Dear reviewers, please do remember that I, Hiroshi, have control of the keyboard…
MJ MOD: Erik made a fuss about the erotic art because he finds that to be junk, hence he doesn't want to have to see it when he visits me. Yes, Lenore knows Erik's sterile. However, she doesn't have to be an immortal to marry Erik. Tammy said that naturally I'm gross (which I take offense to), and yes, poor Bishop falling in the tub.
Kathie: Once again, someone claims I'm creepy…Glad you liked the chapter though.
Iluvmyphantom: Yes, being in Bishop's mind was cute and he won't bite Erik again. I'm glad you enjoyed the family tradition, and no regrets more than I that I didn't kill Mrs. Parker.
Lethia: I won't bother telling you Tammy's response to your review. And I seriously doubt that weak little mortal can do anything to hurt me.
Lady Taevyn: Unfortunately, we won't get to Erik and Lenore's wedding in this chapter. The story took an unexpected twist, due to the fact that I have the keyboard. But it's a rather long chapter, hopefully that will make up for it.
Athena: I'm glad you found the chapter entertaining. It's always wonderful to know we make people laugh.
Hannalucky: Well, I suppose it's good that this is the craziest story you've ever read…rather makes the story somewhat unique and special, doesn't it, Tammy? (Tammy squirms in her bonds, grumbling into the duct tape.)
Artzee: You know, I don't think Raghnall's thinking about you while the two of you make out. At least, not in the way you want him to. Knowing him, he's thinking about how interesting of a study you would make.
I'm sure you all know the spiel by now, I don't own Phantom, fic takes place about twenty years into the present, blah blah blah, REVIEW…
"They won't marry us, I just know it," Lenore complained bitterly as she pulled on a business casual outfit.
"Must you be so negative?" Erik snapped back. Neither of the two was exactly in the best of spirits, as they were meeting with the priest today to discuss the marriage and obtain permission to be married in the Madeleine. Two hours after their meeting with the priest, the rehearsal would take place, and then the rehearsal dinner would be held in Sainte-Chapelle in the Paris courthouse (courtesy of Patrick).
"The Church doesn't like Catholics to marry non-Catholics, and they especially don't like it if the non-Catholic isn't baptized! And Hiroshi didn't have me baptized at all," Lenore pointed out. "Not to mention that you're an ex-Catholic."
"Well, they aren't privy to any of those facts. So as long as you don't mention it…"
"You want me to lie to a priest?"
"I never said you had to lie," Erik sighed.
"They're gonna ask. What am I supposed to do, just sit there and stare at them blankly?" Lenore inquired. "They're never going to approve this marriage."
"I can assure you it will be approved," Erik said with a knowing smirk. "I'm excellent at persuasion."
"You're not going to mess around with a priest's mind!" Lenore hissed.
"Of course not. I'm going to rearrange it," he replied. "Just a few tweaks and he won't even realize he never bothered to inquire as to your religion."
"You know, God's really gonna hate you for all this," Lenore muttered. "I mean, screwing over the Church, defiling the holy sacrament of marriage…"
"Or perhaps he'll be pleased that I'm going about this whole marriage thing properly."
"Ha ha. Let's go, or else we'll be late."
Erik was bored to tears. A two hour lecture on the importance and holy obligation of marriage was almost more than he could bear. Of course, it would've been a good deal shorter if Lenore hadn't constantly interrupted to ask questions.
"…definitely not a problem with Erik, but what if the spouse turns out to be abusive? Is divorce okay in the eyes of God and the Church under that circumstance?" she was asking.
"The marriage can't possibly be holy if your spouse is intentionally hurting you," the priest replied. He was about to go into more detail, but Erik had had enough.
"Isn't it time for the rehearsal?" he inquired, glancing at his pocket watch as if he honestly didn't know the time.
"Oh, yes, right," the priest concurred after checking his own wristwatch.
"But I still have loads of questions," Lenore mumbled.
"Another time, darling," Erik said.
They left the priest's office and journeyed out to the sanctuary, where they found the wedding party waiting patiently, with very little conversation occurring due to the tension given off by Sariel and Hiroshi, who glared at each other and stood on opposite sides of the altar as far as they could get from one another.
"Let's begin, shall we?" the priest said, noting the tension but hoping that ignoring it and settling down to business could solve the problem. "Erik, you'll stand here, facing the back of the sanctuary as you await her entrance. Your best man stands to the left, and then the groomsmen in the proper order, which depends on the order of the bridesmaids' procession."
"Well, it'll be Sariel first, then Kathleen," Lenore offered helpfully. John took the position next to Darius, and Mark stood at the end of the line.
"Sariel. What a lovely name, my dear," the priest commented. "I didn't know any mother out there would have thought to name her daughter after an archangel."
"Oh, there was no mother," Sariel replied. "Just the Father."
The priest looked at her, somewhat baffled, and Erik struggled to hide his amusement.
"I don't have time for that," Sariel suddenly said. "Honestly, I'm trying to rehearse for her wedding, this isn't the time. Can't you keep him alive for another hour or so?" There was a brief pause. "Fine, fine. If you'll excuse me for a few minutes, Lenore, the Chinese president was just assassinated. I have a soul to pick up, and it seems it can't wait."
"Oh, sure, go right ahead," Lenore said with a shrug. Sariel disappeared before their eyes, returning moments later, hurriedly taking off the black robe of Death.
"Such a nuisance, really," Sariel sighed as the robe vanished. "They never believe you're the angel of Death unless you wear that ridiculous getup."
The priest's eyes had gone as wide as humanly possible and his mouth was hanging open.
"Don't worry, I'm not here for your soul or to deliver the wrath of God or some such," she assured him. "I'm simply here to rehearse for this wedding, nothing more."
"I think your holy awesomeness has intimidated him," Lenore remarked when the priest continued to stare.
A resounding thud echoed throughout the Madeleine as the priest dropped his Bible in his hurry to cross himself and bow his head, muttering about having been so disrespectful to an archangel.
"Do stop that, we're all so sick of you people averting your eyes and trembling with fear in our presence," Sariel informed the priest.
"Oh…yes…of course…whatever you wish, Archangel Sariel," the priest said, looking up but clearly avoiding resting his eyes on Sariel.
"Perhaps we should get on with the rehearsal," Sariel prompted. "The longer I'm gone from Heaven, the more likely it is Lucifer will attempt an invasion."
"Oh. Oh! Yes, yes, the ring bearer and the flower girl, I'll need those two to lead the bridal procession," the priest continued, looking extremely flustered.
