Three times when Sasuke wouldn't admit he was scared, and one time when he did

A/N: Thank you as always for your support

…

Outside, the storm raged on. Sasuke resisted the impulse to pull the covers over his head. Lying on his back in his bed, he kept his hands on his stomach, fingers intertwined, and stared up at the ceiling.

Lightning struck, followed less than a second later by deafening thunder. Sasuke shuddered and closed his eyes tight. The wind and rain continued to batter the window, rattling it.

He didn't like storms. He never had, but they'd never bothered him this much. He had always known that he was safe, that the water, light, and sound would not harm him, just like he had known that nothing would harm him. His parents wouldn't let anything happen to him.

If he had been home rather than in this apartment, he wouldn't have been scared. He'd have known his parents were just next door, as well as Itachi and –

He gritted his teeth at the thought. He was certainly safer here and now, storm or no storm. In fact, he was not afraid. Not at all. Or so he repeated to himself until he finally fell asleep as the storm faded in the distance.

…

Sasuke had never been claustrophobic, so there was no reason for him to be afraid about being locked in this wooden barrel.

He knew what the seals on the barrel were supposed to do, so there was no reason for him to be afraid he'd get hurt. The exact opposite would happen. He would get stronger, draw more power from Orochimaru's seal. This was what he wanted.

The Sound ninjas could have kidnapped him rather than inviting him to join Orochimaru and pledging to follow his orders, so he had no reason to be afraid of them.

He knew they were strong, so there was no reason for him to be worried when he heard that they were being pursued by Konoha ninjas.

This was the right decision. It was the only way for him to fulfill his purpose and avenge his clan. He hadn't made a rash decision, hadn't fallen into a trap, and he knew exactly what was going on.

So really, there was no reason for him to be scared. If he was curled in a ball, it was because the barrel was so small. If his eyes were closed tight, it was simply because there was nothing to see. If sweat was making his t-shirt cling to him uncomfortably, it was merely because it was so hot in the barrel. If he was shivering, it was because the power was slowly rising in him.

But no, he was not afraid.

…

His hand pressed to his bandage ribs, Sasuke walked a little faster to keep up with Naruto, unwilling to show he was in pain. The truth was, it wasn't only the pain that slowed his steps every so often. Konoha was just one more day ahead if they kept this pace, and then… Then came the big unknown of the equation. Everything, so far, had gone according to his plan. He knew Naruto well enough that he'd been able to anticipate everything. But once they got back to the village… The Hokage might order him jailed, or executed. That'd ruin everything. If he only knew what things were like in Konoha…

"I'm surprised they let you come alone," he said, hoping to gather some information.

Naruto glanced at him; he looked a little embarrassed, and his answer was somewhat defensive.

"Of course they did. I'm strong enough to kick your ass."

Sasuke raised an amused eyebrow. Clearly, Naruto hadn't noticed that the fight had been rigged in his favor. That was good.

Frowning at Sasuke's reaction, Naruto stopped and pointed at himself. "What, you don't believe me? I've learned great new techniques!"

Sasuke shrugged. "You didn't use any new techniques."

"Well, yeah," Naruto mumbled. Linking his fingers behind his head, he started walking again without looking to see if Sasuke was still following. "I wasn't trying to kill you."

He fell silent after that, and Sasuke realized with a pang that he had been wrong. It wasn't Konoha or the Hokage he had to be worried about. Instead, it was Naruto. He didn't know if Naruto could or would forgive him for running away – and for trying to kill him.

A cold glove of fear squeezed his heart. He took a deep breath in and tried to ignore it. There was no reason for him to be afraid. Either Naruto would forgive or he wouldn't; either he would return Sasuke's feelings or he wouldn't. Fear would not change anything now, it would only complicate things.

Keeping quiet, he caught up with Naruto once more. Naruto threw him a sideways look, but Sasuke kept his eyes on the path in front of him. Now wasn't the time to admit to anything – nor was it the time to be afraid.

