Lady Taevyn: You said the inmates were taking over the asylum…you have no idea…
MJ MOD: I'm sure the conservative culture of the era is what led to the lack of education of angels' ability to have sex. And yes, Jesus is a party animal. At least, that's what Tammy managed to sexually harass out of Uriel. She's attempting to look appropriately ashamed for harassing an archangel.
Lethia: Yes, the dead kitty song had to be worked in somehow. Yes, you can come to the wedding. And if you'd like to make an invitation, maybe you should do that and I, Hiroshi, will see to it that Tammy posts it for the wedding chapter. It would be delightful.
iluvmyphantom: Bishop did scratch Erik, but you can't really blame Bishop for that, as he was getting a bath at the time. Cats don't like being bathed. Tammy says "I had my person severely mauled when bathing a cat once, so trust me cuz I know what I'm talking about. That cat was about four months old and I holding it at arm's length…don't know how it got to my shoulder, but it did, and my one shoulder ended up shredded." She's sorry that you didn't like Lenore kicking Erik, but Lenore's very defensive about her cat, some people get that way about their pets. As to how she manages to update really fast…she has no idea how she does it either. It seems to all of us here who speak with you in the review reminder like it takes forever for Tammy to write a chapter and post it. Obviously her ideas are flowing much faster into Word then we all think.
Artzee: You got stolen by Raghnall? But you said you had fun with him, so I'm glad he found some way to entertain you. I never really knew he was into abducting mortal women. It seems we have more in common than I originally thought.
I'm sure you all know the spiel by now, I don't own Phantom, fic takes place about twenty years into the present, blah blah blah, REVIEW…
Bishop was currently hiding under the chair with his squeaky fish toy. He was capable of thinking on the same level as humans, thanks to that nice man Uriel. And what he saw right now did not make him happy. His human was kissing the bad man Uriel had warned Bishop against. It was dangerous, that bad man might hurt her. Didn't she know that?
Originally, Bishop had felt extremely bad about hissing at the bad man. For some strange reason he couldn't explain, he liked the bad man very much. He wanted to be nice but…Uriel was worried about Bishop's human, so Bishop hated the bad man merely for that purpose. He did want to like the man, because instinct told him to…
However, Bishop's little mind was beginning to see what Uriel meant when he called this man bad. The man had shut Bishop out of the bedroom the other night, leaving him all by himself with no toys to amuse him. And then the man had hurt Bishop's human in the street, holding onto her too tightly and walking too fast. He had hit Bishop with a pillow last night. (Granted, it was only a pillow, but it was the intentions behind the action that Bishop didn't like.) The bad man had chased Bishop around the house this morning, and Bishop felt very much like a cat being pursued by a much larger, vicious dog. And just now, the bad man had been yelling at the girl.
And there she stood kissing the man!
Bishop realized this situation called for drastic measures. Dropping his squeaky fish (aptly named Fishy, he was quite proud of the name he'd come up with), he prepared to fly out from his hiding place and do battle.
Erik jerked away from Lenore, cursing loudly and severely in his native French. He looked down and saw Bishop had latched onto his leg with teeth and claws fully extended.
"Bishop! Stop that!" Lenore shrieked, grabbing her cat and pulling him off of Erik. Bishop took a good bit of Erik's flesh with him, not giving up until he was more than four feet out of reach.
"I told you, the cat hates me," Erik snarled, glaring at the animal as he rolled up the leg of his slacks to check the damage.
"I'm really sorry, Erik, I never thought he'd do anything like that," Lenore said sincerely. "I don't want to give him up or have to put him down, but if he's gonna attack people…"
"He's not attacking people, just me," Erik mumbled.
"Well, he did attack Raghnall too," Lenore pointed out.
"If I could get away with it, I'd attack Raghnall," Erik replied.
"Maybe he just doesn't like immortals," Lenore suggested.
"Perhaps, and seeing as how you'll be spending the rest of your life with one, that might be a problem," he informed her.
"Awww," Lenore suddenly cooed, and Erik's head whipped up. Bishop was playing the pathetic, helpless kitten card, looking at her with yellow eyes as wide as they could go and his whiskers drooping. "Erik, he's just sooo cute!"
