Doomsday: Post Apocalypse
a Torchwood story
by RoadrunnerGER
Dislaimer: Oh, really! They're the BBC's.
Summary: Ianto comes to Cardiff for a week to help with the archives, but is it as simple as that? Jack/OC, Jack?Ianto
Suspense/hurt/comfort – T – Ianto Jones & Jack Harkness
A/N: Thank you, guests, for your nice comments. How about the others, are you still there? I'd love to hear from you occasionally… or did you just not log in the last time? Anyway, enjoy!
Chapter 28 – Decommission part I
Ianto awoke peacefully. Blinking a few times, he adjusted to the dimmed light. As his memory returned, he scowled at the irritatingly rested feeling he woke with.
"Hello, sleeping beauty."
Just for a second, Ianto wondered, why Jack sounded so unfamiliar and smug, before he realized that it was Owen.
"How are you?" the medic prodded.
Good question.
Thinking that he might be mistaken if he gave in to his first impulse, saying he felt all right, Ianto took a moment to assess his condition. While it was true that he felt fine in general, he found that something constricted his chest and kept it from expanding.
"I'm fine," he told Owen. "Just… difficulty breathing."
Astonishingly, the medic chuckled.
"I'm not surprised," he replied with obvious amusement and tilted his head to indicate Ianto to take a look.
Carefully lifting his head, Ianto discovered the captain sprawled across his body.
"Jack!" he called out with shock. "What's wrong?"
"My educated guess as a doctor," Owen snickered, "would be clear and simple exhaustion."
"Did you check on him?" Ianto demanded, freeing his right hand to reach for the captain's pulse. "Jack? Do you hear me?"
Shaking him on his shoulders, Ianto tried to rouse him and got a grunt in return.
"I saw him shudder and sweat," Owen explained, "I heard him pant with the effort it took him to do whatever he did. He was totally beat."
"Jack?"
Worry laced his voice when he called out for the captain. At the same time, the apparent lack of emotion that Owen demonstrated annoyed him. Did he care so little about the captain? Ianto could not quite imagine it after seeing Owen butt heads with Jack about the exam after the attack of the whirlwinds.
"Oh, c'mon, Jack! You're too heavy! Get off me!"
Finally roused by the insistent pushes against his shoulders, Jack moaned and tried to scoot back, sliding off the edge of the cot instead.
"Ouch!" he called out as he landed on the floor.
Owen snickered.
"Not funny," Jack growled.
"Depends on the perspective," Owen shot back.
"You better wipe that smirk off your face if you don't want your perspective to change drastically," Ianto sourly cut in, sitting up. Although he was not quite sure what to make of the medic's remark, he knew he did not like Owen's grin. Aside from that, he felt odd, as if he was watching the scene through a pane of frosted glass.
"Hey, take it easy, teaboy," Owen muttered.
"What did you just call him?" Jack gasped indignantly, pulling himself up on the cot.
"All meant in good fun," Owen replied defensively, holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture. "Take it easy, Captain."
"Leave us alone for a moment."
"I didn't check on Ianto yet."
"He's fine, Owen," Jack pressed through gritted teeth. "Just go."
"It's okay, Owen," Ianto confirmed. "Just give us a moment."
"Sure?" the medic prodded, looking the young man over enquiringly.
Ianto nodded. Actually, he still felt odd. It was a sensation that he could not quite grasp, as if the world had shifted an inch. Due to the vague nature of his symptoms, he doubted, that Owen could help with that.
A last time, Owen favoured them both with an exploring look before he left the truck. When they were alone again, Ianto turned to Jack. His scalp tickled at the look the captain bestowed upon him.
"Jack," he began tentatively, "what we did when you… did whatever you did… that wasn't, I mean, I don't want to…"
"Easy, Ianto," Jack said softly, lowering his gaze. "You could say that it was a projection. I just wanted to assure you that you're safe."
"I thought that what I saw were memories."
