sorry for taking so long, but i have decided to post the rest of the story, so here it is, i hope you enjoy, and reveiw, if not, so what
The next morning found Lorraine in the kitchen, sitting at the table sipping a warm cup of coffee, She hardly got any sleep again last night, not just because of the ghost, but because of the man who slept in the spare bedroom that sat between her and Mary's, Lorraine and Joanne had stayed up talking, awaiting Sam and Dales return, Dean had disappeared to the spare room, as soon as the ghost had gone, neither of the girls had seen him again that night
"So what happens now," Joanne had asked, as she poured Jim Beam and coke into two large glasses, Lorraine knew she was talking about what she had said upstairs earlier
"I don't know,"
"Well," Joanne sat down across from her sister, sliding one of the glasses in front of her, "what do you want to happen,"
"I don't know," Lorraine gave a small laugh, "I suppose if things where normal, I would want Dean to tell me he loves me and wants to be with me and we'll live happily ever after, but-"
"Things aren't normal" they finished in unison, adding a little giggle "you've been reading 'mills and boons' again haven't you" Joanne added, Lorraine laughed and shook her head, unbeknown to the girls, Dean stood on the other side of the doorway, he had come downstairs to try and talk rationally with Lorraine, to try and tell her how he really felt about her, and had stopped when he had heard them talking about him,
"I can't believe I said half the things I did tonight,"
"You were pretty out of control; I wanted to slap you," she placed the lid back on the bottle
"I think you should have," they laughed
"Do you think he does," Joanne asked
"What, want to slap me" Lorraine replied, taking a big a sip of her drink, she was on her fifth glass, and could feel it going to her head, "probably"
"You know, love you," Lorraine took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, tracing the rim of the glass with her finger as she thought about the question,
"No, I don't," she shook her head, Dean frowned, he thought that what Joanne had said upstairs had made it pretty clear "I think what we had was mostly built on adrenalin and loneliness, and I guess I didn't help by jeopardizing every other woman he could have been with,"
"I would of loved to have seen her face when you told her he was gay," they both laughed, and Dean couldn't help but quietly join in, he remembered it was just after Lorraine and his first night together, it was a bitter sweet moment for Dean as it was also the time that he had to kill the first girl he ever cared about, well the monster she had become anyway, the girls laughter faded and both of them turned serious again, well as serious as two girls who had nearly polished off a bottle of alcohol by themselves could be
"do you love him," Joanne asked, Lorraine nodded her head, he answer choked by the tears already running down her face, when Dean couldn't hear a reply, he slowly stuck his head around the corner, he wanted to take her in his arms, He wanted to be able to at least tell her that's what he wanted to do, but Lorraine was right, living his life so long, he had learnt to not get emotionally involved, now, it was second nature to him,
"Now look what you made me do," Lorraine laughed uneasily as she wiped the tears from her face,
"What about Dale," Joanne smiled mischievously, "he's pretty cute, and I think he's got a thing for you,"
"Please, he's a bit young" Lorraine laughed
"Oh, yes, three years younger, you cradle snatcher," Joanne replied sarcastically,
"Poor kids got enough problems of his own, without adding mine," Lorraine replied, looking at the bottom of the glass wondering why it was empty,
"Uh, ha, so you have thought about it," Joanne teased
"No," Lorraine defended, but the redness of her cheeks, and the smile on her face gave her away, "I'm not blind Joanne, I know he's cute, but still no,"
"Oh, come on, he could be your toy boy," Joanne laughed loudly,
"I think my glass has a leak in it," Lorraine said holding up the glass looking at the bottom of it, in a futile attempt to change the subject,
"Well if Deans not going to step up to the plate, at least you have a spare," Joanne voice raised with each word, Dean was trying to think off a way he could shut Joanne up,
"Shhh, your gonna wake the whole neighborhood," Lorraine said putting a figure to her lips, There was a knock on the door, that made them all jump, "see I told ya,"