Diego, Kathleen's youngest son, decided to inform everyone of his opinion of being the ring bearer at that point. "I don't want to escort Lucinda down the aisle, she's my sister."
Kathleen rounded on the eight year old boy. "If you want me to give you special privileges like the older children, you have to show me you're mature. Mature people escort their sisters down the aisle, if they've been asked to," she said firmly.
"Fine. Lucinda, get up here!" Diego commanded. When Lucinda didn't reply, everyone began looking around, noticing that the little girl wasn't hanging around. She was finally spotted near the far end of the building, playing with the dog of a blind man who was praying before a statue of the Virgin Mary.
Kathleen marched over, grabbed her daughter's hand and walked the child back, giving her a lecture about responsibility all the way.
"I'm sorry," Lucinda apologized. "But the puppy looked lonely."
"When you reach myself and Erik, the two of you kneel on the cushions. The cushions that aren't here now but will be tomorrow," the priest reminded Lenore.
So I had issues figuring out where to kneel. So what? I mean, he tells me to kneel on cushions, and then there are none. How was I supposed to know?
"Then I give the greeting, then the Penitential Rite, which is followed by the opening prayer. This is followed by the liturgy. Now, Sariel has the First Reading, we hold a Responsorial Psalm, Mark has the Second Reading, then we have the Gospel Acclamation, Tori has the Gospel Reading after that, and I follow that with the Homily, at which point, the wedding party may be seated in the front row, except the bride and groom."
And I didn't realize that Erik and I have to stay here, kneeling. So sue me for not knowing about a Catholic wedding.
"After the Homily, the wedding party returns to their positions and we begin the Rite of Marriage. I'll ask Erik three questions, then I ask you the same questions. After you've responded accordingly, I ask you to join hands. At this point, your father comes forward and places your hand in Erik's. As soon as he's back in his seat, Erik gives his vows, you give yours, and then we move to the blessing of the rings. Then we exchange the rings, and I give another prayer. Then comes the Mass, where the wedding party gets to return to their seats except the bride and groom, just so we're clear on who I mean by the wedding party."
So I made the same mistake twice…
"We'll have the Liturgy of the Eucharist, then the Communion Rite, and then we come to the end of this long ceremony. At this point, I give you one last blessing, then those in attendance will sing a hymn as the entire wedding party, including the bride and groom in this instance, will go over to the register in the sacristy and sign it, Erik and Lenore signing last as a couple for the civil declaration. You return to the cushions, but you aren't required to kneel this time, Lenore. The bride and groom seal the union with a kiss and I present them publicly as a couple. You walk back down the aisle, and after that, you get some pictures taken before you head on to your reception," the priest concluded. "It's really very simple."
If it was simple, I wouldn't have had so many issues figuring out where to go and what to do.
"I recall the days when the bride and her father merely met the groom at a predetermined location, the father handed over the bride, the groom gave the father a few hundred sheep or goats or sometimes cows, and it was done," Sariel commented. "So much easier, really. I don't suppose you have any sheep or goats, do you, Erik?"
"I'm afraid not," Erik chuckled.
"Thank God, I really don't want to be traded for livestock," Lenore retorted.
Erik would have killed to get out of the rehearsal dinner. He was actually seriously considering arranging a way to kill off as many of the people present as possible. How ironic that I plot mass homicide in a courthouse.
Lenore had invited every person who had come in from the States to the rehearsal dinner, telling him that manners dictated it. Apparently it was rude to leave out-of-town friends and relatives at loose ends in an unfamiliar city.
Her family was huge. He'd never known it was possible for one person to be related to so many other people. Five aunts and one uncle from her mother's side, their spouses and children, and their children's children (as the youngest of Lenore's cousins from her First Life were now ten years older then her) had been invited. From her father's side, there were three aunts and one uncle, their spouses, their children, and their children's children. Of course, this was all provided Erik remembered everyone. He'd been introduced to so many aunts, uncles, and cousins that he could hardly remember any of their names, let alone which side of the family they were from and exactly how they were related to Lenore.
Then there was her church family, a rather small group. It seemed they were a bit more easygoing than Mrs. Parker, and had merely inquired about whether or not he believed in God. Well, seeing as how he knew God existed, he'd told them he did. It didn't mean that he lived a godly life, but they hadn't asked that.
Her friends were another small group, and he knew a few of them from before, like Lily and Brad (who had obviously been quite productive in their lives, as they had nine children in tow and two more back in the States who had moved out on their own). There were certain friends he met that he disliked on the spot. Raye, for example, was one of those girls that you knew would be talking about you behind your back the moment the opportunity presented itself. And there was Christi, who Lenore had told him was the embodiment of Hell, as she knew how to annoy anyone into a nasty temper and was impossible to get rid of. Lenore claimed Christi was immortal, as Christi seemed incapable of being injured, and thus, incapable of being killed.
And Lenore had been lost among this tide of people she knew, talking with someone she hadn't seen for 'half of forever' and who wanted to catch up with her. He wasn't necessarily jealous that she wasn't hanging onto his arm, as that would mean he would be forced to either listen to and/or participate in all her conversations, but at the same time, he felt very much excluded.
Erik was standing by himself against the wall, watching all her relatives and friends interacting with one another. Hiroshi, so charismatic, had managed to initiate conversations with many of these people, and flitted from group to group.
Lenore appeared in the crowd for a brief moment, making her way over to someone else who wanted her attention and Erik's eyes tried to follow her, but she was quickly lost in the horde of mortals.
"You never knew, did you?" Ember said, having come up beside him without his noticing. "You never knew so many people liked her. Or that she liked so many people."
"She said she didn't trust anyone," Erik replied.
"She doesn't," Ember agreed. "Lenore is the best actress the world will ever know. Say a few words to her, and she'll know exactly the type of person you want to see in her. She'll be that person in front of you, and somehow, even if she's someone else to one of your friends, right in front of you, you'll never figure out that she's not who she wants you to see. What she doesn't understand is that people don't love her for who she is to them. They love her for the light she has inside, and if she could only trust them, she'd have more friends than anyone on this earth."
"Have you ever told her this?" Erik asked.
"No. She doesn't know I see it. She plays at being what she expects me to see, and if I let her know I can see through it, she'd be crushed," Ember informed him. "She likes to think that no one can really see her, that she can be anything so long as someone wants her to be it. If Lenore thought anyone could see who she really was, I think she'd die. She'd feel as if she let people down by not living up to their expectations of her."
"That's absurd; Lenore's always saying people need to rise above society's expectations," Erik argued.
