T: Here's the next chapter and it's quite lengthy so get comfortable. Contains humour (hopefully).

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or own any other film, game I make a reference to.

1 Day remaining, our time grows thinner as the hours pass by. I intend to use this summon materia to save my kingdom from these invaders, although I doubt I will be able to use it.

Mickey had stayed to help counsel Ansem in any way he could. Ansem had been examining the summon materia that Mickey had given him, he needed to know which creature would appear. He prayed that it would be one of the legendary summons, creatures that possessed the power to level armies, make countries bow before their power, there were even some worlds that even worshipped the most powerful of these summons.

"Mickey, would you by any chance know what creature this materia calls forth?" Ansem thought that maybe Mickey would know.

"Unfortunately, I don't know. But Minnie told me that the summon that the materia calls forth is one that is worshipped by many and labelled as 'The Holy Guardian'." Mickey replied to Ansem's question.

'The Holy Guardian' only one creature had been labelled that, and even then it was only found once.

Ansem recalled reading about this 'Holy Guardian', the last time it was called forth was over 1,000 years ago. It had destroyed its enemies with holy light, which was a rare element to control, even for the greatest of sorcerers and white mages.

"Hmm, so this must be one of the legendary summons. Maybe we still have a chance to win." Ansem said, his hopes building for once in the few days since the invaders came.

"Uncle Ansem!" Kairi had once again snuck into Ansem's study through the ventilation shafts.

"What are you doing here? Your mother would be worried you know." Ansem looked at his niece with a playful look on his face.

Kairi let out a small giggle before turning to look at the red stone that had caught her attention.

"What's that Uncle?" Kairi asked out of curiosity.

Ansem looked at what his niece pointed at and could only chuckle at her curiosity; she was always able to tell if her uncle had a new study object.

Kairi then noted there was a visitor; she had never seen anything like it before, he had two round ears and was a mouse.

"Who are you?" Kairi asked the mouse like humanoid.

"I am Mickey Mouse, King of Disney Castle. I'm a friend of your uncle's." Mickey replied performing a small bow to Kairi.

"It's nice to meet you King Mickey, I'm Kairi." Kairi replied returning a bow to the king.

"Nice to meet you too, Kairi." Mickey said giving a big smile to the young girl.

Ansem cracked at a smile at the scene, Kairi was never a shy girl, and she could talk to just about anyone without being nervous at all.

Just then there was a knock on the door, catching the attention of Ansem, Mickey and Kairi.

"Enter." Ansem answered and the door opened to reveal Xehanort in his lab coat, he came in and gave a bow to Ansem and Mickey. Kairi went to her uncle's side, she never did like Xehanort, she could always feel a dark aura around him.

"Master Ansem, I know this isn't the time for this but...it's about the experiments." Xehanort replied in his usual tone.

"...What about them?" Ansem replied raising his right eyebrow. He knew what he wanted.

"With your permission, I would like to proceed with what we –"

"I FORBID IT!!" Ansem had risen out of his seat whilst slamming his hand down on the table.

"But...Master Ansem..." Xehanort tried to reason with his master.

"Forget this talk of doors and the heart of all worlds. That place must not be defiled." Ansem replied to his most reliable assistant, and he knew Xehanort wouldn't like the idea of giving up the experiments.

"But...but...I've been thinking, maybe we can-"

Ansem shook his head before replying.

"Xehanort, those thoughts are best left forgotten." Ansem replied in a stern voice.

Xehanort tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. He was too overcome with the news that he was to abandon the experiments.

He gave a small bow before groaning and shutting the door. After Xehanort left, Ansem looked down to see his niece hugging his leg tightly. Mickey was looking back and forth between Ansem and Kairi.

"I take it she doesn't like him?" Mickey asked with concern in his voice.

"Hmm, what made you think that my friend?" Ansem replied with a smile at his lips, silently giving a yes to his friend.

"He...he scares me Uncle Ansem." Kairi was holding onto her uncle's leg as if it were a shield.