"They were," Jack confirmed. "Memories and emotions your mind tried to deal with by displaying them as a dream."
"What happened anyway?" Ianto prodded. The intense gaze directed at him made him uncomfortable. Any attempt to further explore what might go on within Jack ended in emptiness. It was unsettling. Ever since they had told him at One that he bore a latent empathic if not telepathic talent, he had struggled with the knowledge and wished to be rid of it. Now he was confused by the sudden lack of intuition.
"I don't know how else I should explain it," Jack said with a helpless shrug.
"No," Ianto shook his head, "what did you do?"
"I helped you deal with it," Jack told him firmly. "Showed you a way out of the chaos."
Ianto scowled at him deeply.
"Anything else you did?" he pushed.
At that, Jack sheepishly worried his bottom lip.
"Jack!"
"Yeah," he relented, trying to decide how to explain himself. He had been uncomfortable doing it, but at the time, he saw no other way, "there is something. I… was afraid I was losing you, so… instead of helping you to regain control, I shut it down."
"Shut what down?" Ianto pressed, feeling a tingling on his scalp.
Now Jack avoided his view as he admitted, "Your empathy."
"What?" it burst out of the young Welshman. "Reverse it!"
"I wouldn't advise it," Jack calmly told him. "Not yet."
Ianto did not hear the latter as he stormed out of the truck.
"Ianto, wait!" Jack shouted. "I had no choice!"
But the Welshman already was too far away.
xXx
As Ianto ran away, he was mad enough to kill Jack, but what good would that do? He would not feel any better and Jack would bounce back.
A mad giggle escaped Ianto at that idea because it was so inconceivable and outrageous.
What kind of farce has my life turned into? Ianto thought, feeling an odd mix of misery and hilarity. My fiancé was killed by Cybermen, I'm turning into a mad alien hunter, and to top it all off my boss is immortal!
Seeing that the crowd in the marquee was beginning to dissolve, he quickly looked around in search of his team mates. As he could not spot them, he decided to go straight to the Marriot Hotel where they had arranged for the debriefing of One's survivors. He had just started on his way, when someone called out for him.
"Ianto, wait!"
Wearily he looked over his shoulder as he slowed his steps.
"Are you all right?" Toshiko asked as she caught up with him and fell into pace at his side.
For a moment, he was uncertain how to answer her.
"Physically I'm fine," he cautiously replied. "The rest… getting there eventually, I think, hope..." he trailed off.
"You gave us all a scare," she softly told him, carefully placing a hand on his forearm and sliding it slowly down. When he did not resist, she laced her fingers with his. "The Brigadier's assistant gave a good speech. At first, she improvised and asked for a minute's silence. I suspect that she used the time to go over your notes that still were on the desk, because she then led over to what you have written. I'm grateful to her for that. You found such wonderful words. So poignant."
"Thank you," he murmured.
"You know, you don't have to help with the debriefing," Toshiko said. "We can cover it."
"It's okay," he assured her, realizing he sounded rather half-hearted.
"But really, you don't have to."
"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" he asked, "Sit in a corner and wallow in misery?"
Realizing that the alternative was definitely not preferable, she shook her head. "No."
Ianto offered her a small tentative smile and they continued on their way.
In the shadows of the marquee, Jack stood and watched them go. He had been intent on following Ianto, but when he saw Toshiko go after him, he refrained from pursuing him. They had talked before so he was certain that his computer expert would be able to sort this out as well. Grateful, yet disappointed, the captain stayed behind.
"I'm glad he's all right."
Jack started. He did not notice the Brigadier stepping up beside him.
"Yeah," was all he knew to reply, still following Ianto with his gaze.
"He seems to be a remarkable young man," the Brigadier said.
"He's… precious."
Noticing the emotion in the captain's voice, the Brigadier eyed his friend intently. There was definitely an underlying meaning in his statement.
"Then you should not let the opportunity slip by," he advised.
"That's not my place to decide," Jack told him curtly.
