365 days.
An entire year and it felt like it was just yesterday.
Sweet little Milo was a year old, she felt her eyes well with tears, happy tears. Her little boy was the center of her universe, he was her heart. Milo and Adam. Her people, her soul mate and their little boy.
Life couldn't get any better.
She had spent a lot of time in the nursery with Milo, he was barely a month old when he turned from their seemingly content little boy into a screaming inconsolable little boy. He cried for hours on end, tears pouring from his eyes. His tiny little arms would flail, his hands clasped into little fists.
It was gut wrenching for her and Adam both, it seemed nothing they did helped their son.
That had been rough.
Kim had felt like a failure when she couldn't soothe Milo, and she had taken it out on Adam.
It had gotten ugly, Adam had stormed out many a nights. The slam of the door was always what brought Kim's tears. She would retreat to the nursery and sit in the rocking chair with Milo. Both of them crying, she would stay put until Milo eventually cried himself to sleep.
Adam would return, only to find both Kim and Milo asleep. He would gently lift the baby from Kim's arms and Lay him in his crib. Adam wouldthen wake Kim and he would apologize profusely to Kim for leaving.
One particular night had stuck out in her mind. Milo was just two months old and it had been a particularly rough day on all accounts. Adam had been working eighteen hour days for over a week, working diligently to find the abducted daughter of an Illinois senator. Sadly, her remains had been found in the trunk of a car parked in a parking garage. She had been horrifically abused and mutilated, she was five years old.
Adam had come home and sat on the back porch for a good hour before he came in and tried to behave as if nothing had happened. Though she knew, Al had called her earlier in the day to give her a heads up. Adam was barely holding it together, he had attacked the suspect leaving him in a bloody heap on the floor of the 21st.
He finally came inside and behaved as if nothing was wrong, he had grabbed the leftovers from the previous night and proceeded to heat it up. She was desperate to know Adam was doing but she knew that she needed to allow Adam to come to her. She decided to take advantage of Adam being home and Milo napping, it was the perfect time for a shower. A proper shower.
"Adam, I'm gonna jump in the shower, Milo's sleeping." Kim said as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind as he sat at the table, "I love you." He may not be ready to talk but she was going to remind him that he was loved, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
He grunted something unintelligible and nodded his head in response.
Kim hadn't been in the shower when Milo's cries came over the monitor, Adam waited a minute or two to see if the infant would go back to sleep. When it was apparent he wasn't going back to sleep, Adam washed his hands and went to him.
"Hey Milo." Adam lifted him from the bassinet, "let's change that diaper." He spoke, Milo continuing to scream. His arms flailed widely, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Come on buddy. Daddy's hurrying, don't cry man." Adam placed on hand on Milo's tummy as he looked around for his pacifier finding one in one of the baskets on the shelf above the table. Each time Adam popped it in his mouth, Milo quickly rejected it allowing it to fall back on the table.
"Come on, son." Adam mumbled as he bounced around the room hoping to calm his little boy, he had shifted Milo so his tummy was laying across his forearm and his head sat in the palm of Adam's hand.
Sometimes it seemed to settle him, but it wasn't working at the moment. Adam moved him to his chest, Milo's head tucked into his neck, he was patting his back and Milo continued to scream.
Kim rarely he the time to enjoy a nice hot shower since Milo had been born, usually it was a quick in and out shower. It was nice to stand under the hot water and relax as it hit her back.
As she turned off the taps and stepped out, she could hear the shrill screams of her son.
Quickly she dried off and got dressed, she wrapped the towel around her hair andfollowed the cries of her son.
Nothing could've prepared her for what she found.
She slowly pushed the door open and found Milo on the floor crying, as she stepped further in the room she found Adam.
He sat on the floor with his back against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest.
He too was crying.
Kim picked Milo up off the floor, and for once he calmed down the minute he was in her arms. It was as if he knew something was wrong with his daddy and he needed to cooperate so his mommy could deal with it. She plopped the pacifier in his mouth, he eagerly sucked on it. He was content, she set him in the swing and turned it on. The rhythmic side to side motion had begun to lull the boy back to sleep, and she now turned her attention to her husband.
It appeared as if he had no idea Kim was in the room, she sat next to him. She slipped her arm around his, "Adam?"
