"Yeowch!"

"Oof!"

"Ouch…"

"Eek!"

A mind-bending moment passed as each goddess left one dimension and entered another. The next moment, they were all piled into a heap upon the ground.

"Owwww…" cried Neptune. "You didn't all have to land on top of me! Oh, my poor spleen…"

"Eheheh. At least I had something to cushion the fall," remarked Vert.

"That was…painful," spoke Blanc as she grimaced.

"Oh, what a bunch of babies," said Noire, who was attempting to pick herself up from the tangle of limbs.

"You didn't have three hundred pounds of goddess land on your back!" Neptune whined.

"I wonder…where could this place be?" Vert asked as she managed to rise to her feet, her dress somehow immaculate despite having been pressed into the grass only moments prior. The portal behind them had mysteriously vanished as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving behind only the faintest tinge of static in the air.

"Hm. It seems that we are within a forest," was Blanc's astute deduction. "How quaint."

"Oh, right! This is the low level dungeon where we have our combat tutorial!" Neptune seemed to have recovered rather quickly.

"We're not in a video game this time, Neptune," explained Blanc. "We don't have any credits or experience to grind. In fact, our abilities are completely limited by what the author dictates."

"Aw! How lame! I wanted to beat up some dogoos!" Neptune turned her head to the sky, which was as bright and sunny as its equivalent in their previous world. "Hey, writer! Gimme some enemies to beat up!"

"Now, now, Neptune. You can't just force the author to do what you want. After all, even your very existence is decided by—"

At that instant, a dogoo appeared from behind a tree, its wobbling blue body at odds with its canine features – the creation of a madman, no doubt. "Duroooo…" it moaned in a zombie-like fashion.

"Hmph," snorted Blanc, more than a little incredulous. "I'm sure that was just a coincidence."

"Oh, come on! Just one dogoo?" Neptune complained. "I'm gonna need more than that to reach level two!"

"Neptune, as I just explained, we have no levels to—"

"Duroooo…" two more dogoos moaned in unison from behind.

Blanc's nose furrowed as she gained a level in disbelief. "Okay, now this is just getting silly."

Vert laughed at this turn of events. "Ah, but writer, we have no weapons with which to battle the monsters. You would not have us ladies fight unarmed, would you?"

"Not you, too, Vert," Blanc griped.

"Hiyah!" yelled Neptune as she leaped toward the dogoo in front of her, a wooden katana clutched tightly in her hands. The seemingly weak blade proved to be deadly as it cleaved straight down the middle of the creature's jelly-like body, splitting it into two. "Nepu! A one-hit KO!"

"Where could she have possibly gotten that?!" Blanc was likely getting close to snapping by this point.

"I am, no thanks to you!"

A dogoo leapt straight for Blanc, its murderous intent quite clear.

"Ack! You will die, cretinous canine!"

Soon enough, the battle of the ages was over. Total experience earned: zero.

Blanc fumed as she gazed at the weapons in the other goddesses' hands, her faith in the fourth wall at an all-time low. "This was unbelievably stupid."

Vert smiled and spoke, "Maybe if you had been nicer, the author would've been kind enough to provide you with a weapon of your own – or perhaps even another kind of gift."

"Are you insinuating something?"

Vert's smiled broadened. "Hmmhmm. You said it yourself – the author has absolute control over us…including, say, our physiques?"

Blanc's glare intensified even further. "That's enough out of you, Thunder Ti—"

"That was awesome!" shouted Neptune, her enthusiasm managing to defuse the situation. "But it's not as fun in text form, I think. And we didn't even get any loot!"

Vert sighed. "Unfortunately, I must agree. MUDs were never my favorite genre of game, anyway."

"Well, now that that's over with…" Noire spoke, sheathing her rapier, "I think we should explore our surroundings, get our bearings, and figure out exactly what we're supposed to be doing here."

"Yeah," agreed Neptune. "This place doesn't seem very…impending doomy."

"CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Suddenly, a massive explosion filled the air, knocking the party to the ground and filling the sky with an orange glow. The sound was deafening, its raw power making it impossible to do anything but cling on for dear life for several long, terrifying seconds.

