the time I did with everything else, but I can promise you I will finish the stories I make. I'm not the kind to leave it forever. I know where I want this story to go, and I want to show it to all of you. I'm sorry if I let you down. I'm sorry if I'm sounding whiny or weird or strange, but I wanted to respect you all by letting you know what was happening. I'm sorry.
Now that I've confessed my dirty laundry (or negative thoughts I guess) beneath here is another chapter of this story. Once this one is done, I'm going to finish my stories in succession of reviews (and am planning to start another set once these are all finished) which means, this chapter will have to tide you over until I finish Tangled (which I'm hoping to have finished by summer). Thank you all for your time and I hope you enjoy.
Big thank you to all the reviews I got. I'm going to leave responses here.
Jeremy VD: Sorry I haven't been on for so long, but your reviews always make me smile. You are so close to figuring it out! Hopefully this chapter will reveal some more of the secrets (but not all of course) your theory is actually close to the mark, I'd look down below to learn more :) You're definitely right. It will take a lot for Yori to win against Kyoko, so I'm figuring a long fight is in store between them. :) Thank you so much for your review as always! I love your in-depth analysis'
Guest (Aug 15): You know, a lot of people think that. She's not attracted to Kyoko in a romantic way, but as for her sexuality, i can neither confirm nor deny the rumors (yet). Thank you so much for your review.
Guest (Aug 15): Yori explains why she has her hatred for Kyoko and her eyes in this chapter :) I hope it will answer more questions. Thank you so much for your review.
Guest (Aug 15): Wow! What an awesome theory! You're definitely right. Sho plays a definite role in this and he definitely caused some of the animosity between Yori and Kyoko (though it might not be totally romantic based) There is a grudge between Yori and someone, but Kyoko just happens to be a byproduct of it (literally) and you're definitely right! Saena plays a huge part in this grudge match! Great theory! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry it took so long.
FutureMageOtaku99: I feel special when you leave reviews, so if I can pay it back by responding here, I'm happy to :). It's thanks to you all I still can write, so I want to show my appreciation however i can! You're definitely right, If any of them slip, Yori will use it to her advantage. There's definitely a trial ahead. Hopefully, Kyoko's up to it. Thank you as always for your review!
NadieLee: Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate it! Thank you!
Kumioko: I'm so sorry it took me so long to write a new chapter. It was…difficult for a while. But I plan on continuing it! I see my stories like children, I want to see them grow and develop and then completed! This one's no different :). I'm glad you're liking Yori. She definitely has many layers. You're about to see another one in this chapter (should clear up some confusion) I don't plan on her permanently separating Ren and Kyoko, but all relationships have trouble, that's what makes them stronger :) so hope you're ready for the long haul. Julianna isn't Kuu's wife but that's not to say she's not in the roster. ;) Kyoko never saw Kuu's wife but that's not saying Ren won't recognize her ;). Can't guarantee a full kiss yet for Kyoko and Ren, but there's definitely going to be some fluff :) thank you so much for the review!
BB7: Nice to see you again! I'm sorry this took me so long, but I do have a new chapter, it's right beneath here :) Yeah, Yori's hard to love, but hopefully this will shed some light on her motives, you're right, there were problems between Yori and Kyoko during childhood too, a lot actually. Ren and Yashiro know her deception, and you're right. Lory probably knows too, so the question remains, why hire her when he knew she would try to bring Kyoko down? Thank you for the congrats on the book! It took some time but I hope people enjoy it :) Thank you so much for your review.
LevyXGajeelForever: Yori does have some relation to Kyoko (but not exactly aunt) and there is jealousy involved :) Nice theory! Thank you so much for your review!
Julia G.: Thank you so much for your review! i'm glad you're enjoying it! I'm sorry it took so long to upload, but I hope you enjoy it :)
Krimson: Thank you for the critique :) I'll definitely keep it in mind. I try not to go too OOC with my characters, but I needed someone to see Yori's real motives, and the only one I wanted to see it was Ren, which means I had to get him mad at her. For now, my reasoning is his overprotectiveness of Kyoko (which we've seen can lead to him slipping on his mask with Sho and Reino). It sort of kicked in around Yori and it's all she needed to slip on her mask too. But thank you for the advice, i'll definitely keep it in mind for future chapters, hopefully Ren's more in character for the later chapters :) Thank you for the review :)
Huggles: Thank you so much for enjoying it! i'm sorry it's taking so long to upload, it's been…difficult for the past year or so. Thank you so much for the review. Kyoko's more perceptive than she thinks, and Ren's disguise isn't as airtight as even he would like to believe, little by little all secrets are slipping out. More of Yori's secrets are revealed in this chapter :) i hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for your review!
SHAJRIN: Hi! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! Wow! You picked up on a lot! Great observation skills (I won't tell you what, because it's written in this chapter) Kyoko and Yori's father definitely plays a role into this, but that can't be revealed just yet :) keep going though! Love the thoughts! I love Kyoko too so I don't plan on giving her too much pain, but sometimes pain can be a great way to pull weaknesses out of a person and turn them into strengths. It will all depend on Kyoko's ability to stand through the crucible. Thank you so much for your review!
Irina: Bonjour! Yori is Lily and she is being manipulated by Saena, but Susan plays another role than a mother, :) Yori is experiencing anxiety and psycho-somatic symptoms, nice deduction! Thank you so much for your review! Merci Boucoup!
