When he got home, Sam was gone. Blaine had made it very clear before he left for New York, weeks before, that he didn't want to see or speak to him when he returned. And at least his ex had the decency to do it all, before he came back.
Looking around his apartment, when he had returned form his trip, he realised that a lot of his things in the place had been overshadowed by all of Sam's, and Blaine felt less stifled than before. Sam had never wanted to be extravagant or flashy, and he hadn't been interested in any of Blaine's designs or decoration ideas for their first home together.
Blaine had wanted to shout about his first home, through the design, he wanted to buy expensive, flamboyant and flashy things, but Sam was the one responsible for how their home became more reserved and more boyish.
It was a testament to Blaine's caring and kind nature, that for years he put up with Sam's avoidance of anything that was too flashy and could be construed as 'too gay' in the apartment. He had never outright said anything about it, but Blaine had always felt it, like an itch underneath his skin, screaming at him to throw caution to the wind and ignore Sam's reservations, but he had always gone against his better nature to please Sam.
He was his first love, and he was his soulmate, that had meant something to Blaine. But thinking back on how much he changed himself to be with Sam, he now realised that what they had was wrong. Sam hated drawing attention to the fact they were together, and it was proof of how much of a chance they had, when the name on Sam's finger changed to a female one.
It hurt still. It really did. But he had had time to think long and hard about his life with Sam, and how much his personality was stifled and how changed he had become, it shouldn't be like that. You shouldn't change yourself to fit someone elses expectations of perfection. And if he was being totally honest with himself, he had never been truly happy.
In the few weeks following Sam's departure from his life and his home, the pain got easier to deal with, and the horror over the situation had lessened, but it never disappeared completely.
Blaine had thought that by some miracle if he would have met Kurt, then everything would have felt a million times better. But then he shook his head, that wasn't fair to put on somebody elses shoulders, he wouldn't make this 'Kurt Hummel' take responsibility for his happiness. Blaine would have to try to get to that place on his own, and then maybe things might be great when he meets him...eventually.
He had dragged himself through the apartment, at 9pm, the work day had been long and tedious, Katherine had him fill out so many different forms, his fingers felt numb. As he prepared a small meal for himself and sat down at the table with a glass of wine, his phone beeped.
When he looked down at it, he smiled before taking a couple of sips from his glass and replying.
From: Sebastian
Hey Killer, just wondering how you're doing. Everything alright?
To: Sebastian
Everything sucks around here at the moment. :/ How are you guys?
From: Sebastian
We have been wondering when we will see that gorgeous face of yours again? ;)
Blaine laughed out loud when that text came through. He had been messaging Sebastian and Cash since he had made it home, and had an update everyday on what was happening in New York. He knew it was a little weird to say, Cooper told him it was, but he really missed them both.
To: Sebastian
Aw that's sweet :P
Blaine smirked a little as he pressed send before getting up and collecting his dinner, before sitting back down, as his phone chimed again.
From: Sebastian
Shut up! :P lol Seriously though, when are you coming back to NYC?
Sebastian's sarcastic nature always made him laugh, and you could just tell the joking tone from his texts.
To: Sebastian
I don't know. I get vacation time soon, maybe I'll think about it ;P
From: Sebastian
We need to hit some proper clubs when you do, I want to know what you look like wasted XD
Blaine rolled his eyes as he continued to eat his meal, smirking down at the screen, before just pressing the call button. On the third ring, Sebastian picked up.
"To what do I owe the pleasure, Killer." Sebastian drawled out and Blaine put his phone on speaker as he placed it down on the table.
"Got to warn you, Seb," He said with a laugh, "me getting drunk, it's not pretty."
He heard a snort and a laugh down the line and it made him smile.
"Oh I'm sure it is," Came Sebastian's reply and Blaine rolled his eyes a little, "I'll bet it's the cutest thing in the world."
"My mouth is firmly closed about that." Blaine added with a laugh, Sebastian chuckling too, "So...what have you guys been up to? I haven't heard from Cash in a while."
There was a slight pause before the answer.
"Not much. Working, paying bills," Blaine nodded along with Sebastian's bored listing, "...breaking up."
Blaine choked on a mouthful of wine, carelessly spitting it all over the last few bites of his dinner, and then splashing his phone screen with it slightly, before he cursed and quickly got up to grab a cloth, still coughing as he wiped it all up.
"WHAT?!" He managed to gasp out and he heard Sebastian sigh.
"Yep."
"When? H-how? Why?" Blaine was stumped at what happened, they had seemed so strong and in love when he saw them, but I suppose nobody ever really knows when things would end.
"A weeks back, amicably, and a lot of reasons." Sebastian said with a tiny hint of sarcasm, and Blaine sighed a little in empathy for his friend.
"Oh, Seb I'm so sorry!" He said and he could practically here Sebastian's shrug down the line, "That sucks, man."
"It's ok, it was bound to happen." He said and Blaine raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"What do you mean? You guys looked perfect together."
"We were...used to be," Sebastian said and Blaine could hear a tiny bit of regret in his voice, and he seemed to quiet for a moment, "I think we've sort of grown apart as we got older."
Blaine shook his head. He had no idea what to say.
"I'm so sorry for you guys."
After talking about everything else for a while to try and deflect a little from the emotional and deep conversation they were headed towards, Blaine needed to go back to it, wanting to know how his two friends were faring.
"So, have you moved out?" He asked and Sebastian paused before answering again.
"No, Kur-Cash, needs me still," Sebastian responded and Blaine smiled sadly as he spoke, "He's taking it harder than me at the moment, and I just need to make sure he's ok."
"You're a good man Sebastian."
"Thanks," Sebastian responded with a happy tone and Blaine smiled wider, "So about this vacation time of yours?"
Blaine rolled his eyes as soon after that, Sebastian rattled on and on about how many clubs and bars he wanted to take him too, Blaine just laughed at him for the rest of their conversation.
Blaine had been solemn after the phone call, he didn't know what to think. He felt incredibly pained, knowing that his friends were going through such a terrible thing. And he felt like he wanted to do something, anything to try to help them.
In the end he settled for another text.
To: Cash
Sebastian just told me about...things, I'm so sorry. Are you going to be ok?
It was already well past 11pm by this point and Blaine thought that maybe he had been to late with the message, maybe Cash had gone to bed already, but after about 5 minutes his phone beeped beside him.
From: Cash
Thank you, Blaine :) I'll be fine
To: Cash
I'm always here if you need to talk. I know what it's like splitting up with someone, obviously, you know about that ;) but if you do ever need me, I'll be a phone call away :)
He smiled wider when he read his reply after another 2 minutes.
From: Cash
That really means a lot to me, thank you :) I swear, whenever I need a shoulder, I'll come straight to you
To: Cash
Good! XD Well, have a good night...or you know, whatever :P
From: Cash
Thanks :P Goodnight, Blaine
Blaine felt a little flutter knowing he had been some help, he always wanted to help people with their happiness, and if it was a shoulder to cry on, then that is exactly what he would be.