"You are a lovely woman. Fascinating. A brilliant risk taker. Knowing you better would be a gift. Sincerely."
He'd said that to her when she tripped into bluntly asking him how he felt about her. That was before the showdown with Akksul, before they faced off against the Archon, and before she had died a second time.
They had both proven themselves to be risk-takers. For her part, she didn't think her leaps of faith were quite as "brilliant" as his, except when they were literally throwing sparks, as they did when she tried once more to let the electromagnetic field he was projecting flow through her.
With a quick snarling grunt, he backed away, spreading his hands across the workshop table in the engineering lab. "No, you're trying to force it. You need calm," the final soft vowel rolling off his tongue with that little echo that her translator always seemed to throw into his voice.
"Calm, okay," She grimaced until it became a smile and put her hands out again, hovering the fingertips of her hands ever-so-close to each other..
But instead of instructing her again, he placed his hands over hers, and peered at her intently. "Why are you so adamant about this?"
She searched his inscrutable expression for a hint of what his words always portrayed. Where was that tenderness he had revealed in his childhood dwelling? Where was the endearing gaze she'd caught when he thought she was still looking up at the stars? With a lip she didn't realize was trembling, she stammered, "You said you wanted to us to be together ."
He laughed, rubbing a thumb from her aching knuckles down to her wrist. "I did not mean this very instant ." With a firm touch he drew his hands up to inspect them, and looked noticeably pained by the branching dark red blisters that traveled along her arms like roots.
He turned his gaze back up to hers, and his eyes widened slightly. "What HAVE you been getting up to, my dearest?"
"I've been trying to make electricity," She winced as he tested the burns with a faint prod of his fingertips.
"Make?" He parroted. "You are already making electricity. Why would you need to make more ?"
"I wanted to… I don't know?" She floundered, shrinking under his scrutiny. "You said your people produce electricity, and you can interact with it, and it's strong enough to hurt people, and I assumed-"
He broke into laughter taking on a chastising tone as he continued to massage her knuckles, "You thought we shocked each other for fun, perhaps?"
Leaning away from his grip, she continued, "I.. um.. Yeah that was dumb, wasn't it? I don't know what I was thinking-"
Sarcastically, she thought, "Humans have been shocking each other for fun since electricity was invented back on earth, and we didn't even HAVE biotic glands or sub-dermal nodes to excuse ourselves then!"
"You were thinking you could surprise me?"
She nodded dumbly, wincing as he pulled her back upright. A few of the lines had broken, the thin skin now oozing clear fluid, displaying bright pink inflamed skin beneath standing stark against the healthier dark skin around the lightning burns.
"My feelings for you are not mere... novelty," He soothed as he nudged her towards the door. "Are yours?"
"No!" She snapped. She meekly allowed him to lead her the short distance down to Lexi's medical lab. Descending the ladders were the worst part. Each time she gripped a rung the blisters flexed and her nerves screeched.
Lexi gawked at her arms the moment the doors parted, and glared accusingly to Jaal.
"Wasn't him," Leanna sighed. "All me."
SAM interrupted Lexi's beratement to explain: "The Pathfinder was attempting to create bio-electricity to-"
Leanna cringed, "NOT helping, SAM."
"I'll leave you in the doctor's capable hands," Jaal chuckled.
"Run while you can!" Leanna joked, right before Lexi unceremoniously splashed the really burny variety of disinfectant over her arms.
[A week later, cruising over the wastes of Elaaden]
The nomad was running scalding hot, hitting the dunes at almost 150 KPM as it launched over another high dune. The mission was going swimmingly. That is to say, the heat converter in the Nomad had cracked when they slipped off a cliff while trying to outrun a herd of Echidnas. Then they had been shot at by two dozen gattling lasers after turning the wrong way down a canyon they could definitely mark as Exile scavengers now.
"Least the hull plating's intact?" Peebee ventured cautiously, thumping a fist against the exterior wall as they bumped over the rise of another sand dune. It replied with an unsettling whine of high-tension metal that left everyone cowed for a moment.
