I stared at Erik, my eyes wide. He had gone mad. I could see it in his eyes. They glittered dangerously with anger.
"Put this on," Erik said, holding out the very lacey white satin dress that was clearly a wedding dress. "And I would not do anything foolish if I were you," he warned.
I reluctantly took the dress, looking down at it in horror. What was he planning?
"I think you will find everything you need," he said, motioning towards the dressing table. There was a gauzy veil draped across the top of the table and a pair of high topped white leather shoes sat on the floor next to the table.
I sobbed. What had I done? I had driven him to this with my foolishness, with my fickle ways!
"Why are you doing this?" I whispered, but he shut the door firmly, ignoring my words.
I stood, frozen, staring at the closed door, my mind spinning. How could I have been so stupid, taking off his mask like that? What had I been thinking?
I had not been thinking, obviously. I had been so drawn to him I had forgotten where I was. All that had mattered was Erik, and showing him how I felt about him. Now he hated me, how could he not? No doubt he thought it was planned all along. No doubt he thought I had been working with the managers and Raoul. Oh, I had made a fine mess of things this time, no doubt of it. He would never believe me now! He would think I was just toying with him again.
My mind crowded with memories as I slid into the wedding gown. I shivered as I recalled his touch, the sensual way he had sung to me.
Then I thought of Signor Piangi and I was thrown right back into confusion. Erik had murdered the man so he could take his place. Tears stung my eyes. Piangi had been a fool, that much was true, but the man had not deserved to be murdered. And, once again, it was all my fault! Twice now Erik had murdered because of me. The man was clearly mad and very dangerous.
But I knew I cared for Erik. No, I knew now that I loved him. I loved the gentle way he had taught me, guided me. I loved his wit, I craved his darkness. But he was a murderer. How could I live with that, knowing that Buquet's and Piangi's deaths were my fault?
I stood before the dressing table's mirror, studying my reflection. The dress was exquisite, and very obviously worth a fortune. It was made of the finest silk and the most delicate lace. It was cut in the most expensive, newest fashion. I took a deep breath and picked up the bouquet and veil before I opened the door and stepped in to the main chamber. I had no idea what he planned to do.
Erik turned when he heard the door open and watched me as I walked towards him. I knew I had to talk to him, but the words would not come. I felt tongue-tied and stupid.
He grabbed my arm and pulled into the centre of the room. He stopped and pushed me roughly in front of him and I stumbled and fell on my knees on the hard floor.
"Have you satisfied your craving for blood?" I asked angrily. "Or am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?" The words were out of my mouth before I thought about them. I realised too late that baiting him was probably not the best thing to do.
He flashed me a nasty grin. "My fate which condemns me to the darkness has also denied me the joys of the flesh," he said coolly. His brilliant blue eyes were icy.
"My face, Christine, it is only my face that poisons our love," he said calmly as he picked up the veil and bouquet which I had dropped when I fell. He stepped towards me and I cringed. He was out of control and I feared what he would do.
"My mother feared me, loathed me, Christine, all because of my face. I did not ask to be born, and yet I have been condemned for my entire life because of that unfortunate event. Do you know what the only gift was that I received from my mother? A mask. My only gift from her, my first scrap of clothing," he said bitterly as he reached down and pulled me to my feet. "She told me she had to make a mask so she could even bear to hold me. She was a beautiful woman, Christine, very beautiful. I daresay that she could hardly bear the thought that something as hideous as me could have come from her."
My eyes filled with tears at his words. I was horrified. How unbelievable tragic! What kind of chance did he have at a normal life when his own mother had treated him so?
"How would you have liked to have been locked in a cage, like some kind of monster? How would you have liked to have spent your life being mocked and ridiculed? You have no idea what it is like, Christine. You are beautiful. What do you know of hatred and cruelty? You have never had to live in the darkness; you have never had to live in fear of the day," he said cynically.
I was overwhelmed by a rush of pity. Erik looked at me for another minute before he put the veil on my head, his movements stiff with anger. "Pity comes too late, Christine. Turn around, face your fate. An eternity of this before your eyes," he said, turning me roughly to face him. He leaned towards me, his face inches from mine.
I looked steadily at him, willing myself to be calm, but a tear still slid down my cheek. He handed me the bouquet, a beautiful bouquet of white silk roses tied with a white satin ribbon, and I took them.
"Your face holds no horror for me, Erik," I whispered sadly, looking into his eyes. "It is in your soul that your true distortion lies," I said, my voice bitter.
We stood, staring at each other, the silence heavy throughout the chamber.
Then a noise came from the archway that led to the lake. Erik whirled around. I looked over and saw Raoul standing at the gate. He was wet; apparently he had swum across the lake. His hair was mussed and he looked panicked and incredibly angry.
"I think, my dear, that we have a guest," Erik said lightly. He turned and sat in his throne chair. "Sir, this is indeed an unparalleled delight! I had rather hoped that you would come, and now my wish comes true! You have truly made my night!" Erik's voice was dripping with sarcasm.