"Indeed, that's how cats get away with their ridiculous behavior," he grumbled.
"Oh, Erik, he's purring," Lenore said, already willing to forgive her kitten's transgression.
Damn you, you ferocious, foxy feline!
Lenore was currently in a nice, hot bubble bath. Bishop was standing on the rim of the tub, trying to decide whether or not the bubbles would be fun to play with. Erik was leaning against the wall, watching her bathe and occasionally glaring at the cat.
Finally deciding the bubbles would be good for entertainment, Bishop leaned in a bit, stretching out a paw to bat at them. He had only taken a few swings before his paws started to slip off the rim. He fell into the tub with a splash that landed bubbles in Lenore's eyes, forcing her to close them from the stinging pain. Frantic mewing and thrashing caught her attention, but she couldn't see to get her kitten out of the water to safety. She began frantically wiping the bubbles out of her eyes.
The thrashing ceased, and she heard a mass of water dripping from the drenched cat, who was still frantically meowing his lungs out. Finally managing to open her eyes, she saw Erik standing next to the tub, Bishop wrapped in a large white towel in his arms. Bishop shivered, not exactly thrilled to be wet.
"You saved him!" Lenore exclaimed in shock.
"So I did," Erik said casually.
"But you hate him!"
"Well, I can't stand to see an animal suffer."
"I knew it!" Lenore proclaimed. "You're not a mean person at all. All those tough words and murderous actions are to cover the nice, sensitive, caring man underneath."
"There is nothing nice, sensitive, or caring about murder, ma chérie," Erik informed her.
"Well duh! Otherwise it wouldn't be a good cover for your true nature. Face it Erik, you're not as badass as you pretend to be."
"Would you kindly finish bathing so you can take care of your cat?"
"Unspoken denial…" Lenore said softly, just loud enough for Erik to catch it. Though she knew he wouldn't respond that; anything he said would be a lie. When she finished bathing about fifteen minutes later, she slipped on a bathrobe and reached for Bishop. The cat shrank back into the towel, still trembling. "Erik, I think he wants to stay with you."
"Whatever makes you think that? It hates me," Erik replied. He shoved the bundled kitten into her arms.
"I know but…I still think he wanted to stay with you. Maybe he likes you now since you saved him," Lenore suggested as they walked out to the drawing room.
"I give it five minutes," Erik retorted.
"You're so optimistic, it's sickening," Lenore returned. She sat down on the sofa to towel off Bishop while Erik sat in his chair, obviously struggling not to sulk over the fact that Lenore was paying attention to the kitten again. "Why don't you come sit beside me? There's enough room for both of us on the sofa."
"I think that drowned rat would take exception to my presence," Erik pointed out.
"Well, let's find out."
"I'd rather not get mauled again."
"Just come over here!"
"You enjoy it, don't you? You enjoy the animosity between Bishop and myself," Erik accused.
"Stop with the big words and ridiculous ideas and get your butt over here. Or I'll never kiss you again!" she threatened.
"Vicious wench," she heard him mumble as he all but stomped over to couch before dropping down beside her and crossing his arms, glaring straight ahead.
Bishop squirmed out of the towel and made a dash for the bad man's lap. The bad man had saved him from the big puddle that had tried to kill him, luring him in with sparkly floaty balls that broke at his touch. He perched on the bad man's legs, trembling. He was so cold, all because of that stupid big puddle of doom. Never again! No more sparkly floaty breaky balls for me!
"I told you," Bishop's human proclaimed.
"He doesn't like me. I'm sure it's all part of an intricate plot designed to trick me," the man replied.
"He's a cat, cats don't spend time devising intricate plots to trick people."
"He's not a cat; he's an angelically blessed being."
"He's still a cat, that doesn't change what he is," the girl argued.
"If I didn't know it had a connection with an archangel, I'd take this ball of fluff for a demon," the man retorted. "Your cat's getting my slacks wet."
Bishop's human simply held out the towel for the man to take with a smug smirk on her face. "He likes you."