…

When they entered the courtroom, when he saw the cold eyes of the clan leaders settle on him and Sasuke, what was left of Naruto's hopes vanished, and all he could do was wonder whether they'd be running from Konoha before or after Akatsuki attacked.

Swallowing heavily, he accompanied Sasuke to the table that faced the judges. Just as they were sitting, ANBU guards escorted the Elders and Danzou in. Tsunade was already seated, elbows on the table in front of her and her fingers linked in front of her face, hiding her expression. Naruto looked at her until she returned his gaze. If she knew what the clan leaders had decided, she didn't show it.

The heavy doors closed behind Naruto and Sasuke. Hyuuga Hiashi stood and faced the three accused, who were standing as well. Naruto held his breath and listened closely.

"Mitokado-sama. Utatane-sama. Danzou-sama. In deference to your age, you will be confined to your homes until you pass away. You will not be allowed visitors other than your closest family. You are forbidden to meet with or pass messages to shinobi." He paused for just a second before adding, "And your chakra will be bound."

Naruto let out a breath that sounded like a sigh even as Danzou erupted in outrage, yelling at the clan leaders, Tsunade, and Sasuke in turns. Next to him, Utatane had let herself fall back into her seat and was staring ahead of her. Mitokado was shaking, his gnarled hands fisted at his sides. His lips were moving, but no words were coming out.

Anxious to see whether this would satisfy Sasuke, Naruto looked at him. His face was blank, reflecting no disappointment or satisfaction. Even as ANBU guards were leading the Elders and a still shouting Danzou out, Sasuke stood, and gave a small bow toward the clan leaders.

Akimichi Chouza stood and addressed him before he could leave. "Uchiha-san."

Sasuke stilled, his body very rigid; Naruto was beginning to suspect the tribunal's decision had not satisfied him.

"We want you to know," Akimichi continued, inclining his head toward the other clan leaders. "We are not satisfied with the judgment we gave today. What they did was treason, pure and simple, and we do realize what happened to your clan could have happened to any of ours just as easily. Still, we could not resolve to execute them, and risk elevating them to the rank of martyrs. That being said, no judgment would have brought your family back, or your brother."

A few seconds passed in a heavy silence before Sasuke said tersely, "I know that."

Akimichi nodded. "But rest assured that Konoha will know what they did and what happened to your clan. They will know your brother was not the cold-blooded murderer we all—

"My brother," Sasuke cut in, "was a murderer. The involvement of these people explains why he did it. It does not excuse him."

He had said as much earlier, but Naruto couldn't help aching at those words, and at the too blank tone in which Sasuke pronounced them. That tone hid a lot of things; Naruto wondered how much of it was pain, and how much anger. Sasuke's face still gave no clue as to what he thought or felt.

Tsunade preceded them out. She stopped in the corridor as she had two days earlier, and asked coldly, "Sasuke. What are you going to do?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Tonight, I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow, I'm going to fight."

"And after that?" she insisted.

"Honestly? I have no idea."

Naruto wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear. Sasuke hadn't said he'd kill the Elders and Danzou, but hadn't said the opposite either. Tsunade seemed to realize the same thing. She gave him a hard look before turning on her heel and throwing a stern, "Come with me," back at them.

They followed her to her office. Kakashi was there, along with Sai and the other ANBU that had been trailing Naruto and Sasuke. Shikamaru was as well, and at Tsunade's nod he sighed and started.

"Everybody already got their orders except for you two. So here's the plan. We keep Naruto hidden and out of the way while we—"

"Are you kidding me?" Naruto erupted, incredulous. His worry about what Sasuke would decide was gone, obliterated by a simple fact – Shikamaru wasn't as smart as everybody claimed if he thought Naruto would just stand by while the biggest battle of his life went on. "They come to get me, and I'm supposed to hide like a coward and let other people die for me?"

Shikamary snorted. He looked at Tsunade and shrugged. "I told you he'd be troublesome."

She rolled her eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh. "Go ahead, plan B."