"You should learn to keep your stupid mouth shut, Neptune!" yelled Blanc, her ears ringing painfully.

As the goddesses picked themselves up from the ground again, they saw that the once tranquil forest around them now consisted largely of flattened and dead trees, toppled by the force of the explosion. A thick plume of smoke rose in the horizon, presumably from the source of the destruction.

"That almost seemed like…a meteor?" breathed Vert. "How strange."

"Whatever it was, it can't be good," said Noire. "We're lucky that it didn't land closer to us."

"Well, duh, we have plot armor," Neptune reminded them. "We're basically invincible, because we're main characters!"

An uneasy expression came over Blanc's face. "Did anyone else just get an odd feeling in the pit of their stomach?"

"Something not agree with you, Blanc?" Noire questioned with the tiniest of smirks.

The CPU of Lowee hesitated for a moment before concluding, "Nevermind. It's nothing."

"Well, maybe we should go towards that smoke," suggested Noire. "We're bound to find whatever caused this explosion."

"That sounds good to me," Vert said.

"And me!" chimed in Neptune.

Blanc made a small nod. "I suppose I must agree as well."

And so the four of them trudged through the formerly peaceful woods, struggling to make their way across the numerous felled trees and upturned roots in the path. Soon enough, they reached the base of the smoke and found a small figure lying in the center of a slightly less small crater. The heat radiating from the landing site should've been enough to set the CPUs' clothing on fire, but somehow they were completely unscathed.

"Er…what is that?" Noire wondered aloud.

"It sounds as if it's trying to say something," said Vert.

"Chu…chu…chuuuuuu…" the creature moaned.

"Chu?" Neptune echoed in imitation. "Pika…chu?"

"Chu…chu…chuuuuuuuuuuuuu…"

Blanc sighed, clearly annoyed. "This is getting us nowhere."

"Chu!" The creature suddenly jumped up, then shook itself off. It appeared to be a humanoid rodent of some kind, standing only a few feet tall on its stubby legs. "Chu! Who are you, chu? Wait…CHU!" It leapt back in what was surely astonishment. "I must have died and gone to heaven, chu!"

Vert gave her typical chuckle. "Ah. I know I am quite beautiful, yes."

"You're not supposed to be here, chu!" the rat creature spoke in its squeaky voice. "Warechu doesn't know how to feel about this, chu!"

Neptune and Noire exchanged a glance. "Er…" began Neptune.

"Yeah," finished Noire. She turned to the rodent, which was presumably called Warechu. "Would you mind telling us how you came crashing out of the sky?"

Warechu pouted as he explained, "Warechu's boss tossed him out of the sky, chu! She was very displeased with Warechu, chu!"

The two goddesses exchanged a second glance. "And would your boss happen to be Arfoire?"

"Oh, but of course, chu. Arfoire is a bad boss, chu. No benefits or dental, chu."

"That still doesn't explain how you survived the fall."

Warechu's disposition immediately improved as he straightened his back with pride. "Warechu is very strong, chu. Warechu used to be able to squash entire buildings, chu." His shoulders slumped back downward. "But then you stopped Warechu, chu, and he became small again, chu."

"Stopped you?"

"You don't remember, chu?" The little monster gave the quartet a questioning look. "Oh, those were good times, chu. Back then, I used to be able to see my sweet angel Compa, chu."

"Compa?!" exclaimed Neptune. "Where is Compa? I must visit her and taste her alternate dimension pudding! Only then can I truly see if it is the best pudding across all worlds!"

"Alternate dimension, chu? Warechu is confused, chu. Compa works at Planeptune Hospital, chu. Warechu tried to work at Planeptune Hospital, chu, but they refused him, chu." He gave a dramatic sigh. "Oh, my sweet angel Compa, chu."

"Planeptune Hospital, huh?" said Noire. "Thanks for the tip. Now which way would it be to Planeptune?"

"Warechu does not know, chu. Warechu just fell from the sky, chu."

"Eheh. Fair enough."

"What will you do now?" inquired Blanc.

"Warechu is not sure, chu. Warechu may just sit here and cry, chu."