The man took the towel, scowling severely as he began to pick up where Bishop's human left off in drying him.
Erik was rather surprised by Bishop's change of heart. The cat spent the evening on his lap, purring whenever Erik chanced petting the beast. Who knew the cat could be so gentle? And naturally, Lenore wouldn't stop rubbing it in. It seemed every other sentence subtly hinted at the fact that she'd told him so.
When Erik sent Lenore into the bedroom to get ready for bed (promising he'd be along in a minute, as he wanted to tidy things up a bit), Bishop went with her. Oh, splendid. Another night of sleeping on the floor. At least this would prove to Lenore that the cat still hated him.
When he went into the bedroom, Lenore was already in bed, Bishop curled up in the very center with that annoying squeaking fish clamped firmly in his jaws. Erik changed into sleepwear and proceeded to do all the little things he normally did before bed. He approached the bed, prepared to tell Lenore he told her so when the cat hissed at him.
Bishop merely lay there placidly, his tail flicking back and forth occasionally, as if he could care less that Erik was going to lay in the bed.
"You're positively rotten," Erik snarled at the cat. In some ways, it was far worse to be allowed in the same bed with Lenore than sleeping on the floor, to have the cat lying in the middle, which meant there would always be a distance the width of the cat between Lenore and himself.
"Did you get the sketch of Sariel's gown done yet?" Lenore yawned.
"Delightfully, no," Erik replied.
"Fittings are in two weeks, you'll need to have it done soon," she commented.
"Why must you have a bridesmaid?" Erik inquired. "You have Ember, surely that's enough."
"If I had my way, I'd have quite a procession of bridesmaids," Lenore responded.
"May I remind you that I have no groomsmen?" he pointed out. "I only require the best man."
"Well, can't you pick someone from the Circle to be a groomsman?" she sighed.
"I absolutely refuse," he informed her. "I'll not have those damned bastards in our wedding. I only granted them permission to come because if I hadn't, they'd come anyway. I felt it would be better than having them crash our marriage ceremony, as they would then do everything in their power to make it as miserable as possible because I'd neglected to invite them."
"Well…maybe you should think about the opposite of the Circle then."
"You mean have an archangel as a groomsman?"
"Why not?" Lenore shrugged.
"We're not having Uriel"-
"I never said it had to be Uriel," she interrupted. "You could have Raphael, he's very nice. Or Remiel, he seems like a really cheerful person." She paused. "And there's Gabriel, if he appears as a man. God might make him a woman that day though. Oh, and Michael."
"It's entirely out of the question."
"How about one of my brothers then?" Lenore thought about it for a moment. "Or both; then I could have another bridesmaid."
"I suppose I could live with that," Erik consented.
"Good, cuz I was prepared to bicker over that one as long as it took you to agree," she giggled. "And don't forget to have Lucinda's sketch done, we need our flower girl."
"No wonder men hate to commit; weddings are such a bother," Erik muttered.
"Lucinda, drop that cat or you won't be allowed to watch tv for the next billion years of your life," Kathleen called. Her youngest daughter was currently down in the laundry room, and, from the sounds of it, was experimenting to determine the results of putting one of the cats into the dryer while it was running. Kathleen turned from the dishes in the sink to see the cat come tearing out of the basement and running for cover in the living room.
Lucinda appeared at the top of the stairs. "I wasn't doing anything," she claimed.
"Why don't you go get on your shoes? It's almost to leave for our dress fitting," Kathleen told the girl.
"UNCLE ERIK!" Lucinda crowed happily, running off to locate her shoes so she could go visit Erik. (Kathleen was delighted that the girl had finally learned to pronounce 'r's properly.)
Lucinda bounced up and down excitedly in the cab, unable to sit still. After all, they were used to seeing Erik only on Christmas (though they received gifts from him on their birthdays, and cards on holidays). When they stepped out of the taxi at the Opera House, Lucinda ran inside while Kathleen hurriedly paid the driver.
"…a pretty dress! And I get to have flowers!" Lucinda was excitedly telling Ember when Kathleen finally caught up with her daughter in the entrance hall.
"I get a pretty dress and flowers too," Ember informed the little girl.