"Probably not," the Brigadier cautiously agreed, because he realized that Jack was about to drive the young man away. "Just remember, where there is no choice, one cannot choose."
Confused by the cryptic words, Jack scowled at his friend.
"Just saying," the Brigadier shrugged, quietly amused by the obvious lack of insight the much older man demonstrated.
Jack already followed another train of thoughts, asking, "Did you see him when he was here?"
"The Doctor?" The Brigadier shook his head. "No, I didn't even know he was here until the Cybermen and Daleks miraculously returned to wherever they came from."
"Well, that's him, right?" Jack said with false cheer. "Hopping in and hopping out. Never staying anywhere."
"Jack…" the Brigadier started to try and reassure him, but the captain took off toward the hotel, calling a distant 'goodbye' over his shoulder.
xXx
Entering the hotel's conference room made Ianto feel like he was back in school. Some people fell silent at his sight. Due to his earlier collapse on stage, he soon became the focus of unwanted attention. Unfortunately, his physical condition was not the only reason. As he passed former colleagues on his way over to Owen, he heard snippets of their conversations.
"We all know Harkness likes 'em young and pretty," someone said disdainfully.
"Yeah, I've heard the captain makes most of his hiring decisions with his cock."
"Guess that explains how he put together that illustrious group," a third voice sarcastically contributed to the unedifying conversation.
Choosing to ignore them, Ianto continued on his way, only to run into someone else. He knew he had seen him before… Oh, right! He was in the same division as Lisa.
"Didn't waste any time to get your feet under that table, now did you?" the tall dark skinned man accused.
"What kind of table would that be?" Ianto asked.
The man gave him an ugly sneer. "Did Lisa know you play for both sides, or were you going to marry the poor girl and not tell her until an old boyfriend met you by chance and let something slip?"
Ianto's first reflex was to punch the guy right in the face. Feeling exhausted and on show, though, he scrabbled about for a come back. He also would not sully Lisa's memory or the relationship he had with her by discussing it with this troglodyte.
"Seeing how concerned you are for my fiancé, I'm surprised you don't show more respect, honouring her memory," Ianto replied dryly and left him standing, following Toshiko to their colleagues.
"Are we ready to begin?" he asked.
Owen eyed him with stunned indignation. "We'll take care of it," the medic said. "Take a break."
"No, I'll do it," Ianto declared stubbornly.
"The introduction," Suzie cut in, fixating him with a death glare, "I'll do the presentation. None of us wants to iron out any glitches later."
Ianto was astonished by her offer but chose to accept it. "Thank you."
"You really don't have to do any of it," Owen insisted.
"C'mon, Owen," Ianto snarled. "I have to do that."
"Are you really up to it?" the medic asked.
"Not sure," Ianto shrugged, "but I have no choice."
After sharing another meaningful look, Owen stepped aside to let Ianto pass. The young Welshman went to the microphone and activated it. Clearing his throat, he started at hearing how loud his voice became. Taking a deep, calming breath, he addressed his former co-workers.
"As there seems to circulate a misconception about how I came to be temporarily employed in Cardiff, I should set the record straight: I just happen to be an archivist and Three needed someone to integrate the artefacts they salvaged from One into their archives. Since I am familiar with One's culture and personnel, Captain Harkness has asked me to help with transitioning all of you to the next phase of your careers."
Hearing the discontent murmur, Ianto thought that it was advisable to pass the responsibility on to Suzie now, but before he got the chance, he was rudely interrupted, "What I'd like to know is how you happened to meet up with him in the first place!" someone cut in loudly. "Where were you hiding out while the rest of us were taken into UNIT custody?"
Recognizing the voice as one of those he had overheard in passing, Ianto felt anger rise inside him. They could not get it more wrong and it annoyed him that they had to cast a slur on him and Jack in order to whitewash their own failure and jealousy. He neither wanted to answer to the cruel accusation, nor did he want to give them any satisfaction by backing down to the challenge.
