Three times when Sasuke didn't apologize, and one time when he did
A/N: Thank you so much everyone for the feedback on the last chapter. And thank you Kantayra for rocking so hard.
Sasuke stood in front of his house, but couldn't make himself enter it. He stood there, trembling, until night fell. Then he sat down, his arms wrapped around his legs, his chin resting on his knee, and kept watching the house. Part of him was still sure it had all been a nightmare. Any moment, now, his mother would call out his name for dinner. Or maybe, she would send his big brother to get him, and…
Tears stung Sasuke's eyes. He dried them with his bandaged arm. Any minute, now.
"Sasuke-chan! There you are!"
He froze at the woman's voice, his lips soundlessly forming the word 'mom'.
"You've worried us again, Sasuke-chan. Come on, now."
A warm but unfamiliar hand took his and gently pulled him to his feet. He looked up and his half-formed hopes vanished. He didn't even think of protesting. It never helped.
"We were all very worried. I know you didn't want that, did you?"
Sasuke didn't reply.
"And I know you won't do it anymore. Right?"
Sasuke shook his head; the nurse mistook it for assent.
"Good boy. Let's go back to the hospital."
Sasuke went with her because he knew she had truly been worried. They always were, even though they knew, by now, where to find him. He knew she was waiting for an apology for having worried her again. He didn't give it to her. He didn't feel like he had to. He hadn't done anything wrong. He was nothing to her, and she was nothing to him. She shouldn't have worried about him.
She might act like her, or even sound like her, she even looked like her, just a bit, but she wasn't his mom.
…
"Sasuke-kun! You will apologize!"
Sasuke returned Kabuto's gaze coldly. "No."
Kabuto's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. He loomed over Sasuke, using the couple inches he still had on him. "Orochimaru-sama has been more than patient with you. Your rudeness has lasted too long already. It's time for you to—"
Sasuke turned away and started walking toward his room. He'd heard that speech a dozen times already, always from Kabuto, and he just wasn't going to change his mind about it now. He wouldn't show any sign of respect to Orochimaru. Many others deserved it more than his so-called teacher did.
"Sasuke! I wasn't finished!"
It was the slight catch in Kabuto's voice that warned him. The sharingan took over his eyes and he turned to Kabuto. He needed a fraction of a second to identify the attack, parry and strike back, slamming a startled Kabuto into the wall.
"I don't care if you're not finished," he said coolly, his hand still gripping Kabuto's throat. "I am."
He let go abruptly and pulled back. He had a feeling Kabuto might be more careful with his reprimands from now on.
…
The first stars had just twinkled to life above them when Sasuke told Naruto he was giving up. By the time Naruto had stopped staring at him as though he had grown a second head, night had fallen completely over them with barely a sliver of moon on the horizon.
The lack of light wouldn't have prevented them from starting to make their way toward Konoha; their respective injuries, on the other hand, were a different matter. Every inch of Sasuke's body ached, his chest throbbed with every shallow breath he took, and remaining seated with his back to the thick trunk of a tree was about as much energy as he felt capable of exerting now that he had conceded the fight. So all he did was watch as a limping Naruto gathered dry branches and built a small fire close to where Sasuke was sitting.
"I don't need to tie you up, do I?" Naruto asked before letting himself fall down by the fire.
Sasuke gave him a wry look and gingerly rested a hand over the burning wound on his side. "Do I look like I'm going anywhere?"
Naruto's frown quickly turned into a grimace. "Sorry about that. But it's your fault. If you weren't such a bastard…"
Sasuke closed his eyes and let a small, fleeting smile pierce to his lips. It had never occurred to him until that moment that insults could be so nice. He tried to regulate his breathing to hurt a little less. He'd try to sleep, and by morning, when he had enough light, he'd see about taking care of his wounds.
"Let me see."
He cracked an eye open to find Naruto suddenly sitting much closer, to the side so that he wouldn't block the light of the fire. It took him a moment, and Naruto's light fingers prying his own away from his side, before he understood what Naruto wanted to see.
"I'm OK," he said, batting Naruto's hand away.
"OK?" Naruto snorted. "Right. You're so OK, you conceded defeat. To me. Don't be such an idiot and let me see now. I know what the Rasengan can do."
If Sasuke had really wanted to, he could have fended off Naruto. And kicked his butt, to boot. Or so he repeated to himself as, gritting his teeth, he opened his torn shirt and let Naruto have his look. He flinched when warm fingertips gently prodded his side.
"I think two ribs are cracked," Naruto said very quietly. "Maybe broken. And you're burned."
Sasuke rolled his eyes at him. How many cracked ribs did Naruto have?
"Wasn't it the point of your attack?"
"I guess. I just…"
Naruto turned away and dug into his backpack, pulling out bandages and a jar of ointment. "I just never looked at the result this close," he muttered, then said again, "I'm sorry."
Sasuke grunted, both in reply to the repeated apology and to the cold, almost icy sensation of the ointment when Naruto smeared it over his burn.
"You don't have to apologize. It was a battle."
"It was. But you're my friend and I hurt you. So yes, I do have to apologize."
