Doomsday: Post Apocalypse
a Torchwood story
by RoadrunnerGER
Dislaimer: Oh, really! They're the BBC's.
Summary: Ianto comes to Cardiff for a week to help with the archives, but is it as simple as that? Jack/OC, Jack?Ianto
Suspense/hurt/comfort – T – Ianto Jones & Jack Harkness
A/N: I'm sorry about the long wait, but I guess you all know how ANNOYING a computer crash is, right? So, no more word about my lack of updates... I gotta write it anew. grrrrr Thankfully, my beta still had this. Thank you, mandassina! Thanks sandysan for your continued support. ;) All of you... Enjoy!
Chapter 29 – Decommission part II
After seeing Ianto so disturbed and confused, Jack wracked his mind about how he could soothe him. First I need to explain to him what I did. He needs to realize that I had no choice. He would have died.
The thought troubled him.
I should've told him right away, but he was so upset already that it didn't seem advisable… and then he was gone.
As he strolled into the conference room, Jack heard the murmur that swept through the crowd as he passed. Being used to the unwanted attention, he ignored it, until he heard Ianto's name being mentioned. Before he could give the offending parties a piece of his mind, though, Ianto gave his short speech.
Wow!
It was all that came to Jack's mind at first. His gaze drifted from the Welshman's determined features over his straight posture to the small crowd. For a second, he was tempted to intervene when he heard the impertinent man's accusation, but he was even more impressed when he heard how Ianto handled the situation. A smirk cracked his features at the mention of Retcon.
Empty threats, my dear boy? he chuckled to himself.
Jack was impressed.
What did the Brig call you? Remarkable? He's got no idea.
With his eyes, he followed Ianto's motions. When Owen accompanied him to one of the partitions, Jack assured himself that Suzie was taking matters in hand and followed them. Unfortunately, a willowy blonde entered the cubicle before he could reach it. A low growl escaped him.
Following Suzie's presentation could not distract Jack for long. Stepping just a bit closer to the partition, he could hear what was said between Ianto and the woman. He knew he had seen her before and wracked his mind about who she was. At first their conversation was not that interesting, peripherally he heard Ianto explain about Retcon, but then the woman asked him about his boss.
At that, Jack pricked his ears.
A good man, Ianto? That's so sweet of you.
Apparently the lady interpreted Ianto's assertion as a defence. Only when she mentioned that he saved her, too, Jack recalled that they met her in the Secure Archives. Just why she connected her rescue with him, he did not know. He had nothing to do with digging her out of the rubble after all.
Ianto's next words, though, hit his very core.
Decent?
It left Jack feeling like a huge question mark. Actually, he could better identify with 'ruthless', which Ianto used right in the same sentence. For Jack it was easier to believe when he was told ugly things, so he was not surprised when Carlie questioned Ianto's statement.
The following concession might have made him cringe if he could not clearly hear the amusement in Ianto's words, which allowed him scope for interpretation. His new team member did not just describe their work climate, he also delved in character exploration, trying to explain to Carlie how he saw Captain Jack Harkness.
I'm sorry, Ianto, but you seem to mix something up there, Jack thought, feeling embarrassment warm his cheeks. He could not deny that he was deeply touched by Ianto's words, but that was not why he suddenly was totally choked up.
He felt like a fraud.
I'm the wrong man to hero-worship, Ianto. Don't make the mistake of idealizing me just because I got you out of that ruddy conversion unit. I couldn't have cared less about you when we first got to London. Owen insisted, that's the only reason why I came to your aid. I had much more important things to do than caring for one of One's people.
Not for a second did he remember the moment they had met. Jack also conveniently blanked out what Ianto told Carlie about his ambiguous stance about the power and position he had attained in Torchwood. Solely focussed on the many times he had failed to meet the standards set for him, Jack neglected to acknowledge what he had achieved.
Suddenly realizing that Carlie was about to leave, Jack moved aside. He did not want her to think he had been eavesdropped… especially as he had. Thankfully, she did not notice him when she first left the cubicle and then the conference room.
