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Possession

Seven

Previously...

"We're walking a dangerous line Katniss," he whispered while his lips softly brushed against mine.

I opened my eyes and locked them with his. I knew what was happening wasn't supposed to happen, I knew nothing good could come of it especially when we were both destined to please the likes of rich Capitol's but we weren't there yet.

I wanted something pure with someone, something true and not forced before the men of the Capitol were unleashed upon me. I wanted something real. I wanted someone I wanted.I want Finnick.

It was dangerous but then my life was... Finnick was worth the risk,isn't he?...

I stared at him, his sea-green eyes staring at me with a mixture of emotions. It wasn't love. Neither of us was in love with the other but there was a connection, I had felt the moment we met. We understood each other and I needed that. I needed someone to understand.

"Yes, we are," I whispered. We were so close that my lips brushed against his as I spoke igniting every nerve in my body. I felt alive, I felt like I was on fire which was fitting and ironic.

I swallowed back my nerves. I was petrified of intimacy but I was with Finnick, he kept me safe, he made me feel safe. I wanted to know what it felt like, to feel pleasure just for the sake of pleasure... Finnick could give me that.

"I want to know what its like," I began. "I want it to be natural, untaught before you have to start teaching me how to please a man." I had looked away from him, staring at the trees behind him as I spoke. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment but I continued. "I want to know what it's really like before I have to fake everything."

Finnick pinched my chin softly and turned my head so I was staring right at him. His eyes held so many emotions and I wondered if I looked the same, I concluded it was likely.

"I understand," Finnick whispered his voice as soft as velvet.

He caught my lips with his with no further words. The water lapped against my skin as we fell into a comfortable dance, our lips moving in perfect timing and our tongues dancing to some unknown rhythm. I got lost in Finnick's kiss and his gentle caresses. His hands glided down my sides warming me against the chill of the air and the water that surrounded us.

I had wanted it to be natural and in the woods, with only the birds singing around us, well, it didn't get much more natural.

The gentle kiss grew, developed and turned into something more, something hungry. My legs wrapped around his hips and his hands found their way to my rear, holding me against him as he pressed my back against the bank of the lake. My senses were on overdrive, my skin was tingling with all the new sensations and my heart was pounding with excitement. I found myself clawing Finnick's back when his hands slipped from my rear and travelled to my thighs.

My eyes flew open. I knew the destination of his hands and it frightened me. I had never been touched there and though I wanted it, I also didn't. I was, plainly put; scared.

Feeling my body tense and seeing my unease Finnick softly smiled and brushed his lips softly against mine. "Trust me," he whispered the same words I had only hours previous whispered to him.

I smiled softly and nodded slowly.

He leaned his forehead against mine and kept my eyes locked with his and his hands travelled up my thighs, his nimble fingers dancing over my skin making me pant softly in anticipation.

His fingers slid under the seam of my fancy lace underwear and brushed against my lower lips. I couldn't help but gasp, the contact was indescribably but as one of his fingers slowly slid into me I could only think of how incredibly it felt and how nothing could feel better... could it?

He smiled, looking overly proud as, no doubt, a look of ecstasy settled upon my features. My head fell back slightly as he continued his ministration on my body setting every part of me on fire and even the water around us did nothing to cool the raging inferno within me. It was when my legs began to shake slightly and the knot that had settled in my stomach began to tighten further that the fear came back.

I began to panic once more, not knowing what in the world was happening.

Finnick seeing my panic only smiled softly "relax, let it happen."

So I did.

It had built and built and built, curling my toes and making my whole body quiver. Then the sensation washed through me, making me head roll back and my mouth drop open as Finnick's name tumbled from my lips along with several rather loud and embarrassing noises. It was different, it was uncontrollable... it was one of the best yet peculiar feelings.

Once the stars had disappeared from before my eyes I took in Finnick's expression. The look in his eyes made me blush but there was no time to feel embarrassed at the loud guttural sounds that had only just left me because Finnick was upon me in a second.

His lips crashed against mine with a hungry need that once again sparked the fire inside of me. I ran my hands down his bare back, feeling his muscles rippling beneath my fingers. I did what came naturally, I followed my instincts as I ran my hands down his back only to move them to the front of his body and trace his toned chest before sliding my hands up his chest to entangle them in his sodden hair.

He made a primal sound, an animalistic growl as we kiss and before I knew it I was being lifted out the water. Finnick laid me down on the grass a few steps away from the bank of the lake. He lowered himself on top of me, resting on his arms as to not crush me. He kissed me again, this time slowly.

Soon we rid ourselves of our underwear and then, after a few more gentle touches and kisses it was time. Finnick kissed the tip of my nose before he whispered, "I'm sorry this is going to hurt."

I bit my lip. I knew it would... and it did... but then the pain slowly gave way to pleasure. I had never believed something could feel so good but it did. Maybe it was because it was Finnick but whatever the reason, I was glad I had asked Finnick to be my first. To show me how pleasurable it could be for me before teaching me how to please a man.