Ansem stroked her hair in an effort to calm her down and hopefully let go of his leg. He then looked at the spot where his apprentice stood, and for once in his life, Ansem felt suspicious of Xehanort. Sure he had helped countless times with his experiments, but Ansem had recalled the look on Xehanort's face before he left.

"Kairi, think you could go back to your mother, she must be worried sick about you." Ansem replied kneeling down to look his niece in the eyes.

"O-okay, but promise me nothing bad will happen tomorrow." Kairi asked, looking her uncle in the eye.

I almost forgot, tomorrow they come for her. I hope that the summon materia will be able to help us.

"Uncle Ansem?" Kairi asked shaking her uncle a bit to bring him back to his senses.

"Yes, yes I promise you Kairi. No bad will happen." Ansem said to his niece.

Ansem then gave his niece a hug, fearing that this could be the last time he ever saw her. He always had a knack for foretelling future events, and he had a horrid feeling something bad was going to occur.

"Kairi, before you go, I want you to have this." Ansem reached over his desk to grab the summon materia that rested on the desk.

"You're giving this to me?" Kairi asked with delight in her voice. She always loved it when her Uncle gave her presents.

"It's a special stone Kairi. If anything should happen, put it in both your hands and pray for your guardian angel." Ansem knew that this would sound silly, but it could just save them.

"Thank you Uncle Ansem! I will keep good care of it." Kairi said putting the materia in one of her small pockets in her dress.

Kairi walked towards the door and opened it, but before she left, she turned around and waved at her uncle and Mickey.

"Bye Uncle Ansem. Bye King Mickey." Kairi replied before leaving Ansem's study.

Then Ansem did something he hadn't done in years, he cried. He cried over the fact that he may never see her again, that the invaders could indeed destroy his home and kidnap his niece along with any other children they would find.

Mickey went over to Ansem and rubbed his back, trying to comfort his friend in this dire time.

"Mickey sniff promise me something will you." Ansem said looking at his small friend.

"What is it?" Mickey replied with a worried tone.

"If anything should happen tomorrow, promise me you will take Kairi someplace safe. Somewhere that these, -things- sniff won't be able to find her." Ansem asked his friend with watery eyes.

"Ansem, nothing bad is going to happen tomorrow. Everything will be alright. Trust me." Mickey replied with a small smile.

"Promise me, Mickey. If anything should happen to me or her parents, take her somewhere she will be safe from harm." Ansem asked, now begging his friend.

"...I'll do it. If anything happens, which it won't, I'll take her somewhere safe." Mickey replied before giving his friend a reassuring smile and a hug to help him settle down.

Xehanort walked through the halls of Radiant Garden's castle, mumbling all sorts of curses at his master, Ansem.

Arrogant fool! He doesn't understand!! I know we can control the heartless, I know we can harness the power of the heart! I know it, if he would only see reason. It's probably that brat niece of his, Kairi. If she were out the way, then maybe Ansem could concentrate on the experiments again! Yes!! THAT'S IT!!

"You look rather steamed, Xehanort." Xehanort looked at the person who called his name and saw none other than Braig.

Braig was one of the few apprentices that worked alongside him and Ansem, Braig was the kind of apprentice that would often goof up and blame it on the nearest inanimate object he spotted, and if there were none available he would use his escape goat, literally, to flee the room.

"Braig, you brainless son of a moogle. What are you doing here?" Xehanort replied with a frown fixed on his face.

"What!? How did you find out!? Did Ienzo tell you!?" Braig yelled at Xehanort for finding out his true heritage.

"...You are!?" Was Xehanort's shocked reply to Braig's outburst.

"Uh, he didn't tell you?" Braig was now looking incredibly sheepish and worried.

"It was only an insult Braig. So you're really the son of a human and a moogle?" Xehanort replied whilst slowly walking backwards.

"It's true." Said a voice from above.

"Ienzo? What the heck are you doing up there?" Xehanort yelled to the youngest of Ansem's apprentices.

"To be honest...I don't really know. I was flirting with a couple of hot chicks when all of a sudden, I appeared up here." Ienzo replied whilst moving his extremely short hair out of his eyes.

Why does he do that? He hardly has any hair and he just... sigh. Oh well, typical Ienzo.