"We should have stopped to say hello . I wouldn't mind stretching my legs… and their necks."
"No stretching!" Leanna shouted over the incessant environmental noise. We're leaking fuel or something- my gauges are dropping FAST!"
"Are we going to have time to stop by that remnant site I got a reading on-"
"NOPE," Ryder quipped.
"What about that site that Vorn wanted us to grab some samples or something-" Drack snorted.
"Double Nope."
"I have a bad feeling about-" Jaal began, cut off by a blaring staccato beeping that drowned out everything in the cabin.
[Five days earlier, on the Tempest]
The bandages itched. Whatever antibiotic Lexi had sprayed on her felt like it was gluing her arm hairs to the nylon wrapping and each time a swinging arm struck her hip it was like ripping off a band-aid again. Compounded with the lecture that Lexi had belted out a top speed without pausing for breath, and now every square inch of Leanna was on high alert.
Jaal was already waiting at the edge of the Crew cabin near her quarters as she tried to slink back to solitude. "I should apologize," he began, wringing his hands around a translucent tube. "I should have explained sooner-"
With a wave of her hand and a cringe, she interrupted, "It was my decision. Even if it was a bloody stupid decision."
"Well," he cleared his throat, "I have something for you. A salve. I made it myself. I checked the ingredients with your doctor's files, and SAM."
SAM chimed in explain in sachrin tones, "98% OF THE CONTENTS ARE INERT PROTEINS AND FATTY ACIDS. ALL ARE INERT MOLECULES DUPLICATED ACROSS THE MILKY WAY AND HELEUS CLUSTERS. THE REMAINING 2% ARE ALOE AND CROSS-CHECKED PLANT EXTRACTS-"
Jaal cut him off with an indignant huff, and handed her a vial as small as her pinky finger. "And this. This is simply a present. An extract I thought might… blend well with your chemistry. In Angaran is roughly means… ' Caged starlight'. "
"Thank you," She smiled, scratched the edge of a bandage idly, and then immediately regretted it.
[Back on Elaaden]
"I am really regretting your 'short cut', Peebee!" Leanna growled between teeth as she tried to find the source of the blaring warning.
"Oh, yeah, blame me, it's okay! We Asari are used to envy, sugar!"
"This argument is not helping!" Jaal snarled, now looking over the multitude of dash lights with her. He found the culprit before she did, and pressed the engine fire suppression button, immediately stalling the cabin air flow and dimming the lights as the nomad coasted downwards.
They peered around in the red glow, before the systems all hummed back on just before they lurched into a rock. Jaal fell against the passenger side dash and then they both ricocheted towards the steering column. Peebee had no more than a seatbelt burn and Drack cussed aloud as he removed himself from where his armor had wedged into the interior roll cage.
The sudden stop had jolted them, but after she and Jaal were back upright, neither seemed bruised past their egos. Leanna immediately started to look at the panel readouts, and frowned.
"Since we're stopped," Peebee mused, "Can we talk about the smell in here? I'm not feeling any air, and I'm sure that real soon it won't be pleasant to be next to the Krogran-"
Drack laughed loud and sharp and sneered back at Peebee, "Krogan don't sweat, blueberry. If it doesn't smell like a dead Karkan it ain't me. "
Ryder tugged at the neckband of her armor, but the molded foam was unyielding. The exterior plates were a mass of peltier tiles but they would only help so long as she had enough life support power to keep them pushing cool air out. Already sweat was beading up on her face. She snapped open her wrist-guard and withdrew Jaal's vial, tipping it to her neck to dab each side.
She continued to stare at the readouts and try to think of some way to adjust for the bad news she was seeing on every sensor, but-
Peebee continued to speculate, "Well Jaal is literally a basket of roses, and I showered just this morning-"
"It's me, okay?!" Leanna snarled back. "It's hot, I'm gross, and I'm sweating like a pile of pigs. I grew up in an air conditioned tin can spinning around in space, okay?! I don't. DO. HEAT."
