Sebastian had taken to staring at him in sympathy as he looked down at his ring finger, which now held the full name, 'Blaine Anderson' and sighing before tears ran down his face again. He had cried so much in the past few weeks, he was surprised he wasn't becoming dehydrated.
He avoided talking to Sebastian, knowing that if he did it would only end up in a tear fest again, before Sebastian would try to make him text Blaine and tell him the truth. Kurt knew he was only hurting himself by not admitting it, and no matter how much Sebastian had explained that Blaine deserved the truth from him, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
If Blaine rejected him now, even just getting to know him, when Kurt had deceived him and had known all along, and not mentioned even a little, it would absolutely destroy Kurt. He didn't take rejection well.
He was becoming very emotional, and no matter if Sebastian was around or not, he couldn't draw comfort from him for this, because deep down he knew that Sebastian was right, but it was fear that was stopping him from stepping forward.
"Kurt?" Sebastian's voice called through the bedroom door, and Kurt frowned as he paused fixing the buttons on his shirt before answering.
"Yeah?"
"Can I come in?"
Kurt sighed as he straightened out his pants and made sure his tie was centre before he called out a 'yes'.
Sebastian walked through the door slowly, Kurt pointedly avoiding his eyes as he watched him finish getting dressed in the mirror. After a minute of no response from Kurt, he sighed and walked up behind him.
"I invited Blaine to stay with us, on his next vacation, which is in two weeks." Sebastian said and Kurt paused what he was doing with his hair and glared over his shoulder in the mirror into challenging green eyes.
"What?"
"Yeah, well he's a friend, and if you're not planning on telling him, the least I could do, is make sure he was comfortable and surrounded by people he knew while he was here."
Kurt was still staring at Sebastian as if he had lost his mind.
"And I know that you won't be able to stand not telling him-"
"Why are you pushing me to do this?"
"Because you need to have some courage and do what is right," Sebastian said gently as he placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders, "For your sake and sanity, and also for Blaine's."
"I've got to go to work." Kurt said after a minute of thinking and Sebastian released him as he pulled away, quickly grabbing his bag and jacket before slamming the front door behind him.
Sebastian sighed. This was really getting a little tedious.
Kurt threw himself into work for the next 2 weeks, avoiding Sebastian and also avoiding Blaine's text messages. He had answered the one in which Blaine asked if he was okay with him staying as Sebastian had told him he could, and he had told Blaine that was fine, before his brain could catch up and tell him to say no.
Kurt loses his mind a little when he thinks about Blaine, he cries, he becomes nervous and he ends up having anxiety attacks, and he had also developed a little claustrophobia. Sebastian told him this is because he is trying to keep things in when he should really let them go, but he knew that Kurt has a very hard time with that so he leaves him be.
His phone beeped again for the thirtieth time within 12 days, and he rolled his eyes, as it could be only one of two people, Blaine or his father. And he didn't feel like talking to either.
Sebastian had told his father, against Kurt's wishes, exactly what was happening, and his father had given him the same speech that Sebastian had. He had had lots and lots of words stuffed into his mind by both of them, and now he was tired of the same argument over and over.
And now, in 2 days, Blaine would be here, and he didn't think he will be able to avoid it any longer.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
On the night before Blaine was due to arrive in New York, Kurt bit the bullet and answered one of his father's calls. And there had been about 60 missed ones, so he figured he owed him, even though he knew that his father was getting updates from Sebastian.
"Hey." Kurt Said in an almost regrettable tone and he heard his father's sharp intake of breath before he let him have it.
"Kurt, you can't do that to me!" He flinched at the volume of his dad's voice and even Sebastian looked over from across the room upon hearing Burt's voice ring out in their apartment, "I have been worried out of my mind, are you ok, kid?"
Kurt sighed in resignation, knowing if he hadn't put this off for so long now, then his dad wouldn't feel the need to go all papa bear on him.
"I'm sorry...I just didn't want to argue anymore-" He started but his father grunted an interruption.
"I don't care about that Kurt, I care about you." Burt's voice became softer and Kurt found his eyes filling with tears again, for about the millionth time this month, as he listened in to his father.
