T: Here's my newest chapter for those who are still reading this. I hope you are enjoying it.
"We've handled many jobs sir, and are skilled at all sorts, Kidnapping, Pirating, Torture, Murder, Tracking and Chocobo breeding!" I happily told them everything we did.
Um... Why are they looking at me like that?
"...You're experienced with kidnapping?" The older man asked.
"Yes we have kidnapped 11,000 People, 29,652 Children, 1,000,000 babies and a flower with the utmost ease." Once again they looked worried, but I could tell they were impressed.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked them.
"...It...doesn't matter. Anyway we need your 'amazing' kidnapping skills to kidnap 2 children, newborns to be more precise." Replied the Mouse like humanoid.
"Ahh babies, excellent just wait a moment good sirs." I asked them, we would only need two of us to be able to handle this with extreme ease.
"RENO! RUDE!! Get your buts out here!" I yelled throughout the house.
Rude came down the stairs and had a towel around his head like a woman and Reno well...
"NO! NOO! I WON'T TELL YOU WHERE THE SACRED MATERIA IS!! NEVER!!" Was Reno's reply.
Fantastic, I have a crazy bald man who thinks he has hair and the other suffers from air freshener sickness.
Reno eventually appeared thanks to Elena dragging him up the stairs despite the fact that Choco had decided to bite onto Reno's head and hanging from him with no strain to Reno or the chocobo.
How does a fully-grown chocobo hold onto a human's head perfectly standing upside down without breaking it? Nothing was making sense nowadays.
"You've got a kidnapping to do." This ought to bring them back to their senses.
Rude then tossed off both towels to reveal his standard suit, with sunglasses as well and Reno had finally snapped out his mad trance.
"Mission time eh?" asked Rude with a cocky grin on his face.
Meanwhile Reno had miraculously pulled out every single weapon known to mankind and held them in his two hands with ease.
"So...Who do we get to kill?" Reno had entered his assassin phase now it would seem.
"No one! You are to kidnap two babies from somewhere. Now go forth!! And do not fail me!" I exclaimed in my great leader pose, showing everyone my great chest and my dominance over my fellow employees with lighting in the background.
Rude then called a helicopter to crash right in front of the house and hopped in along with Reno and his bazillion weapons of mass death.
"...Wha?" was the only reply from the mouse.
"Don't worry, they're professionals." I replied with confidence.
Rude and Reno then took off in the helicopter towards their destination, or so they would have if either of them paid more attention in helicopter lessons for dummies that President Rufus tried so hard to get.
"AH! A building!!" Yelled Rude like a little girl.
"MOVE YOU USELESS BUILDING!!" Yelled Reno as he drove the helicopter right through the building without sustaining any damage, unlike the building, which had been completely destroyed by the sheer impact of the helicopter.
"HA-HA!! BUILDINGS ARE NO MATCH FOR RENO THE GREAT HELICOPTER PILOT! HAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!! Those babies shall be OURS!" Was the only thing people could hear from around the world, along with numerous explosions and cries of death and Rude's high pitched girly scream as Reno decided to pilot the helicopter facing down so that the helicopters blades would slice up anything that got in there path, mainly pedestrians and the occasional puppy as well.
Meanwhile with Tseng, he was enjoying seeing Reno and Rude doing the job as Turks should, removing any and all obstacles that could hinder their mission. But as for Ansem the Wise and Mickey Mouse, they were speechless.
"See I told you they were professionals. Didn't I sirs." I just knew they would be impressed. Their shocked faces told me as such.
"Wait! We haven't told you where the kids are!! How will your men find them!?" replied Ansem with a face between shocked, horrified and worry.
"My men know where they are. WE KNOW EVERYTHING!!" lighting crashed in the background as I stared into the old mans eyes.
"...How much?"
"Only half infinity of Munny will do." I replied.
"? There's no such amount of -"
"HALF INFINITY!" I replied in a dark tone.
The old man and the mouse looked at each other with slightly scared faces and after a long time they spoke.
"Deal."
After half an hour of crashing into buildings and destroying half of Destiny Islands population, Reno and Rude arrived at the building where the two children were being held prisoner.
"Are you sure this is the place?" Reno asked Rude.
"Yes, Destiny Islands secret laboratory, come on man everyone knows about it."
They do? I must be the only person who hasn't then. Thought Reno.
After they landed silently and stealthily, which was more like crashing into the side of the building and killing all the guards insight they proceeded to fly into the ventilation system like all good stealth agents.
They slithered like snakes through the ventilation systems whilst making hissing noises and randomly grab a guard that happened to pass by the vents in an alien rip off sort of way. They would position themselves perfectly vertical and wait for the guards to pass by and then pop the vents open and using strong jaws, grab the poor victims and slither back into the ventilation shafts.
This lasted for a good 5 and half hours until they reached another vent where they spotted someone very familiar.
"Hey Reno. Isn't that who I think it is?" Rude asked his crazy friend.
Reno got into view and looked through the vent to see who it was Rude was talking about.
He looks very familiar, lab coat, ugly face, same glasses. Oh no it's him...
T: A cliff hanger. I hope you liked it, reviews are welcome