"But my dress'll be prettier, Uncle Erik likes me best!" Lucinda proclaimed.
"Ready Kathleen?" Ember inquired.
"As ready as I can be," Kathleen sighed.
"I know, it's hard," Ember sympathized. "To see her looking as if no time's passed whatsoever…"
"To see him looking as if no time's passed whatsoever," Kathleen added. "Do you think she'll ever become immortal? I mean, how could you possibly survive a marriage where you know your spouse isn't going to age or die, yet you will?"
"I don't know. Maybe she's already thought it out and decided she loves him enough that it won't matter that he stays young while she grows old," Ember said, though it was plain in her voice that she didn't believe her own words.
The journey down to the house by the lake was far from silent, but all the talking was done by Lucinda, who was continuously speculating on how beautiful her dress would be.
"Ember, Kathleen! Hi!" Lenore squealed excitedly when Erik let them in the house, rushing forward to hug them.
"Kitty!" Lucinda exclaimed, running to the cat curled up in front of the fireplace. The chocolate brown kitten sprang into action upon seeing the child rushing for it, hurrying over to Erik and hiding behind him, obviously looking to him for protection. When Lucinda got within arms' reach, Erik scooped her up.
"Have you come to see me or the cat?" he inquired, pretending to be hurt at the thought that she might want to see the cat more than him.
"I'm glad you guys are here, now we're just waiting on Sariel," Lenore remarked, leading the two women over to the sofa.
"Who?" Kathleen asked.
"Sariel, you don't know her. Actually, I've never met her myself, but Gabriel recommended her, and she sent a dove down the other day saying she'd be here," Lenore explained.
…Lenore, do you have any idea what you're getting into? I'm worried about you. I don't know why, but I am. Something tells me that this is a huge decision you're making, by marrying Erik.
Lenore felt a sort of tension, sitting between her sister and best friend on the sofa. Things aren't the same anymore. I missed too much…
Suddenly, a young woman stepped out of the fireplace. "Alright, we must be quick about this, I can't be gone too long. You never know when Lucifer will attack. He's probably drooling over the fact that I'm not there right now, this might be just the opportunity he's been looking for," the woman said in a somewhat deeper voice than most women had. Her black hair fell just past her shoulders, and her eyes were a golden color that shone in the candlelight.
"Did she just"- Ember began.
"Step out of the"- Kathleen continued Ember's thought.
"You must be a witch!" Lucinda proclaimed. "You used floo powder, right? Mommy reads me Harry Potter all the time, I know you got to be a witch!"
"I'm Sariel, an angel," the woman replied. "The Angel of Death to be precise."
"Nuh uh," Lucinda argued. "If you're an angel, where are your wings?"
"They're tucked away in my back," Sariel replied matter-of-factly. "That fireplace certainly wouldn't have accommodated them. Besides, I only have them out when I'm collecting souls or drilling the troops."
"You're lying, you don't have wings," Lucinda contradicted. "You's a witch, I know it."
"She's really an angel, Lucinda," Erik told the girl. "I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt."
"But she"-
"I've seen her wings," Erik replied. "It's been many years, but I've seen them. So you shouldn't go on calling her a witch and a liar. What would God think of that, hm?"
"I'm sorry," Lucinda apologized to Sariel, looking quite sincere about it. "If Uncle Erik says you're an angel, then you have to be. Uncle Erik doesn't lie."
"Lucinda…Lucinda Parker, correct?" Sariel said after a moment. "A friend of mine wanted me to ask you to stop trying to shave the cats or put them in the dryer. It scares them, you see."
"Oh," Lucinda pouted. "I spose I can…"
"That's a good girl," Sariel praised. "Uriel will be delighted to hear that." Sariel reached into a pouch attached to her sword belt, rifling through, muttering something about what he'd do if she lost it. "Ah! There it is. Speaking of Uriel, he wanted me to give you this, Lenore."
The archangel handed her a necklace with a black cameo of a raven and a sealed scroll. Why a raven? Lenore opened the scroll, reading through the letter.