"Just get down here Ienzo; you'll hurt yourself up there." Xehanort told his strange friend.

"Right O' then." Ienzo said before commencing a fancy jump he saw in the film 'Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children'.

Ienzo leaped from the 80th floor of the castle and performed all sorts of cool flips and stunts, several included using a skateboard he pulled out of his lab coat and grinded along the banisters and pillars that helped support the castle. He then landed with a firm thud on the ground as he stood up right, Xehanort and Braig both gave 10 out of 10 and congratulated him.

That was how Ienzo saw himself as he imagined the following scene, the amount of respect he would earn from his colleagues and the amount of girls that would faint and beg him to take them out from his magnificent performance.

What really happened, was when he leaped off the edge of the 80th floor, he tripped over an invisible stone that plotted to end Ienzo's life. This resulted in Ienzo plummeting at an amazing speed of 300,000 mph as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Was all that could be heard as Ienzo collided with the ground which resulted in a huge impact crater in the middle of the floor that rivalled that of a meteor striking the earth.

"Think he's alright?" Braig asked Xehanort with a tiny bit of concern for his colleague as they examined the meteor crater Ienzo had formed. It measured an amazing length of 234.79 kilometres in diameter and was 6,284,039 metres deep.

"Hmm, nope. I bet he's dead." Xehanort replied while trying to hold back his laughter at Ienzo's clumsiness of tripping over an invisible stone.

"Ah! Xehanort and Braig, there you are." This voice belonged to Even, a scientist who had a habit of taking everything way too seriously, he loved to experiment, especially using ice cubes and various stuffed toys.

"Even, how nice of you to drop by." Xehanort replied to Even's greeting.

"Really!? Don't mention it and, gasp, WHERE DID THIS METEOR CRATER COME FROM!?" Even had entered his hyper, overreacting stage.

"Ienzo attempted to pull off an 'Advent Children' and do fancy flips off walls and spin a lot. Instead he tripped over an invisible stone and plummeted to his death. Poor Ienzo." Braig said whilst holding a hand to his head, saluting Ienzo's memory.

"Oh yes, those invisible stones are lethal. I swear they will be the end of us." Even had started taking notes about how evil stones were.

"I'm not dead." Ienzo had finally crawled out of his impact crater and looked completely fine, no scratches or broken bones, not even a speck of dust.

"Oh, you lived eh?" Xehanort replied, disappointed at the fact that no one died.

As they were all rejoicing over Ienzo's survival, except for Xehanort, a huge brute named Aeleus was piloting his beloved floating stick; he skilfully landed the stick on top of a flight of stairs. He dismounted the stick and began to walk down the stairs until he tripped over another invisible stone, the same stone that planned to kill Ienzo, and fell down the stairs, hitting every part of his body on the way down which finally ended with a huge thud. He then stood up and dismissed the stick, the stick galloped off whilst making horse noises.

"Aeleus, you have to tell me how you make pathetic objects such as sticks and whatnot capable of growing 5 times their original size and have animal personalities." Even asked the 'less' intelligent of Ansem's apprentices who was amazed at the stick he travelled with.

"Duh, I used cooking powder along with a hair off Xenorts head." Aeleus had offered his vast intelligence to the heathen gods to learn the secret of making sticks fly.

"Argh! It's 'Xehanort' not 'Xenort' you brainless idiot!" Xehanort couldn't tolerate Aeleus in the slightest.

"Whatever you say Xeahort, duh huh!" Aeleus replied with a tone that was one of pure idiocy.

"...You know what? Forget it." Xehanort wasn't in the mood for Aeleus's lack of intelligence.

"Wait a minute, where's Dilan?" Ienzo asked whilst removing his short hair from his eyes again.

Dilan was the more strategic and brain puzzler of Ansem's apprentices. He would usually walk through the town of Radiant Garden and randomly lift up girl's skirts, which resulted in him paying a lot of visits to the hospital to recover from their lethal slaps and fierce magic spells, once he had suffered from the lethal limit break known as 'Omnislap'. If no girls were around, he would then resort to shoving people into conveniently placed mine fields and watch the fireworks. He also loved to write poems that were all about wind.

