I was scared of my feelings for him but his intentions petrified me, could he really be playing a game, wearing me down till I surrender just to walk away and leave me broken. Was that what was happening and I was to far gone to see it. My first instinct told me he was a player, could I really ignore my gut or had my gut been that wrong. Surely there was easier conquests than me and come to think, harder one's for that matter if a challenge was what he was after. He'd shown no signs of backing down, he didn't bore of me constantly retreating, his demeanour never changed, he ploughed on regardless of the amount of times I turned him down. It was like he was oblivious to the rejection and I was glad, his determination gave me hope. Hope that he was serious in his pursuit.

My wellbeing seemed to be in his thoughts on a regular basis, boisterous patients had him to answer to if they put one foot wrong as I treated them, he brought me coffee just when I needed it most, like he could read my mind or maybe I was just becoming transparent. He asked questions, weedled for information, ever curious about me and my past, my likes and dislikes.

Then there was his smile, the one that would widen when he caught me looking in his direction, he would enjoy what little attention I had to offer and what's more he'd left the ball firmly in my court. He didn't pressure or put demands on me, he was supportive and I'm left feeling...so unlike myself.

...

"Good morning Queen B." Jacob greeted as he walked from the department.

Connie shot an eye roll in his direction, only slightly unimpressed with yet another nickname for her. "Well, you would think so..." she grimaced. "...your shift has just finished."

He stood directly in her path making it harder for her to cut their meeting short. "I didn't think you were in today?" Jacob frowned at the thought of her giving up her long over due break. "I can stay if your short staffed...if it'd help."

Connie gave him a grateful smile, his sweetness not being lost on her, he wanted to help her and ease the load she carried for no other reason than to be kind.

"No...it's nothing like that...I'm not working...well...I think I'd rather be..." her smile disappeared. "...I've got meetings all morning..." she could feel herself start to ramble. "...thank you for the offer though." she tried to step around him to leave, flustered and wanting the chance to collect herself, but Jacob manuevered to remained in her path.

An awkward silence stretched out before Jacob spoke up. "Have dinner with me." He reached out to take her hand but at the slightest touch she pulled away, not because she wanted to but out of it habit.

Stuffing her scorched digits into her pockets she looked down finding the tarmac fascinating, her mind racing yet again, her heart and head pulling her in two different directions. Why couldn't she just say yes?

"Its fine..." he cleared his throat and stepped away. "...I'll see you round." The tone of his voice screamed of disappointment, his body language deflated as he walked away. He'd taken her silence as a no and why wouldn't he, she'd given him very little hope.

Connie couldn't move or speak from the turmoil clawing at her, there was so much she wanted to say, so many questions and uncertainties.

"Jacob!" She called after him panicked that she'd upset him, that was never her intention, as uncomfortable with the situation as she was, she didn't want things to stop. "JACOB!"

It was his turn to inspect the groundwork as he waited for her to catch him up. "Its not that I don't want to..." she sighed rubbing her forehead looking for some strength and the nerve to say what she needed.

"Connie it's fine...honestly...I'll see you tomorrow or whatever." his nonchalant response not a true representation of his hidden disappointment.

"Another time?" Connie wondered tentatively, looking for conformation that he understood and accepted her reservations.

"Sure." he nodded with only a shadow of a smile and went on his way.

She wanted to go after him, she wanted to grab hold of him, kiss him and say she'd changed her mind, that she was wrong. Tell him her insecurities and have him put her mind at rest but the fear of being hurt left her with no choice but to watch him leave.