Gingerfingers: That is what this chapter covers, so hopefully this will help solve some of those questions :) Thank you so much for your review!
ladygraywolf: Chapter 2: Yori is hiding something, and this chapter gets a little bit closer to her real thoughts, but you're right. Hopefully this will answer some of those reasons Yori seems so hateful :) I've got a bit of an evil streak :) but I'm all about redemption so hopefully Yori will find hers :) Chapter 4: Kyoko has a brain. And she's a lot more perceptive than people think. She plays dumb because than she doesn't have to deal with emotions that she doesn't want to face (like when she pretended she didn't know what Ren was going to tell her when he tried to ask her out in the manga but revealed to the readers she knew what he was going to say but was too frightened) She sees the world for what it is, but is so frightened of it that rather than face it, she decides to turn it into her own fantasy, an issue that will be addressed in this story. I believe that relationships take time and maturity, and neither Ren or Kyoko are emotionally ready for one yet, so I'm going to put them through the fire (well, Yori is) and hopefully they'll get stronger from it :) Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really needed it. Thank you :)
BB71: I'm sorry it took so long. I posted my confession, but it's just been hard. Lets just say, Yori and Kyoko aren't the only ones that have trouble expressing their emotions. I tried to keep mine bottled up and they came out in my inability to write for so long. I'm so sorry. I know this can't make up for it, but hopefully you enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for your review.
Guest: Thank you for the reminder. I needed to hear that. Here is the update. Thank you so much for your review :)
Guest: You're right. I shouldn't get people interested in a story and then drop it, which wasn't my intention. it sort of just…happened. After a while, I stopped noticing days going by and my computer started gathering dust (which never happened before) I'm so sorry for keeping you hanging for so long, but hopefully you like this chapter. Thank you.
Guest: I'm going to post a new chapter, it's just been taking longer than I hoped. i'm sorry. But I have a new chapter now, and once I finish my other story, this one is the next one on the list. Thank you so much for the reminder, and i'm sorry for making you feel like your patience has gone unnoticed. Thank you for being patience, and I'm so sorry.
Guest: I'm posting a new chapter now. I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting. Thank you so much for the review.
Yameros: I plan on continuing this. i'm not ready to give up yet. I'm too stubborn for that. I'm glad you think my Kyoko's not too far from the original, I'm learning from other great fanfiction authors on here so I can keep my work as close to the manga as possible. Thank you so much for your review!
Thank you to those that have favorited and followed this story and me! And thank you to those that read this story! thank you all so much!
Thank you all so much, and once again. I'm so sorry, here is the next chapter!
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Chapter 7
Kyoko watched with fear and uncertainty as Yashiro climbed into Yori's car. Kyoko could sense something was off with Yori, but couldn't tell what. 'I hope she's okay. She seems like something is really wrong.' Normally she would have offered to stay with Yori, but she had already made a promise to Ren to eat dinner with him so she couldn't go back on her word.
"As if! You just don't want to admit you want to spend more time with him than you do with Yori! Admit it! Admit it!" she could hear her angels jibe.
Kyoko waved the thought away as she pushed her bubbling feelings down once more. 'No I just don't think it would be right to go back on my word to my senpai that's all!' she affirmed as she buckled herself into the seat. She looked into the rearview mirror as Yashiro seemed to talk to Yori about something. She didn't know what was going on, but she hoped the two managers were getting along.
Ren watched as the love of his life stared out the window. He would never admit it, but he liked to watch her emotions when there were no words. When Kyoko spoke to him, she guarded her emotions, hid her feelings, and tended to shield her heart, especially using that damn word "senpai" like a burning arrow toward any flirtation he attempted. But when she didn't speak, and no words were said, her face tended to drop her guard and reveal her true thoughts. It was during these times, Ren could read her. It was during these times Ren felt the closest to her.
But right now, Ren felt jealousy as he saw her eyes plastered onto the departing car which held his manager Yashiro and her manager, Yori.
'Damn it! Why the minimal times when her face is showing her emotion, does her thoughts have to be on that scheming manager!' then he stopped and hit his head on the steering wheel as he thought vainly, 'have I sunk so low that I'm jealous of a woman manager that holds her attention more than I do?'
He gave a sigh and chuckle as he thought about the amazing young woman that had fallen into his life again only a few years ago and had turned his world upside down. 'wouldn't change it for the world though.' he thought as he peeked at her through his arms laying on the steering wheel. He was shocked to see her flaming gold eyes staring at him with concern.
"Tsuruga-san? Are you okay?" She asked quietly. He sat up quickly and turned his face forward to the street as he pulled from the parking garage.
"I'm fine Mogami-san. Just a little tired from the shoot." he excused. As the words flew from his mouth he felt like snatching them up as he saw her eyes go from concerned to scolding.
"This is why you need to eat more Tsuruga-san! What will you do if you get sick again?!" she lectured.
Ren hid a smile. It was only at these times when Kyoko would shed her upright formal demeanor that she normally held. In truth, he liked when his manager told Kyoko he didn't eat, because he knew that two things were going to happen. One, she would come over to make him dinner; and two, he'd get a scolding from a Kyoko that wasn't worried about senpai or kouhai behavior.
"I don't get sick Mogami-san. That one time was just a coincidence." he responded, waiting to see her reaction.
Kyoko's face flushed with annoyance, "I'm sure. And I'm sure your tiredness has nothing to do with your appetite at all. Ren," Kyoko cursed her mouth for betraying her as she backpedaled, "I mean, Tsuruga-san. It's a fact that eating is connected to your energy level. In fact, eating plays a significant role-" she lectured.