Dearest Lenore,
I am somewhat saddened by your decision to marry Keeran, to be quite honest. However, I know this decision is yours to make, and I wish you nothing but happiness with him. I shall come to the wedding, unless you wish me not to. Please inform Sariel on the issue of whether or not you wish me to attend.
Many years ago, I inspired a man to write a poem based on a strong feeling I had that I couldn't describe. Though I left the majority of his poem to his interpretation of the feelings I had, I insisted a few lines be written in my own words, words that (at that time) made no sense to me whatsoever. I now believe God was giving me a forewarning of how my involvement with you would end, in such a painful fashion and leaving me worried about your fate. The lines of the poem that I myself wrote are as follows:
By that Heaven that bends above us – by that God we both adore –
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore –
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore?
I'm sure you know the next line, and it pertains quite well to our situation, I believe. Thus, if you choose to wear the necklace and he takes offense, tell him that it means we can be together nevermore.
Deepest affections,
Uriel
"Nevermore," Lenore whispered softly, staring at the scroll for a brief moment before rolling it up and putting the necklace on. Erik tensed visibly, but obviously had no desire to discuss her action in current company. "Tell Uriel I'd love for him to come to the wedding," she informed Sariel.
"Well, let's get this done with," Sariel sighed. "I haven't all day, Keeran. I have duties to attend to."
The door opened and a small girl peered out before screaming at the top of her lungs and slamming the door shut in his face. Hiroshi shook his head and opened the door, walking into Erik's abode in time to hear the girl say, "…a man with scary eyes!"
"Well that's what you get for opening Uncle Erik's front door," the woman who was obviously the girl's mother said. "Now you know why you should never answer the door by yourself."
"Hiroshi, do you have to frighten small children?" Erik inquired from his chair in front of the fireplace.
"It wasn't intentional, just a nice little bonus," Hiroshi replied.
"What are you doing here, Father Ripper?" Lenore asked, sitting on the sofa with Ember and the woman who was now holding the girl on her lap.
"It's terribly rude not to introduce me to your companions," Hiroshi informed her.
"This is my sister-in-law, Kathleen Parker, and her daughter Lucinda, whom you've already met and scared half to death," Lenore introduced the two females he was unacquainted with. "Kathleen, this is Jack the Ripper, otherwise known as Hiroshi. There, done. Now tell us what you want and go."
"I was hoping that my daughter and future son-in-law might like to go to dinner with me tonight," Hiroshi said hopefully. He was rather bored in France, the only bright spots in his day being when he found another woman who would prove good for sexual pleasure before he killed her. He hadn't seen Erik and Lenore since the very end of July, so it had been more than three months now, and it would be nice to catch up with them.
"I'd rather have Raghnall study me," Lenore muttered.
"I could invite him to come along, if you like," Hiroshi offered.
"Only if I can borrow an archangel's sword for my protection," Lenore retorted.
"I wanna come!" Lucinda squealed excitedly, despite the fact that Hiroshi scared her.
"You know, it's a bit rude of you to invite Erik and Lenore to dinner in front of her family without inviting them too," Ember commented to Hiroshi, pretending to be caught up in examining her nails.
"I never said you couldn't tag along," Hiroshi pointed out in his defense.
"Well, that makes me feel welcome," Ember bit back sarcastically.
Hiroshi walked over to stand in front of her, bending down until his eyes were level with hers. "Muffin, I would be enchanted if you would accompany us," he told her, pressing a kiss to her lips. He pulled away when her hand connected with the side of his face.
"I'm married, jackass," Ember snarled, glaring at him for having the audacity to kiss her.
"That's never stopped me before."
"Being his daughter isn't enough to stop him," Lenore grumbled bitterly.
"Don't feel left out, kitten, I still love you," Hiroshi consoled her, patting her head and placing a kiss on her forehead. "It would've been more involved, but I feel your master would take exception."
"I prefer the term fiancée to refer to Erik," Lenore snapped, adding her glare at Hiroshi to Ember's.
"I can see how you two are related. You both look so enticingly scrumptious when your feathers are ruffled," Hiroshi smiled.
"Pervert," Ember and Lenore declared simultaneously.