He didn't reply.
She leaned into him, "Adam, are you okay?"
"No." His response was curt.
"Okay. Do you want to talk about it?" Kim was treading lightly, Adam was an enigma to her at times. He often got so wrapped up in a case that he would retreat into a bubble of sorts and it was as if no one else existed.
"I couldn't help him." He mumbled, "I tried..." he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, "I tried...and nothing worked." He looked up at her, "We found her...I found her.." the composure he had gained was brief as he broke down again, "I couldn't help her..I didn't save her" tears streamed down his face, breaking Kim's heart.
Even now almost a year later it still sent chills down her spine.
Shortly after that they had learned Milo was dealing was dealing with colic. They had gone to a birthday party for Gabby and Matt Casey little girl Mia, Milo had started crying and Cindy Hermann had recognized the signs and showed them a few tricks. A call to the doctor, had confirmed it.
One of Kim's favorite memories of the last year was Adam gagging his way through an explosion of shit.
Or 'Shit-mageddon ' and in fairness to Adam he wasn't that far off.
"Eww" Kim jammed her fingers under her nose, "Adam, did you fart?" The aroma was intense and it was foul.
"No. I did not." He retorted, highly offended by her question, "I don't smell anything. Was it you? You're trying to pin it on me..aren't you? That's cold, Kim." He got up from the couch and went to her, stopping in the middle of the living room, "damn...you weren't kidding"
Five month old Milo lay on his belly on his playmat, Adam kneeled down, "Darlin', your boy stinks. He's ripe."
"Darlin', you found it." Kim retorted, "You know the rules, you find it you change."
"But..."
"No buts about it, babe. You're up." Kim laughed as Adam finally caved and picked Milo up, holding him under the arms and keeping him at arms length.
Milo happily kicking his legs oblivious to it all.
Adam grabbed his supplies and got to it, he went to pull the tiny CPD onesie up and he felt it, it was nasty. He knew in that moment he had a handful of shit, "Kim!" He screamed, he couldn't move and he didn't dare look at his hand. Seemed he could handle a dead body but his five month old's shit was vomit inducing.
"Don't be a baby.." Kim started to tease him, only to laugh hysterically as held his hand up for her to see and started to gag. Again.
Milo was squirming on the changing table, spreading shit everywhere, as much as she enjoyed watching Adam attempt to clean their son, she intervened. "Go. I got this."
"Hey baby." Adam dipped his head to kiss her and Milo. "You're up early." He tickled his son's chin, "Happy Birthday buds."
Kim looked up at him "Time has flown, I can't believe he's one."
Adam sat on the small ottoman, "its wild. He's growing way too fast, I wish we could slow it down."
Kim ran her fingers through Milo's hair, "Me too. He's practically running."
"Our boy is a champ, aren't you big guy."
Adam propped his feet up on the coffee table, watching Milo as he played with his trucks.
Kim working on her laptop, "Babe he's only ten moths, give the Birthday part planning a break. Come sit with me." Adam patted the couch beside him.
It was a rare Saturday off for them both, and he planned on taking advantage of a weekend off.
She closed the laptop, "Just for a little bit." She plopped down beside him, watching as Milo babbled and crawled towards the table pulling himself up on it.
"My pop swears he will walk before his first birthday." Adam told her moving his legs and placing them in Kim's lap giving Milo more room.
"We're screwed if he does. Once he's walking it's all over. You'll have to stop leaving your shit everywhere, and we will need to baby proof."
"Mama!" Milo called out as he bounced up and down.
"DaDa!" Adam teased as he climbed down to get on the floor with him, "Say it Milo. Say DaDa!"
Milo let go off the table and took a shaky step and the another before falling into Adam's lap, "Hell yes!" Adam jumped up tossing Milo in the air "that's daddy's boy."
Kim laughed through happy tears.
Kim brushed the hair from Milo's eye revealing the line of stitches just above his eyebrow, it was the first of many.
"Ball" Milo held the football in two hands, "Ball".
"That's a football, Milo. Bring it to Uncle Kevin." Kevin told him.
As Milo toddled over towards Kevin he stumbled in slow motion both Kevin and Adam unable to catch the little boy as he started to fall.