"Of course she says that," Ember laughed. "She spent her whole life trying to live up to our parents' expectations, as well as those of anyone else who entered into her life. She wants approval and acceptance. But she talks about rising above society's expectations because she wants to be free to be herself more than anything, and she knows she'll never be able to. Everyone always talks about the one thing they want more than anything, even if they know they can never have it."
"She's the only obstacle in her path," Erik pointed out.
"I know," Ember whispered. "But you can't blame her for that. She's hidden behind a mask for so long; she doesn't know how to take it off anymore. She probably doesn't even realize she wears it."
"You don't ever forget that kind of thing," Erik contradicted.
"Unless you want to convince yourself that you aren't wearing one," Ember shrugged, walking back into the throng.
Why would she hide like that? She knows she doesn't have to meet expectations, that it's ridiculous to shape oneself according to what others wish to see. Why do you insist on wearing so many different faces, my little one? Have you ever let me see your true face, or do you make believe for me as you do everyone else?
"Hey, you're Erik, right?" It was Christi.
"That's correct."
"Sucks to be you, Lenore's a bitch," Christi commented good naturedly. "All she ever does is insult people and yell profanities. She hits anyone weaker than her, but you don't strike me as being weaker than her, so I guess you haven't seen that."
So apparently Lenore played a rather abusive and bitter person for Christi. "Oh?" he said casually, not really caring to hold a conversation and hoping Christi would go away.
"Yeah. She really doesn't like people. I didn't ever think she'd get married, she's way too obsessed with having a perfect man, which is impossible. Not to get down on you or anything, but…"
"That's rather not fascinating," Erik remarked dryly. Certainly Christi would take the hint and leave.
"You know, all the characters she liked in books and movies were manipulative bastards who were very dominating. And very possessive of their lovers," Christi continued. "Not really her fault, though, it's natural to want someone to control every aspect of your life when you hate making decisions like Lenore does. And wanting a possessive lover, well that stems from her need for protection, since she's so weak."
"What about the manipulative part?"
"Oh, I think that's mostly a pity thing. She wants everyone to pay attention to her, you know, feel sorry and stuff for her. Then she uses their sympathy to get what she wants from them," Christi explained. Spotting Lenore for a moment in the crowd, Christi screamed Lenore's name at the top of her lungs before bouncing off to go bother his soon to be wife.
That girl isn't the embodiment of Hell; she's the spawn of Satan. Erik's ears were stilling ringing from that deafening shriek the banshee known as Christi had produced. Surely that thing is the antichrist.
"Having fun, Erik?" Hiroshi asked, dropping by for a quick chat.
"Watching Lenore french kiss Uriel would be more fun than this," Erik replied.
"Well maybe if you went around and started talking with people, it would be more enjoyable," Hiroshi suggested.
Erik snorted derisively.
"Fine, spend your night sulking on the wall," Hiroshi said dismissively, returning to his socializing.
"Yeah, thanks Aunt Joan, I'll take care of it," Lenore called back as she navigated her way through the crowd.
Upon reaching her destination, Lenore crossed her arms beneath her breasts and put on the fiercest glare she had. "You haven't been talking to anyone all night," she hissed, rather put out.
Erik, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest in obvious disinterest, merely shrugged.
"This is your chance to get to know my family and friends," she pointed out.
"I'm not the only person at fault. They could take Christi for example and approach me instead of making me come to them," Erik replied.
"No one else is as stupid as Christi. Everyone else can see your aloof, bored, and rather disapproving attitude," Lenore informed him.
"I have no interest in getting to know these people; they'll be a miniscule part of our lives, if that."
"You're just afraid that you might find that some of these people are nice, that you might want to make friends with them."
"What would be the point of that?" Erik snapped. "They'll all die soon, they wouldn't be around long enough for me to actually become friends with any of them."
"They're not gonna die that soon," Lenore argued. "I mean, most of them won't anyway. And besides, it's not about when they die, it's about having someone to talk to."
"Time is much different for me, chérie," Erik responded. "To you, ten years seems like a very long time, but to me, it's merely a minute. And I'm afraid I don't want to be able to talk to people for only a few minutes before I can never see them again."
Lenore's arms dropped to her sides as her glare slipped off her face. Shaking her head, she turned to start back into the vast collection of relatives and friends.
"Where are you going?" he inquired. Of course, that wasn't what she heard. His tone told her what he really wanted to say; "Don't leave me alone. I want you to stay for awhile and talk to me."
"I'm finding someone who wants to talk to me," she replied. "I know you don't want to talk to me. Because I've only got about six minutes left to live, and you don't like talking to be people who will gone in a few minutes."
"I asked you to marry me because I want to share in every minute in your life," Erik responded, grabbing her arm so she couldn't walk off.
"They're a part of those minutes, Erik. And you've been ignoring them," she said.
"I…suppose…I could make an effort," he finally conceded, looping her arm through his. "So who are we speaking with first?"
Erik spent the night observing the many faces of Lenore he'd never seen before. It was actually quite surprising. She took on so many different personas that Erik began to believe he didn't know the first thing about his fiancé, which was a terribly unpleasant thought.
"So what do you do for a living, boy?" one of her uncles asked sharply, glaring at Erik in the manner of a suspicious father.
"Uncle Beanie, don't," Lenore said, a slight blush on her face and a rather cute little frown.
"You're the youngest daughter of my brother, who can't be here to make sure this boy deserves you," her uncle replied. "It's my job to make sure you don't end up with some abusive drunkard."
"Erik's not"-
"How much do you earn in a year, boy? How old are you? Where's your family?" her uncle inquired sharply.
"You could say I'm in the insurance business. I earn roughly seven hundred thousand American dollars a year, I'm one hundred and seventy eight years old, and my family is long dead," Erik answered. Let that uncle of hers chew on that for a bit.
"That's bullshit," the man responded without missing a beat. "Give me your last name, I want to do a check for criminal records."
"I assure you there's no record on me," Erik smirked. "That's not to say I haven't committed my share of crimes, but if you don't get caught…"
"Erik!" Lenore hissed, stomping on his foot in the attempt to keep him in line.
Trying to ignore the throbbing pain that her high heeled shoe had caused, Erik glared at her uncle. If the man would just drop the subject, this wouldn't be a problem. "Regardless, my personal life is none of your business. It's a very touching sentiment and all, trying to take her father's place and judge me in the interest of Lenore's wellbeing. But she does have a father figure in this Second Life, and he has deemed me worthy. If you still doubt my worth, have a chat with Hiroshi," Erik snapped, turning on his heel and dragging Lenore away from the man.