Ren stopped listening as Kyoko continued on about the importance of eating. Normally he would be paying rapt attention, but one word had caught him off guard. His name. She had said his name. Not "Tsuruga-san," or "Tsuruga-senpai" but his name. Maybe it was a mistake, or maybe he had misheard, but right now all that mattered was the syllables that poured from her mouth as she said his name. It also dropped his guard as he came back into reality to hear Kyoko say, "Tsuruga-san? Are you alright?"
He felt his heart drop at the return to his surname but smiled back at Kyoko and nodded, "Hai, hai Mogami-san. I will try to take care of my body better by eating. But if you are so worried about it, why don't you eat with me all the time to make sure I eat?" he joked, smirking at her.
Kyoko's face blushed at the thought of it. She had to admit, it sounded nice, eating with Tsuruga-san all of the time, being there when he came home, listening to him as he called out "Tadaima!" 'No! Stop Kyoko! You know he doesn't feel like that towards you! Stop it! Stop feeling like that!' she grumbled back to Ren, "you're making fun of me again Tsuruga-san. You know I won't eat with you all of the time. I am not your mother." she griped.
Ren felt his heart drop again. He never meant to upset her, but whenever he made even the slightest move on her, she would retreat and hide. His manager may have griped to him about being too afraid of making a move to Kyoko but he knew if he did, she would run. And he didn't know what he, or Kuon would do if she ran. "Mogami-san, how could I possibly think that you are my mother, when you call me your senpai?" he asked, trying to hold down his frustration at the girl who refused to love.
Kyoko couldn't say anything to that. She could see the hurt on her senpai's face, but didn't know what to say. She wanted to apologize, but apologizing would only make her seem arrogant. So she stayed silent on the way to the house.
When they got to the house, the awkward atmosphere was drooping over the shoulders of both Ren and Kyoko. Ren didn't know how to respond, but inside was kicking himself for letting his true feelings slip through his teeth. 'Idiot! How could I say that?! I already know her aversion to love and her aversion to feelings, so what do I do? I call her out on it! Stupid! Damn it! Why couldn't I hold it together?!'
He wished he could take back the words in order to eliminate the awkwardness, but he knew better. No one got do over days. Or do over minutes for that matter. 'how can I fix this? If this keeps up, she'll find an excuse next time to keep from coming over. Damn it! I've got to think of something to keep that from happening!' he thought.
Meanwhile, while Ren was kicking himself, Kyoko was doing the same. She had let her hurt feelings show, and now she was afraid that Ren had picked up on her feelings. 'I knew he didn't feel the same way I feel for him, but still, to remind me so coldly that he is only a 'senpai' to me. Maybe, I've been too arrogant. I thought I could hold back my feelings so I won't lose his support, but if he finds out, I'll just be an annoying girl in love with him. I can't let that happen.' She thought determinedly to herself. As she thought this, she felt a pang of sadness in her chest, but she shook her head of any futile thoughts of feelings and sentiment, focusing her thoughts into cutting the vegetables for dinner. She heard the heavy footsteps of Ren Tsuruga come into the kitchen and swallowed her emotions, swallowing a lump as she quickened the pace of her cuts.
"Mogami-san?" She heard Ren ask. Her rapid cutting paused, but did not still. Ren took a deep breath, trying to think of how to remove the awkward atmosphere between them. "What are you making?" He asked with a small smile.
Kyoko continued to cut the vegetables but responded, "I was surprised that your kitchen was fully stocked this time. I'm making a beef yakisoba. While I would prefer pork because it is cheaper, it is still healthy and hearty enough and on cold days it's nice and warm." When she finished her explanation, she returned to rapidly cutting vegetables.
Ren had to smile. Yakisoba was healthy and hearty but not nearly as full as other dishes she could have made him eat. Leave it to the girl to find a dish that he could enjoy with no trouble on his stomach. Behind her, where she couldn't see, he gazed warmly at the image of her cooking in his kitchen. He would never tell her, but at night sometimes, he would dream of coming home and seeing her cooking in his kitchen, and him coming up behind her, hugging her, kissing her, her telling him of the great filming she had done for the day and him helping with the dishes at the end of the no doubt tasty meal she would make. It was one of the reasons, on times like this when she was in his kitchen, he would burn the image to his memory, wondering if ever his dream would be a reality.
"Tsuruga-san? Is there anything else you need?" he heard her voice break his fantasy. He looked at her burning gold irises before quickly responding, "Gomenasai, Mogami-san. I was wondering if you would like any help in preparation. I can't cook, but I know a little bit about prepping food." he smiled gently so as not to frighten her. Actually, he knew more than a little in cooking (granted, he was not nearly the chef Kyoko was) but he would never tell her that. As long as she thought he was incapable of cooking, she would continue coming over. If that was the case, he would be oblivious to cooking food forever if need be.
Kyoko smiled at the offer. Ren was always gracious to offer help in helping her and she was grateful. "Arigato gozaimus Tsuruga-san, if you can finish cutting the vegetables while I prep the pan and the meat, I would be thankful."
As Ren took her place to cut the vegetables and she prepared the meat and pan, the awkward atmosphere drizzled away between them. All was right again. Ren knew that the relationship between them was fragile, but he would do anything to maintain it. He meant what he said to his manager, he would wait years if that's what it would take to win this girl's heart. Kyoko smiled to herself as she hoped sadly that even when Ren won the girl he loved (because there was no doubt he would win her, he was THE Tsuruga Ren after all), her place in cooking meals for him and being his kouhai would never change. And she would do whatever it took to maintain that relationship.
