Other Side of Impossibility 5: Sakumo & Rin
FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT SAKUMO IS NOT DEAD (yet) IN THE LATEST EI CHAPTER.
HE'S ALIIIIIIIIVE (although barely).
No, seriously, he just stabbed himself, but as I've written in EI, he's still breathing (and choking on his own blood but eh, details). It's currently 50:50 whether I have him survive or not. So, don't grieve just yet, lmao.
Warnings: self hatred, self deprecating thoughts
For all that his abilities as a ninja have been insulted and thought of as trash, he is still a ninja. Although somewhat an unstable one.
And... And he thinks he's been getting better. Rin always gives him the same honest smile and it helps more than any other words she can possibly say. She talked to Kakashi and Kakashi forgave him, and even though he knows that his son acknowledges that the war is his fault, it's okay, because his son forgave him, and is willing to give him another chance.
Even still it's hard to look at his son.
It's hard to look at his one and only son, his brilliant son, who gets into trouble because of this war.
He thinks he'll be able to handle it if it's just him they hate, if it's just him they insult and spit on.
But his son is suffering because of him. Because of his mistake.
His son is the one who has to face the scrutiny of the villagers, civilians and shinobi alike.
His son is the one who they badmouth on daily basis.
His son who has done nothing wrong but love and be entirely loyal to this village. Who grows stronger with leap and bounds, faster than anybody, better than anybody. Who will be a great asset to Konoha one day.
And it scares him as much as it angers him.
They should've just hated the White Fang and the White Fang alone. Not drag his son into this.
What if his son ends up hating Konoha?
What if his son ends up hating the village and everything inside it merely because of their misplaced hatred?
What if Konoha, in its hatred, uses Kakashi's loyalty against him? It's not entirely farfetched for them to do so, he's seen what other Hidden Villages can do and who is to say that Konoha won't fall to that sort of thing?
As much as he loves Konoha, Sakumo can't help but resent it for hating on his son.
Hate me, he wants to say. Don't hate him. Just hate me.
But who will even listen to the pleas of a scum?
He hears it when Kakashi gets angry, when he kicks Rin out of the room because he thinks she's stealing Sakumo away from him and Sakumo is struck with realization on how in the midst of his attempt to prevent any more people associating him with his son, his son is hurt.
Because of him.
Him and his fucking stupid attempt to stay away from his son as much as possible, to have him grow as himself and not as the White Fang's, the failure's shadow.
And when he smells tears, he thinks he's failed both his son and his bestfriend, as well.
"I'm sorry," he says, when Rin comes after his wolf summon drags her into the compound.
The girl, who is so brilliant, so understanding, so honest and so kind he thinks he doesn't deserve all of her support, looks at him and patiently waits.
"About Kakashi," he whispers, watching the miniscule tightening of her shoulders. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have relied on you too much." That sentence almost make him laugh to himself. Look at him, he thinks bitterly, the White Fang relying his mental health on an eight year old genin.
"He'll come around," he finds himself babbling a little bit. "Kakashi likes you, and you're his first friend, and Kakashi isn't always like this, I'm sorry, he's a really great kid. He's just, he's just stressed. Give him- give him some time, please," because Kakashi can't lose his friend in this hell, not now. "I'm sure he still thinks of you as his friend. He's just... He's just... Please."
Sakumo takes one look at the girl, and he feels himself crack even more.
"I'm very sorry," he whispers hoarsely. He is, he's truly sorry. This is all because of him. He should be damn sorry.
Rin looks at him with so much understanding it hurts.
"It's okay, Sakumo-san." No, no, it's not okay. I destroyed your friendship, which part of it is okay?
"I know Kakashi is just upset," she shrugs, "I'll give him space, but I won't leave him behind."
She smiles at him, soft and easy, and he remembers on how his own wife used to smile at him just like that. "I've forgiven him, alright? Don't worry."
Sakumo thinks Kakashi is fairly lucky he has her as a friend, whereas his own teammates-his comrades, friends, the people he will trust his life on-has abandoned him so easily (the scar of betrayal from those he considers as pack will never ever ever fade, and that fact is the main source of his pain. For all of these hatred, he could've handled them if his teammates didn't betray him).
"You should talk to him more, Sakumo-san," Rin says, her hands stroking his wolf's fur. "You're his father, and as much as you need Kakashi, Kakashi needs you."
"I know," he says. Truly, he knows, but the shame that he's the one at fault for Kakashi's pain is too much that he can't bear looking at his face. For when he sees Kakashi, he's reminded on how his son is hurting because of him. "I know."
She stares at him as if she knows exactly what he thinks of, and gives him a tight lipped smile.
"You have to try. For his sake, ne?"
"I know," he breathes out. "I will try."
Whoop, I hope I explained Sakumo's reasoning pretty clearly in this chapter. It will be further explained in EI's next chapter but shRUGS, it depends if he lives lmao.
Anyway, preview for the next chapter(s)!
The figure looks down at the still form of Hatake Sakumo, and thinks.
'Hatake Sakumo is supposed to be dead.'
'Hatake Sakumo has to die.'
Later, they can't help but think, that Nohara Rin has to die, as well.
(Erasing Impossibility 12: Star & Hierophant)
Uchiha Mikoto loves her student very much.
(Other Side of Impossibility 6: Uchiha Mikoto)