"You even think alike! How positively cute!" he practically squealed. "What I wouldn't give to have both of you in my bed at the same time."
"Mommy, what's a pervert?" Lucinda inquired.
"A very bad man with scary eyes who has very naughty sleepovers," Kathleen replied angrily, glaring at Hiroshi as well.
"I suppose you happen to be married as well, dumpling?" Hiroshi guessed. When Kathleen nodded, he sighed. "I don't suppose you're willing to have an affair then."
"Stop hitting on the members of my family, it's disturbing," Lenore growled.
"I'm afraid I can't make any promises in that regard. After all, your relatives are just so gorgeous, I can't help myself," Hiroshi said in an attempt to flatter himself back into the Parker family's good graces. He wasn't going to leave them an opportunity to inform him his flattery hadn't worked. "Now, I suggest anyone who has intentions of going to dinner should start getting ready. You'll want to change clothes; L'Astrance is rather…expensive."
"So you're letting my family come to dinner?" Lenore asked curiously.
"Of course, I wouldn't want your family to feel as if I'm shutting them out of your life. After all, being your father in Second Life, I'm practically related to them myself."
Oh, what he'd walked right into! "Alright ladies, get out your cell phones," Lenore grinned devilishly. "We wouldn't want the others to miss this, after all."
And so it was that they found themselves in L'Astrance an hour later, sitting at a long table with Jon and Kathleen, their children Lucinda, Sarah, Diego, Adrian, and Damien, Mark and Tori, their children Marcus and Olivia (who had brought her boyfriend, George, with various tattoos and multiple piercings along), Patrick and Ember, their children Teresa Rose, Onyx, and Cahal, and, annoyingly enough, the matriarch of the family, Mrs. Parker.
"I never realized your family was quite so large, kitten," Hiroshi remarked bitterly. He was paying for twenty one people to eat tonight, which would come to roughly 1575 Euros, which was pretty much the same sum in United States currency.
A loud 'thwack' sounded as Mrs. Parker's umbrella connected with Hiroshi's skull. "Don't call my daughter 'kitten'," she commanded imperiously.
"I'll call my daughter whatever I wish," he returned.
Lenore silently thanked God that she was seated between Erik and Hiroshi so that her mother wasn't directly beside her and therefore couldn't cling to her all night.
"She's my daughter, you idiot, you didn't give birth!" Mrs. Parker argued.
"I raised her from infancy!" Hiroshi challenged.
"Perhaps, to avoid causing in a scene in the restaurant, you could view her as a daughter to the both of you," Erik suggested.
"I suppose. So, for tonight at least, she's our daughter, Mrs. Parker," Hiroshi agreed.
"I certainly didn't conceive her with any help from you," Mrs. Parker snarled viciously at the poor immortal forced to have the woman sitting next to him due to her effort to get as close to Lenore as possible for this meal.
"And you certainly didn't help me raise the girl!" Hiroshi snapped back. "Where were you when she finger painted the fridge? Where were you when she shaved the cat? Where were you the day she broke the stained glass window running the full length of the east wall of the parlor when she threw the dictionary at that glorious masterpiece out of frustration that she didn't get the doll house she wanted for her birthday? Where were you when she graduated from Harvard with two Master's degrees? Here in Paris, moping about, that's where! In this life, she is my daughter, not yours."
"You shattered a stained glass window?" Erik asked Lenore in surprise.
"Well…I was rather upset. I wanted the dollhouse, and all I got was books for more private tutoring," Lenore explained. "So I took the dictionary I got, and threw it at the window to demonstrate my displeasure. The window was about ten feet high by about twenty five feet long, if I remember correctly."
Hiroshi and Mrs. Parker continued to bicker in the background.
"And what was the scene depicted by this window?" Erik prompted.
"A work of Boris Vallejo," Lenore said. "It was one of Hiroshi's favorite windows…"
"Is the name Boris Vallejo supposed to mean something to me?"
"Most people know exactly what you mean if you say Boris Vallejo. Basically, the guy's work is all erotic fantasy."
"You grew up with erotic fantasy art in your home?" Erik said incredulously.
