Chapter five: Doubt

"You have them?" Fred asked. George and Ithaca held up bags of a new prank they'd been working on. "Excellent!"

They set them up along a corridor and slid into an alcove with Ithaca sandwiched between the twins. George gave the line to Ithaca and Fred signaled for her to pull as they heard Filch's uneven footsteps nearing closer. She tugged hard and there was a wave of explosions as different animals erupted from the fireworks and chased the grumpy caretaker, spitting sparks and confetti.

"Weasleys! Black!"

"Run!" Fred yelled. George grabbed Ithaca and pulled her behind him, the three of them cackling down the hall with Filch chasing after them, and the troublesome animals behind him. Powder ran ahead, leading them away from where they could be caught. Fred caught up with him and picked him up, ushering George and Ithaca into a secret passageway.

As time went by, Ithaca, Harry, Neville, Ron, and Hermione became closer. Lately Harry was all about his Quidditch practice. Ithaca was swept into the mayhem that was the Weasley twins, making the entire school laugh one prank at a time. She wrote Moony twice every week to tell him about the mischief they had gotten into and he gave her advice on how to get out of it, or how to balance the activated charcoal where it didn't go off until you were ready for it to.

One day, Ithaca had just gotten back from hiding catnip around Aunt Minnie's office, when Harry was complaining about his book that Snape had taken away. She offered to go get it for him. It was almost curfew when she went down to the staffroom. There was no answer when she knocked and she opened it, a gasp coming out of her mouth at the sight. Filch and Snape were alone, with Snape's robes above his knee. His leg was bloody and mangled and Filch tried to bandage it.

"Blasted thing," Snape was saying. "How are you supposed to keep your eyes on all three heads at once?"

Ithaca didn't know why she pushed the door open and walked into the middle of the room. "Are you okay, sir?"

"Black?!" Both men echoed.

"Get out!" Snape shouted.

Ithaca took another step. "I just came for Harry's book, sir. Can I help?"

"GET OUT!"

She grabbed the bandage and Muggle first aid out of Filch's hands and poured the alcohol onto the leg, watching the liquid chase away the traces of blood. Then she knelt down and pulled the gauze around it and secured it, looking back up at the Potions Master. "You should probably go see Madame Pomfrey, but I suppose under the circumstances I understand why you aren't."

"What do you want, Black?"

"I only came to ask about Harry's book, sir. I knocked, but didn't hear anything. I'm sorry I just barged in."

Snape reached behind him on his desk and thrust it toward her. "Take it and leave. I wouldn't dare mention this to any of your idiot friends, either."

"Yes, sir." She stopped at the door. "Sir?"

"What?!" He asked exasperatedly.

"What is your wand made of?"

"Fir," he said quietly- not looking at her, but his leg. "Fir and unicorn hair."

*

"Moony says good luck and not to worry about eating if you can't stomach anything; your father never liked to eat before a game."

Harry liked Moony, liked the throwaway information he often included about Harry's parents. He encouraged Harry to ask as many questions as he wanted about them. Neither noticed the looks Fred and George gave each other.

Ithaca, Neville, Ron, and Hermione piled together in the Gryffindor stands and waited for the game to start. Her favorite part, she decided, was the commentary. She doubted it was like this every time, but Lee Jordan was very amusing. She watched the game, growing incredibly bored, when Harry's broom dipped. She stood up to get a better look.

"Hagrid- "

"I see it," Hagrid mumbled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's lost control of his broom."

Hermione grabbed the binoculars from him and looked through the crowds until she found whatever it was she was looking for, leaning over to show Ron and Ithaca.

"I knew it, it's Snape. He's jinxing the broom."

"What? No, he couldn't be." Ron showed her where Professor Snape sat in the teacher's box, muttering under his breath with his wand.

Ithaca took the binoculars and scanned the crowd as well, catching something Hermione didn't. "Wait! Quirrell's doing something as well." She looked up. "Where's Hermione?"

"She went to stop Snape."

"No! I think he might be helping."

Ron looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you barmy? He hates Harry."

"But, his wand means- "

"Ollivander is just some old coot. Snape is trying to hurt Harry."

"No," Ithaca said, giving the binoculars back, "he isn't."

Then she followed after Hermione to stop her. Harry's broom began acting normal and she saw Quirrell looking flustered and disappointed.

"I've caught the Snitch," she heard Harry shout before Ron and Hermione scooped him up and took him to Hagrid's hut. Professor Snape stormed his way to the dungeons, watching the DADA professor out of the corner of his eye, and Ithaca rejoined her friends.

"Rubbish," she heard Hagrid saying as she came in. "Why would Snape do something like that?"

"He didn't." Ithaca said.

"Course he didn't," Hagrid agreed.

Hermione turned to Ithaca. "You were there. We saw him."

"You saw him muttering with his wand. Didn't you notice Quirrell doing the same thing?"

Ron snorted. "Quirrell? The st-st-stuttering p-professor afraid of his own shadow?"