Taking a deep breath, Jack tried to reign in his conflicting emotions, which proved to be rather futile. Right now, he wished for a hole to crawl into, so he could curl up into a ball, and wallow in misery. He did not deserve how Ianto stood up for him, and he certainly was not worthy of his faith and trust. He wanted to be, he really did, but that was a long way to go.
"How much did you hear?"
Totally caught by surprise, Jack's head whipped around at Ianto. Two clear blue eyes bore into him questioningly, which made him feel even worse.
"You weren't exactly inconspicuous," Ianto chuckled lowly. "If you want to talk, come in here."
"Sorry," Jack muttered sheepishly as he followed Ianto into the cubicle. "I didn't wa…"
"You're the boss, sir," Ianto cut him short, dropping into his chair. "If anyone has the right to observe the interviews, it's you."
Jack noticed at once, that his tone reverted back to professional.
"Was everything all right?" Ianto asked. "I didn't misinterpret what we agreed upon considering Retcon, did I?"
"No, not at all," Jack assured him, surprised that he even needed to ask. "You handled the interview in an exemplary manner." He paused, watching how Ianto tried not to fidget. "I just wanted to check on you. You went through a traumatic experience. If you want to know more…"
"Why did you have to take it away?" Ianto hissed with more venom than he had intended.
"I didn't take it away," Jack calmly told him. "I stored it in the back of your mind and secured it there. To protect you."
For a moment, Ianto mulled over that.
"And if you hadn't done that?" he finally queried.
Time to be honest with him. Still Jack was scared of his possible reaction when he perched himself on the edge of the desk and murmured, "You might have died." Judging by how the colour drained from his features, Ianto did not expect it to have been potentially life threatening. "I don't want to go into the details, Ianto," Jack went on. "Trust me, please, when I say that I had no choice."
Ianto nodded.
"I will help you to restore it if that's what you want… just give yourself some time to digest everything." Seeing Ianto worrying his bottom lip, he tried to explain, "In a couple of days you should feel better and we can give it a try. Very carefully, though. Steps forward, not back, right?"
Ianto nodded.
"Did you lose your voice?"
Ianto nodded.
"Now, that's a first, I think," Jack allowed himself a small smirk. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. You really miss it, yes?"
"Only now that it's gone," Ianto mumbled. "You'll help me get it back?"
This time it was Jack's turn to nod. "When you are ready."
"When?"
"As I said… we can look into it in a couple of days. You shouldn't stress yourself about it."
Thoughtfully, Ianto tried to read the signs of his body. "It's…" he started awkwardly, "like I suddenly went blind."
"I understand."
Ianto wanted to protest, but when he looked up at Jack he saw something in his features that stopped him. Once more, he became painfully aware of how much he had subconsciously depended on his empathic talent. Now he had to trust his other senses in order to figure out what he had previously sensed.
"You were magnificent."
Ianto's expression changed to confusion.
"Your speech," Jack elaborated. "It was brilliant."
At that, Ianto snorted dismissively. "No way. It was serving its purpose, though."
Stunned, Jack was not sure about what to reply at first and when he was about to answer, they were interrupted by Owen, "Hey, teaboy, is that your idea of taking a break?"
"You know," Jack growled, directing his anger at the convenient target, "I really don't like you calling him that."
If anything, Owen looked surprised.
"Don't bother, sir," Ianto sighed. "It's going in one ear and out the other."
"Yeah, well," Owen muttered, "just wanted to announce that we're ready for the interviews."
Releasing a long suffering moan, Ianto declared, "Fine with me."
"Owen," Jack turned to the medic who was about to leave, "I think you should sign him off sick."
Casting a sceptical look at Jack first and then at Ianto, Owen crossed his arms over his chest.
"Boss, I don't think that I would survive such an action."
Lucky for Owen, Jack was too stunned to stop him when he pivoted around and went to another cubicle. Beside him, Ianto chuckled.
"Owen's assumption's correct," he stated with wry amusement.