So in the midst of sizzling meat for dinner, two mutual feelings of love were drowned by the desperation to not lose the relationship they had with each other. As dinner finished cooking, Ren saw Kyoko walking to the door and noticed only one bowl of yakisoba set up. 'She's leaving already? No! I have to find a way to make her stay! Just give me a little more time!' He looked around for something, anything to give him inspiration to get her to stay. He saw the TV sitting in the corner of his apartment and thought back to when they watched TV the last time she was in his apartment. Could a miracle occur again? He turned on the TV fast and saw something that was coming up that he prayed could be enough to convince her to stay. Now, he would just have to be careful in bringing it up. Any sign of his true feelings, and she would run.
"Mogami-san? Where are you going?" he asked, hoping he sounded innocent. Kyoko jumped from where she had almost finished putting on her shoes. She had planned on leaving. Her heart couldn't take anymore of the pain. What if he asked her to stay? "I made you dinner as promised Tsuruga-san. Yori told me to make sure I got sleep. I have shoots, school…" she stopped as she thought of other priorities she had, anything to keep her from staying. She felt bad for using Yori in her excuse, but surely, Tsuruga would understand about a manager's demands right?
Wrong. Tsuruga felt his blood boil as he heard Kyoko say that Yori told her to stay away. Now he was more determined than ever to get her to stay.
Luckily, before he could speak, a loud sound crashed outside the apartment. Kyoko leapt back as a bright flash of light lit up the outside for a second before it went back to darkness. Through the darkness, Kyoko could hear the loud sounds of rain falling outside. Her heart pounded in her chest as her tumulus thoughts mirrored the ever swelling storm. "No. It can't be storming now. It can't! Why now! Why, when I can't control my feelings! Damn it God! Why can't you just leave well enough alone!" she cursed before hearing heavy footsteps behind her.
Ren approached her from behind and peered outside the blinds in the apartment. "It's coming down hard. The forecast predicted a heavy rain but not this soon or this bad." He turned to see Kyoko staring at him, her eyes wide with fear and he felt a sting in his heart of her fear even as it leapt in joy at the graciousness of God for giving the storm, "I'm sorry Mogami-san, but with this storm, I can't let you leave yet. What kind of senpai would I be to let you leave in this?"
With that said, she gave a sigh and undid her shoes. She knew he was right and there was no point in arguing. When he was like this, she wasn't going to win. With a small smile, he ushered her back in the living room and said softly, his deep voice reverberating in her ear. "Luckily, we still have electricity, so I think we can watch a movie. I found one I'm sure you will like. It's been out for a few years, but it's still a good movie." he said trying to keep from blushing as his hand clenched near her back but refused to touch it. He knew she would not be comfortable with this, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare her more.
Kyoko looked up at him as the words of the upcoming movie shown on the screen, her eyes went wide and she turned to Ren, her eyes shining as the fairies of her fantasies came to life. "Really? You have this movie? We can really watch it?" she asked, trying to keep from squealing with glee. She had been wanting to see this movie for a while, but couldn't due to her long hours of work and her lack of money.
Ren had to hide a smile at her genuine joy. Leave it to Kyoko to get this excited over a kid's movie. Then again, it was a princess movie. He figured Kyoko had to be in fantasy heaven right about now. He nodded and pressed play on the TV as they gathered around the table to watch the movie. He sat next to her and thought to the last time they had watched TV together. He normally didn't enjoy watching the TV. It was only good for analyzing plays and movies for work after all, but when she was there, he got swept up in her wild fantasies same as the typhoon outside was sweeping up the rain. He found it just as enjoyable as she did.
In the cluster of the storm, as it raged outside, the warm glow of two lovers shown inside the warm apartment. And while they may not have said the words that needed to be said, if anyone saw them, there was no doubt to the emotion they both held for the other.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the storm was raging not just outside the doors, but inside the heart of Yori. The conversation between Yashiro and her had played itself over and over in her mind.
As Yashiro got into the car, he turned towards Yori, all hints of goodwill vanished from his face as he readjusted his glasses, "you know, it won't work." he said, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he adjusted his position back to facing forward in the seat. Yori took a deep breath as she smiled, her eyes shut to hide their true animosity, "whatever are you talking about Yashiro-san? Where do I need to take you again?" she asked, forcing her body to keep the conversation civil. She returned her eyes to the road as she drove down the roads back but away from the direction to the LME building. Yashiro watched her with a wary look on his face from his peripheral, "the LME building will be fine. I can get the paperwork I need and then get myself home from there." he said. Yori gave a snort and then looked at Yashiro before returning her attention to the road, "Come on, Yashiro. You and I both know you don't have paperwork to bring home. You just didn't want me interfering with your One True Pair. Now come on, I need an address to take you home to."
Yashiro stared at her with a mixture of anger and confusion before giving her his address. Yori asked Yashiro to input the destination (after putting on gloves first) and Yori began driving towards the destination. Her hands clenched tight around the steering wheel to give an outlet for the frustration and anger she felt. Yashiro must have noticed her clenched jaw because he gave a smirk, "you must be feeling really frustrated right now right Matsua-san?"