"Dad..." He said shakily and Burt shushed him down the line.
"Please don't shut us out, we're here for you Kurt, please talk to us!" His father told him before Kurt broke down completely, Sebastian had moved over to stand near him as he cried.
"I'm sorry Dad."
As he broke down over the phone, he could hear his father shushing him, and Sebastian's comforting strokes over his back and through his hair eventually calmed him enough to hear what his father was saying.
"Oh Kurt, it's ok, it's all going to be ok...look you remember when I found out that my finger said Carole's name, and how much soul searching I went through before I even considered it," Burt said and Kurt made an affirmative noise to let him know he was listening, "it's not a joke, messing with this stuff Kurt, you're hurting yourself, and you're hurting Sebastian...and this Blaine guy."
"I know, but- I- I'm scared, dad." He choked out, and his father hummed down the line.
"I know, I was too, but you're a Hummel, and Hummel men are stubborn, brave and strong Kurt."
Kurt chuckled a little, despite being tearful and he heard Sebastian quietly snort behind him, having heard Burt's explanation of their trait.
"Believe me, I know it's not easy, but it's ok to be nervous, it's ok to be terrified, but it is not ok to fight against it, it doesn't do anyone any good, buddy." Burt continued, and Kurt nodded along as Sebastian placed a glass of water in front of him.
"Mmm." Kurt hummed at his father and Burt huffed out a little laugh.
"I can talk a good game, but I know how you work, you think things through carefully and worry and talk yourself out of things before trying, but what I will tell you is...your whole life will be one big risk Kurt, it's not right to keep life from moving forward, because in the end it will move forward anyway."
Kurt looked up at Sebastian, knowing that he had heard what Burt said too, and Sebastian nodded at him and gave him a small smile.
"Dad...do you really think it could be that simple...I've never, I-"
"I know Kurt, I know it will be hard, but as soon as you do it, I swear you'll feel better."
"And I'll make sure I'm here for him too, Burt, you have my word." Sebastian called out and then Burt chuckled down the line as Kurt grinned and rolled his eyes.
"I know you will, buddy," Burt said and Sebastian then moved away to give Kurt some space to talk to his father, "Kurt, I just want you to be happy, we all do."
"I know, dad," Kurt said with a smile, "and I know with guys like you around me, I'll be ok." he finished as he shared a smile with Sebastian again, before he went back to conversing with his father about other things that were happening.
In his mind he felt a lot better, but there was still that fear that he had to move past.
Sebastian had found him later, going through his laundry and packing things away, and he watched him for a minute before walking into the room and taking a seat on the bed. Kurt glanced at him but didn't say anything, and Sebastian sighed.
"You can't keep ignoring this, it's going to be so-"
"I know." Kurt interrupted gently and Sebastian paused as he stared up at him, and Kurt shrugged and went back to packing his clothes away.
"Wait...what?" Sebastian asked, a little confused as to what direction Kurt had taken this conversation, he had thought about what to say for the past hour and a half.
"I know, I have to come clean about it all...but it still terrifies me." Kurt admitted as he took a seat next to Sebastian on the bed, before rubbing a hand over his face.
"Be brave," Sebastian said as he placed a hand on his shoulder and Kurt looked at him with wide eyes as he smirked and continued, "like I know the real Kurt Hummel to be."
Kurt laughed out loud.
"Thanks."
Sebastian chuckled a long for a second before clearing his throat and staring at Kurt with sympathy in his eyes.
"Look totally being serious here, I'm behind you, 100%, alright? Whatever happens, I'm on your side, I know why you did it, I'm not judging you anymore, ok?" He told Kurt and received a gentle smile in return.
"Ok, I think it might take me a little while though...be patient with me alright?"
"Sure, I can do that."
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Today was the day. Blaine would be arriving at their apartment soon, and Kurt had managed to stay positive all day, Sebastian had helped him tidy and clean the entire place, they had been grocery shopping for 3, and had also bought a lot of alcohol. Kurt had rolled his eyes when Sebastian had said he still wanted to see how cute Blaine was when drunk.