"Oh, come on!" Neptune blurted. "That's no way to talk! Think about happy things, like, uh, video games! And pudding!"

"Would you like to come with us?" offered Vert. "We certainly could use a guide, seeing as we are unfamiliar with the area."

"Warechu cannot aid you, chu. Warechu would lose too much of his little remaining pride by helping his former enemies, chu."

"Hm." Vert made a little shrug with her shoulders. "Suit yourself."

The party of goddesses decided to leave the rodent man alone to sulk in his personal crater. They wandered for a while, attempting to find their way through the destroyed forest, but the damage caused by the living meteor made it difficult to stumble upon any kind of path.

"Uhg, I swear we're walking in circles!" whined Noire. "And my feet are already starting to hurt..."

"I agree," said Blanc. "It is clear that we are lost. We should come up with a plan."

"Well, do any of us have a plan?" Noire asked.

After a brief silence, it was none other than Neptune who had the solution. "Well, what if we…threw a stick and went to where it pointed?!"

Noire barely resisted the urge to smack her own forehead. "Neptune, it may have worked that one time, but I don't—"

Before she could finish, Neptune had already tossed a branch onto the ground. "It looks like we should go…that-a-way!"

"Hmph. It's not as if I had a better idea, anyway," conceded Blanc. The rest of the party gave a similar sentiment.

After several minutes of travelling "that-a-way," the trees began to thin out. Soon enough, they reached the edge of the forest, and a sprawling, verdant plain was revealed before them.

Noire placed a hand over her eyes to block the glaring sun. "I think I can see a road from here."

"Let us go, comrades!" cried Neptune, taking the lead. "Onward, to glory!"

Vert sighed at the youthful goddess' behavior. "Where does she get her energy?"

Hours later, the party had traveled far and wide, and yet still the road proved to be endless. Slowly, the sun inched toward the horizon, a vivid painting of reds and oranges stretching across the sky. The air grew rife with the sounds of chirping crickets and whining cicadas. Despite the length of their journey, they had not encountered a single soul.

"So…tired. Feet…destroyed." Even Neptune's stamina was beginning to flag.

"I'm about ready to stop," agreed Blanc.

"Hold on," said Noire, squinting into the distance. "There's a town up ahead."

"Boy – Nowa sure does eat her carrots," commented Neptune. When only silence followed this remark, she added, "Wow. Noire must be really tired."

"Shut up, Neptune," replied the one in question. "I'm not in the mood for your childish antics right now."

Neptune froze as a thought dawned upon her. "Wait – so does that mean you're in the mood for my childish antics sometimes?"

Noire practically growled. "No, that's not what I meant!"

"Uh-oh. Kitty's upset."

"This kitty's got claws, too!" Then, Noire caught herself. "I mean, er…I'm not a kitty, alright!" She pressed a hand to her face. "How do I always manage to fall right into it…"

Neptune gave a cheerful giggle. "I think a pair of cat ears would suit you juuuuuust fine, Nowa."

Vert decided to join in Neptune's mirth. "Ah, yes. It takes very little imagination to see Noire as a prickly catgirl, does it not?"

Noire let out a whiny groan, her face flushing with the expected embarrassment. "Stop it already!"

They begrudgingly meandered their way into town, their feet dragging heavily. As the sun dipped below the horizon, a few last waning rays being thrown across the treetops far to the west, the first of the lights lining the village flickered to life. Several of them remained dim, leaving behind a patchwork of shadows – a closer inspection would reveal that their bulbs had been shattered, the glass littering the ground beneath.

The dirt road beneath the CPUs transitioned into one of worn, broken bricks as they continued onward, the country homes dotting the outskirts of town eventually melding with the packed cul-de-sacs further in. It didn't take long before the path forked off into several, forming a winding maze of neighborhoods that had likely never been graced by the guidance of a city planner – buildings squeezed side-by-side with hardly an inch to breathe, with doors leading directly out to curvy streets or dark, dingy alleyways. The town's constructions leered down upon the goddesses as they made their way ever further inward to the heart of the labyrinth.