"Yeah. The window depicted a rather scantily clad woman holding a length of chain with New York City in the background. I saw pictures of naked women all the time, Hiroshi has loads of that kind of thing on the walls," Lenore shrugged.
"That's entirely disturbing," Erik grumbled. "You were a child, you shouldn't have being seeing such things."
"Well, it's not really that awful. I mean, it's not like I was never going to see a naked woman in my life. I see a naked woman every time I get dressed," Lenore pointed out.
"That is not my complaint. My complaint is that it was erotic. You were too young for that sort of thing," Erik explained.
"Yeah, the picture in the north hall where the demon guy had the naked girl in his arms and his hand was on her butt did kinda creep me out a bit," Lenore admitted.
"Excuse me for a moment," Erik dismissed himself to the table in general. Rising, he walked over behind Hiroshi and Mrs. Parker. Grabbing the collars of their shirts, he yanked them both up and dragged them off to a quiet and semi-dark corner of the restaurant.
"You scoundrel, let go!" Mrs. Parker snapped angrily.
"The two of you will cease bickering or else I'll see to it that you both suffer greatly," Erik threatened. "As much as we all detest it, Mrs. Parker, Hiroshi is a member of this family. Lenore sees him as a father, even if he has no biological relation to her. She's hiding it rather well, but it upsets Lenore to have you two bickering over who is or is not a parent to her."
"She started it," Hiroshi said defensively, pouting like child and scowling at Mrs. Parker.
"I have no concern over who started it; I'm finishing it," Erik snarled. "If my threats are not sufficient to halt this idiotic quarrel, then perhaps Lenore's feelings are enough. It means the world to her that you accept each other. I don't wish to see her crying over your inability to get along. I'll not have you two ruining our wedding in such a fashion."
The two were silent for a moment, looking anywhere but at each other. "I suppose I can put aside my dislike for this old hag for Lenore's sake," Hiroshi finally broke the silence. "At least until the wedding's over. Truce, Mrs. Parker?"
"Only for Lenore," the woman snapped back, still refusing to look at Hiroshi.
"Mrs. Parker, you may return to the table," Erik said, letting go of her. "Don't even attempt to take one of our seats, or else we'll have another chat." As soon as Mrs. Parker was out of earshot, Erik began. "What kind of perverted bastard are you? Erotic fantasy art in plain sight with a child in the house!"
"It was tasteful art," Hiroshi replied.
"Naked women in suggestive poses are not tasteful!" Erik argued. "You're a deplorable father figure. I won't stand seeing such trash when we come to visit you, as Lenore is sure to want to visit occasionally. So if I inform you that we're dropping by, you'll take that garbage down and put it out of sight."
"Yes sir," Hiroshi said, giving a mock salute.
Erik released him and returned to the table with that damn immortal.
"You know, we're going to have an absolutely splendid reception after the wedding," Lenore remarked dryly, gesturing to Hiroshi and Mrs. Parker, who were quite pointedly ignoring each other.
"Don't worry chérie, I'm sure they'll make an effort to be friendly for appearance's sake," Erik replied loudly enough for the two to hear.
"Hey, guess what I just realized?" Ember piped up for farther down the table. "In the U.S., it's Thanksgiving today."
"Your point, muffin?" Hiroshi asked disinterestedly.
"Well, the whole family's together for dinner, just like the old days," Ember replied. "And we've got some new members too," she added, looking at the children around the table, those who had married into the family, Erik, and Hiroshi.
"Oh, don't revive that old tradition," Mark groaned.
"Too late. We're going to go around the table and everyone is going to think of something they're thankful for," Ember informed him. "Since Mark's so eager, we'll let him start."
"I'm thankful for all the years that old tradition remained dead and buried," Mark said. "And I long for those days to return."
It continued around the table, the adults coming up with meaningful things to be thankful for, while the children were thankful for toys or books or games. (Olivia's boyfriend George stated quite firmly that he was thankful for sex, which earned him a dark glare from Mark and Tori.)
"Well, I agree with George, it's good to be thankful for sex," Hiroshi said when his turn came. "But I'm also thankful for the inability of the police to find the murderer responsible for the recent killings of all those women who are found in the Bois."