"Erik, that was extremely rude!" Lenore snarled, not bothering to keep her voice down to avoid attracting attention.
"I suppose it was," he replied. "But it was also quite rude of your uncle to put me through an interrogation. The choice is yours to make, not his. And you've already made that decision; thus his opinion has no importance." Erik had finally managed to drag her out of the Sainte-Chapelle into a hallway of the courthouse, assuring them some privacy for a few moments.
"Are you determined to ruin the evening for me?" Lenore asked bitterly. Erik could tell she was already creating a scorching reply if the answer was 'yes'.
"You know social gatherings aren't my cup of tea," Erik replied evasively.
"I don't care if social gatherings are your cup of tea or dose of castor oil," Lenore bit back. "I'm asking for one night. Are you incapable of being sociable for one night?"
"You ask for two nights," Erik reminded her. "You were determined to have that damn reception tomorrow night, and they've all been invited to that as well."
"You know, that is asking too much of you. I'm sorry," she said, not sounding even remotely apologetic. "Why don't you go home and start preparing for socializing tomorrow night, and I'll stay here?"
Erik tried to keep a firm rein on his temper. "Do remember that you're not allowed out of my sight for more than five minutes."
"So what? Hiroshi told me I can get around that one so long as I'm in another immortal's sight," Lenore informed Erik, a smug smile tugging up the corners of her lips. "And Hiroshi's here socializing…"
Damn you, Hiroshi! Of course Hiroshi would tell her that; anything to ruin what little bit of control Erik could exert over her. Erik couldn't reply just yet, as he knew that his temper would get the better of him. That would end up with him shouting at her that they were leaving now, whether she liked it or not, before throwing her over his shoulder and storming out.
"You look pissed," Christi's energetic voice said cheerfully as she appeared seemingly out of nowhere behind Lenore. "You really need to take a chill pill; I told you Lenore's a bitch."
"Stop poofing!!" Lenore shouted at Christi. "I hate it when you do that 'poof' appear out of nowhere thing!"
"But it annoys you, and that's soooo much fun," Christi giggled.
"Lenore, people have been asking"- Hiroshi began to say as he entered the corridor from one of the side doors. He stopped upon seeing the scene, taking a brief moment to assess the situation. "You're Christi, aren't you?"
"Who the hell are you?" Christi asked warily. "How do you know my name?"
"I'm Lenore's father," Hiroshi replied, walking over to the girl and linking arms with her, starting to pull her away from Erik and Lenore. "Lenore's mentioned you; she told me a good deal actually. I have a friend who I believe would be greatly interested in you…"
Christi had been struggling to pull her arm free, but had yet to succeed. Superhuman strength was another perk of immortality. "OH MY GOD! LENORE, HE'S A DEMON!!!" Christi shrieked. "I can't get loose!!!"
"No, he's not a demon. He's Jack the Ripper," Lenore muttered under her breath.
"Now, we'll have to head downstairs to meet my friend," Hiroshi continued addressing Christi as if she hadn't just screamed about him being a demon.
"We're on the ground floor, idiot," Christi snapped. "There's no downstairs."
"There's always a downstairs," Hiroshi corrected pleasantly. "I think you'll enjoy Belial's Dark Citadel, Christi."
The two disappeared through a dark portal, and Erik had the distinct feeling that going to Hell would be like going home for Christi. Most likely, that annoying imp would find a way to kill Satan and take over. Which was a rather frightening thought.
"It seems Hiroshi decided he's had enough socializing for the evening," Erik commented, smirking at Lenore. Now she couldn't propose staying here while he went home.
"I'm not asking for much," Lenore huffed. "I just want you to make a good impression on my friends and family. And the only way to do that is by conversing politely with them. Not insulting them, or threatening them, or anything else that can be taken offensively. Can't you manage that for two more hours?"
The answer was 'no', but not for the reason she would think. I hate this. I hate discovering how many different sides of you exist that I've never seen before. I hate trying to figure out whether or not anyone sees the real you at all. Ember thinks she does, but I've seen parts of you that I know Ember hasn't. I hate thinking that I don't know you. I hate worrying that you're still hiding things from me. And I especially hate thinking that I might never see the real you at all, that you might hide behind a mask for the rest of your life and I won't even realize it.
"Who are you?" he asked, staring into her eyes intently as if that would provide the answer he needed.
"What are you talking about?" Lenore snapped. "That's like, the stupidest question I've ever heard. I'm Lenore, you moron."
Such a temper, my little one. Is that because Christi was here moments ago and you've not yet taken off the mask you wear for Christi? "I know your name," Erik hissed.
"Then why did you ask?"
"You're a different person with each of your guests, and I'm afraid I've quite lost you in all the different Lenores you've been showing tonight. Which leads me to wonder if I ever knew the real Lenore, if you wear a mask for me as you do for everyone else," Erik responded.
There's no need to panic, you told him years ago that you wear a mask for people based on their expectations. Just breathe and think about this calmly and rationally. Lenore hated that breathing had become so hard, as if her next breath would bring the whole building crashing in on her, hated that all she could do was stare at the floor. Her heart raced frantically in her chest, and she wished with all her might that Erik would stop staring at her.
"If you really wanna go home now, I guess we can," she said, hoping to distract him and avoid answering the question.
"We're not leaving until you tell me who you are," Erik replied.
"Oh, okay. In that case…" Lenore shrugged as she turned to head back into Sainte-Chapelle and hopefully lose Erik in the crowd of her friends and family.
Erik wouldn't have it though. Grabbing her arm, he jerked her back, pushing her up against the wall. He took her wrists and pressed them into the wall at the level of her eyes, successfully pinning her in place.
"Why are you afraid to answer me?" Erik hissed, fury burning in his eyes.
"Leave me alone," she whispered turning her head to the side so she didn't have to look at him.
Erik pulled her an inch away from the wall so that he could slam her back into it. "Look at me!" he snarled. "Don't try to play a frightened little girl to get out of this!" Lenore refused to look at him, mostly because she wasn't play-acting right now. He slammed her into the wall again, frustrated with her lack of cooperation.
"Someone's probably going to come looking for me soon. If they see this, they'll all be out here in seconds, beating you up for hurting me," Lenore informed him, still not looking at him.
"That won't happen, I'm afraid," Erik replied. "Firstly, as your future husband, I have a right to know who you truly are. Secondly, I can easily escape down to Hell before they could even lay a finger on me. And I won't hesitate to bring you along for the ride."