"My…" began Vert, her voice kept low. "I must admit that this place almost seems as if it would belong within Leanbox, but it is not any one that I recognize."

"Do most towns in Leanbox feel like this?" Blanc asked, eyeing a house with broken, boarded-up windows that lacked the tell-tale glow of light from within. Vines snaked down the faded white walls to join a mesh of foliage that made up the residence's tiny back yard.

"Er…you mean like a ghost town?" Noire offered.

"Ooooooh…spooky," Neptune uttered in a hushed tone.

A moment passed as a thoughtful expression played upon Blanc's face. "Hm. That is one way to put it."

Soon enough, they stumbled upon a place that could generously be described as the town square. A chilly wind whistled across the clearing, rustling the strands of grass that poked through the cracks in the ground. In the center was an old fountain hewn from gray stone, but no water could be seen gushing from it. The benches strewn about consisted almost entirely of rotted wood, and the buildings crowding the edge of the square were in a shape akin to furniture left in the rain. A single street lamp overhead cast its sickly yellow illumination – it occasionally flickered with an ominous buzz.

"Does anyone else find it unsettling that we have not seen or heard a single other person besides Warechu since we arrived here?" asked Vert.

"Yeah…" said Noire, her eyes darting about. "It's like this whole world is…empty."

Blanc gave a nod. "So quiet, but it is hard not to feel like we're being watched."

The sounds of a suppressed yawn suddenly came from Neptune, who raised a hand to cover her mouth instead of giving a dramatic stretch as she normally did. No comment escaped her lips as her hand lowered.

"Perhaps we can find an inn to stay for the night?" Vert suggested, noting the lack of focus in Neptune's eyes.

Noire placed a hand upon her hip before suddenly deciding against the gesture. She took another look around the clearing, drinking in the sight of the dilapidated homes and storefronts and feeling a shiver go up her spine as another gust of wind swept through with a shrill cry. Her attention was drawn to the fountain that adorned the center of the square – no longer functional, it was now covered in muck and partially filled with dirty rainwater. She stepped closer to it, noting the metal medallion that was embedded into a raised slab on the fountain's brim. A town crest, maybe? The text was worn away by age, but there was one name that she could make out. "Say, Vert – have you ever heard of Harbor Oak?"

The buzzing overhead seemed to suddenly gain a harsh edge. Then, with a loud POP and a tinkling of glass, the square was plunged into darkness.

"Nepu!"

Noire felt someone grab onto her shoulders, causing her to stumble forward and scrape her legs on the edge of the fountain. It was only through the quickest of reflexes that she managed to halt her fall by grabbing the fountain's spire, leaving her stretched in an awkward pose. Several moments passed as her eyes adjusted to the poor lighting. She blinked when she realized that her face was a mere inch away from the unholy concoction that had settled within the fountain.

"Neptune."

The Neptune in question gave a nervous laugh. "Ahahahah. Sorry about that, Nowa. I guess you were the first thing I jumped for when I got a fright, huh?"

"Neptune. Please let go of me."

"Aww. Can't you show some love for once, Nowa?"

"I'm serious. Let go of me."

"Oh, fine. Miss Perfect Lady Black Heart never fails in knowing how to be a spoilsport."

When Noire felt the weight slide from her back, it took a few moments for her to push herself back to an upright posture. She let out a breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding – then immediately regretted it when the smell of the fountain washed over her. Something told her that she'd just dodged a bullet. It was in the next moment that she realized her fingers hadn't come out completely unscathed, being coated in some kind of slimy substance that reminded her of that one time she'd picked up a frog. Sighing, she brushed her hands together in an attempt to get the worst of it off.

"So…about that inn…"

She could just barely make out the others silently nodding in the dark.

It did not take long to find a place to stay. The dilapidated sign out in front was supposed to say "The Harbor Oak Hotel," but instead it seemed to spell out "He Arbor Ak Hot." The interior was respectable enough, although it appeared to be rather dusty inside, as if no one had bothered to clean in years. At the front desk sat a crusty old man in an equally crusty attire, his hair having long since faded away.

"Hello?" began Noire's attempt at a greeting. "We're here to rent a room for the night."