Sasuke clenched his teeth so he wouldn't cry out when, at Naruto's prompting, he leaned forward to let him wrap bandages around him. From this close, he could smell Naruto's blood, could see his injuries. Naruto's words echoed inside him and he understood suddenly the need to apologize. He wished he hadn't needed to play the part. He'd tried not to wound Naruto too badly, but he would have given himself away if he hadn't fought well enough.
It was something else altogether he was afraid to give away if he let himself talk now. He might not be able to stop at an apology, and he might end up saying much more than he wanted to say now – much more than Naruto was ready to hear. Now was a bad time to scare him off if he didn't feel the same way. They had to get back to Konoha first. Then Sasuke would be able to say… well, not everything, but at least a lot more than he dared say now.
…
Sai nodded then stood. Naruto waited until he had left before standing as well, his fists closed tight at his sides. Sasuke had been an idiot to hide all this from him, and he was even worse if he thought Naruto would just stand to the side and let him ruin his life again.
But if Naruto couldn't step aside, what could he do?
As he had promised Sai, he made his way to the Hokage Tower. He still didn't know what he would do to stop Sasuke from jumping into the fire, but there was someone else he needed to protect. There might have been a more sneaky way to do it, but he couldn't be bothered to think of one now. Enough with secrets and half-assed plans. Straightforward was good enough for him.
The ANBU guard went into Tsunade's office to announce him. He came back after a few seconds, closely followed by Sakura, who ushered Naruto in with a whispered, "She's in a fool mood. What did you do?"
Naruto shook his head. He hadn't done anything.
Seated at her desk, Tsunade raised her head to glare at him as he approached. She picked up a folder from a towering pile and slammed it in front of her. Shizune, Sakura and Naruto all flinched.
"Idiot boy," she muttered, looking down at the folder and opening it with harsh movements. "What did you two do in the Uchiha district?"
He watched her slam her stamp on two sheets of paper before he remembered to answer. He hadn't wanted to lie—but he hadn't imagined she would know about this already either. Damn Sai and his drawings.
"Sasuke wanted to show me his home," he said, keeping his voice neutral.
Tsunade closed the folder and slammed it onto a pile. She looked back at him with angry eyes. "And he couldn't have waited until tomorrow? Idiots. Both of you." Her eyes narrowed suddenly. "And where is Sasuke?"
Naruto shrugged uncomfortably. "At my apartment, I guess."
Tsunade's eyes flashed in anger. She stood, her hands banging on the desk. "You guess? You're supposed to shadow him!"
Sakura and Shizune flinched again; this time, Naruto didn't move. "I needed a break. And Sai is there anyway."
In the blink of an eye, Tsunade's expression changed from anger to smugness. "I see." She even smiled as she sat back down, intertwining her fingers in front of her. "I told him it was a bad idea to assign Sai to this surveillance."
The comment was so low that Naruto wasn't sure it was meant for his ears, but he picked up on it anyway. "Who did you tell?" he asked, taking a step closer to the desk "Danzou?"
Her smile faded as she eyed him with cool calculation. She reached for a scroll on the side of her desk, barely glancing at it before thrusting it toward Naruto. "Here. The order for the Uchiha district to return to Sasuke. Now go, I'm busy."
Naruto took the scroll from her and tucked it into his be but didn't leave as she had asked. "Can I talk to you and Sakura alone?"
Naruto glanced at Sakura and saw her eyes widen in surprise. Tsunade on the other hand didn't show anything. She dismissed Shizune with a gesture and a nod. Naruto waited until the door had closed on Shizune before he looked at Sakura again and asked, "Have you found anything yet?"
Hemming and hawing, Sakura looked from him to Tsunade and back before finally shaking her head.
"What's going on?" Tsunade asked, her voice low but the edge of anger returning already.
Now was not the time to lie. "Sasuke asked her to check the Hokage archives. He thinks Itachi was ordered to kill everyone from his clan by the people around the Third. He wanted proof—"
"Wait," Sakura cut in. "He just asked me to look for documents that mentioned the Uchiha clan around the time of the killings. He didn't say…"
She didn't finish. Her frown promised hell for Sasuke the next time she saw him.
"But you looked?" Tsunade asked in a deceptively mild voice.
Sakura blushed bright red. "No, Tsunade-sama. I was going to ask your permission."
Tsunade's face darkened, and for a second Naruto was sure she was angry because she believed Sakura was lying to her – just like he believed it. When she stood, however, and started pacing, he realized it was something else she didn't believe.
"It doesn't make sense," she said, her voice shaking with anger. "It's ridiculous. The Third would never have wanted anything like this—"
"But what about others?" Naruto cut in. "The Elders? Danzou?"
She stopped pacing abruptly and looked at him. Naruto wished he hadn't been so sure it was fear now coloring her eyes.
"Sakura," she said, "please leave us."
Sakura's grimace showed all too clearly she wasn't happy to be excluded. She gave Naruto a hard look on her way out; no doubt that she would ask for details later.
"Is that why Sasuke came back?" Tsunade asked when they were alone. "Because he wants to get revenge on them, now?"