"Let go," she commanded softly.
"As soon as you answer the damn question."
"Let go!" she shouted, attempting to throw all her weight forward to get loose. Of course, that failed miserably. She spent the next few minutes frantically squirming and wriggling to free herself, but the only result was that she exhausted herself to the point where she couldn't struggle anymore. She was gasping for air and Erik's grip on her wrists was now tighter than it had been before (as he wanted to be certain she wouldn't escape), cutting off circulation. "Let go," she pleaded. "You're hurting me." Maybe she could play the sympathy card…
"If you hadn't tried to escape, I wouldn't have to hold you so tightly," he responded coldly. So much for the sympathy card.
"Let go," she tried again, this time bursting into tears and letting her legs buckle beneath her so that Erik's grip on her wrists was the only thing keeping her from collapsing to the floor.
"Don't give me those crocodile tears," Erik sighed in exasperation. "And stand up, there's nothing wrong with your legs in this life."
But Lenore had no intentions of cooperating. Instead, she only sobbed harder and relaxed her body so that it was like a dead weight.
Erik let go of her wrists and her bottom hit the floor rather painfully. Before she could scramble away, he dropped down onto her lap, trapping her legs beneath him.
"Get off," she protested, sniffling to keep her nose from dripping.
"Who are you?"
"Get off!"
"Who are you?"
"Get off, damnit!"
"Who are you?"
"The idiot who agreed to marry you, now get off!!"
"Who are you?"
"A woman who's severely annoyed! Now get the fuck off!"
Erik failed to repeat his question; he slapped her across the face. He said nothing about her language, merely waited for her to recover from the shock of being struck for her profanity before saying, "Who are you?"
"Stop it, I'm not answering you," she snarled, leaning back against the wall as it seemed Erik was going to sit on her lap until she answered him. In which case they could be here a very long time.
"Damn you, woman! I merely wish to know who it is I'm marrying," Erik pointed out. "Am I marrying the Lenore who's all smiles and pretty words for her pastor and his wife, or am I marrying the Lenore who's violent and bitter for Christi? Or perhaps the Lenore who is incredibly sexually suggestive around her friends?"
"Just drop it, okay? I don't want to talk about it," Lenore whispered, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at him.
"Then I suppose we'll be postponing our marriage," Erik replied, his hurt audible in his tone, despite the fact that he had tried so hard not to let her hear it.
"Why?"
"I'm not going to marry you if you have to pretend to be someone you're not to make me happy," Erik said softly, his left hand coming up to caress her cheek.
"I don't do it to make other people happy," she informed him. "Who am I…God, that's a loaded question." She sighed heavily. Where to begin…
"I…I'm sorry," Lenore started with. Best to get that said and out of the way. "It's not you. I…I…I pretend for everyone, Erik. Everyone. Even myself. Yes, I wear a mask around you, just like I do with everyone else. Don't feel bad that you never saw it; I'm a master at what I do."
Lenore kept her eyes closed, too afraid that what she might see in his eyes would kill her. "And it's not your fault either. I don't trust, because I don't know how. It's easier to just be what people want me to be. At least, it is for me. It's so simple to figure out what people want to see when they look at me, and I'm a good enough actress to pull it off. So why bother disappointing them? It's just so simple to let them see what they want. No one will reject me if I'm what they want me to be. I just…I just can't trust that anyone will want a disappointment like me, so I have to live up to everyone's expectations."
"Who do you pretend to be for me?" The question was so soft, she almost didn't hear it.
"What do you want to see in me, Erik? You want to see someone who can trust, so I pretend to trust. You want to see a woman who's strong, who's capable of making it on her own. I'm weak…so weak…I always need someone. But of course, that's not what you see, is it? You want to see a woman who won't cower in fear of you, and that's the only thing I don't pretend for you. You do scare me sometimes, but…I like that kind of thing. I like aggression, I like male dominance in the relationship. I like to struggle because it makes me feel as if I'm doing something to try and free myself from the slavery of society's expectations," Lenore replied.
"Thank you for your honesty," Erik said. Finally, she dared to open her eyes. His eyes looked down on her with pity. "For now on, I want you to be yourself. I don't want you to pretend anything for me anymore."
"But…what if it's the mask you love?"
"Then I will learn to love what lies beneath it."
"Erik…umm…" Lenore ventured tentatively, not sure if she wanted to say anything.
"What is it?"
"Can you get off now?"
Erik shifted himself around until he was straddling her, supporting his own weight. "How's that?" Without giving her a chance to reply, he pressed his lips to hers in another one of his soul-stealing kisses. His hands slid into her hair, entangling themselves hopelessly.
Lenore kept shifting herself slowly, making sure Erik followed every movement, until she had the wall to her right and was able to lay back. Erik was more than willing to lay her down; as soon as he knew the wall was out of the way, he pushed her down as his kiss became more aggressive, more demanding. Her right hand shot up along the wall, her fingers scrabbling for something to hold on so she wouldn't drown in the passion.
Just as she was about to push Erik up and tell him they should head back before someone came looking, she heard her mother's voice. "HE'S RAPING HER!" Mrs. Parker screamed at the top of her lungs. Lenore could feel the floor vibrating and hear the thundering of feet as uncles, male cousins, and male friends came rushing to save her.
"Damn fucking bitch," Erik snarled as he broke the kiss.
Erik knew he was outnumbered and wouldn't be given a chance to explain himself. He had to get out of there, with Lenore in tow, immediately. He didn't have time to try and get out of the courthouse; they were too close, he could see them coming through the door Lenore's mother had screamed her misunderstanding into.
Damn, it looks like Hell's the only choice I've got. Opening a portal beneath them, Erik tried to console himself with the fact that he'd just escaped an insanely long and intensely painful beating.
Lenore screamed as they fell through the portal, but she needn't have worried. They landed on a large, soft bed. Every member of the Condemned Circle had apartments in Satan's castle in Hell, so Erik had linked the portal to his private chambers. Not that he was ever there often, so it looked rather impersonal.
"Splendid entrance, Keeran," Raghnall praised.
Erik quickly glanced around the room and was displeased to find the entire Circle had gathered in his room, as well as Satan.
"Who are they?" Lenore inquired, seeing as how she only knew two of the Circle's members. Then she noticed Christi staring off into space, sitting at Raghnall's feet. "What's wrong with Christi?"
"Oh, I had to give her a bit of a tranquilizer," Raghnall said dismissively. "She was a bit too rambunctious to leave her in my laboratory by herself during this little visit."