Ithaca frowned at him. "You should never underestimate anyone. Can you imagine a better cover than for someone to feign a stutter? Who would suspect?"

"Why don't you think it's Snape? He hates us."

"Because wands don't lie."

"His wand?" Ron asked. "You're still going on about that wand book?"

"Wand book?" Hagrid asked. "What wand book?"

Hermione explained. "Mr. Ollivander sent her a book for her birthday about what wands mean about the person."

"Never known him to do anything like that."

"What was your wand?" Ithaca asked.

His cheeks turned pink. "Laurel and unicorn hair."

"It is said that a laurel wand cannot perform a dishonorable act."

Ron grumbled. "That's just Hagrid. It could be a coincidence."

Ithaca crossed her arms. "What would it take for you to accept the possibility you're all wrong?"

"We don't even know Snape's wand," Harry added, ignoring her frustrated question.

"Fir and unicorn hair," she said without missing a beat. "I asked him. Fir favors owners of focused, strong-minded and, occasionally, intimidating demeanor. And wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. Hagrid told us it would take Dark magic to have jinxed the broom. Might I also add Minnie's is the same."

"But that still doesn't prove- "

"Stop it!" No one said anything. "I have proven it can have relevance with Snape's, Hagrid's, all of yours. Once is accident, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action."

"How do you explain him trying to get past the three-headed dog?"

"How do you know about Fluffy?" The wandlore argument was forgotten and they turned their attention to Hagrid.

"You know the dog?"

"You have a Cerberus?"

"You named it Fluffy?"

*

Christmas was approaching fast and there were days of epic snow fights and days that Ithaca and the Weasley twins charmed snowballs to follow Quirrell around. She still didn't trust him. She would admit to herself that just because one's wand said something, didn't mean there wasn't a special circumstance or that it was always right, but she just knew it couldn't be Snape. It didn't feel right, but with Quirrell it was creepy. Ithaca had offered for Harry and Ron to come home with her and Neville, but they decided that Harry and Ron would be staying to search up Nicolas Flamel while Ithaca looked at home. They had decided it might be best to leave Neville out of this one. Ithaca was sure there would be something in Moony's study.

The day before they left for holiday, Fred and George pulled Ithaca to the side.

"We couldn't help but overhear several times- "

"That you call your godfather Moony- "

"Yes, any particular reason?"

Ithaca rolled her eyes and smiled sheepishly. "Well his friends used to call him that. So did Harry and I as babies. I guess I never grew out of it."

"His friends called him that?"

"Yeah, the Marauders. It's what Moony, Harry's dad, and my dad called themselves. And one other."

The twins looked at each other and seemed to agree on something before Fred pulled something out of his pocket and showed it to her. She gasped in excitement.

"You found it?"

"You know what that is?"

Ithaca pulled her wand out. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." She watched the ink bleed onto the page and form the letters Moony had only told her about. "Filch took this," she explained. "One month before they graduated Hogwarts. So, this is how you two get around so easily."

"What was it like to be raised by a Marauder?" George asked with bright eyes.

"You two are more than welcome to meet him. He was the practical one of the group. He tried to keep the others out of trouble. In fact, that's how they came up with the idea of the map. My dad wanted to go out and prank the Slytherins and Moony pointed out that he could get caught. Or when James wanted to follow Lily around. It started out as a joke."

Ithaca couldn't wait to tell Moony about the map being found and used in the Marauders name. She told the twins that they even had a special compartment on the train and asked if the twins were going home, but all the Weasley's were staying at Hogwarts since their parents were in Romania visiting Charlie.

"You could ask if either of your parents know about Flamel," Ron said before Hermione and Ithaca left. "That would be safe."

"Very safe," Hermione agreed. "Both my parents are dentists."

Ithaca shook her head. "No. If I ask Moony, he'll get suspicious. Plus, he's really close with both Minnie and Albus. He might know and tell them- but he also might have something useful in his study."

Powder grunted and shook his head at her.

"What?" She asked. "I won't get caught this time. Promise."

*

"Moony!" Ithaca charged at him, throwing her arms around his neck and holding on tight, inhaling his scent with a deep breath. "I missed you so much," she mumbled into his coat.

He chuckled, his chest rumbling. "I missed you too, little love."

"Moony?" Ithaca asked that night curled up with him on the couch, a cooling mug of hot chocolate waiting. "Why did he do it? Sirius?"

"That was the one thing we could never figure out," he said quietly, stroking his ward's hair. He basked in his pack being back home. Pack. "He grew up in a Dark family. They always pressured him, but we thought he had resisted. They blast him off the family portrait for refusing. I can't figure out why he betrayed us. We would have done anything for him."

The last bit was whispered, but Ithaca heard it. "Did you ever ask him?"