"Well, just pretending it's actually any of your business, while you were cooling your heels in UNIT custody, eating biscuits and drinking coffee while others struggled for survival, I was trapped for two days in a jammed conversion unit, staring at a bloody circular saw blade poised to rip into me if the power should suddenly come back on, and by bloody, I do mean coated in the blood of the previous victims. Captain Harkness freed me. End of story."
Embarrassed silence followed.
"We put together information packets for you," Ianto went on as if nothing had happened, "outlining how continuing your careers with UNIT could increase your pension when you retire. They will also provide you with an idea about the alternatives. Agent Costello will guide you through those packages before we meet with you in one-on-one exit interviews to complete the paperwork with each of you individually. Thank you."
As he stepped back from the desk, Ianto realized that he forgot something important and still feeling the anger at the impertinent men he could not help but include a not quite serious threat when he announced, "We are authorized to Retcon without their consent anyone we believe we cannot trust to be discreet with the special knowledge gained by working for Torchwood."
It was not really true, but he imagined it would be fairly easy to get that permission if he only asked for it.
Lightening his tone, he continued, "And on that note, it seems appropriate to remind you all that you had to sign the Official Secrets Act to join Torchwood, and despite the branch here in London being decommissioned, that promise is still binding for as long as you live."
When Ianto stepped back this time, he felt somewhat wobbly on his feet. Unfortunately, he ran into Owen who eyed him with a stern expression that made him quite uncomfortable. As a result, he had trouble taking in what the medic told him in a rather indignant tone, "I'm grudgingly impressed." Ianto opened his mouth to reply, but Owen cut him short, "Don't thank me, teaboy. You should take a break. Now."
Ianto did not intend to argue. He felt physically and emotionally drained and readily accompanied Owen past the group of Torchwood employees to one of the partitions they had set up in the back of the conference room for the one-on-one interviews. Behind the walls of the partition, Ianto was out of sight but could still listen in to what was going on. The leather office chair looked comfortable.
"Is this all right or should I search for something more private?" Owen asked uncharacteristically friendly.
"No, I'm fine here," Ianto warded off. "Should have brought something to drink, though."
"I'll get you something," Owen rushed to say, keeping his patient from getting up by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Be right back."
The medic rushed away and Ianto adjusted his chair. The backrest gave way readily, allowing him to stretch out. Now he just needed something to put up his feet on.
Not the desk, he decided. With a sigh, he straightened his limbs.
As if he had read Ianto's mind, Owen quickly returned with one of the chairs, shoving it in position. It was quite considerate, actually, but the medic only acknowledged Ianto's grateful smile with a dismissive grunt.
Oh no, you don't want to give the impression you might actually give a damn, Ianto inwardly chuckled at the doctor's attitude.
A moment later, Owen was back with a bottle of water, a glass, a mug of coffee, and a plate loaded with pastries. Now Ianto could not restrain his chuckle.
"I don't know why we're feeding One's bastards anyway," Owen growled.
"Because they're survivors who deserve our compassion," Ianto replied as he put his feet up on the chair. He filled the glass with water and took a sip. Judging by Owen's dark expression, he did not share Ianto's opinion. "You freed them out of a stuck elevator, rescued them from black predators, dug them out of rubble… these twenty six people are the only ones left from about eight hundred. Don't forget about that."
"I don't like their attitude," Owen huffed.
"Well, I guess then you're even," Ianto smirked. "I'm sure they don't like yours either."
"Smart-arse," the medic scoffed.
"Sorehead."
Owen snorted. "Don't move away from that chair. Doctor's order."
Don't worry, Ianto thought but did not reply. He had no intention whatsoever of getting up any time soon. Owen went back to the meeting where the survivors sat, provided with information packages, coffee, and pastries, listening to Suzie's presentation.
Ianto sighed and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be lulled by the drone of voices. Only when he thought about the general atmosphere among the group, he was disturbed by his lack of empathy. Where he had been flooded and overwhelmed by emotions earlier, he now experienced a fat lot of nothing.