Yori's fists clenched tighter but she smiled as wide as she could, her eyes firmly centered on the road to keep Yashiro to see how dark they had gotten, "whatever do you mean Yashiro-san? Kyoko has succeeded in her audition as a Victoria's Secret Angel. This means that she is set up for an ongoing job for the next eight months. Not to mention that Angels tend to get good roles in action movies, TV shows, and other media due to good exposure. Why would I be upset? This is a good chance for Kyoko." She said brightly, focusing on the cars in front of her even if her mind was centered on the manager's next thoughts. Surely he couldn't see through her right? She had managed to hold her emotions that tightly right? Not a chance.
Yashiro chuckled and responded, "I suppose so, if you actually wanted Kyoko to succeed. Problems is Matsua-san, you and I both know you wanted her to fail today. And you thought she would. no…you were depending on her failure." he said, his eyes going wide in realization. His gaze turned discriminating as he watched her fists clench tight around the wheel, confirming his suspicions. She was doing well to hide it and anyone from the outside would never be able to tell, but Yashiro had spent long enough time around Ren, actors, and scheming show business corporates to know when someone was hiding their emotions. Yashiro may seem like a fangirling manager, but underneath it, he was still one of the best at his job, something he prided himself on.
"There's just one thing that bothers me Matsua-san," he continued, watching her dark gaze from the corner of his eye. "As you have said, this is a good chance for Kyoko, which in contrast means an excellent chance for you as a manager. Getting your client to become a Victoria's Secret Angel on the first day is impressive and all the jobs that will open up for her will be great for your reputation as a new manager, so why do you not seem happy about it? That is what puzzles me. Care to elaborate?" He asked, giving Yori a curious stare with his dark eyes meeting Yori's grey ones.
For a second, as lightning flashed, Yashiro could swear he saw the face of a demon staring at him, her dark grey eyes slate as steel and her hands clenched so tightly, Yashiro could swear she was pretending to strangle him. Fear leapt in his chest for that moment, before it was over and Yori had returned to her smirking face. "I would love to explain my actions Yashiro-san, I have nothing to hide, but as you can see…" she unlocked the door of her car, "We have arrived at your house and if that lightning is any indicator, there is to be a storm. You should probably go." She said, her tone dropping it's business quality for sheer coldness on the last line.
Yashiro caught it, and while the safe part of him longed for the safety of his apartment, the brave (albeit stupid) part of him wanted to see if he could uncover the mysterious woman's evil plot. "You are quite right Matsua-san. I am never one to leave a woman in the rain. Could I offer you a place to stay? At least until the rain stops?" he asked, hoping she would oblige to get more information out of her.
But Yori, it seems was ready for this, as she smirked and responded, "Yashiro-san, it would not do well for two managers to be seen going into the same apartment. As you have previously said, Kyoko's fame is mine, and as such, your shame of consorting with random women, could also be seen as negative on your client Ren. Do you really want him to be seen as a playboy because of you? I can think of one girl who would hate to hear that her beloved senpai is the womanizer she fears him to be." her smirk grew at her underlying threat. From the outside, it just seemed as though Yori had been being a kind and assertive fellow manager, to warn Yashiro of the mistake, but unbeknownst to the outsiders, as the lightning flashed in the storm, a mental war was being waged between two strong opponents.
Yashiro nodded and bowed, "you're quite right, Matsua-san. Forgive me." he bowed slightly to hold back his sneer. She had won this round. But he swore silently he would win the next…or maybe…he smirked, "you know, we probably should have warned Kyoko and Ren about the upcoming storm, but luckily Ren has a room prepared for Kyoko in case this happens. Good thing right Matsua-san? After all, wouldn't want Kyoko going home sick in this storm." he smirked as he turned from the car.
He heard the door slam and smiled inwardly. He knew it was a little cheap, but it felt nice to hit her as low as she had tried to hit them. He turned to her with a bright smile and made the motion to lower the windows. Yori seethed, but curiosity got the best of her as she rolled the window down. "What?!" she asked, no longer caring about keeping up the facade. Her heart had started to pound and she knew what was next. She just wanted this to be over. Yashiro smiled sweetly at her, a sickening grin to rival even Ren's "gentleman smile" as Kyoko so dubbed it. "Matsua-san, you haven't been around here for very long so let me give you some friendly advice. Kyoko is a lot stronger than you think, and she's not as alone as even she likes to believe she is. You keep trying to mess with her, and all of us will get in your way." than his face warped into a glare, "here me now Matsua-san, if you hurt her, or if this is a plot for Sho Fuwa or anyone else, I will personally ensure you are taken down." His sickly sweet smile returned, "I look forward to working with you again Matsua-san." He said, leaving just as the sprinkles of the storm began to crash.
Fortunately and also ironically, Yori's newly rented apartment wasn't that far so she managed to get home before the worst of the storm began to pour. But that did nothing for the rage that was building in her heart. With her back stiff in the darkness, Yori opened the fridge, letting the lightbulb illuminate her face. Hers was a face twisted in hatred and anger. She clenched her chest as she pulled on her blouse. Ripping it off as fast as she could, buttons flying off as her breath became labored. "not yet." she muttered as she wrenched the cabinets open, her breathing getting harder and shorter. Her vision began to blur as she pressed her palm to her chest while the other pushed past the cabinets until she found the little orange bottle she was looking for. Wrenching the cap open and tossing two tablets in, she downed her water before collapsing to the countertop, using only her arms to hold up her body.