Peebee just blinked in astonishment as the Pathfinder turned back to the gauges.
[Three days earlier, on the Tempest]
With his hands facing palm-up, she hovered hers palms down towards his. Her hands were dwarfed by his, and seemed even darker next to the brilliant blue on his skin. It was funny to see that his species had lighter pigment to the inside of their hands, the same way humans did.
"Now, simply try to feel the current. You must remember you have to let the energy flow . It is not a strike like a weapon. It is… like a river," he instructed.
Leanna closed her eyes, tried to sense something. Behind her eyelids she was immediately thinking again of the day that Liam and Jaal had been practicing 'diplomacy' to learn what subjects were taboo. Something was starting to happen; a sensation like sparkling wine was inching up her arms, impeded by odd bouts of heat and little prickles of pain.
With a giggle of excitement, she wriggled her hands a little, and an arc of light snapped from her hand to Jaal's. She yelped and pulled back, sticking her fingers into her mouth.
Jaal sighed with exasperation, "We can stop, for now, you don't have to-"
He was stopped by the rattle of her slamming her fists into the workbench. "No!" Leanna growled, "I want to try again! If I can take down the Archon's flagship, this should be a piece of CAKE-!" She sniffed as her nose plugged up. Angry tears were already welling in her eyes as she dragged her nails against the fabricated tabletop with a crackle.
Jaal withdrew his hands from the table with a pained longing in his eyes. "Yes… and I had to watch you die to do it."
"I," Leanna tried to start, but was stopped by the phlegm running back down her throat, and the hot blur of tears running down the sides of her nose. "I know… but I just… I just want to be able to make you feel good ."
"You don't-"
"I want to," She sniffed. "I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel, just.. Like this-" She swung around the edge of the table and stood close to him, clasping his hand into hers.
"Did you get something in your eyes?" He asked distractedly. This close she could hear his heartbeat, growing faster like hers.
"I, no-" She rubbed her face distractedly. "I'm just crying… don't Angara cry?"
He looked down at her with a confused blink. She realized the futility of asking if he knew a word he didn't know. For a moment she was back at the Kett station on Voeld, shaking warily as Jaal growled with a rage she'd never seen him display before or since. As they learned of exaltation he had bellowed from the deep guttural pain of an animal to the roaring anger of a feral beast.
But no tears, even as he sounded close to weeping. She couldn't help it. The tears came faster as she thought about that terrible day. The look he'd given her as she ordered the compound destroyed was so cold. It surprised her every day afterwards that she didn't wake up with his knife at her throat, considering the promise he'd given her when they first met.
"You don't, I guess," She sniffled, her face drawn close to his hand as guilt drew her into herself. The salt dribbled into the edges of her mouth as she grimaced in distaste. It was funny how serene and calm women in vids always looked. Real tears made you ugly. Sorrow crushed you up like a used wrapper.
"Hmmm," He contemplated softly, "It is strange," He wiped at the edge her eye with one hand, felt the tear between his fingers, before dabbing it to his lips. Suddenly all she could think about was Suvi explaining the lick test that sent her running to Lexi's office.
"Alkaline and acid," He mused. As she had gotten over her small breakdown, she finally realized she had her head against his chest, hypnotized by the sound of his heartbeat. It was the nearest she had gotten to him since she had met his family. The Angara were so free with their feelings and desires. Maybe she should have just said, "Can I have a hug?" Instead.
"What are you thinking?" She whispered.
"Here," He nudged her away from him, just far enough to get his arms around her, fingertips lightly touching her shoulder-blades. "You are upset. You are trying too hard. Don't think about this. Don't try to respond. Just let go."