Grief tightened his chest and blurred his vision with brimming tears. It was so unfair. Even though he never really wanted those special abilities and did not consciously use them, he already sorely missed them.
I could've lost so much more than just that.
He sighed and took some sips of his coffee. As his stomach growled, he reached for a pastry. It was a pity that he could not really enjoy the treat, but he just was so raw. Just when he chewed on the last bite, he noticed someone peek around the partition.
"Carlie?"
"Hello, Ianto," she murmured. "I didn't want to disturb you. Can I come in?"
"Sure," he replied and sat up. Gesturing at the chair on the other side of the table, he encouraged her to sit down. As she did, he could not stop watching her as she had changed so much. Gone were the unfortunately shaped glasses, replaced by a frameless designed model that allowed a free look at her pretty features and green-brown speckled eyes. Only some of her hair was pinned up while the rest cascaded down onto her shoulders. Ianto could not remember ever seeing the willowy oceanaut with her hair down, except on the day after the Cyber-attack when the team dug her out of rubble in the Secure Archives.
"Ianto, I'm really, really sorry about Lisa. You were such a nice couple." Seeing his brow reflexively shoot up, she sheepishly went on, "I'm also sorry if I gave a begrudging impression."
"Just a little bit," Ianto blurted out before he could stop himself.
"Serves me right," she waved it away before he could apologize. "I admit, I have a crush on you." Just as quickly as it slipped off her tongue, she clapped a hand over her lips, "Huh! I should watch my mouth."
Actually, Ianto found it flattering, and he felt a light flush heat his cheeks.
"You're looking good," he heard himself say. "I like your new style."
Now it was Carlie's turn to blush.
"Thank you, Ianto."
An awkward pause passed before he said, "The presentation's still going on. Don't you want to hear what Suzie's saying?"
"I prefer to talk with you," Carlie replied. "I know what I want, just need to complete the paperwork."
"Okay," Ianto agreed and provided her with the respective documents.
Carlie began to fill in the form until she suddenly said, "I hate how the others treated you."
"They don't know what they're talking about," Ianto grunted and wished he could just shrug it off.
Reading a passage carefully, Carlie paused again. She appeared worried, so Ianto felt compelled to ask, "Can I help?"
Thoughtfully, she toyed with her pen.
"That paragraph about Retcon…" she murmured. "Is taking it really voluntary?"
"Yes."
Strangely, his answer did not seem to persuade her.
"Carlie, you don't have to forget," Ianto tried to assure her. "The Official Secrets Act is committing you to secrecy. Nobody will force you to take Retcon."
"If that's true, I don't want to forget," Carlie told him carefully.
"That's all right," Ianto confirmed. "You said you knew already what you want to do next?"
"I'm going to try and find a research job," she said. "I'd love to work on a research ship. It would be perfect if they would have a submarine at their disposal."
"Sounds good."
"Yeah… if I can find such a position," she chuckled.
"I'm sure you'll find a job that suits you," Ianto encouraged.
"Thanks."
Her smile was warming his heart. It was nice to see that she was able to smile after everything that had happened. It also did not make it seem like he did something forbidden when he smiled himself… or even laughed for that matter.
"Anything else I can help you with?" he asked.
"No, I'm good. Thank you."
Ianto kept watching her while she read the rest of the paperwork and answered the last questions. She seemed content, which was somewhat strange to see. In the end, she signed with a flourish and shoved the documents over to Ianto.
"Well, that's it," she sighed. "No more Torchwood."
"Right."
"It's weird, but I'm relieved," she said. "I didn't think I would be."
"I would say that's a good sign," Ianto told her and hoped he was right. He really wished she was going to be all right and would lead a happy life.
"You know," she awkwardly began, "please don't get it wrong, but there's still something I'd like to ask you about Captain Harkness."
At that Ianto felt reluctance. Did she turn out to be just another gossiper? Guardedly he asked back, "Which is?"