"You should be careful," Jack advised.
"I am careful, sir."
"I'll stay and supervise the interview," Jack decided and left his perch to find a position behind Ianto where he leaned against the wall.
Ianto did not think that was necessary, but he did not complain. If something did go wrong, the captain would be ready to help.
The first employee was easy to handle. He wanted nothing to do with Torchwood or UNIT anymore and decided to take the Retcon. Once they had completed the paperwork, Jack led him to the adjacent room where they had arranged a number of cots for the people who decided to forget the traumatic events to sleep off the amnesia drug.
Jack had not returned yet from administering the pill, when another man stepped into the cubicle. Ianto did not think that he ever saw him before, which reminded him once more of how big Torchwood One had been and just how many had died.
Gordon Weston accepted the documents without many words and began to fill in the form. Ianto was both relieved and disappointed that he did not want to chat. He was not surprised, though, when Gordon asked, "Is that really true about the Retcon?"
"Yes."
"Wouldn't have thought…" Gordon muttered.
"It was One's policy, actually," Ianto explained.
"Well," Gordon uneasily shifted in his chair, "I would've expected Captain Harkness to be even more strict."
"To guard against misunderstandings," Ianto told him earnestly, "That taking Retcon is voluntary doesn't mean you're free to spill information."
Gordon looked chastened. "He's not the forgiving type of a guy, huh?"
"Let's put it this way: I really wouldn't want to be in your place if you're violating the Official Secrets Act."
"Well, I was just asking," Gordon shrugged and returned his attention to the papers. As he signed, he muttered, "Actually, I'd rather want to be in your place."
"Why?" Ianto queried. "My employment at Three is only temporary."
A broad smirk spread on Gordon's features.
"Let's put it this way: The Captain's yummy and his reputation as a lover legendary. If I were you, I'd seize the chance."
Ianto could not help the blush that coloured his cheeks at the blunt remark.
"Or did you already?" Gordon prodded.
"That's none of your business," Ianto replied sternly.
"Okay, I get it. You didn't," Gordon warded off and pocketed his part of the papers. "Could you introduce us?"
Ianto's penetrating gaze was enough to silence Gordon. After an awkward moment, he bid his goodbyes. He had just left the cubicle, when Jack came back in.
"Thanks for scaring him away," the captain said.
Slowly, Ianto raised his astonished gaze at him.
"Really," Jack snorted lowly, leaning in to Ianto, "I don't sleep with anyone… or anything."
"I know, sir."
Jack pouted, straightening and crossing his arms over his chest, "Then why were you looking at me like that?"
"Because your remark seemed so ridiculous, sir," Ianto told him earnestly. Still, seeing Jack scowl, he added, "I mean, it's not as if you needed help scaring someone away." The flicker of hurt in Jack's eyes urged him to go on, "You can be pretty scary if the situation warrants it after all."
Placated, Jack's stance relaxed.
Wow, he's really a piece of work, Ianto thought and was grateful that the captain appeared to be more open around him than he was toward other people. In situations like this, he already missed his uncanny ability to read his opposite.
"You'll get it back," Jack murmured as he took position behind him again. "Well, actually, it's not gone. You still get the input, but you can't receive it right now. That's what I blocked in order to protect you."
"I see."
Unfortunately, Ianto saw something else as well, or better someone else. The man who entered his cubicle now was the one who had challenged him during his speech earlier. His crooked grin alarmed him at once, and on the periphery of his vision, he saw Jack step up beside the desk, ready to intervene if necessary.
"How protective of you, Captain," the man sneered. "Probably should've shown that trait before everything went to hell here."
"I did and was kicked in the ass for it," Jack shot back.
One look at his boss was enough to make Ianto's skin crawl. This man definitely was on the captain's bad side and only a wrong word shy of experiencing his ruthlessness.
"You're still Torchwood! Where were you? You should've helped us instead of riding it out, safe in Cardiff!"