She waited until her breathing became somewhat steady before tossing the cup in the sink. Thankfully it was plastic or it would've shattered. "Damn it!" she shouted, pounding her fist on the counter top. "This can't happen now. Not now! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" she shouted, feeling the tears prick her eyes at the pain. The ringing of a phone alerted her. She pulled out her phone and looked at the caller ID "Boss (AKA Witch)" She groaned as she calmed her heart before answering the phone, "What do you want?" she asked, her voice full of spite.
"Is that anyway to talk to your mother?" She heard a cold voice ask with sarcasm. Yori snorted, "Mother? Don't even kid me. What do you want Saena?" Yori asked, her voice dripping with venom. "Yori, I employed you to pull Kyoko out of show business. So why have I just seen an announcement on the Victoria's Secret blog site that she is their new model, "Rose?" Yori smirked to herself with exasperation, "Sometimes, I really forget how efficient press is for Victoria's Secret. They must have notified their publicity department after the first shoot."
"I don't care about that Yori! You promised me that you would pull her out of show business. I don't see her being pulled out, in fact, with this she'll be more involved than ever! Now, I hope you're not planning on double-crossing me. While I wouldn't doubt it with your genetics, I would hope your brain is not as feeble to forget what I offered you."
Yori grit her teeth and clenched her fists around the orange bottle that she hadn't let go of yet. "Yes, I'm still aware Saena. Painfully so." She sneered, tears pricking in her eyes. "Good. Well, don't forget Yori. You have only eight months to pull her out and keep her out. If not…" She trailed off as Yori's chest gave another painful thump and Yori finished, "you don't need to explain Saena. I know." She took a deep breath and swallowed before speaking, not willing to give Saena the satisfaction to hear that she was in pain, or scared. "But, if she doesn't leave of her own volition, neither I or you will be able to keep her out. She has to leave by herself. I figure if I can use her fear of rejection, her need to be accepted and perfect, and her low self-esteem and confidence, I can scare her away from show business. Permanently."
"Well you better hope your plan works Yori. For your sake. As far as I'm aware you don't have more than eight months right?" she snickered. Yori cut the phone off as her chest thumped harder. "Damn it you witch, if circumstances were different, you would pay for everything! Damn you! Damn it!" tears fell freely from her face now as she stared at the orange bottle with hatred. "Damn you witch. Damn it!" she shouted. Silence permeated the dark apartment as she cried and gripped the counter tightly. Her knuckles became white as she squeezed the counter as tight as she could. In the darkness, another ring sounded through the silence. Yori swallowed the painful lump in her throat and chest before looking at the caller ID "Annoying Help"
She gave a sigh and answered, "I was wondering when I'd get your call Dr. Sarrow. But I'm curious why calling me now? It's 1:00 PM in America, so surely you'd know it's 2:00 AM here right?" she gave a sigh, but inside, she was relieved. A kind voice responded, a vast contrast from the last caller. "I know you Yori. You never sleep until 4:00 AM at least. So how's Japan? Did you find your sister?" Yori sighed and stepped slowly back to the couch, taking in gulps of air she felt like she'd not had for the past few hours. "One. She's not my sister Dr. Sarrow. She's my stepsister. Two. You know that, yet you continually call her my "sister" just to annoy me." She laughed as she heard the response. "One. If she's family, she's your sister regardless of the mother being different. Two. It's fun to annoy you. And Three. I've told you many times to call me Avery. We are friends first, I just so happen to help you with your medical…um"
"tragedy?" Yori offered with a sad grin. "I was going to say "difficulties" Avery responded with a sad laugh. "How is the medicine working?" Yori heard Avery's gentle tone in her voice, "it's…passable I suppose. Definitely better than if I was without it. But I'm almost out." she said with a grimace. Avery sighed, "I figured that. Luckily, I managed to convince Saena to let me send you more under the guise of being simple "painkillers." She thinks they'll help you to finish your mission faster."
"Always looking at the priority. That's Saena. So how long until I can get some?" she asked. Avery took a minute to work on the computer before responding, "you can get it tomorrow. Along with your other medication." Silence reigned over the phone and Avery sighed, "you are taking your other medication right? This medication is useless if you have another anxiety attack Yori. That will only work to Saena's advantage." Avery chided Yori gently. Yori responded, "Yes, I'm still taking it, but I was more pressed about my body that's trying to kill me first." she sighed and held a hand to her fast beating heart, "I only have a few more months. Maybe a year at most. You and I both know this Avery. You saw my file when you had me transferred to you as my doctor."
Avery sighed. "you know Yori, I've seen more heart murmur patients live for years. With medication to help monitor your anxiety and keep your heart steady, and beta blockers and statins to help with your aortic sclerosis, you can be okay." "Don't throw that optimistic crap at me Avery!" Yori shouted, holding onto her chest, "I'm already experiencing pain, and the murmurs are lasting longer. I experienced two times with shortness of breath today. You and I both know that the surgery is my only chance." she cried, tears falling onto her bare chest. "This is the only way, Avery. You and I both know that." she sighed.
Avery took a deep breath, "Yori. We could find another way to do the surgery. You wouldn't have to cut off the only person that you've been close to." Yori took a breath and steadied her emotions before responding. "One. The surgery can only be done with Saena's help. She holds all the cards right now. And she knows it. I need her help. Two. I would have had the surgery by now if Kyoko had just stayed in Kyoto. Actually, if she had never been born this never would have happened!" She took a deep breath as she heard Avery's calming voice, "Yori, keep your heart calm. It won't do you any good to get excited. Why do you still blame her? She's not Saena."