"I would like some privacy, if it's not too much to ask," Erik snarled. After all, he couldn't really do much with Lenore if the whole Circle was going to watch.
"You can't fuck kitten now," Hiroshi sighed. "There are ceremonies that need to be taken care of."
"Like what?" Erik snapped. Ceremonies. Ridiculous. They were just making an excuse to keep him from doing what he wanted.
"Think of these ceremonies like a pre-wedding party," Raghnall said with a smile. "You each have a separate ceremony. I was quite delighted to find the documents detailing these ceremonies in tact, you know; the ceremonies haven't been performed for a few millennia…"
"Anyway, a member of the Circle must go with kitten on hers," Hiroshi said, his eyes gleaming in a frightening manner. "As her father, I volunteer."
Raghnall, sitting next to Hiroshi, reached over and tapped a pressure point on Hiroshi's neck, knocking the man unconscious. "Oh, what a shame. It seems Conner's unavailable," he remarked cheerfully. "I suppose I'll have to go with her instead."
"I don't like the sound of this," Lenore muttered. "Can we go home now, Erik?"
"No," Satan answered, examining his nails as though bored with this whole exchange. "I'm afraid I've already locked all the portals; you aren't leaving until you've gone through the ceremonies, darling."
"Let's get started, shall we?" Raghnall beamed.
"Let go of me or I'll rip your head off!" Lenore threatened Raghnall. Erik had grudgingly agreed to going through these ceremonies and Raghnall had grabbed Lenore by the arm, yanking her off to do whatever it was she had to do. Of course, she'd been protesting something awful, so she had been thrown over Raghnall's shoulder while he led Christi along, who happened to be wearing a leash and collar so Raghnall wouldn't lose track of her.
"Oh, you're so very vicious. Such a shame I can't take notes right now," he sighed.
"You're disturbing! I hate you," Lenore hissed.
"I just can't wait to observe your interaction with Christi after the Defaeco Ritus," Raghnall bubbled excitedly. "Both of you are quite wonderful subjects for study on your own, but the two of you together…"
"Defa what?" Lenore inquired in bewilderment.
"Defaeco Ritus. The Rite of Cleansing. It's the second ceremony," Raghnall explained.
"Well what's the first?"
"Sordesco Ritus," Raghnall replied. "That will be an interesting one to observe, I have no doubt."
"And what's that one?"
"You'll see."
"I don't like the sound of that."
"Hiroshi volunteered to perform that rite, but we all voted against that, as he's a father figure to you and that would just be disturbing," Raghnall replied. "Oh, here we are." Raghnall pushed open a large oak door to his right and walked in, closing the door behind Christi and setting Lenore down.
"Quite a pretty one," a man's voice commented from the shadows. "It will be a pleasure to perform this rite, Raghnall."
Lenore grabbed for the doorknob; there would be no ceremony if she had her way about it. Something silvery and sticky shot out of the darkness, wrapping around her wrist. There was a jerk on the other end of this sticky rope-like substance and Lenore was dragged a few feet away from the door in the direction of the shadows.
"What is this stuff?" Lenore muttered, touching the substance with her other hand. The sticky substance clung to her other hand as well, but she managed to pull that hand free. Though it would be impossible to free the wrist it held.
"I don't think you want to know, Lenore," Raghnall said, taking a seat in the chair by the door. Christi stood next to him, still in her drugged haze, staring off into space stupidly. Raghnall whipped out some parchment and a pen, settling in for observations.
Lenore started back for the doorknob at a run and managed to catch hold of it just as the silvery rope jerked her wrist back the other way. The result was that she clung to the door for dear life with one hand, feeling as if her right arm would be ripped out of its socket due to the pull of the rope in the opposite direction.
"Do let go of the door, insect. You're wasting time," the mysterious voice sighed.
"You let go of me!" Lenore replied. She could feel her fingers starting to slip off the doorknob and she prayed that he would comply with her wishes before her hand lost its grip.
"And not do the duty given to me by the Condemned Circle? Having tea and crumpets with Christ would be better than the punishment I'd receive for failing the Circle."
"Then take a trip to Heaven and have your tea party," Lenore grumbled, her fingertips barely hanging on now.
"I'm not fond of the taste of tea," the voice replied casually. "I like blood much better."
"Freak. Have blood and crumpets then." Just at that moment, her fingertips lost their grip on the door knob and she when flying back into the shadows.
Strong arms wrapped around her, hands sliding sensually over her bare arms. She could feel odd, soft protuberances on the man's fingers that reminded her of having insects crawling on one's skin, which made her shiver. "Don't be so tense," he commanded. "I'll only hurt you badly." Lenore twisted her head around to look at him, but all she saw in the darkness was two silvery eyes shining brightly and focused on her.
"Raghnall, you are so dead when I tell Erik about this," Lenore hissed.
"Death threats," Raghnall muttered, scribbling furiously.
"You are so weird," Lenore mumbled at Raghnall. "Stop fiddling with my hair!" she yelled at this mysterious man who was currently pulling her hair back off her neck. "And what the hell's your name? And what are you?"
"I am called Veleno," the man told her, his lips brushing her ear as he whispered to her. "And I'm a demon."
She was about to ask what kind of demon when two elongated teeth sank into her neck. Her first thought was 'vampire', but that thought vanished the moment she felt something had been injected into her blood instead of having blood sucked out of her. Fear raged through Lenore as she quickly lost feeling, and the ability to move anything other than her eyes.
Laying her down on the floor, Veleno disappeared into a corner of the dark room, leaving Lenore wondering what the hell that had been about. Raghnall complained about the lack of light in the room making it hard for him to record information and Veleno responded that Raghnall could light a few candles if necessary.
Lenore would have screamed at what the light revealed, had she been capable. Veleno had a total of six arms, all of which were currently employed in the business of spinning an enormous web.
Raghnall is dead when Erik finds out, and I'll kill Veleno myself, since Erik always lets spiders go.
When Veleno finished spinning the gigantic web, he took her to it. Carefully navigating the thick threads, he walked out onto it, placing her in the center. Using claw-like fingernails on his second arm on the left side, he slit her clothes down the front and gently pushed the fabric off her body, letting the cloth get stuck around her in his webbing.
"Don't worry, little butterfly, I won't eat you," Veleno promised, running the hands of his first pair of arms across her skin, which were the ones containing what she now knew to be setules that made her shiver. His hands continually returned to her breasts and the area between her legs and Lenore desperately prayed for any interruption at all, even if it was Hiroshi coming in take over.