"How's working with him?" Carlie wanted to know. "I mean, all the rumours are hardly significant. You worked for him for a while now, so you should have a first impression."
As he had felt a pang of dread at hearing that she wanted to ask him something about Jack at first, Ianto was now glad about Carlie's actual question. Still, he was not quite sure about what to tell her.
"Diversified," was the first word that slipped off his tongue. "I'm the temping archivist, yes, but as the office is so small, there are lot of different tasks that fall in my scope of duty."
"Like what?" she readily picked up on the subject.
"Making coffee," Ianto responded immediately, almost automatically, "order office supplies, clear out the bins…"
"Glamorous," she smirked. "But you're evading the question."
"I'm… looking for the best way to answer it," Ianto smiled back at her. "It's hard to put a label on a man like Captain Harkness, which makes me wonder why most of One are so readily applying one to him."
"And not the best one," Carlie murmured absently, mulling over his words. "So how is working with him?"
"A challenge," Ianto finally conceded. "And not for the reasons that seem so obvious to everyone. No, he's actually a very good leader and… ultimately a good man."
Something in his tone made her lift her eyebrows.
"Easy, Ianto," she lightly warded off, "You don't have to defend him to me. Remember, he saved me, too."
"I… I'm not defending him, Carlie," Ianto replied, "It's just…"
"No, really, Ianto," she tried to cut in, "I was just trying to form my own opinion."
"Well, then you're one of very few who show real interest in him instead of just trying to verify the rumours they heard."
Astonishingly, she looked wounded.
"Ianto, I hope you know me well enough to believe that I'm not that shallow."
"I'm not at my best right now, otherwise you wouldn't have mistaken my statement for sarcasm," Ianto replied. "You know… I think that what I just told you struck me most about the Captain from the very beginning. He's just fundamentally very decent, and ruthless, too, when he needs to be. It's hard to reconcile those two traits existing in equal measure in one man, but they do in Jack. But mostly… mostly he's decent."
"Decent?" Carlie echoed. "Then how did he get such a reputation as a rogue?"
"Well," Ianto conceded with a smirk, "he is forward and flirtatious." Very much so. "But remember what I told you earlier, don't just try to put a label on him. Jack has strong principles and his own code of honour. I think he can be a very loyal ally, but also a terrible enemy if you happen to be on his bad side." His words led him to another revelation, "I can only imagine that those principles were the reason that he felt the need to separate Torchwood Three from One, which may have been suggestive of him going rogue."
Ianto did not even notice that he changed to calling the captain Jack, but Carlie did. Favouring him with a long, exploring look, she began to smile softly.
Following his train of thought, Ianto went on, "And I don't think he ever sought the power and position he has attained in Torchwood. I think he would sooner shun it."
"But he hasn't."
"No. In fact, I think he would fight to hold on to it despite himself."
"Yet you say he's a decent man."
Challenged like this, Ianto thought about what he based his opinion on and was confronted with a new insight, "He wouldn't do it for the love of power. He seems almost above all that. He would do it because he really is the best qualified man for the job. He feels a sense of responsibility to this planet, a moral obligation to take on a task that all too often leaves him physically and emotionally exhausted, clinging to the end of his rope, rather than risk letting someone else cock it up and get people killed. He would do it because it puts him in the best position… to do good… to help people…"
To play the big damn hero and save the whole bloody world. It's like he's trying to live up to some impossible standard and can't stop fighting until he's good enough for whoever set the bar. He must be so lonely.
Ianto's thoughts ran away with him, but fortunately his words did not. Fond as Ianto was of Carlie, he did not think Jack would like him sharing his sudden revelation with her.
"Looks like he found a loyal friend," Carlie murmured. "You'll be careful, yes?"
Confusion filled Ianto for a moment until he understood what she meant.
"Oh, we're not… I'm really just working for him, and when the archives are up to date I'll go my own way."
Once more, Carlie studied him closely.
"Right," she said with a mysterious smile and got up. "Still… take care, Ianto."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "Good luck."
tbc…