AN: Sorry for the delay in updating. I kind of lost my way with this story but then I saw Catching Fire trailer and suddenly thoughts just started flowing. Who else has seen the trailer? I can't wait to see it.

Thank you to all those reviewing and following, it means a lot to me.

-I have more or less copied the District 11 speech about Rue and Thresh from the book, no infringement intended but it was too beautiful to change.-

Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter and please as always leave a review and let me know what you think.

Sorry for any mistakes, I do re-read my chapters but mistake always seem to slip past me.

Possession

Ten

President Snow announced I would be staying in the Capitol after the Victors Tour was over; this announcement came only a day before the Victors tour began. He announced it live to all twelve districts; I of course was expecting something of the sort but Prim and my mother were not.

Prim had rushed into Haymitch's house with unshed tears in her eyes and had wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head into the soft fur jacket I had been wearing.

"Are you going to come back," she had asked.

I knelt down before her, not wanting her to think I was abandoning her.

"Of course little duck," I said softly. "I just have to stay for a while, learn how to become a mentor, that's all."

Haymitch and I had thought up that idea a few weeks ago when we thought President Snow might announce it at some unexpected time and with no real explanation. Prim seemed to accept it but my mother however did not, I could see it in her eyes and yet she said nothing for Prim's sake. For that I was thankful.

Finnick phoned that day, telling me he too would be staying in the Capitol with me. It was a comfort but also a worry. There was no room for love in my life and especially not with a courtesan like myself. How could we even begin to start something when we would both be sharing our beds with strangers each night? But I could not stop my feelings, I was in love with Finnick and the only way to make sure nothing ever happened between us was for me to keep it to myself.

One day the feelings would fade. Right?

Cinna had stayed when Finnick and Johanna had left. He would be dressing me for each District and each event, for that I was thankful. I would have him and Haymitch beside me and that would be enough until I reached District 4 and see Finnick again.

Even the thought of him made my heart race and I would find myself mentally kicking myself a lot. I had never felt so strongly about someone before, loved someone who wasn't my family. It was a strange, nice and yet unnerving and slightly scary feeling; one I was still coming to terms with.

It was the morning the Victors tour began that I found myself woken by one unmistakeable voice. Effie.

"Wakey wakey, we have a big day ahead of us," she said with a happiness to her voice that was above and beyond anything that was needed.

I let my eyes flutter open and closed several times, adjusting to the bright light of the morning sun and of course, the brightness that covered Effie from head to toe. Apparently green was her knew favourite colour.

"Good morning," she said pulling open the curtains. "Rise and shine, Cinna is waiting to dress you as soon as you've eaten." Effie stared at me as I slowly rose from bed, stretching my muscles.

"Yes, you must definitely eat. You've lost weight," she said as she walked to the door, only stopping to add. "And not in a good way."

I stared still half asleep as she shut the door behind her. I was not one to not like the morning but the lack of sleep made it very difficult to rise from the soft mattress and it made it even more difficult knowing what the day had in store for me.

The Victors tour.

From my own District to the Capitol I was expected to give a speech at each stop. For some Districts it would be easier than others, my own and 11 I knew would be the hardest.

But I held onto the thought of seeing Finnick again. It was what I had to think about to calm the tidal waves of fear within me. I had promised myself that I wouldn't like the Capitol break me and I was going to make damn sure I kept that promise.

Possession

I stared at my reflection before turning to Cinna.

"What happened? Am I no longer the girl on fire," I said with a slight smile.

I was in white. A girlish, white, knee length dress with a white rose in my hair.

"I look so young, nice..." I trailed off. Meeting my eyes with Cinna's, "I look pure." I finally understood.

Cinna raised his brows, "from what I understand it was a direct order from Snow himself."

I barked out a laugh. "I look like a young virginal girl. Pure and sweet." I laughed as not to punch something for underneath the humour I found in the situation it also made everything seem very, very real.

In just under a month I would belong to the Capitol completely.

"Katniss?" Cinna said softly when the silence had continued for quite some time.

I sighed, "It's suddenly become so real." I said barely above a whispered but Cinna was before me and heard every word though he had nothing to say in return. There were no words of comfort anyone could offer, not even Finnick.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you," he said finally. The same words he had spoken the first time I had met him, when I was preparing for the Hunger Games.

I met his eyes with mine.

I had survived that.

I could survive this.

Possession

I stood in the Justice Building, Haymitch, Effie and Cinna with me. Waiting. I would soon walk onto the stage and speak to the crowd of District 12, the people I had grown up with, who I had sold my game to and yet I was not that girl, I was not the girl they knew anymore.

Effie walked on stage behind me when the Mayor introduced me, her hand resting on my back, her way of supporting me. I was grateful for that small act of kindness.

I stood in front of the microphone, waiting for the applause to stop so I could read the Capitol prepared speech. I saw no faces, not features to distinguish one person from another; everything was a blur until I saw them.

I realised, staring at the faces of the Mellark family that I had avoided them since returning from the Hunger Games. I couldn't face them because what could I say? Their son had died and I had lived. But looking at them then I knew I just had to speak the truth, from my heart and not the Capitol speech that had been prepared, they needed to understand that I regretted Peeta's death every day and that I cared about him.