Yori shook her head furiously, "No Avery, she's not Saena. Yet. but I saw it this morning. When I saw those gold eyes. Those same eyes of Saena. Those cold steel gold eyes. The eyes that freeze you with hatred. I saw them in her. She lacks the same love as Saena." Avery was silenced as Yori continued, "For now, Kyoko continues to play dumb and innocent. And everyone seems to believe it. But she's got the same capability to be just as manipulative and cruel as Saena." her voice lowered as she finished, "Dr. Sarrow. This started out as me fulfilling a requirement to get the surgery I need, but I refuse to let Kyoko have fame, fortune, friends and family when her heart is so closed off to love. She'll end up using them. I know it."
Avery sighed, "you know, you might be projecting your anger of Saena onto Kyoko. There's no indication she'll become like Saena." but Yori's heart clenched with fear and anger, "no. I saw it. She'll become like Saena. She thinks she's the victim and doesn't mind hurting others to get her revenge. She got into show business for the point of revenge. And if she succeeds? It will only lead her down the same path as Saena." Avery sighed, "but if you do succeed in pulling her out, Saena's plan will be fulfilled. You'll lose everything. Are you sure you're okay with that." Yori gave a sad smile as she pulled out her computer, searching for new places of work for Kyoko, "I've had nothing for a while now. There's nothing more to gain but a heart, and if Saena does follow through on that promise, I'll be able to have health. If she doesn't, than I'll die before I see Kyoko become like her mother. Either way, I'm okay." Before Avery could respond, Yori finished, "I have to go. I've found some new work for Kyoko and hopefully this will do the job." she clicked off her phone as she zoomed in on the job. 'Using Kyoko's insecurity of her appearance didn't work. But there's other ways to pull her away. This could be just enough to sneak by Lory under the guise of giving Kyoko what she's always wanted, while at the same time, driving her far away from show business.' she thought, plotting Kyoko's demise with fearful thoughts in her head. Thoughts of a deadline fast approaching.
"Rapunzel," Kyoko watched with tear-filled eyes on the screen as the handsome thief ran his hands through Rapunzel's now short brown locks, "you were my new dream" he whispered as his eyes began to shut. Rapunzel's tears fell from her face with a sad smile, "and you were mine."
Kyoko cried in her hands as she watched it. Ren turned to her with a smile, "why are you so upset Mogami-san? It's Disney. they won't kill off their main characters. You know that." he smiled though, in spite of himself. It was nice to see Kyoko enjoying the movie (even though right now she was crying through it) Kyoko turned to Ren and wiped her eyes with a smile, "I'm sorry Tsuruga-sempai. It's just…it's so nice to see such a great dream of love," at Ren's raised eyebrow in surprise Kyoko quickly finished with a blush, "because, it doesn't exist in real life. Love just makes people stupid in real life, but it's nice to see in a dream that love can be beautiful." she finished, hoping that he wouldn't pry further.
Ren looked at Kyoko with a discriminating stare. Why would she be so adamantly against love, but then enjoy seeing it for other people (even cartoons?) it didn't make sense. Unless…'no. I won't get my hopes up. Kyoko's love me member number 1 after all.' he thought despairingly. 'But still' he thought…'I have to know for sure'. "Mogami-san, what do you mean? Can you explain it?" he asked, trying to broach the subject carefully, as though keeping from startling a frightened rabbit.
Kyoko's heart leapt to her chest as she stared at the inquisitive brown eyes at her. How was she to answer this? Correction, how was she to answer this without opening up the locked box! 'Never should have said anything! He lured us in with a great Disney movie, but this was his evil goal!' her demons shouted at her. Her kind spirits (damaged but still intact) peeked out from the dark corners of her mind where she had tossed them, 'maybe we could be honest? We already know we like him, what harm could it do?' rejected as the demons pounded the remaining kind spirits into dust. Kyoko took a deep breath,
"Well, Tsuruga-sempai, it's like this." she began explaining as the movie continued on to it's happy ever after. "In this story, when people say things to each other, they mean it. They're not trying to get anything from them, nor are their motives double standard. Because they are plot characters. That character." she said, pointing to the handsome thief, "is destined to fall in love with that character." she said, now pointing at the young princess. "it's been written from the start. No deviation possible. No hidden motives to be seen." She said, lowering her eyes as she saw Ren's eyes turn hurt, "people aren't like that. There's always something they want from you. They don't care about how you feel. They just want what they want. Regardless of what that means." she said, her eyes lowering in hurt.
Ren was shocked to speechlessness. For the first time, Kyoko was showing a weakness to him. True, it hurt deep inside to hear how critical she was of people, but it was a step forward. A small step, but a step nonetheless. "Mogami-san, do you truly believe everyone is like that?" he asked gently.
Kyoko looked up, her eyes pricking with tears, "you're going to tell me I'm wrong?! Name one person that has no hidden motives! One person that doesn't want anything from me!" she cried with sadness. Her mind had been transported to a dark room full of shadows. Shadows of her demons. But these demons were not the demons that she used for her shield. No, these demons were the demons that she never wanted to think about. Shadows of people that wanted to hurt her. Sho, her mother, and now, Yori. Not to mention the paparazzi, the movie director that used her to make an actress act, those she did love me acts for, and countless other shadows in the darkness. She felt overwhelmed and sat down in the middle of the dark room and cried painfully. "for once, i want someone to want me, just because they want me. Not because they want something from me, not expecting me to be perfect and get everything right, not waiting for me to mess up, but will accept me and want me even though I know I'm messed up!" she cried.