Ianto shivered as he heard the man talk like that. Jack's expression had turned stony, but Ianto could imagine that he was boiling inside. He probably was only holding back because they were not on their own.
"The ruddy Cybermen should've killed you," the man declared, his voice full of loathing, "and your little pet there right with you."
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ianto was so shocked that he hardly could follow what happened as horrifying memories pushed back into his consciousness.
Jack heard him gasp, which quickly turned his focus on Ianto.
"Are you all right?"
"Y-ye-yeah," Ianto stuttered, feeling anything but all right. A storm of pictures flew through his mind, memories and emotions, robbing his breath.
Seeing his obvious distress, though, Jack's rage boiled over. "Owen!" Grabbing the man by the lapel of his jacket, he hauled him out of his chair and around the desk to shove him into the wall. At first, the man was too shocked to defend himself, but when he began to struggle, Jack reacted like he would to any threat: he drew his gun.
"Boss," Owen hissed, as he strode past Jack to where Ianto was leaning forward in his chair, breathing hard. At once, the medic recognized the anxiety attack and ordered his patient to keep his head down and to try and control his breathing, murmuring to him as he felt for the pulse that was racing under his touch.
Watching anxiously, Jack kept the man pressed against the wall, his weapon loosely in his right hand. He hated that Ianto had once more been hurt, especially as this was absolutely unnecessary. Automatically, his grip on the other man tightened.
"That's it, mate," Owen muttered, rubbing soothing circles on Ianto's back while his other hand now rested on the back of his head, thumb stroking calmingly. "You're safe. Just try and relax."
"T-t-trying," Ianto croaked.
"Well, try a little harder," Owen teased, giving a reassuring nod to Jack.
The captain did not consider himself assured, though. Feeling the urge to do something for Ianto, he found a better hold on the man, pushing his Webley under the other's chin, and spat, "Apologize!"
Shocked, the man lost what remained of his colour and choked on his answer, "Sorry, Captain."
Grunting with fury, Jack got into his face, emphasizing his demand with a push of the barrel, "Not to me, you oaf!"
Swallowing his anxiety and pride, the man cleared his throat and honestly attempted, "Hey, look, mate, I'm sorry for what I said."
"His name's Jones," Jack hissed. "Do it properly."
Confronted with Jack's wrath, the man gathered his courage and said, "Mr. Jones, please accept my apology for my rude behaviour."
"Apology accepted," Ianto replied, casting a stern look at the captain as he did not approve of his methods.
Without letting go of the man, Jack holstered his weapon and snatched a set of papers off the desk.
"You're privileged," he snarled as he shoved his captive toward the door to the adjacent room, "I'll take your debrief personally."
"Jack, no!" Ianto called weakly from where he still slumped in his chair, harbouring well founded suspicions about the captain's intentions. "He has every right to be angry, maybe not at us, but at Torchwood."
Jack glanced from the man to Ianto and back. They were both pale and shaken, but where the man's expression had gone from twisted with hatred to frozen in terror, Ianto's visage showed nothing but compassion.
"If he's so angry, he can't be trusted," Jack argued, deducing easily why Ianto was annoyed with him.
"He's kept his oath so far," Ianto went on. "He can be angry and still honour that promise. You have no right to take his memories just because you don't like what he has to say. As the leader of Torchwood, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, but under the circumstances, it might help more than waving your gun in his face."
Both chastened as well as upset at being caught out, Jack glowered at Ianto.
"I'll keep it in mind," he finally grunted and dragged the man with him.
Ianto was about to follow, but Owen shoved him back into the chair.
"You'll stay put, teaboy," the medic grunted.
"I'm fine, Owen."
"You're fine when I tell you you're fine," Owen grumbled. "I don't intend to be on the wrong side of Jack's wrath, so I'm gonna make sure you're recovering."
"Stop pretending you care," Ianto told him flatly and straightened in his chair, "and let me do my job."
"No way, teaboy!" Owen shot back. "My job now. Who's next?" he called out and this time a lady entered the cubicle.