She leaned against the edge of her desk, crossing her arms and watching Naruto intently. He dropped his gaze, feeling miserable.
"I don't know," he admitted.
"You can't let him do anything stupid."
He wanted to know that he knew that, but it was something else altogether that came out. "What if it's true?" he asked, uncomfortable. "If Itachi murdered everyone on orders… if it was my family, I'd want to see the true guilty people punished too."
Tsunade sighed. "Naruto…"
"Is this what being Hokage is about?"
He looked up again. It had been a long time since he had seen Tsunade seem so sad. She hadn't been the Fifth at the time, just a strange old woman who had offered him a precious gift – not precious because of how much it was worth, but rather because he had felt it signified her trust in him, in his ability to fulfill his dream.
He finished despite the tightness of his throat. "Because if it is, I don't think I want to be Hokage anymore."
She stared at him, shock widening her eyes. "Being Hokage is about protecting your people," she said, her voice getting stronger with each word. "I refuse to believe that Sarutobi-sama agreed to such an abomination. And I will get to the bottom of this."
Keeping quiet, Naruto simply looked at her. She hadn't denied it was possible. She hadn't said a word to defend the Elders, or this Danzou person. In itself, his fact told Naruto a lot.
"Go home, Naruto. Keep an eye on your Uchiha. Make sure he doesn't make things worse for all of us."
Naruto nodded and said his goodbyes before leaving. He saw Sakura in the hallway, but only gave her a tight smile before leaving the Tower. She certainly wanted an explanation, but he had no intention of giving her one here, with ANBU ears close enough to listen in and report to heaven only knew whom.
The night air had become fresh while Naruto was inside, not enough to make him cold, but enough that a shiver ran down his spine. Or that might have been from Sasuke's presence, he told himself as he stepped farther out and noticed the still body leaning against the outside wall. He paused and waited for Sasuke to push away from the wall and join him.
Moonlight cast shadows over Sasuke's face, accentuating his light frown. His eyes flashed red for just a second, and Naruto was reminded of how Sasuke had done the same thing earlier that day, checking whether he was with a clone or the real Naruto.
"How did you know I was here?" Naruto asked, keeping his voice emotionless to match Sasuke's calm gaze.
"Your…friend told me."
His mouth twisted on the word 'friend', but Naruto let it go. They started walking down the street together. Sai probably was close, but Naruto didn't see or hear him. Had it only been the previous night that he had walked back with Sasuke just like this? It felt like a lifetime ago. He'd been happier, then. More relaxed. Less worried. But then, he hadn't wondered how to fix things with Sasuke.
They had walked in silence halfway back to the apartment when Naruto remembered the scroll Tsunade had given him. He pulled it from behind his belt and handed it to Sasuke. When Sasuke took it, their fingers brushed against each other; Naruto didn't think it had been an accident. He couldn't say he minded. He observed from the corner of his eye as Sasuke read the scroll, then tucked it inside his pants' waistband.
"Will you move there?" Naruto asked after a few more seconds had passed.
"Are you moving with me?" Sasuke asked back.
Naruto shrugged and tried to ignore the wave of intense relief that had just washed over him. "I have to," he replied, his smile lightening his voice. "I have to keep an even closer eye on you now."
Sasuke snorted. Turning his face to him, Naruto was disappointed to see that Sasuke didn't share his good mood. Instead, he looked upset.
"You told Tsunade, didn't you?" Sasuke murmured, keeping his gaze focused straight ahead.
"I had to," Naruto replied.
"I didn't want her involved."
"And I didn't want Sakura accused of betrayal."
That seemed to pull Sasuke out of his torpor, frowning, he glanced at Naruto.
"She wouldn't have… I asked her to look in the normal records. Nothing that would put her in danger."
It was Naruto's turn to snort. Sasuke could be so clueless, sometimes. Didn't he know that Sakura had loved him for years, and was still fond of him even now, even with everything that had happened? Couldn't he guess, like Naruto did, that she would still do just about anything for him?
"She'd have looked at more than regular papers," he said, his certitude strengthening his words. "And the old hag would have found out."
Sasuke's voice lowered to a murmur. "I didn't want to put her in trouble, not anymore than I wanted to hurt you." He paused, and when he finished, his words almost disappeared behind the soft sound of their shoes on the pavement. "I'm sorry."
Naruto didn't reply, nor did he acknowledge the apology. He knew the depth of Sasuke's pride; he knew how much those simple words must have cost him. He kept silent until they arrived at his apartment, but every couple of steps, he allowed his hand to brush against Sasuke's as they walked. Every touch continued their conversation, deepening regrets and reassurances on both parts. It was still with very few words that they finally reached his apartment, had dinner, and cleaned up. Few words worked just fine for Naruto. He had heard enough for one day, and was content to trust Sasuke's actions for a little while.
Nothing happened when they went to sleep, crammed again in the too small bed – nothing, that is, except a chaste, hesitant kiss of Sasuke against his lips. Mentally exhausted, Naruto fell asleep easily, only awakening once during the night, when a gentle arm wrapped over his waist and pulled him tight against Sasuke's chest. He went back to sleep at once, relaxing fully at last.