"It's us," Sam voice came through the door, Joanne ran stumblingly to the door, she had had just as much to drink as Lorraine had, she pulled the door open and wrapped her arms around Sam's neck, he smiled as he hugged her back,
"Looks like someone is celebrating," Sam laughed
"Would you like a drink," Lorraine asked holding up the bottle, giving it little shake
"Cheers," they replied together, "where's Dean," Sam continued
"Asleep in the spare room," Lorraine told them; Joanne played bar tender as she filled up the glasses, and then passed them out
"We think, he sort of disappeared," Joanne laughed drunkenly, Sam wasn't sure how to take what Joanne had said, he was about to go upstairs and check on him, when he saw his brothers reflection in the mirror, that sat in the hallway, make his way back up the stairs, from where he was sitting he knew that he was the only one that could see him,
"So how did you go," Lorraine asked Dale
"Good," he replied, "I'm glad that it's finally over,"
"So what are you going to do now," Joanne asked
"I think I'll go home," Dale took a drink, and the whole table feel silent as if Dale had just told them a fatal secret
An hour later the empty bottle of Beam sat in the middle of the table a second bottle half filled next to it, the laughter that echoed round the table was so loud Lorraine was amazed that Mary, or Dean hadn't woken up,
"well I think I'm gonna go to bed, I have work tomorrow night," Lorraine stood and drowned down the last of her drink, "or is it tonight," she slurred then stumbled out the kitchen and attempted to climb the stairs, stopping at the top, she looked from her door to the spare room door, she was tempted to go to Dean, but then decided against it, "let's try door number three," she giggled to herself as she walked straight pass the room and checked on Mary, still sleeping soundlessly in her cot, then walking back to her room, she stopped at the spare room door, her hand raised ready to knock, she heard Sam and Joanne make their way up the stairs so she bolted back to her room she was too drunk to change in to her pajamas, so instead she just took of her shirt and climbed into bed, and spent most of the night tossing and turning looking at the sliding door that lead to the balcony, as if it was taunting her, she could have easily slipped out, jumped the rail, and snuck into the spare room and no one would have known, exhaustion must have stepped in because the one minute she was about to take the plunge and the next thing she knew it was morning, and her sensibility had returned,
Now she sat in the kitchen, nursing a slight hangover, that reminded her why she didn't drink much anymore, although she was sure she couldn't blame the dull thudding in her head solely on the amount of alcohol she had last night, Dale came in first, in her drunken state she had forgotten about Dale sleeping on the lounge,
"Morning," Lorraine said as she got up from the table, "coffee?" she asked
"Thanks" he replied, still trying to rub the sleep from his eyes,
"Did I get you a blanket and pillow last night?"
"No," he laughed, "but Joanne did,"
"I'm so sorry," she apologized
"Don't worry about it,"
"So how did you sleep," She asked as she sat back down at the table
"Best night I had in years," He said accepting the cup that was offered to him,
"That's good to hear, especially seeing as though it not the most comfortable lounge in the world" Lorraine replied
"So, what's the story with you and Dean," Dale asked
"It's a long one," Lorraine smiled
"Sam filled me in on most of it last night," Lorraine made a mental note to admonish Sam later,
"Oh, yeah, and what did he have to say," a curious smile played on her lips,
"That Dean is Mary's father,"
"Yes" she nodded, "he is,"
"And that he only just found out,"
"Right again," her smile slowly faded, "what else did have to say"
"That you both need to cut the shit, and work out your feelings" Lorraine laughed at that "So how did you meet," Dale asked
"Uh, I was attacked by a vampire," Dale's eyes went wide, "yeah, their real too, Dean and Sam showed up at the right time, it just so happened that I was actually having these, sort of vision dreams of Dean for a few weeks before," He looked at her as if she had just grown a second head,
"Vision dreams?" he asked skeptically
"Yeah,"
"Do you still have them?"