Veleno retreated to the edge of the web just as she came out of her paralysis. Lenore didn't dare struggle, as that would only get her hopelessly entangled in his web. I'm not going to let you have me that easy, bastard. She knew enough about spiders to know that the center of the web was the most sensitive to vibrations and that her struggling could topple and ensnare him had he stayed close to her, which was why spiders waited at the edge of the web for their prey to wrap themselves in the thread through struggling before consuming the meal.
He watched for a few minutes, obviously expecting a struggle. Climbing the wall and then crawling across the ceiling, he descended on a strand of silk to hang inches above her. "What a smart little bug you are," he commented, a pleased grin on his face. "And yet stupid at the same time. You're only helping me in my goal." That said, he crawled back up his thread, across the ceiling, down the wall, and returned to his position at the edge of the web.
"Raghnall," Lenore called, her voice trembling slightly. "Help me out here, please."
"Darling, it's part of the ceremony," Raghnall replied, still taking notes.
"But…but…I'm scared of spiders," Lenore squeaked.
"Oh? How intriguing of a study this will make!" Raghnall remarked, delight glinting in his eyes.
"Are you ready to begin, my butterfly?" Veleno inquired.
"No!" Lenore answered firmly. Whatever it was he intended to "start" was not something she wanted, she was sure of that.
Veleno smiled maliciously and tapped a thread in the web. When Lenore felt a vibration on one of her breasts, she jerked inadvertently. It seemed the reason he had been so obsessed with touching very personal areas was to rig up an almost invisible web across those areas so that he could stimulate her by vibrating the threads linked to the miniature webs. The result of her twitch was a slight binding of her arms with the threads of the main web.
"I'm quite sorry this has to be done this way," Veleno said sincerely. "But I'm a mix of breeds, you see. My mother was a Redback, and my father was a ground Crab Spider. I seem to have inherited both species' mating rituals. Thus, I entice you with vibration and bind you to the web before mating. I'm actually a creation of Raghnall; spiders don't mix breeds on their own."
"My condolences," Lenore muttered. She called to Christi, hoping her friend would help her, but Christi was mentally on holiday and didn't even register that anyone had spoken to her.
Raghnall is dead the next time I see him. If he hadn't found those damn documents, we wouldn't have to suffer these ridiculous ceremonies.
Erik was currently locked in a room with a female rabbit demon, who was all but dying for his attention. She kept scurrying around, trying to get him to chase her as part of the mating rituals she was accustomed to.
Dear God, if Lenore's being chased by a male rabbit… Male rabbits had been known to get too excited and violently kick prospective mates during the ritual, injuring the doe inadvertently.
"Woman, I have no intention of mating with you," Erik snarled. The bunny girl stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening and becoming teary. "Stop trying to make me feel remorse for hurting your non-existent feelings."
With an angry snarl, she leapt onto him, tackling him to the ground. He should have realized a demon wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. But Erik was stronger than this rabbit demon and he managed to roll her over onto her back. She seemed quite taken aback and uncertain as to how to handle the situation; rabbits didn't copulate with the female on her back and thus, the bunny girl was frozen in shock, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do in this situation.
While her tiny brain try to ponder things out, Erik decided to check up on Lenore, his mind reaching out for hers. It took a few moments, but he managed to find her and connected with her.
Lenore, are you alright?
Erik? her voice quivered in his mind.
Are you alright?
Define alright, Lenore replied.
Alright would mean you aren't running away from a sex-obsessed rabbit demon.
Well, I don't like your definition of the word. I'm most certainly not alright, as I'm currently experiencing spider foreplay!
Erik leapt off the rabbit girl (who was still trying to figure out what to do from her position on her back) and made for the door. It didn't matter that it was locked; he'd break it down if he had to. He would not allow some damn spider demon to molest Lenore, especially since he knew how frightened she was of arachnids.
"Just enjoy your little bunny, Erik," Satan's voice sounded outside the door. "Don't try to interrupt Lenore's Sordesco Ritus."
"I'll not suffer my wife being raped by a spider," Erik replied, pounding a fist against the door in frustration.
"Don't think of it as rape. Think of it as one last fling before she commits," Satan suggested.
"You're despicable," Erik hissed.
"Play with the bunny, Erik," Satan sighed. "You can't move to the Defaeco Ritus until you've fucked her. Just like Lenore can't move on until Veleno's had her."
Lenore sat in the pool-sized bath, wearing a rather murderous look. When Veleno had finished with her, she had moved on to this bath, which was the second rite according to Raghnall. Raghnall was sitting off to the side, scribbling desperately to record as much information as possible. Christi was slowly coming out of her haze, occasionally seeming to notice that there were people in the room besides herself.
A member of the Circle she was not familiar with was bathing her, as Raghnall said the documents dictated that the person undergoing the rite wasn't allowed to cleanse themselves and their bather must be someone of the opposite sex that was somehow related to the bride or groom.
"I'm going to get my revenge, just you wait," she hissed at Raghnall. She was quite certain he'd invented these stupid rites, just so he'd have interesting scenarios to observe her.
When the cleansing was finally done, Lenore got out of the tub, expecting to be handed a robe or some clothes. Instead she was immediately escorted to the next room, where she was to receive the Probatur Fidelis.
Lenore's eyes widened in shock when she entered the room. Had she been an anime character, she would've had blood spurting from her nose. There was an exceptionally large bed in the center of the room, and lounging in the middle of the bed, with the covers pulled up just high enough to hide a private area, was Uriel, wings fully spread out. She knew it couldn't be Uriel; he wouldn't be in Hell. But they'd done an exceptional job of producing a very believable copy.
"Lenore…come to bed with me," the fake Uriel said, giving her an unbelievably sexy grin. God, it even sounded like him!
Erik had been rather disturbed throughout the second ritual. It was terribly awkward; Hiroshi had brought Ember down to bathe Erik, as the bather must be someone of the opposite sex related to the bride or groom. And having one's future sister-in-law give one a bath was a very uncomfortable experience.
Not that Ember seemed to mind. She was very enthusiastic about the idea, despite the fact that she was married. (Erik was truly shocked that Ember had never tried to take Lenore's place in his affections, what with the fact that both Parker girls had been obsessed with the idea of having a romance with him.)
He had been escorted to the third ritual, which was called a test of loyalty. Erik seriously doubted there was anyone that could tempt him into being unfaithful.
"Erik…" a soft, familiar voice called from the bed in the center of the room.
Damn them.
Brown curls framed that beautiful, innocent face. Erik could tell she was naked beneath the sheets. She smiled that radiant smile and patted the bed to make sure he knew he was welcome to share the bed with her.