This plan, Naruto liked much better. He'd voluntarily wield as much chakra as he could to serve as beacon for their attackers, then lead them out of the village, where the fight wouldn't take a toll on the villagers. The strongest shinobi would already be there and would separate Akatsuki to take them down one by one.

"That's more like it!" he exclaimed, grinning, when Shikamaru had finished laying out the details.

Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't look too happy. He glanced at Kakashi, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

"We'll be there," Kakashi said simply.

Sasuke nodded before turning his eyes to Tsunade. "My team will find us. I'll ask them to fight Akatsuki. Make sure they're not attacked. I can't guarantee anything if they feel threatened."

"What about after the fight?" Tsunade asked.

"What do you mean?"

She leaned forward intently. "When you stay in Konoha, what will they do? You call them your team."

"I don't know yet that I'll be staying," Sasuke pointed out.

Naruto realized then that Tsunade had been asking the same question again if in a different way, trying to get a straight answer from Sasuke. He couldn't help but wonder what she would do if Sasuke admitted here and now that he'd soon try to kill the three convicted advisors.

"What will they do if you do stay?" Tsunade pushed.

Sasuke's brow furrowed in thought. "Suigetsu will keep traveling, I think. Karin… I really don't know. She might want to stay. Juugo might like that, too. Would you give them asylum? All they ever did was have the bad luck to catch Orochimaru's interest."

"And yours," Tsunade said sharply. "They're Akatsuki."

"As much as I am, and yet here I stand."

She glanced briefly at Naruto. "Here you stand indeed, but for how long? If they help, and if they want to stay with you in Konoha, I'll allow it."

This time, it was easy enough to see through her words. She was offering them a place if Sasuke renounced his vengeance. Naruto couldn't tell what Sasuke thought of that, and he wondered, as they made their way home, whether Sasuke would take the bait.

"You really care about these people," Naruto said, halfway between a question and a statement, as they were about to reach the district.

"They're all I have," Sasuke said coolly.

Naruto bumped his shoulder against Sasuke's, earning himself a mild glare. "They were. Now you've got me."

Sasuke's glare softened before he looked away. "I know."

"You've always had me," Naruto insisted, dropping his voice to a murmur. "And you'll always have me. Whatever you decide."

"You're getting sappy again, dead last."

They walked in silence a little longer, but the question kept running through Naruto's mind, and soon he had to ask again, "Sasuke? What are you going to do?"

"Right now? I'm going to take you home and do things that Kakashi doesn't want to know about."

Behind them, the rhythm of Kakashi's steps faltered for an instant. "I wasn't listening!" he called out, sounding a little flustered.

Naruto laughed and let the question drop. Whatever Sasuke decided, he'd probably tell Naruto first – or at least, he had better tell him first if he expected sex in the following months.

When they arrived home, Naruto took off the kimono and folded it carefully. He was both happy to be out of the uncomfortable thing, and a little wistful that he might not get to wear it ever again. He touched the embroidered fan before putting the clothing away, and turned to Sasuke. Standing by the window, he was looking out at the sleeping village. Naruto went to him and tentatively wrapped his arms around him from behind, pressing his lips to the back of Sasuke's neck.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, the words so close to Sasuke's skin that Sasuke shivered as though it was a caress.

"Nothing. I just wish it were over already. What about you?"

Naruto struggled not to hold him tighter and give himself away. "The same," he said as casually as he could.

"You're scared?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto scoffed. "Of course not."

A few seconds passed. Naruto let go of the pretense and whispered, "Yes. I'm scared: scared of losing you. I just found you again, just found this. I don't want to lose it."

Sasuke turned within his embrace, looked straight at him with a slight smirk, and said,

"Scaredy cat."

Naruto huffed, bristling like an angry – not scared – cat. They climbed into bed, and despite Sasuke's bragging to Kakashi, prepared for sleep. Sasuke threw an arm over Naruto's waist, pulling him close to him.

More than an hour trickled by before Sasuke whispered, "I'm scared of losing you, too."

He'd probably thought Naruto was asleep. Naruto branded the words in his memory but didn't show him he wasn't.