"Yeah, although since I had Mary I don't have them as often,"
"You know this is all pretty bizarre," Dale said, Lorraine laughed again
"I use to say the same thing," She answered his questioning look, they were still laughing when Dean walked in,
"morning," Lorraine said, he grunted some sort of reply then helped himself to the coffee, having to re-boil the kettle, he stood at the kitchen bench glaring at Dale and Lorraine, it made Lorraine feel a little uneasy, "sleep alright," she asked
"Yeah, thanks," he replied dryly, "so when are you leaving,"
"Dean, that's a bit rude," Lorraine gasped
"Just making conversation," he replied casually
"Uh, he's right I really should get going," Dale stood up
"Don't let him scare you off," Lorraine glared at Dean
"No really, I haven't seen my brother and dad for years; it'll be good to catch up with them,"
"I'll walk you out," they both left the kitchen, and walked outside, Lorraine rubbed her arms trying to get some warmth in them, "now you call me if you need to," Lorraine said as she handed him a piece of paper with her number on it
"Thanks, and take care of yourself," he replied
"You too, ok, and no more chasing ghosts, unless you know what you're up against"
"That's for sure" they laughed, Dale turned serious "and don't let Dean get you down, he's a fool if he walks away from you" he added
"I can look after myself," she replied
"Yeah I know that," he smiled rubbing the place where she had shot him two nights ago, Lorraine smiled apologetically, as he got into his car and took off, Lorraine went back inside, she stomped into the kitchen
"Nice one Dean," Lorraine snapped
"What," he replied in equal tone, he hadn't had much sleep last night either, even after he had headed back up to his room, he could hear their laughter, he thought about joining them, but after hearing the conversation between Joanne and Lorraine, thought against it, sometime during the night after the house had gone quiet and everyone was in bed, he had snuck into Mary's room, the salt still on the floor he had smiled as he stepped over it, he sat in the chair and watched Mary as she slept, every now and then she would make a little whimper, and Dean would smile with a fatherly pride, he still couldn't believe he had helped create something so beautiful, or understand why he could have such strong feelings for this little girl, but it was at that moment that he understood why his dad had done what he had, why he had made a deal with the yellow eyed demon, so Dean could live, because Dean knew that, without a doubt, he would die for her,
"You wanna tell me why you're being so rude," Lorraine snapped, pulling him from his thoughts
"You wanna tell me why you're being so nice," He retaliated
"Oh please, you sound like the jealous boyfriend," she replied, grabbing the coffee cups off the table
"What if I am," this caught Lorraine by surprise, she nearly dropped the cups
"What,"
"Nothing," he mumbled
"God, Dean, stop doing this to me," Lorraine pleaded as she threw the cups into the sink; one of them broke and she ran out of the room, she still didn't know what was going to happen now that he knew about Mary, and Lorraine wished that he had never found out, her life was a lot simpler than it was now.
ڳ
Dean stood in the kitchen watching the same place that Lorraine had just left, he hated seeing Lorraine upset, and worst he hated being the one who upset her, he couldn't show her the feelings that he wanted to, he couldn't remember how, he stirred his coffee then threw the spoon in to the sink with a little too much force, it hit the cup and bounced out and clattered to the floor, he took a deep breath trying to calm himself, he needed to get some fresh air, he walked out the back door and sat down on one of the chairs, it was still extremely cold, and he rubbed his arms in an attempt to warm up, he heard Mary's wails from where he was sitting, and once again that feeling of protectiveness washed over him, he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to walk away from the little girl, his little girl, Dean kick the one of the chairs in frustration and it landed in the middle of the small back yard
"Hey man," Sam walked out a cup of coffee in one hand, Deans leather jacket in the other, Dean took the jacket
"Thanks," he said as he pulled it on,
"You ok,"
"Yeah," he smiled, trying to mask who he was really feeling
"Yeah?" Sam's eyebrows arched doubtfully "cause that chair would probably say different,"
"You know we've been doing this a pretty long time, and things have been pretty quiet since we killed yellow eyes,"
"Yeah," Sam said intriguingly
"Maybe we could, you know," Sam smiled at his brother's discomfort "stick around for a while," Sam laughed quietly
"Yeah," Sam nodded "I suppose we probably could," Dean nodded to himself then got up, and rescued the chair, placing it back at the table with the others.