"The night before the Hunger Games began Peeta told me something. He told me that he wasn't going to let the games change him, that if he was going to die he would die being himself. I didn't understand him at the time, I thought him foolish because how could the hunger games not change anyone? But now, now I realise he wasn't foolish, he was the bravest and best of us all. He died himself, his loving, kind sacrificing self. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I'm here and not him because he should have won, someone as kind as him deserved to live."

I spoke directly to his family, they needed to hear and see that I spoke the truth.

"I cared about your son; I loved him in my own way. I haven't forgotten what he did for me; I will remember him until the day I die. He won't be forgotten."

The silence was deafening and then slowly, one by one, the people of District 12 pressed three fingers to their lips and then saluted. The gesture one they had once before directed at me, the day of my reaping. There was no applause just the silent sign of respect.

I didn't know then that it was dangerous. I didn't know of the unrest and that I was the spark that would set everything aflame.

As I was about to be ushered from the stage I caught sight of a pair of grey eyes that I knew so well. He smiled slightly and nodded his head and I knew that he had taken my words to heart. He looked sober and he looked at me with sadness and longing. I briefly wondered how long he would stay sober for, whether the images of me with Capitol men would make him revert back to the bottle but for the time being Gale was sober, he was going to live his life. I hung onto that.

Before leaving District 12, much like I had on my reaping day, I got a short time to say goodbye. There was only Prim, Gale didn't come see me and my mother stood silently waiting for Prim.

"Come home soon," Prim said softly her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead, hoping that when I return she wouldn't look at me differently, hoping she wouldn't hate me like I knew Gale, my mother and many people I knew would.

"I will little duck," I said softly holding back my own tears. "As soon as I can."

I was ushered onto the train quickly and I watched as District 12 was left behind us. Everything was so eerily similar; I had taken this trip before, dreading reaching the Capitol and I didn't know which fate was worse, the Hunger Games or being sold to the highest bidders. I was soon to find out though.

Possession

We reach District 11 later that night but I would not be addressing the crowd until the following day and so we would be stay with Chaff something Haymitch is looking forward to, and me too.

The alcohol flowed that night, Cinna and Effie went to bed long before Haymitch, Chaff and me. Earlier in the night Seeder had also made an appearance had shared in some of the liquor that was being doled out.

I drank to keep the fear away, the dread of having to stand up and face the families of District 11 especially the family I had failed. Rue's. I didn't know what I was going to say but again I felt that the scripted Capitol words were not good enough, not for Rue nor Thresh the boy who had spared my life.

The drink so I would feel numb to everything.

Numb seemed like a good state to be in, no fear, no dread; no nothing. I forgot about everything, even my growing anxiousness over Finnick and what I was to do after realising that I was in fact in love with him; at least, I think that's how I felt.

I had never been in love, I wasn't entirely sure what it was supposed to feel like but I imagined it was close to what I felt for Finnick. And it scared me, almost as much as becoming a Capitol plaything.

Possession

Standing in front of the sea of faces, District 11 looked up at me with sad dull eyes and yet in some I could see something else, something more. I could only describe as fire; they had fire in their eyes, a hope. What they were hoping for I did not know so pushing back everything I simply spoke, I spoke only words from my heart; the truth.

"I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District 11," I said, looking at the two women I knew to be part Thresh's family. "I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's terms but his own. The Careers wanted him to team up with them from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that."

An old hunched woman, I presumed to be Thresh's grandmother raises her head and a trace of a smile plays on her lips.

The crowd was silent, so silent that I wondered if they were holding their breath.

I turned to Rue's family next. "But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the Meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim." My voice is shaking but I carry on because I have to, because I need to.

"Thank you for your children." I said softly, sadly and then I raised my head to look at the entire crowd. "And thank you all for the bread."

I stood feeling emotionally drained and exhausted, I felt broken and small with so many eyes staring up at me. There was a long pause. Then, from somewhere in the crowd, someone whistles Rue's four-note mockingjay tune. I found the whistler, he looked wise, an old man in dirty old overalls. His eyes met mine.

What happened next was no accident, unlike what had in District 12 where the salute was one by one, people catching on and showing respect, in 11 it was different. It happened in complete unison. Every person in the crowd presses the three middle fingers of their left hand against their lips and extends them to me.

The last goodbye I gave Rue. The action brought tears to my eyes.

I was ushered quickly into the Justice building, thankful that no one apart from Haymitch would see my tears but then, something made me look back and just before the doors closed I saw it.

A pair of Peacekeepers dragged the old man who whistled to the top of the steps. They forced him to his knees before the crowd and then, making me gasp and try to run to his aid, they pointed a gun at his head... and shot.

The tears were unstoppable, I couldn't hold them in and I turned frantically to Haymitch who was swearing. Effie who was screeching at the top of her voice demanding they all be taken to the train immediately for safety and Cinna just stared at me, his eyes seemed to be seeing straight into my fear filled heart.

"What just happened?" I whispered... but no one answered.

AN: So, what did you think? Please leave a review as I love to hear what you guys think and you have all been so lovely so far. Anyway, Finnick will be in the next chapter so do not worry... hope you all enjoyed it.