Everything was going well, until there was 5 minutes to go and they were standing around in the kitchen and waiting for the knock on the door, Kurt had started to get nervous, and then he had an anxiety attack.
He couldn't breath properly and he was seating and he felt like the walls of the apartment were moving to trap him in, to keep him from leaving. Sebastian noticed the change in his breathing and noticed the pale ghost like pallor of his skin and rushed forwards to grip his shoulders.
"Kurt?!" Sebastian said as he shook him slightly and Kurt moaned as the sudden movement made him feel nauseous, "Shit! are you ok?"
"No." Kurt replied quietly and Sebastian's eyes widened.
"What can I do?" He asked and Kurt shook his head, but soon regretted the action as it made him dizzy.
"Nothing...just nerves." He answered and Sebastian had to hold him up a little before moving them towards the chairs.
"Kurt, you can barely breathe...sit down."
"Blaine's making his own way here, right?" Kurt asked as Sebastian placed him in the chair, and quickly made him a glass of water.
There was a knock on the door and they stared at each other in a little bit of panic before Sebastian grinned a little sheepishly.
"Erm...yeah?" He answered and Kurt gulped loudly.
"Oh god..."
"Take it easy alright?" Sebastian said as he handed him the water, "Why don't you go have a shower, and relax and come out when you've calmed down."
"Ok." Kurt said shakily as he moved slowly towards his bedroom door and Sebastian sighed as he went to answer the door.
Swinging it open he plastered a huge grin to his face as he met the smiling face of his friend.
"Blainey!" He greeted enthusiastically, and Blaine rolled his eyes before being engulfed in a hug.
"Hey, Sebastian, it's so good to see you again." Blaine said as Sebastian pushed him into the apartment and grabbed one of his bags, "I've missed New York, and I've missed you guys...where is Cash?"
"Oh, in the shower, he'll be out soon," Sebastian said with a small smile as he placed Blaine's bags against the wall, "We cleaned this apartment from top to bottom this morning so he thinks he needed one."
"Oh right, well it all looks great!" Blaine said as he moved around, looking at everything with awe and wonder on his face, and Sebastian walked back to the kitchen to grab a couple of beers.
"Here."
Blaine laughed and shook his head as Sebastian handed him a beer, but he took it with a smile.
"I'm afraid I'm not getting drunk tonight." Blaine told him and Sebastian chuckled.
"There's plenty of time for that."
After Sebastian gave Blaine a brief tour of the whole place, pointing out the rooms and some of things that littered the walls and shelves, Kurt returned from his shower, looking infinitely better than when he had gone in, and Sebastian sighed quietly in relief at that.
"Hey, Cash!" Blaine greeted and then he handed Sebastian his beer so that he could go and hug his other friend, who was smiling so widely at him.
"Hey, Blaine," He said as he opened his arms for Blaine to dive into, hugging each other tightly before he pulled back, "How have you been? Trip go ok?"
"Oh yeah, everything was fine," Blaine said and then looked a little nervously between the two of them, "But obviously I only just realised how awkward this situation might become."
"Oh," Kurt said as he shared a glance with Sebastian before they both smiled reassuringly at Blaine, "No, no, don't worry about that, it's far from awkward between us."
"Exactly, me and K-Cash were best friends before we were together, so we've just fallen back into that."
Kurt gave him a slightly scared look at his slip up, but it went unnoticed by Blaine, who smiled with relief at that.
"Ok, well it's good that you guys can still be so close," Blaine added and then frowned slightly, "I just wish it had been like that with me and Sam, you know?"
"You miss him?" Kurt asked and Blaine sighed.
"Yeah, more than I thought I would," Blaine admitted with a shrug and Kurt and Sebastian shared a small sad smile, "we were best friends for years before we got together, and I thought that maybe it was all too complicated after everything that happened, but seeing you two, and how easy it would be to be friends again, makes me feel a little guilty."
"You were hurt, Blaine, anyone would understand that." Sebastian said as he placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder.
"But, you guys-"
"We stopped talking to each other for about a week, but the hurt lessens if you keep the friendship in the front of your mind." Kurt told him and Blaine smiled up at both of them.
"Thanks, maybe I'll try when I get back."