Afterwards we laid side by side, I didn't care that I was probably filthy, in fact I could feel the mud plastered to my back but I didn't care, I was too happy, to full of pleasure and to weak from it to carry myself to the lake to wash away the grim.

Finnick shifted beside me, turning onto his side to face me. I glanced at him, suddenly remembering we were both very naked. I, of course, blushed but I didn't hurry to cover myself up. I had to get used to being naked at some point and it seemed only right to start by feeling comfortable around Finnick.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly while brushing away a piece of my hair that had strayed.

I smiled softly, "good."

To that he grinned and I rolled my eyes. "Your way to cocky for your own good Mr Odair," I said laughing softly. In fact, at times, I found it endearing.

He just continued to grin. "You love it Miss Everdeen."

I rolled my eyes once more but something struck a chord within me. I do love it but that didn't mean I was falling in love with him...does it?

Possession

"You're not being seductive," Johanna said with a long sigh. "I don't feel it."

I sighed. I was having my usual lesson with Johanna but I couldn't concentrate, I was distracted which was to be expected after what had happened earlier that day. It was all because of Finnick Odair! We had crossed the line, we both knew it.

I didn't know how to feel, I was confused, I had so many feelings coursing through me that were foreign and so immediately they scared me, the unknown always did.

"I'm sorry," I said before lowering myself onto the edge of the bed beside her.

I couldn't be seductive when I was a mess. I couldn't be seductive when I was obsessing over what I was feeling for a certain heartthrob of the Capitol. I wondered if I could, should, speak to Johanna about it. Would she understand? I had a feeling she would most likely laugh and brush it off. She wasn't one to have heart to heart talks but she was the only woman I could talk to.

So I took the chance.

"I'm distracted," I began. I glanced at her out the corner of my eye to see her watching me, a bored yet curious expression on her face and so I continued. "Something happened earlier, with Finnick and now I don't know what to do... or feel."

Johanna stared at me for a while longer before finally letting out a long low breath. She got up and walked to the oak chest and grabbed a bottle out of one of the draws. "I think this might be a better conversation with a drink, don't you?"

I smiled and nodded. The familiar burn down the back of my throat was welcome and calmed my nerves if only a little. I cupped the glass in my hand and composed myself. I had never been one to talk about my feelings and so the conversation I was about to have was going to be tough... for the both of us as Johanna was like me in many ways.

"Finnick and I slept together," I blurted out; the words tumbling from my lips before I could stop them. I groaned in embarrassment, I was starting to believe there was nothing that I could do or say that I wouldn't end up embarrassing myself.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Johanna started laughing. I knew she'd just laugh. I felt slightly hurt at her reaction but of course, me being me, I didn't cry or sulk... I punched her, hard, in the arm.

"I'm having a serious problem," I all but growled at her.

Johanna composed herself quickly before speaking, "You were always going to have to sleep together. He's teaching you, remember!"

I bit my lip and then blushed when I thought of Finnick. The way his eyes darkened whenever he saw my lip between my teeth.

"That's the thing," I whispered. "He wasn't teaching me," I glanced at her seeing realisation and shock flashing over Johanna features. "It was pure, untaught and..." I trailed off. Johanna didn't need to know what it was like, only that it had happened so she could explain to me what it was that was happening, what I was feeling.

She stayed silent for a while and the silence began to get too much. I was on the edge of my seat, waiting, wondering what she was going to say. What she thought. I was new to the world of sex and feelings, of course I had feelings, normal love for family and friends but I never expressed them and when I did it was only with Prim and once upon a time Gale. But the new feelings were something I had never encountered before and I needed help and guidance; I needed advice.

Finally Johanna spoke but her question through me completely. "Are you in love Finnick?"

I frowned, opened and closed my mouth while words evaded me. My uncertainty was one of the things I needed help with, I needed someone to explain to me, help me understand what I felt for Finnick.

"I don't think so, I love him but I don't think I'm in love with him," I said slowly, unsure of my own words, my own thoughts and feelings. I was a mess! "I don't know how I feel," I finally said huffing dramatically while throwing my arms up in the air, which was equally dramatic.

Johanna smiled, "then don't worry about it."

I frowned and stared at her with uncertainty. "That's your advice?"

She shrugged but sighed when she saw that I wasn't going to let it go.

"You're confused; all this is new to you. You're bound to feel attached to Finnick and confused about how you feel about him. In time, if you still feel the same, then you should talk to him about it but for now," she paused taking a breath. She reached out and uncharacteristically took hold of my hand. "You need to concentrate on what's to come. You need to learn how to be please the Capitol men; you need to become the perfect courtesan."

I sighed, it made sense but there was a part of me that knew that I couldn't just pretend what had happened with Finnick hadn't happened. It was etched into my memory, his touches burned onto my skin. I had a feeling that in time I would still be as confused as I was then about the one and only Finnick Odair.

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