She nodded, wondering if she should tell him how she liked her shoulder massages, when her neck went stiff. She could feel the current tensing up all the muscles of her upper back, throwing her head back just before they loosened again. If his hands weren't already there, she might have fallen backwards from the speed that her body went slack. All her weight limped into his grip, and he turned them both to lean down into his work chair. Slowly, he extricated his hands from her shoulders. As he passed the edge of her tank top and brushed past her armpit, she let out a lusty gasp, as the relaxing energy expanded across her chest, flowing through her in cascading ripples like rain over dry ground.
Even zero gravity hadn't made her feel this at peace. She couldn't see what expression his was making, aside from hearing a satisfied hum from his lips as he continued down the underside of her arms. Consciousness faded away somewhere between her triceps and her fingers, because she awoke to find herself back in her quarters, propped up on her couch with a blanket tucked around her.
A new email blinked insistently from the screen on the opposite wall. When she brought it up on her omni-tool, it read:
If I can give you peace, then I am full of joy. If I can see your face full of joy like that again, then I would be truly happy. I desire to see your desires fufilled. There is time to continuing practicing.
For now, my Dearest, please rest.
-Jaal
[Back on Elaaden]
The fuel leakage was stabilized, sort of. They had wrapped some self-healing tape around the cracked line and released some of the steam and pressure that had built up from a rock getting into the wrong valve at the wrong time. It was difficult to admit to everyone that they had lost too much and released too much pressure, and now there wasn't enough to actually get them back to the Tempest, or even the nearest forward station.
She had settled on barrelling towards the best crossroads of their destinations, and explaining the situation when it became impossible to stall longer.
"So, Peebee," Jaal said absently, "I'm still confused about these 'non-specific erogenous zones.'"
"Yikes," Was all Peebee could respond. She could feel the Asari's eyes bouncing between them.
She heard a Drack snorted a chuckle as she launched a glare back into the passenger block. It only took a moment away from the control board, mind drifting to their week of small experiments, for the nomad to veer off into trouble. The whole nomad shook as they impacted something softer but more adamant than a rock.
A howling screech echoed from beneath them as the whole vehicle drifted right, then left, and then lurched almost 90 degrees horizontally on three wheels before swerving and settling to a halt.
A few moments later they all burst from the cabin, noxious smoke rolling out after them as they scrambled to fresher air. They all caught their breath from coughing out electrical smoke, and set about inspecting the giant ugly lizard that was now roadkill beneath the Nomad.
"Now what, fearless leader?" Peebee grimaced.
"Okay," She squinted up to the sky, flicking her eyes right to bring up SAM's interactive displays. "We're not as far as I would have liked, but it'll do. Drack, Peebee, head to this nav-point to establish the next forward station. Tell Kallo to send down Gil. We'll need the Nomad fixed up to pick it up in a fly by.
"And what will you two be doing?" Drack smirked a little too knowingly for Leanna's taste.
She grimaced, and threw a strap over her shoulder with a satchel of electronics rattling back and forth. "Jaal and I will head to the FTL comm station. Right now we're too far out for anything else to do good until we get planet-scale communication established."
They all looked down as her omnitool bleated petulantly. "And I only have about an hour of life support in this heat." She wiped a layer of sweat from her brow before she affixed her helmet in place. She continued through their linked comms, "Which is a hell of a lot longer than we would have lasted two months ago before the vault was reset."
"A forward station?" Peebee eyed her sadly. "Really?"
"Well, it's not like shoving a few encryption drives into an FTL comm tower is a challenge for YOUR skills," Leanna shrugged.
Peebee preened a little, and tossed her head back. "True, I guess we can't sit here staring at a dead Nomad… err… leaking... things."
Leanna sighed. "If only Liam was here. He could probably fix it in the field…"
She taps a few things on her omnitool, and looked to the sky.
"We'll still need some repairs before the Nomad can return to the Tempest. Make sure Gil gets here okay."
Peebee squinted as she put her hands to her hips, "Why not send Liam then? He's more field qualified anyhow-?"
"It's… personal."
"Really-"
"We're heading to the tower now," Leanna snapped. She collapsed her rifle into the embedded holster of her suit and holstered her sidewinder before turning away. "Remain in radio contact."