ڳ
Lorraine stood in front of the mirror, brushing her hair, she secured the pony tail at the base of her neck, it was Saturday, and that meant her and 'her' boys would get together for a few hours rehearsal and to choose the songs for the night's performance, Usually because of Mary it took place in Lorraine's lounge room and she was feeling a little nervous that Sam and Dean were still here, she thought that they would have left by now, been back on the road, moving on to their next mission, but they hadn't so she had begged Joanne to find a way to get them out of the house for awhile, but each attempt became futile, there was a knock on her bedroom door, and her and Mary looked towards it as Dean walked in, Mary uninterested went back to her toys,
"Everything all right," Lorraine asked at the look on his face,
"Yeah," he replied, even though Lorraine could tell that something was bothering him,
"Can we talk," he said
"I don't know, can we?" Lorraine replied with a smile, Dean sat down on the bed, grabbing one of Mary's discarded rattles, he fiddled with it while Lorraine waited for him to start talking "was there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about, or did you want to discuss the weather,"
"just give me a minute ok," Dean snapped, Lorraine frowned but sat on the other side of the bed patiently, she was a little worried as to what he was about to say, thinking this was it, he was going to tell her he was leaving, "ah, don't worry about it," he dropped the rattle back onto the bed as he stood up, even after last night he still couldn't bring himself to reveal his feelings,
"Whoa, hey, wait, Dean," Lorraine got up and went over to him, he turned back to her and she placed her hands on his upper arms, "what's going on," she looked at him, trying to read his face for any signs, he tried again, but still nothing came out, why was it so frigging hard, he wondered to himself, he liked her a lot not too sure if he could use the word love, but thought it came pretty damn close,
"don't worry about it," he shrugged her off, turned and walked out the door, Lorraine stared after him, not sure what to do, She looked at Mary who was still preoccupied, she let out a sigh as she laid down on the bed next to her,
"What are we going to do about him, Mary," the little girl looked at her mother, and handed her a plastic hammer, "I like you're thinking, girlie," Lorraine laughed, Mary joined in even though she didn't understand the joke.
ڳ
"The boys are here," Joanne called out to Lorraine who had been hiding out upstairs, trying to work out what had happened, if he was going to leave why didn't he just do it,
"What boys," Dean asked Joanne,
"THE boys," Joanne laughed as she opened the front door, "come in," she welcomed Nate, James and Grahame,
"Hi, guys," Lorraine greeted them as she came into the room, she passed Mary to Joanne,
"We'll leave you to it," Joanne said as she walked out at the same time Dean walked in
"Hey, hey," Grahame's voice boomed "if it isn't the reporters" Lorraine looked at him suspiciously "so it looks like you found your Madonna after all," he laughed
"Can we just get on with this please," Lorraine said noticing Dean's humorous smile, she glared at him in a dismissing way, and he left the room laughing
"So that's Dean, hey," Nate asked, she knew that Mat would have told him about Dean,
"What, you mean 'the' Dean," Grahame asked eagerly
"Can people stop calling him that, it's not that big a deal," Lorraine snapped, "can we just get on with this"
"Oh, come on, Lorraine, tell us what happened," James asked, his eyes blood shot Lorraine knew that he had already had his 'morning greens' as he called them,
"Come on, guys, there's nothing to tell," Lorraine replied, pulling her guitar out of its case and checking that it was tuned, the men looked at her skeptically, but let it go for now, as they prepared there instruments, except for Grahame, his drum set was already set up at the pub, ready for tonight, so instead he would play his 'air drums', which made it hard to practice with his over enthusiastic playing would have the others close to rolling on the floor with laughter, 2 hours later song rehearsed and chosen, the men had left, and Lorraine relaxed on the lounge, she knew tonight she would be pelted with more questions,
"So I'm quite notorious around here," Dean laughed, as he came back into the room, as Lorraine shut the front door
"Don't flatter yourself," she knew this was coming, and she knew what was coming next
"So you're Madonna," Lorraine rolled her eyes expectantly
"No, I'm Lorraine," she replied curtly, "look it's just a part time job, we can't all survive on credit card scams,"
"So anymore secrets you're keeping from me," Dean asked
"Not that I want to share with you," Lorraine replied sharply,
"So you performing tonight," Dean asked a smile playing on his lips, Lorraine knew where this was heading too,
"Ha ha, Yes, and no you're not invited," she sighed "look this is, believe it or not, quiet embarrassing for me,"
"You are good," he told her, Lorraine felt her cheeks warm,
"That doesn't matter, you're still not coming," she replied with a sly smile
"And are you gonna stop me," that cheeky smile
"Just try me," She said, wanting to slap that smile off his face, Dean laughed as she left the room.