I don't own the BBC.
...
"What. The Hell."
"I don't know, Arthur." Merlin replied.
"Did Gaius slip us some mushrooms before we left?" Gwaine queried.
The three men lay on their stomachs at the crest of a large hill so as not to be skylined, looking down into a small valley below them.
"You're the court sorcerer Merlin, deal with it!" Arthur hissed, gesturing wildly at the mess before them.
"Maybe if we ignore it, it will just fizzle out." Merlin answered.
"Merlin, there have been five of these circuses now. What we need to do is destroy the source. It seems to be controlled by that ugly man in the horrible suit that's throwing his arms around. Maybe he is some sort of a dark sorcerer."
Merlin snorted. "He might think he is, but he isn't even a hedge wizard. You have more magic in your big toe than he does in his entire body. A little less than zero."
The three men winced as a large explosion hit their side of the valley.
"What are the shiny heaps of metal even doing?" Gwaine queried.
"They appear to be fighting." Arthur answered. "I don't know why. I seem to have lost the plot somewhere."
"I don't think there was one." Merlin sneered, practically screaming to be heard over the noise.
Arthur raised an eyebrow, eyes fixed on the edge of the explosions. "What is that scantily clad blonde maiden doing? Shouldn't she be running?"
Merlin followed his friend's line of sight, an eyebrow quirked. "I believe she is for what they call 'sexual objectification.' And probably a Damsel in Distress for the white middle aged male hero to save. Because someone thinks a woman is incapable of taking action in extreme circumstances." Merlin abruptly started laughing. "I would love to see 'Gana's reaction to this."
"Hey, Merlin, isn't that her?" Gwaine pointed down at the circus, indicating a tall dark haired form in chainmail with a gleaming sword in her hand.
Merlin's eyebrows shot skyward. "Ahhh...Yes."
Morgana stalked toward the man in the terrible suit, who continued to ignore her. The sorceress stopped two feet away, raised her sword, and with a roar decapitated the man with one swipe. As his headless body crumpled to the ground she repeatedly stabbed it. The detritus in the valley crumbled to dust as if she had broken some evil spell. Which she had.
"WITH THIS DRAGON FORGED BLADE I SLAY THEE! NOW STAY DEAD, DAMMIT!" Morgana roared.
Merlin smirked.
"Gwen is going to love this story." Arthur grinned.
"Bacon sandwich?" Offered Gwaine.