The sound of Milo's head as it his the corner of the coffee table was sickening, the only thing worse was Milo's screams.
It was a nasty gash and the blood instantly started to pour from the wound.
Adam was up an holding Milo in his arms, "Oh man..let daddy see it." It had happened in slow motion and Adam was certain his heart had stopped beating when Milo had fallen.
"Adam, man. He's gonna need stitches, that's a deep cut." Kevin held the towel to Milo's head.
"Fuck." Adam felt like someone had reached into his chest and ripped his heart out.
Kevin grabbed his keys, "Come on I'll drive you"
"You going to call my wife too?" Adam dreaded that call. He had taken Milo to Kevin so Kim could get a few things done for the birthday party tomorrow.
"Nope. I'm not that brave."
"Some friend you are."
Adam flinched at the sight, "I feel terrible about that, it was the worst feeling in the world. Seeing my boy in pain and all that blood." Milo's eye had swelled and bruised overnight and it only added to the overwhelming guilt Adam felt. "It all happened in slow motion, I watched him fall, Insaw his face hit the table..I couldn't move. I had never been so scared in my life. Then he started screaming, it was awful. I'm so sorry."
Kim handed him Milo, "Adam, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident, just the first of many I'm sure."
"We've had a lot of firsts this year, haven't we?" Adam kissed Milo's cheeks.
"We did, it's been an amazing year, and I can't wait to see what the next year brings us."
The party was in full swing, the house was packed with their friends and family, Kim finally found a minute to sit.
Milo was soaking up all the attention and more than happy to be passed from one pair of arms to the next, though he was currently chasing after Kevin and a couple of neighborhood kids as they played in the backyard.
"Hey, handsome." She kissed Adam quickly on the mouth before sitting his lap, "this is new territory for you, isn't it?"
He pushed her hair behind her ear, "What is?" He smiled at her, her eyes sparkling had his motor running. It never took much to get him going, but lately all it took was her just looking in his direction. "You think we could slip away?" He mumbled against her skin as he nuzzled her neck.
Kim leaned into him, "We can't." Though she really wanted to, "You're not the life of the party anymore..if you've been usurped by a one year old" she laughed, allowing his hand to slip under her shirt for just a moment or two.
"As long as I'm still the life of your party darlin, it's all good." He groaned a bit when she stood up.
"Pull yourself together babe." She laughed, "its time for cake."
The cake had been a success, though it wasn't exactly clear how much if any had made it in to Milo's mouth. He was covered from his head to his toes, along with the area around his high chair.
After a quick bath, they now set about opening presents. Milo had taken to it like a fish to water, it had taken Adam just showing him once what to do and he was off. He had zero interest in any of the toys, books, or clothes that he had opened. He was quite content to play with the scraps of wrapping paper and boys.
Adam was like a kid in a toy store, he was pretty excited with the motorized ride on police car the intelligence unit had commissioned for Milo. To be fair Kevin and Jay were right there with him as they looked over the car, trying out the sirens and lights. Erin was quite proud of herself when Kim mentioned the seat belt in it. It had been Erin's idea and she had made it known.
Kimwaited for the crowd to quiet down, she excused herself and returned with a small gift bag.
"Adam, babe. Could you tear yourself away from your son's car for his a minute?" She handed him the bag.
It was light as a feather, "What's this?" He asked.
"It's for Milo." She told him, "Milo go sit with daddy."
She waited for Adam to sit down and then deposited Milo in his lap, she clasped her hands together in anticipation.
Adam pulled the tissue paper out, Milo quickly grabbed it and started tearing it, laughing hysterically Ashe did so.
The bag contained a pale blue shirt, Adam pulled it out.
"I've been promoted to big brother." Adam read, a look of confusion on his face, "Wait..what?"
Kim was beaming, "I'm pregnant!"
Adam jumped up and wrapped his arms around her, "That's fucking amazing!" He quickly apologized the minute the word slipped from his mouth.
"We get to do this all over again" Kim laughed, "You're happy, right?"
"I'm stoked. It's amazing news!"
"We will get another year of firsts." Kim looped her arms around his neck, she stood on her toes to capture his lips, forgetting all about the houseful of guests.
Just a little more fluff.