He took a few steps towards her before catching himself. No. I can't. "Erik, I'm sorry for leaving you," Christine apologized, hanging her head and looking properly ashamed.
"Christine, I can't"- he began.
"I was afraid of my feelings for you. I just didn't know how to handle them. I was frightened and I ran," she explained. "What I didn't realize was that those feelings were true love."
Erik silently cursed at himself; he'd come up beside the bed without realizing it. "Please stop it, this is"-
"I love you, Erik," Christine said with such sincerity it was impossible to think she was lying.
He found he was sitting on the bed now, and his hands had decided to cup Christine's beautiful, perfect face. "It cannot be, Christine. It couldn't work then, and it won't work now," he told her, steeling his will to fight the temptation.
"Have you…have you found someone else?" Christine said, her eyes filling with tears. "She can't sing like I can, I know she can't. Let me sing for you, Erik. Any song you wish."
"Her voice may not be as perfect as yours, but I find it enjoyable," he replied, struggling with the part of him that wanted to dry Christine's tears and give in to this illusion.
"She won't love you like I do, Erik. She won't! Please," Christine begged. "Please don't tell me that you don't want me. We both know it's a lie. I'm ready to be yours, Erik, I am. Let me be your wife."
"Yes, I want you," he admitted. "But I won't hurt her like that. You say she won't love me like you do. That may be true, but she loves me with all her heart, and I couldn't ask her to give more than that. Lenore and I are to be married tomorrow, Christine, and I would never dream of leaving her at the altar."
"Then at least give me one night, one chance to show you how deeply I love you," she pleaded.
Erik sighed and did the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life. Standing up, he turned his back to Christine and walked away from her. A door appeared in the wall, and, knowing he'd passed the test, Erik walked through it, happy these ridiculous ceremonies were at an end. Surely Lenore was waiting for him in the next room.
Satan was lounging on a couch, a truly delighted grin on his face. "Very good, Erik, I was certain Christine would get you," he declared.
Erik looked around the room worriedly, but Lenore wasn't present. If she found out about Christine, she would've been terribly jealous.
"Oh, this marriage is perfect," Satan sighed happily. "You have no idea what it means to me." Satan closed his eyes for a moment, envisioning something that made him beam. "I must do something to reward you. Perhaps…would you like me to finish what Hiroshi started? Would you like me to make your face perfect?"
Erik seriously considered this proposal. To be perfect, to never have to wear a mask in public…But what about Lenore? Would she want his face perfect? Surely she wouldn't object. And her legs were perfect now, so wouldn't it be fair for him to have his ugly deformity corrected?
She didn't fall in love with my face. She fell in love with who I am. She accepts this imperfection; there's no need to change anything for her. It would be selfish to accept it only for my own purposes.
"I'm fine with my face the way it is," he finally answered. He hoped he wouldn't regret it, wouldn't find out later that Lenore would've wanted him to take that offer.
"If you're sure," Satan shrugged. "But if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask. I owe you one, Erik." There was a brief pause where Satan closed his eyes once again, letting a smile show. "The perfect instrument to ensure my reign; fortune showers me with priceless treasures." Opening his eyes, he addressed Erik once again. "Clothes are on the table to your right. Lenore is through the door to your left. She took a few more minutes with her test than you did…"
Lenore shifted on the couch. She'd had a hell of a time refusing that copy of Uriel. In fact, she had climbed into bed with him and almost kissed him before she managed to resist the temptation and walk away.
Erik entered the room, dressed in a black robe similar to the one she'd been provided with. "Are you alright?" he asked immediately, hurrying over to her and sitting next to her, his eyes already searching for any sign of injury.
"I've been better," she confessed. "I mean, how would you feel if you were raped by a spider, bathed by a stranger, and tempted by a carbon copy of an archangel?"
"If it's any consolation, I had a rabbit forced on me and your sister bathed me," Erik replied.
And Christine tempted you, didn't she? You don't have to hide it you know. It's true, I'm somewhat jealous. But I know you resisted her, and that's what matters. "Somehow, I doubt a rabbit was as bad as Veleno," Lenore muttered.
"At least you didn't have to chase someone around the room," Erik responded.
"No, I got jerked across the room violently, had a shot of venom, laid on the floor completely paralyzed while watching Veleno spin a web of doom, then be laid in the center of said web, have my clothes slit off, and have thousands of setules slide over rather personal areas of my body as he rigged up a web on those areas in such a manner that he could vibrate the threads to stimulate me," Lenore pointed out. "Let me tell you, webs are extremely strong. I mean, that thing was rocking pretty hard, and the threads never broke. But the worst part was definitely when we were dangling from the ceiling by a single strand. The swinging is…" Lenore stopped there, shuddering as she remembered that particular experience.
"I'm sorry," Erik said, taking her in his arms and giving her a comforting hug. "If I could've helped you, I would have."
"Let's go home," Lenore suggested, more than ready to leave Hell. A few minutes later, Erik was laying Lenore down in bed in the house below the Opera Populaire.
"Well, wasn't that a disappointing chapter? To think I could've watched kitten have sex with a spider demon. If only Raghnall hadn't knocked me unconscious..." Hiroshi sighed. Giving a cry of pain, he slumped over at the desk and Tammy pushed him out of the chair, taking back control of the keyboard.
"Ha! Take that! I'm not the Queen of the Sporks for nothing," Tammy proclaimed. "I do so love my shocky spork. It does such a splendid job of electrocuting people."
"Oh, look at him twitch," Raghnall remarked, scribbling down notes on the effects of shocky sporks and speculating all possible uses of such a weapon.
"How did you get loose, woman?" Erik inquired curiously.
"Oh, I believe it was Artzee who let me loose," Tammy replied. "She has earned herself a small contingency of assassin squirrels to keep her safe."
"Erik, can we please leave the review reminder?" Lenore asked, anxious to get back into the somewhat safer and more sane story.
"You know, I've got that extra bed I'm not using," Tammy said conversationally. "Stay awhile, have a bit of fun. I'll take Jack and Raghnall out to the student union for smoothies, we'll give you a few hours alone..."
"I wonder if Hiroshi's capable of drinking a smoothie. Perhaps it wouldn't go well with the after effects of the shocky spork," Raghnall mused.
"So, if you readers would be so kind as to review (and remember, we accept anonymous reviews), I'll take the two boys out for smoothies while Erik and Lenore have pre-wedding sex," Tammy said, putting on shoes and locating her jacket.