For a short while, Ianto watched Owen handle the interview. Listening in was next to impossible, though, as he could not focus on anything but his worries about Jack going too far, forcing the survivor to take Retcon and steal his memories. Even as exhausted as he was, Ianto could not manage to sit and wait. When Owen leaned over to show the lady something on the documents, Ianto got up and snuck into the other room.
Seeing the captain stand over a cot, the form of the man curled up under a blanket, Ianto lost it.
"What the hell did you do?" he frayed, striding over to his boss. "I can't believe you did that!"
Jack opened his mouth to reply, but Ianto did not leave him the chance, his fist flying and punching the captain's chin. Shocked, Jack tumbled back. He did not know what to say and rubbed his smarting jaw. Only when Ianto had already stormed out of the room, Jack shook off his rigour.
"Ianto!" he took off in pursuit, but ran into Owen. "Get out of my way!"
"No."
"No?" Jack thundered. "Stand back!"
"I don't think so," Owen remained steadfast, shifting his position when Jack tried to step around him. "You've done enough damage. Leave him be."
"But…"
"My official statement as your medical officer," Owen cut him short. "As requested, he's on sick leave."
"I… We need to make sure he's all right," Jack helplessly muttered. He felt crestfallen, once more having failed colossally. Can't I do anything right?
"Which would be my job as his attending physician," Owen insisted.
"What are you waiting for then?" Jack snapped, reflecting his distress as anger.
"We need to give him some space, Jack!"
"What happened anyway?" Toshiko asked, stepping up beside them after bidding another survivor goodbye.
"Ianto's gone," Jack grunted more aggressively than was appropriate, "and Owen stopped me from following him."
"Because your over protectiveness is choking him," Owen hissed in order to avoid being overheard by the remaining employees. "He needs space to deal with his loss. I'll check on him later."
"What if it's too late then?" Jack challenged. "He's distressed! You have no idea what he went through earlier!"
"I got a pretty good impression," Owen argued. "I know an anxiety attack when I see one!"
"One more reason to have an eye on him, don't you think?"
"Just think it shouldn't be your eye!"
As the men continued to shout at each other, Toshiko fished her mobile out of her bag and sent a message. It did not take long until her own phone announced an incoming text. Reading it eased her worries.
"Time out!" she called, holding up a hand between Jack and Owen. "Look at this."
Both men glowered at each other for a few seconds longer before they turned to Toshiko and read what her phone displayed, 'I'm okay. Will call later'.
"I seriously doubt he's okay," Jack huffed.
"Probably not," Toshiko agreed, "but he's aware enough to reply immediately."
"He might be stalling," Jack objected. "What if he…," he searched for words to express the unthinkable.
"He won't," both Owen and Toshiko told him in unison.
"Remember what he has endured, Jack," Owen added, "He won't top himself now."
True.
Still feeling the urge to argue, Jack turned away. He could not just switch off his worries. He had been inside Ianto's mind and thought that he knew more about him than the medic did. On the other hand, Owen had spent long hours watching over the young man while he was stuck in the conversion unit and developed a sense for him as well. The friendship he saw blossoming between Ianto and his computer expert enabled Toshiko to assess his current mental condition.
Should I put my own concerns aside and trust Tosh and Owen? I was wrong about so many things recently.
The thought sat in his stomach like a millstone, slowly grinding up his self-esteem. Or what was left of it anyway. Over the years it had suffered frequently, especially during the Cyber-crisis and its aftermath.
All of a sudden, the conference room seemed to shrink. Jack could not breathe, feeling oppressed by the others' presence. Shivers coursed through his body and he felt slightly nauseous.
Out!
"Jack?" Toshiko shouted after him as he quickly strode out of the conference room. She was about to follow him when Suzie called her back.
"We have to finish those debriefings," Suzie declared. "He'll be back."
"He didn't look like he intended to come back," Owen stated wryly.
"Well, we don't need him to complete decommissioning One's survivors," Suzie told him sternly. "Get back to work."
Reluctantly, Toshiko and Owen obeyed her command.
tbc…