"Ugh, he's probably shoving some poor person into a mine field undoubtedly." Xehanort knew him well, better than Dilan's parents.

"WASSUP!!" The voice of Dilan could be heard as he walked into the castle and lifting up the skirt of one of the maids. This resulted in the maid unleashing several Ultima spells upon poor Dilan.

Where did master Ansem find these, these, imbeciles? I would never believe them to be apprentices under Ansem the Wise. But more like apprentices for the 'Idiots r us' group.

Dilan crawled along the floor after suffering several Ultima spells from the maid. Xehanort was once again angered by the fact no one had died today.

"Hey guys, want to hear my new poem?" Dilan asked pulling a piece of paper out of his pockets.

"NO!" Xehanort yelled at his friend, Dilan had a knack for making rubbish poems.

"Oh come on Xort, it will be good. DUH!!" Aeleus advised Xehanort whilst having a cross eyed/deranged face.

"Here it is." Dilan had now placed the paper on his nose and read his newest poem on wind.

Wind, Wind, WIND!!

You blow me from here to a Chocobo's pen

Wind, Wind, WIND!!

SMITE MY ENEMIES WITH A BLACK VEGETABLE
ALL HAIL THE VEGETABLES!!

WIND, WIND, WIND!!

I SUE YOU FOR BEING CALLED WIND!

WIND, WIND, WIND!!

YOU SOUND LIKE A FART GONE WRONG

If you only you were called the 'blowing sound'
Oh yeah and something about Wind.

The end

"..." Everyone had gone silent at Dilan's poem.

Several minutes passed before anyone spoke, the first was Xehanort.

"Not only was it a sucky poem, it wasn't even written correctly." Xehanort was now on the verge of pulling out a shotgun to blow off Dilan's face, along with anyone else who dared look at him.

"Duh?" Aeleus was at a loss for words, to him this was Shakespeare material.

"It could...do with a...oh...bit of improvement." Ienzo was trying his hardest not to sound mean and trying not to burst into a laughing fit.

"No comments." Braig was busy looking for the instant death pills he carried in his pocket.

"..." Even had collapsed on the floor, fainting from the fact that Dilan's poem had ruin the very meaning of the word 'poetry'.

"Great eh? I already posted it on the internet, radio, my birth certificate and sent a copy to those Armageddon fuelled monsters that are coming to destroy us." Dilan replied feeling very proud of himself, until Xehanort cocked a shotgun which at this current moment was pointing directly at Dilan's face.

"Dilan...Have you ever wondered what your face would look like with a shotgun blast in it?" Xehanort was now as one could say, pissed. The reasons for him being this were due to the fact no one had died, and he needed to take out his frustration out on something thanks to Ansem.

"DUH?! What are you going to do Xohanert?" Aeleus asked, lacking intelligence he had no idea what Xehanort was planning to do.

"Well Aeleus, what I propose to do, is to blast off Dilan's face. Mainly since he has produced 11,000,000 crappy poems. This will result in extreme, agonizing pain followed shortly by DEATH!!" Xehanort was now starting to look a psychotic killer, his face was in a scary smile and he was frothing at the mouth.

Even was taking notes on what Xehanort had just shared. This was a discovery, he never knew what would happen if a shotgun was fired at point-blank range.

"DUH, that doesn't sound nice." Aeleus said whilst wagging his finger at Xehanort.

Xehanort at that second broke, his vast will power had been destroyed thanks to several things; Ienzo surviving his deadly fall, Dilan's crap poetry, if you could call it poetry, Aeleus being a moronic moogle, oh and he hated his stupid flying stick and he hated it how Even was taking notes about the most simplest of things.

Then without warning Xehanort turned the shotgun at Aeleus's stupid smiling, cross eyed face and pulled the trigger on his shotgun. Everyone looked at the scene, they were shocked at what happened, not only did Xehanort shoot Aeleus, but the bullets seemed to have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever.

"OW! DUH, that hurt Xehaonrt! I could have been badly injured." Aeleus replied whilst rubbing the spot where the bullets bounced off.

