Well this was a first for me, taking the risk on something, on someone my heart wanted. I wasn't using my head, I wasn't questioning, I was leaving myself open to a new kind of pain, the worst kind of pain.

I needed to see where this went, for my own sanity I needed to explore my feelings for this addictive man. With everything on the line I walked into his home with my eye wide open, braced for disappointment but hoping for more. I'm not sure what that more was yet...I liked him yes, I enjoyed his company, he seemed different to my past dalliance for that.

He put me at ease, I felt no need to be the tough clinical lead around him, he brought out a side of myself I hadn't seen in a long while. Thinking about it, it's been a lot longer than that since someone has shown interest in me as a person, not just my skills as a surgeon.

He had me thinking...of all the things I've never wanted or missed in my life...he made me want more...

...

Minutes ticked by unnoticed as Connie and Jacob conversed over their food, it was light hearted and comfortable. It felt natural.

Never had Connie imagined it could be like this, she'd always expected it to be laced with nerves and awkwardness but there was none. It was like they'd been friends for years and they were catching up after an absence. She told him stories from her past, some funny, some embarrassing and he did the same. She had no idea what made her want to share, it had never been her forte but for as long as they were talking their private time would stretch out and that was something they both wanted.

They laughed and they teased until the loud clap of thunder made them both jump.

"I should go it's getting late..." said Connie, her voice tinged with regret.

She slid from the stool at the breakfast bar, picked up her plate and coffee cup and deposited them by the sink where she leaned against the work top. "...thank you for tonight." she gave him a shy smile.

"You shouldn't go now...not with all that outside..." he watched as she looked out the small kitchen window at the rain pelting down against the glass. As if on cue a bright flash of lightening made the sky bright for a fraction of a second. "...one glass..." Jacob held up a bottle of red wine. "...just till the storm passes over." the hope in his voice was the final straw for Connie, she gave him a nod and walked past him into him living room, making herself at home, she toed off her heals by the coffee table and sat down on the sofa.

Jacob smiled when he walked in, the sight of Connie relaxing in his home, her feet bare and tucked up on the sofa like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Thanks..." she said accepting the glass he held out to her. "...you have a lovely home." she added as he sat beside her, their knees touching as he angled himself to her, his arm resting on the back of the chair.

"Not what you were expecting?" he queried.

"Everything about you has been unexpected." she admitted.

"I could say the same about you..." he grinned taking a sip from his glass before putting down on the table and settling back. "...beautiful." he stated.

"Excuse me?" Connie frowned at his seemingly off handed comment.

"When I saw you in resus for the first time...that was the first thought that came to mind...intelligent and beautiful."

Connie cast her gaze downwards, she found the wine in her glass fascinating. "Beauty is only skin deep." she murmured.

"That's true..." Jacob considered her, was he about to going to far, would his words cause her to run again. "...but the beauty you hide on the inside is what caught my attention..." he watched her blush and swallow hard. "...your strength...quick wit and playfulness..." she took a large gulp of her wine and he thought she was getting ready to leave. "...I've seen a vulnerability in you...compassion..." she drank again so he took the glass from her hand placing it next to his. "...you've shown me your infectious smile and I've heard your laughter-" "-why are you saying all this?" she interrupted.

"Because you need to hear it...you think I'm playing some sort of game, don't you? That I'm only after one thing...you don't understand why I'm pursuing you..." Jacob took her hand in his to still her fidgeting. "...I'm playing no game sweetcheeks...I want to spend time with you...I want to get to know all of you."

Connie couldn't believe what she was hearing, her feet itched to run, to protect herself, this couldn't be real. His words cut through to her soul, did he really see her, is that what he saw when he looked at her? She stood, not knowing what to do or how to react, self doubt was pushing her, telling her to get out now while she still could.

Soft hands on the sides of her jaw focused her vision, stilled her thoughts and blocked the destructive voice in her head.

For the first time she let herself see the truth in Jacobs eyes, it had been there all along.