The man must have been asleep, as he suddenly turned and tossed for a moment before lifting his head to view the guests. His eyes widened in surprise, and he raised his hands to rub his face as he stood up from his seat. "My, my, my. What a strange time for strange visitors. Oh, but where are me manners? I'm Mr. Oak, and this is the Harbor Oak Hotel."

"Wait – does that mean your first name is…Harbor?!" said Neptune.

The man laughed with a series of wheezes that made one wonder how much longer it would be before he kicked the bucket. "Oh, heavens, no, silly child. Harbor Oak is the name of the town ye now stand within. O' course, it's not much o' a harbor these days, what with business being so slow since the Conquest rolled through Leanbox."

"'The Conquest?'" Noire replied.

"Eh?" Mr. Oak appeared quite shocked. "Surely ye have heard of it by that name. It may not be the official name, but it's far more appropriate, says I."

"And what is the official name?"

"My, my, so many questions. Did ye all get knocks on yer pretty heads? Ah, well, it's probably for the better. Ahem." The man's toothless grin faded. "So, looking for a room, are ye? As in, singular? For the four of ye?"

"Actually, I would prefer to have a room to myself," said Blanc. "It would be nice to have some quiet for a while."

"I would also prefer my own room," Vert agreed. She pressed her fingers together in a most devious manner as she added, "After all, I am sure these two lovebirds would appreciate the privacy."

"L-L-Lovebirds?!" stammered Noire, a blush instantly crossing her cheeks.

Sensing an opportunity to humiliate her best friend and/or worst enemy once again, Neptune hooked an arm around Noire's own and leaned against her lovingly. "Ah, but I am just dying to have you to myself, Nowa."

Noire practically froze, for once not quite sure how to salvage the situation (and her pride). If she could melt, she most likely would have.

Mr. Oak let out a laugh, being only slightly less wheezy than before. "Alrighty, then – two single beds for the fair ladies, and one double bed for the fair young lovers. That'll be, hmm…one hundred seventy-five credits for the night."

Vert started for whatever hiding place she kept her phone in, but Blanc interrupted by reaching out a hand and shaking her head.

The goddess of Leanbox raised a brow as Blanc retrieved a wad of real paper credits and handed them to Mr. Oak. "Oh? For some reason, I never imagined that Blanc carried a wallet around with her."

Noire clearly wanted to speak out, but she seemed too flabbergasted to utter even the simplest of sentences. "I…what…no…"

Before she knew it, they were being guided down the hallway, Neptune still in tow, and was soon alone in a small room with the true source of her disgrace.

"Neptuuuuuune!" Her rage began to boil over at last now that they were out of sight from the others. "Why did you…I can't believe…" She wanted to yell, and kick, and scream, but instead she simply choked as tears came to her eyes.

"Aw, what's wrong, Nowa? I thought we had something special."

Noire could do little more than groan, her hands clenched so tightly into fists that her nails were nearly drawing blood. "You're the worst, Neptune."

The purple-haired girl feigned astonishment. "Whaaaaaat?! You're saying that you don't even have the smallest, teensiest, tiniest bit of love for yours truly? I. Am. Shocked."

"No! None at all whatsoever!"

"Aw. You're going to make me cry, Noire."

"Y-You already made me cry!" Again, Noire let out a moan of pure hatred as she struggled to compose herself. "Why do you always do these things to me?!"

Neptune laughed a bit uncomfortably. Her friend's reaction had been harsher than expected. "We were just having a little fun, silly."

"I didn't ask to be the butt of your jokes, Neptune!"

"Oh, but you set yourself up so well that I just can't resist." Neptune's grin grew sly as she added, "Much like your devilishly good looks."

Noire managed a long sigh, sounding much like a deflating tire. "I suppose you're right," she mumbled, the words barely audible.

"Huh? What was that, Noire?"

"Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all."

"If you say so." Neptune kicked off her shoes, plopped onto the queen-sized bed, and made a dramatic noise of fatigue. "Phew! I don't think I could take another step. Rub my feet, would you, Nowa?"

"You're really pushing me tonight, Neptune."