Ren watched her with sadness and felt his heart clench. He felt the same. He knew how she felt, and judging from her rocking back and forth and clenched into a ball, she was probably experiencing the same panic attacks he felt when someone asked him about Rick. He didn't know it, but he had stepped into a landmine of Kyoko's psyche. And now he had to fix it. "Mogami-san, can you hear me?" he asked gently.
Kyoko looked up from inside the dark room as the insults she had heard her entire life came berating down on her. A gentle voice could be heard through it, but she couldn't place it. She could see a silhouette of a person, but was too afraid to see clearly. Besides what could it be besides another person that wanted to hurt her, or use her? "Mogami-san?" the gentle voice sounded again. "Mogami-san? I want to listen to me okay?" Kyoko just tightened her grip on her arms as she waited for the voice to yell at her. "I want you for you. I stay with you because it's you. Honestly, spending time with you is the most wonderful time for me. No matter what flaws you have or you think you have, I still want you." the gentle voice now had hands that touched her hands on her arms, "do you understand Kyoko?" now the voice had changed it's pronunciation of her name, but oddly it felt nice to her. It was gentle and swaying.
"I've wanted you from the very first time you saw me fly. I've wanted you from the moment I found your stone in that hallway. I've wanted you from the moment you helped me to conquer my fears of my father's shadow." as the voice continued on, Kyoko looked up at the silhouette. She knew this person. The voice was so familiar. It was a voice that could calm her, strengthen her, push her and scold her. But above all else, it was a voice that she hoped in her secret box of hidden feelings that loved her as much as she loved him. "Ren?" she asked as he came into focus. 'This must be a dream. I'm dreaming. I just watched a Disney movie with a prince telling this to his love, and now I'm imagining Ren like him, just like when I did it in the shoot. I have to press down these emotions, or I'll just get hurt, and lose Ren as my senpai and friend.' she looked up at him and thought, 'might as well enjoy the dream, since I'll never live it.' "Thank you Ren. I always feel better after I talk to you." she said, a gentle smile growing on her face as she looked up at Ren's gentle smile looking down at her. As the exhaustion from the panic attack and the stress from the shoot overwhelmed her she closed her eyes in sleep.
Ren felt her weight increase as he heard the soft breathing of her sleep. He smiled with pain. He didn't think that Kyoko had meant what she had said. He knew better than anyone that people say all sorts of things during a panic attack and couldn't be taken literally. But still. Seeing her look up at him with such a gentle and open smile, the likes of which he has only seen a mere handful of times, seeing her call him by his first name and admit that he has a good effect on her, well, it made his heart soar. 'for once, I'm not causing her pain.' he thought, quickly silencing the dark voice that reminded him it was his fault she had the panic attack in the first place.
He knew he couldn't leave her to sleep on the floor again, she had already done that once and he was not going to let it happen again while he was able. Scooping her up into his chest, he walked her to the guest room that he had set up in the apartment. Cradling her gently, he placed her on the bed and pulled up the sheets and covers around her. He didn't feel right removing her clothes, so while it was improper, she would sleep in the clothes she had worn for the day. As he turned to leave, he heard a gentle voice, almost like the mewing of a cat,
"Ren?" he heard Kyoko whisper. He turned to her and sat down on the corner of the bed to reassure her that he was still there, "Ren? Will you stay with me? no matter what happens?" her voice sounded so small now. As though the little girl Kyoko had taken over and was speaking her true thoughts. Ren smiled gently as a pang hit his heart. He knew he shouldn't be taking it seriously. He knew it was only because he was the one that helped to calm her from the attack, but it was too much for him. To hear the girl he loved ask him to stay with him always, he couldn't put up the mask he normally did when someone else would breach the question. "Always Kyoko. You are my dream. To be with you, is all I desire." he kissed her forehead gently and knelt by her bed, waiting until the brow furrowed in her sleep finally relaxed.
He stood up when he was satisfied that she was sleeping soundly. The dark thought of sleeping in the same bed as her flashed but he knew that she was an early riser, and if she woke up before he did and found him sleeping in the same bed, it could wreck all the progress that they had made. So, with a heavy heart he closed the door and walked down to his bed, climbing in after dressing in his pajamas. One thing was certain now. Kyoko had some kind of feelings for him, though how deep he didn't know. And two, he was more determined than ever to protect her. She was so fragile with her trust. He wouldn't break his no matter what. And no matter who he was against, Yori, Sho, Reino, even her mother, he be damned sure they wouldn't hurt her again. Not if he had anything to say about it.
I don't know how to say sorry for taking this long to upload this chapter, but hopefully you all enjoy it. I'm so sorry. I'm working to keep uploading it regardless of my emotions, and I don't plan on giving up any time soon. Thank you all for the encouragement and chastising :) I needed it. Thank you.
For those that are interested, I did publish a book that's available in Barnes and Noble, Amazon, iTunes just to name a few. It's called Last Believer Chronicles I: Chosen Child. It's a Christian Fantasy that tells the story of a girl who lives in a world that doesn't believe in God. She feels worthless from her world that tells her she is nothing and has no purpose except to be used by others. Her teacher finds a Bible and she is tossed in the midst of this struggle between God and her world. If you are interested it's written underneath my name Anilyn Shaw. Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
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