Lenore shook her head in embarrassment. "Let's see, what I am thankful for?" she sighed. "Certainly not Hiroshi." She rested her chin on her hand, obviously deep in thought. "What am I thankful?" she mumbled.
"Come on," Ember prompted when Lenore had been silent for about a minute.
"This isn't Jeopardy, there's no limit on how long I have to answer," Lenore replied. "Oh, I've got it! I'm thankful that we're all together, despite how dysfunctional a family we happen to be."
Erik realized everyone had turned their eyes to him. "I am not a member of this family as of yet; thus, I am not required to participate in this little tradition of yours," he said casually.
"But George participated," Olivia pointed out.
"If your…suitor chooses to contribute his vulgar statement of what he is grateful for, that is his business. I, however, choose not to contribute," Erik retaliated.
"You should play the game too, Uncle Erik," Lucinda whined, sitting on his other side and staring up at him with pleading eyes. Naturally the child would think this was a game.
"Yeah, come on, Erik," Lenore added. "Isn't there anything you're thankful for?"
"I'm thankful that I don't have to interact with this family that often," he muttered.
"Take this seriously, Erik," Lenore chided.
"Why should I?"
"Because I'm asking you to. And we won't leave you alone until we get a serious answer," Lenore replied with a malicious smirk.
Erik sighed heavily. The one thing he had to be thankful for was none of their business, nor did he want to share it in front of them. But if Ember and Lenore were any indication of this family's stubborn nature, he knew he would have to answer them seriously at some point.
"I am thankful for…" he began, pausing for a brief moment. It was hard to say, especially in front of the Parker clan.
"Go on," Kathleen urged.
"I am thankful for…a sassy, stubborn, disobedient young woman who found darkness enthralling. A young woman who sees society for what it truly is, and understands its cruelties as I do. A young woman who sees light where there is only darkness, who never stops hoping and never gives up on faith. She lives every day to the fullest, always saying what's on her mind because she knows life is too fragile to waste time in hiding her true thoughts. A young woman who showed me compassion is not as lost to the world as it seems, who gives her soul to me with every kiss. A young woman who saw past the monster to the man underneath, and said what no other woman ever could; that she loved me. For Lenore, I am truly thankful," he finally said. Each word he spoke had made it just a bit easier to continue.
"That was lovely," Hiroshi praised him. Erik finally dared to look up from his plate and saw that the women at the table were all dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs. Good Lord, women could be so overly sensitive sometimes.
"My turn!" Lucinda crowed. "I'm thankful for Uncle Erik, cuz he's making me a pretty dress to play wedding in January!"
"Dear me, Tammy's less than happy. Only five reviews for the last chapter. Must you all make her so depressed?" Hiroshi said.
"I never knew a human could squirm for quite so long," Raghnall muttered, taking notes as Tammy struggled against the bonds Hiroshi had placed upon her.
"I do so love having stolen the keyboard," Hiroshi sighed happily.
"You immortals are nuts," Lenore remarked. Thankfully, she had managed to get Uriel and Ember out of the review reminder and back into the safety of the story. She'd have gone back there herself, if Erik hadn't opted to stay and watch Tammy's struggles. It seemed Erik was somewhat perturbed with the authoress for the whole Lenore-Uriel thing though.
"Well, I suppose it'd be best to come right to the point; we would like some reviews, please," Hiroshi informed the audience. "And remember, we accept anonymous reviews."
"I'm quite looking forward to the next chapter," Erik commented. "It's going to be our wedding. The more reviews Tammy receives, the more willing she is to dictate the words to Hiroshi. So, if you desire to read about the wedding, I suggest you review."
"What do you mean 'if'?" Lenore asked worriedly. "Wait, you mean she won't dictate if she doesn't get a lot of reviews?"
"Weren't you listening to those shrieking protests she made before I applied to duct tape to her mouth?" Raghnall inquired, still taking notes.
"Obviously not," Lenore muttered. "Yeah, people, review. I want to have my wedding, damnit!"
"Watch your language!" Hiroshi chided.