Noire was starting to sound rather dangerous. "Oh, fine. I suppose my poor, delicate toes will just have to suffer in agony."

"Oh, poor you."

A few moments later, just when Neptune had settled down, she felt something yank at the blankets beneath her. She peeked over the edge of the bed to see Noire lying there on top of the portion of the comforter she had stolen. "Um…Noire? What are you doing?"

"There is no way that I'm sleeping in the same bed as you, Neptune. There's already enough bad fan fiction about that to give me nightmares."

"So, um…you're sleeping on the floor?"

"Exactly."

"Alright. Suit yourself." Neptune made a satisfied "ahhhhhh" as she sank back into the bed. "It's reaaaaaally comfy, though, y'know."

"Nothing you say is going to convince me to come up there, so forget about it."

A passive-aggressive silence passed as Neptune hummed to herself, greatly enjoying the comfort of the bed after a long day of travel. Meanwhile, Noire was wishing she could be absolutely anywhere else at that very moment. The floor was hardly a welcoming place to rest, and it was rather dirty, too – not at all fitting for the CPU of Lastation, who was accustomed to silken sheets. Mere minutes had passed, and already the hardness of the surface was causing her back to ache in a most painful manner. She gave another sigh as she worked to remove her boots and set them aside, then attempted to find a slightly more charitable position on the floor. She failed miserably, and finally, she rose to her feet, defeated.

"Move over, Neptune," Noire spoke a little quietly.

"Nepu! The great Noire has changed her mind?! I thought you just said that you would never."

The CPU of Lastation formed a retort in her head, then held her tongue as she decided that it simply wasn't worth expending the effort to argue. As she settled beneath the blankets, she noted that the bed was indeed cozy – the perfect solution for a weary wanderer. She couldn't even muster the energy to warn Neptune about trying anything risqué. Instead, she simply closed her eyes and allowed sleep to overcome her.

Then, just before Noire could slip away into whatever exotic realm of dreams lay deep within her mind, she heard Neptune say, "Mm…this reminds me of the good old days."

"The…'good old days?'"

"Yeah! Remember all that traveling we did together when we were fighting Arbore and her evil harem of monsters and businessmen?"

Noire allowed herself a shy smile. "Eheh. I suppose. Things have become a lot calmer since then."

"And boring." Neptune's tone became sing-song as she continued, "Dull, dull, dull, do-ing paper-work ever-y day."

"Work is its own reward, Neptune."

Neptune giggled briefly. "All work and no play makes Noire a dull girl."

"I can have fun when I want to. It's important to realize when to work and when to play, a lesson you, of all people, could definitely benefit from."

"Yep – Noire, the one with all of the friends. The friendliest friend that friendship has ever seen."

"I have lots of friends!" Noire exclaimed as her bedfellow managed to poke at yet another easy sore point.

A catty expression formed on Neptune's face. "Oh yeah? Like who?"

"Well, there's you, and, um…" She trailed off, realizing once again what her mortal enemy and only friend was hinting at. A loud sigh emanated from her as she attempted to deflect the conversation. "It's not important."

"What?! But it's very important! As your best friend in the entire multiverse of universes, I command you to make more friends."

Noire didn't reply for some time. When she did, the words were hard to hear in more ways than one. "Maybe it would be better to simply say I have no friends, considering who's on the list."

"Oh, come on, Nowa—"

"It's Noire!"

Neptune giggled again. "Jeez, you're so high-strung all the time, Noire. Take a chilly pill. Chillax for once!"

"How am I supposed to relax around you?!" After a moment, she added, "You always know just how to make me upset!"

An uncomfortable silence passed as Neptune wondered whether she had finally crossed a line somewhere. Then, uncharacteristically, she said, "Sorry, Noire. Like I said before, I just like to have fun, that's all."

"Y-You're sorry?" The words caught in Noire's throat.

"Yep. One hundred and ten percent pure apology."

Noire turned her head to look at her friend. "Neptune…" Her timid smile returned as their faces suddenly drew close together. Neptune's purple eyes were like big, sparkling amethysts, and her girlish face seemed more beautiful than ever. Noire leaned forward, their lips pressing together tenderly as they embra—