I watched Erik carefully, frozen where I stood. My throat was dry and my hands were shaking.
"Free her!" Raoul shouted. "Do whatever you want with me, but let Christine go! Have you no pity?"
"Your lover makes a passionate plea," Erik said dryly. I glared at him and threw the flowers aside and ran to Raoul. I was terrified of what Erik had planned and what was going to happen to Raoul. Raoul, my dear childhood friend. I did not love Raoul, except perhaps with the fondness of old friends, but I knew what Erik was capable of and I could not bear it if Raoul was killed just because he loved me.
"Please, Raoul, it is useless," I sobbed as I reached through the gate to take his hands. If only I could get him to leave.
"I love her!" Raoul cried. "Does that not mean anything to you? Show some compassion!"
Erik leapt out of the chair and turned his deadly glare on Raoul, who held his gaze evenly. I shrank back as Erik strode towards us, radiating danger and absolute fury. "The world has shown me no compassion," Erik spat.
"Christine! Let me see her!" Raoul demanded.
"Be my guest, sir," Erik said with mocking graciousness. The gate began sliding up and Erik motioned Raoul through. Raoul scrambled underneath it and gathered me into his arms. Erik watched with narrowed eyes.
"Monsieur, I would like to bid you welcome! Did you actually think that I would harm her? Why, may I ask, should I make her pay for your sins?" Erik asked with a cunning smile. His hand lashed out and before I could make a move Raoul was hanging by a thin noose, his feet still touching the floor but the rope cutting into his neck.
Panicked I tried to get the rope loose but I could not. It was too tight and the cord was sharp, cutting into my fingers. My mind was working furiously while Erik and Raoul exchanged words. What could I do?
I looked up as Raoul told Erik that Madame Giry was forming a group to come after him. How much time did we have and how could I untangle this muddled mess?
"Nothing can save you, Monsieur, except perhaps Christine," Erik said finally.
I looked over at him, confused.
"Start a new life with me, Christine. Buy his freedom with the promise of your love. Refuse me and you will send your lover to his death," he said, waving his hand at Raoul who was struggling at the end of the noose. "That is your choice my dear. This is the point of no return!"
My mind reeled from the cruelty of his threat. I walked slowly, resolutely, towards him. When we were face to face I lifted my chin and met his gaze. "I may have pitied you, Erik. But any tears I might have shed for you and your dark fate have grown cold. Any tears I she for you now will be tears of hate!" I said harshly.
Erik stared back at me, and for a brief second his cold façade fell and for an instant he looked like a hurt, lost little boy. Then the wall of anger veiled his eyes again and he stared at me unemotionally.
"Oh, Christine, forgive me, please forgive me! I did it all for you and it was all for nothing!" Raoul cried suddenly, his voice strained.
"You have shattered so many of my illusions," I said softly, still holding his gaze.
"It is too late for turning back now," Erik said furiously. "It is too late for useless pity."
"Say you love him and my life is over. Either way you choose you cannot win!" Raoul said.
"So, Christine, do you end your days with me, or do you send him to his grave?" Erik taunted.
"Why make her lie to you to save me?" Raoul asked, struggling. "For pity's sake, say no! Do not throw your life away for my sake, Christine! I could not bear it!"
"Erik, you were my Angel of Music. You deceived me! I blindly gave you my mind, my life! And it was all lies, Erik! All the murders; Buquet, Piangi and who knows how many more….and for what, Erik? Why, why did you do it?" I asked suddenly, wanting to understand.
Erik walked towards me, his eyes flashing with rage. "You try my patience," he said coldly. "Make your choice."
I took a deep breath as my anger began to wane. Deep down, I understood Erik's motives. He had gone about things so completely wrong, but I knew that he had never been allowed to have a normal life. I remembered the screams of the patrons of Don Juan Triumphant when they had seen his face. What had it been like for him, to have had everyone terrified of him, disgusted by him because of his face? I thought of my father, of our close, loving relationship. Erik had never had that kind of love. Of course he would think he had to hide from me, to pretend he was my Angel of Music. I remembered my initial reaction to his face with shame. It had horrified me, and yes, disgusted me. It was unfair, I knew that, but I could not change my first response. Since then I had learned to look beyond his disfigurement.
Erik had murdered twice since I had met him. I had no doubt that it had happened before, probably more times than I cared to know. But could I really judge him? He was right; I had never had to live with the burden that he bore. I could not imagine living with what he had lived with. I remembered what he had said earlier about being locked in a cage. How could I judge his actions?
There was a stinging behind my eyes as I began to cry, thinking of the life that he had lived. I stepped towards him, feeling an overwhelming rush of love for him. Somehow, the rest did not matter. His methods had been twisted, but I understood his motives. He loved me, I knew that now. He loved me with a desperation that I could hardly bear. My tears fell as I reached a hand out to his face and stroked it gently.