"No. I came back from France and almost immediately had you." The thought lingered in his mind like the after taste of a particularly vulgar potion. He had resisted the idea at first that Sirius could have done something like that, but James and Lily would have chosen him as their Secret Keeper. There was no doubt about that. Ithaca fell asleep on his lap the way she used to, hot cocoa long forgotten and the weight killing his arm, but he didn't pay attention. The Sirius he knew would never have done this. He would never have left his daughter. He adored Ithaca and Harry.

*

"Don't you see?" He asked excitedly. "No one would suspect."

"But Dumbledore- "

"Why do we have to tell him? We can let people think it is me and you and Harry will be safe. Just- take care of Ithaca for me. If it really is him."

"We trust you, Padfoot."

Those last words echoed in his mind for ten long years. When he had finally lulled Ithaca to sleep that night, her stomach full, he checked on Peter. The entire flat was thrown upside down, clothes flung here and there, a picture frame broken where someone knocked it over in a hurry. Not a struggle, just a rushed panic. His stomach dropped and he quickly Floo'ed Arabella Figg to stay with Ithaca, not explaining anything. He drove to the Potter's hideout in Godric's Hollow. And it wasn't there. Or rather, it was, just not the way it should be. He remembered his whole frame shaking violently with each step to the kicked in door. Remembered seeing James' still opened eyes, unseeing in his death. He had stopped there, leaning against the wall with dry sobs overflowing, his breathing coming out in hyperventilating pants. Then Lily, sweet, fiery Lily. She was in the nursery, her own green eyes wide. He had picked up Harry and carried him out to where Hagrid had just arrived.

How stupid he had been. How stupid anyone would have to have been, to think that Moony would ever- but at the time no one even suspected it could be poor, pathetic Peter. And then Sirius chased after him. He should have gone home to Ithaca. He should have gone straight to Dumbledore. He should have stayed as the Secret Keeper.

A sound at the cell door caught his attention from his inner conflict and he looked up to see a face he hadn't seen in over a decade aside from dreams and old memories. Remus, his friend that he had done so much wrong by.

"Moony." He croaked, his voice not having been used in so long. The man flinched.

"Don't call me that."

Of course, he would believe the evidence. Sirius couldn't bring himself to blame him. He knew what it looked like. "You got old," he said in spite of himself.

"Ten years will do that to a person."

There was near silence for a moment, only interrupted by the dripping of water from a broken pipe somewhere. "How is Ithaca?"

"Now you think of her?" Remus asked, wondering to himself why he was here. But he had to know why. For Ithaca. "She's perfect."

"Is she- "

"YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW!" Remus yelled before he could stop himself. "You don't get to know about her," he repeated in a soft whisper. "Why? Why would you do that to them? To Peter?"

Sirius growled. "I didn't," he said. "I didn't kill Peter, but I wish I had."

"Do you not even feel anything about betraying your friends?"

"I didn't do it, Moony."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! She asked, you know. She asked about you and I had to tell a nine-year old that her father, my best friend, betrayed everyone. I had to tell her that you were here- and I couldn't answer when she asked why."

"Please," Sirius asked, tears building. "Please, just listen. I-I wasn't the traitor. We switched Secret Keepers. I convinced them to use Peter."

Remus shook his head, not believing it but the words still making him hope. He hated Sirius for that. "James trusted you above all others."

"I know," he whispered. "I knew everyone would think it was me. We thought you might have been the spy, so we told no one and let people think."

Remus wasn't expecting this. He knew he should leave. He knew that. He was expecting to come here and be fed some story about how Sirius had pretended for all those years. How he was never their friend. This was the last thing he thought he would hear. For some reason, Ollivander's words came to mind. That he doubted. Doubt.

"Why should I believe you?" He asked. "Can you give me any reason, that in the face of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I should believe you?"

Sirius sighed and hung his head. "I have nothing. Nothing but a story."

"I'm leaving."

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"Home," Remus said, taking guilty satisfaction at the longing look on the man's face. The man who at one time had been his pack. "Ithaca is home for the holiday."

"Please," Sirius asked desperately. "Please. Just tell me something, anything, everything."

"She's your daughter."

Sirius watched him walk away, listening to his echoing footsteps down the way. Remus apparated to the cottage from outside the prison, his chest tight. He kept hearing his old friend's pleas for him to believe him. He didn't want to listen, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to believe him so bad. He was so tired of being without his pack. Ithaca wasn't in the living room when he came home. Instead, he followed her scent to his study and gathered her in his arms and just hugged her tightly- not even realizing he should be asking why she was there.

"I love you so much, Ithaca."

"I love you too, Moony," she said immediately, not fully understanding his sudden clinginess. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he lied. She, for once, didn't call him on it. "What do you say to chicken casserole?"

He knew it was her favorite. She followed him to the kitchen. Sometimes he had random days where he refused to let her leave his side. She guessed this was one of them.

Sirius leaned his head back against the cell wall, feeling stronger than he had before Remus' visit, and at the same time feeling worse than he could imagine. At least Moony was taking care of Ithaca. At least she was safe.