"..." Xehanort was surprised at Aeleus, how did he survive?

"AMAZING!! AELEUS SURVIVED A SHOT TO THE HEAD!! I MUST EXPERIMENT ON HIM!!" Even had gotten into his crazy scientist mode.

"Someone restrain Even, before he makes Aeleus even worse." Xehanort had finally decided how he was going to get his revenge on his master.

"I have an important announcement to make." Everyone had given Xehanort their undivided attention.

"As some of you might know, our master, the ever so great Ansem the Wise, has made all experiments involving the human hearts forbidden." Xehanort replied in a loud voice to get his point across to his fellow workmates.

"WHAT!?" Was everyone's reply except for Aeleus, he replied with his usual 'DUH?'.

"Yes I know, it's horrible to think, but true. He thinks' we shouldn't mess with these things encase something bad happens. I say he's become weak, and I blame it on that wretched brat Kairi!" Xehanort yelled whilst holding a picture of Kairi he pulled out of nowhere.

"Oh Kairi, cute girl, very nice." Replied Braig to Xehanort's recent statement.

"There's nothing wrong with her." Was Ienzo's reply.

"DUH HUH, HUH!" Aeleus randomly blurted out.

"What do you have against her Xehanort?" Asked Even.

"What's wrong with her? She is making Ansem soft; she's using her...her..." Xehanort couldn't think of the correct word to use.

"...Influence?" Dilan suggested to Xehanort.

"Aye, influence to make him soft hearted. Sooner or later he'll start calling himself Ansem the Pansy." Xehanort said trying to hold back his laughter at the new name he gave Ansem.

"So what you're saying Xehanort, is that you want to get your revenge against Ansem." Even suggested.

"That's exactly what I intend to do Even. But how could we do it?" Xehanort and all of the other apprentices began to think of many ways they could punish their master for ruining their fun.

"Duh...I've got an idea." Aeleus had used whatever ounce of his intelligence that remained to think of a cunning plan.

"You? You've thought of a plan?" Xehanort asked the idiotic one with slight shock.

"Yeah, UH HUH!! What we do, is we lock him in a realm of darkness, where escape is impossible!" Aeleus told his fellow colleagues his brilliant plan which everyone replied with 'Yes, good idea' and 'Brilliant thinking Aeleus'. All except for one.

"That is probably the most ridiculous plan I have ever heard." Xehanort replied with his arms crossed and going into a huff like a child.

Hmm, that's what I was thinking. Now how can I pass it off as my idea without arousing suspicion?

Xehanort struggled to think of something to say, how could he improve it? Then it finally hit him.

"How about...we ask him to come into the main hall...then talk about random things...then...we, oh I don't know, maybe SEND HIM TO THE DARK REALM OF HELL AND TORTURE! THERE DEMONS WILL PROD EVERYSINGLE PART OF HIS BODY WITH HUMONGOUS FORKS! EVERY, SINGLE, BODYPART!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Oh and he won't be able to escape." Xehanort knew that what he just said was one of the greatest lines of speech in existence.

Everyone was silent; they will still absorbing Xehanort's speech and comparing it with Aeleus's suggestion. Then after a couple of minutes they came to a decision.

"I think we should use Xehanort's plan. It's brilliant." Braig said whilst clapping his hands

"Yes! I agree, it's a genius plan." Even said making notes on what they were to do.

"Hey you stole my ide- oh I mean well done Xehanort, DUH HUH!" Aeleus had no choice but to agree since Xehanort was now aiming his shotgun at Aeleus's privates.

"Hey! Where's Dilan?" Ienzo asked looking around for their 'poetic' friend.

Squeal

The sound of a girls scream could be heard along with a loud snigger that came from Dilan. His sniggering was silenced by painful sounds and a lot of 'ouch!' coming from Dilan.

"Not again! The guy's a raging hormone factory." Xehanort knew well that Dilan could never resist looking up a girl's skirt, no matter how much he tried.

"Never mind him. We have plotting to do. Muahahahahahaha!" Everyone started to laugh evilly.

T: Well there it is, I hope it was good and funny. As usual reviews are welcome and appreciated.