His eyes flashed with confusion and suspicion, but he did not pull away from my touch.
"Oh, Erik," I said softly. "How can tell you? God, give me the courage to show you that you are not alone…" I said as I reached for him.
The rest of the world seemed to fall away as I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him and our lips met.
Erik froze and I could feel his whole body stiffen in confusion as I kissed him. He pulled back and I looked at him. His blue eyes were wide and vulnerable as he stared at me. His mouth was slightly open in awe.
I put my hands on his face and drew him back towards me and kissed him again. He tentatively put his arms around me, barely touching me. As I deepened the kiss he shuddered and then, as his resolve crumbled, he pulled me to him, holding me tightly as the kiss went on.
When I finally drew back my heart was racing and little flames of desire were burning where he touched me. I met his gaze unflinchingly, my hands still on his face, my fingers lightly caressing his scarred cheek. He looked deep into my eyes, his gaze questioning. He was trying to see if there was any revulsion in my eyes, but I just looked at him steadily, lovingly, willing him to believe me, to feel my love.
His eyes were filled with emotion. I saw his hope, his fear and his disbelief. But above all of that I saw the absolute adoration in his eyes as he looked at me.
I smiled tremulously, waiting as he sorted out his feelings.
The moment was broken as Raoul gasped and sputtered, writhing against the noose. My eyes flickered towards him. His face was white, and he looked horrified, disgusted. "No," he whispered. "No, Christine. Do not do this!"
When I glanced back at Erik his face was blank, expressionless. The fire that had always burned in his eyes, whether it was with anger or passion, was gone and his eyes were dull. The longing and the love that had been there moments before was gone, a horrible emptiness in its place as he looked at me.
From somewhere beyond Erik's chambers voices could be heard, shouting. "We will track down this murderer! We will avenge Piangi! We will avenge Buquet!"
The mob, coming after Erik. They were getting closer. Most likely they were making their way down through the many levels, through the corridors.
He took a deep breath and stepped away from me. I felt cold without his arms around me. He looked at me for another long moment while silence surrounded us. Then, as if he had made a decision, he turned and walked towards Raoul.
I followed him fearfully. What was he going to do to Raoul? He reached for the noose and Raoul struggled frantically. His movements stiff, Erik untied the rope and pulled it free of the beam it was hanging over. Raoul yanked the noose off and pulled me into his arms. I struggled to get free of him. "Oh, Christine, Christine. Why did you do it? Why did you throw your life away? I cannot bear the thought of you staying with this monster so I can go free," Raoul whispered in my ear.
"No," I said, trying to push him away. Raoul had it all wrong. I had not done what I had done only to save Raoul's life! How could he not understand that?
Erik was watching us silently. His face was completely blank and the energy, the power that had surrounded him like a cloak was gone, it had disappeared like so much frost in the light of morning and he suddenly looked old and very tired.
"Take her," Erik said, his voice flat and emotionless. "Forget me and forget all of this."
"What?" I gasped, breaking out of Raoul's grip.
"Leave me alone, forget all you have seen," Erik said mechanically.
"No," I whispered.
Raoul was tugging at my sleeve. "Christine, come with me. Now."
"Go now. Do not let them find you here," Erik said with a slight break in his voice.
"Erik, no! What are you doing?" I cried.
"Take the boat, leave me here. Go now, do not wait," he said, refusing to look at me.
"Please, Erik!" I said.
"Christine, I appreciate your devotion to the Vicomte," he said, glancing at me. "I appreciate that you were willing to lie and pretend to love me to spare him. But the Vicomte is right. What kind of love would I have, knowing I only had you because you loved him enough to throw your life away for him? I do not want you to lie to me."
"But…I-I am not lying!" I said shrilly.
Erik smiled, a ghost of his normal smile. "Christine, you are free. Forget me, forget all that has happened. I will not hold you to my insane demands. Just go."
I stood, staring at him, my mouth open. "Erik!" I whispered.
Raoul grabbed my arms. "Come, Christine," he said firmly.
"No!" I shouted, struggling against him. "NO!"
"Just take her and go," Erik told Raoul. "Before it is too late. Before I change my mind and do something I will regret. Just go! Go now and leave me!" Erik's voice broke with emotion as he stepped forward menacingly. His eyes blazed again with anger and hurt. "GO! LEAVE ME!" he roared.
Raoul looked at me and pulled me into his arms while I struggled. "Christine, you are not thinking. We must go," he said and, carrying me away from Erik, he hurried me out of Erik's chambers. I looked over Raoul's shoulder. Erik was doubled over next to the organ, his shoulders heaving. Raoul hauled me through the archway towards the boat.
I stopped struggling. Erik's voice, tight with emotion, carried from his chambers. "You alone could make my song take flight, Christine, my love. It is over now….the music of the night."