The song in this is I Don't Care by Apocalyptica and I Still Love you by you know who. As always reviews are welcome.
Chapter 26
Homecoming
Jamie let himself into Jude's house the next morning with two covered plates in his hands. He found her in the kitchen, with an untouched cup of coffee in front of her. She looked up at the sound of his approach and gave him a half hearted smile. He placed a plate in front of her and uncovered it to reveal J shaped pancakes he had convinced his Nana to make for her.
"Nana said you needed a welcome home."
"Tell her I said thanks...but I'm not hungry..." She had been living on nothing but coffee for the last 2 days.
"If you don't eat, you'll hurt her feelings." He cajoled. She nodded hesitantly and broke a small piece off to nibble on. Jamie was worried about her. He had seen her go through breakups before and she had never been like this. He sat with her all morning, but she said few words, instead asking him about the radio station where they had hired him full time.
Later that morning the phone rang and Jude immediately grabbed it, surprising Jamie.
"Hello?" Jude was always afraid it would be Kwest with bad news. She had felt compelled to sneak in a phone call to him this morning, needing to know Tommy was still okay.
"Hey...We just pulled into G-Major...You want me to come by?"
"Yes. I need you..."
"We heard on the radio...I'll be there soon." He hung up and Jude felt a little better they were back. No matter how wonderful Jamie had been yesterday and this morning, there was no way he could understand. And there was absolutely no way she could explain it to him. It hurt too much.
As soon as Jude opened the door she fell into Spied's arms. He could give her something Jamie could not and she broke down again, crying into his shoulder. Spied had been there. Jamie looked on as jealousy ate him up. It couldn't possibly have been Spied she had been with could it? That made no sense. She had started to calm down when Spied realized Jamie was still staring at them.
"Why is Jamie glaring at me?" Spied asked close to Jude's ear a little confused. Jude looked over to see Jamie look away quickly.
"I dunno...I didn't tell him anything...about you know... Sadie told him I was with someone and it didn't end well. Tell Kyle and Wally no detes either 'k?" Spied nodded. He could understand why Jude wouldn't want to share her experiences with anyone, not even Jamie. She had essentially had an affair with a married man. No matter the motivation, it wasn't something to be proud of and it could not be explained to Jamie in a way that showed Jude and Tommy's true relationship. One of Jamie's flaws was how he viewed the world in black and white; there were no shades of gray for him. It was like how he had been the only dissenting vote about Jude going on the tour with Boyz Attack. He had accused her of selling out. He simply wouldn't understand, so no one would tell him.
The Real World Calls
Jude had been licking her wounds for 5 days now and Sadie came in to see her sister, staring blankly at the T.V. Sadie knew she had needed time to heal and had put Georgia off as long as possible, but it was time for her sister to remember her other love.
"Jude..." She looked up in surprise, not realizing Sadie was there. "You have to get dressed. Georgia said you have to come in today." Jude nodded, knowing it was coming. She had stayed up all last night to write a new song and found she wanted to record it too. No matter how many goodbyes she said to Tommy, there was always a kernel of hope that wanted to grow, because she loved him. No matter what, she had accepted she didn't want to get over him.
Jude sat in Georgia's office listening to her speak. It felt good to be back in this building and she felt normalcy return, at least a little.
"So how was it?" Georgia asked with a smile on her face, masking the concern she felt for the girl. Jude looked like she had lost weight, and hadn't been sleeping properly. She should have been bouncing off the walls having come back from such a huge experience.
"It was good...I learned a lot."
"I'm proud of you, you know?" Jude looked up at her in surprise. "Your album went Platinum." Jude mustered up a true smile.
"Seriously?!" Georgia nodded.
"Seriously. So are you ready to start your next success Super Star? We have some studio time set up tomorrow morning." Jude gave her a serious look as she prepared herself to just jump in.
"Do you have anything open now? I have a song I want to do." Georgia was a little taken aback, but nodded.
"Head over to Studio B and tell Roger what you need." Jude got up and walked out of her office. Georgia wondered what had happened on tour. She got a few answers when Jude came out of Studio B 4 hours later and she heard her first single for her sophomore album.
Jude stood in the sound booth and sang her heart out, because this was what was in her heart and she knew always would be. She wished she could have said those words to him. She wished not for the first time it could have been that easy. But nothing about them had ever been easy. She closed her eyes and let her first love fill her, taking away only the briefest hurt.
If we walk away now
There's no turning around
Gotta say what I mean
While you're here with me
I'm not sure I'll find words
To cover the hurt
That I see in your eyes
But I gotta try
I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
I still love you
Can you search down inside
Let go of your pride?
If I forget trying to win
And just let you in
I didn't travel this far
To watch it all fall apart
So give me your hand
And take a chance
I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
Riding with me as close as before
Whatever happens, I won't ask for more
Here in my heart from now 'til the end
Flame out or fly, we have to try again
I still
I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
Yeah, I still love you
If we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
I still love you
When E.J. And Georgia heard the song they were floored. It was so much softer than her previous work and filled with so much emotion. Georgia wasn't sure what to say as she looked at the girl who could not meet her eyes. Luckily E.J. Saved the day with one of her outrageous questions.
"It isn't about Chaz Blackburn is it?!" Georgia gave her a look and Jude simply looked amused. "What? We all saw the tabloids Jude." E.J. Said defensively. Jude shook her head a small smile on her lips.
"No. Chaz and I are just friends."
"Too bad...The publicity would have been great." E.J. Said dejected. "Are you sure you...?" Jude laughed and shook her head.
"Yes I'm sure."
"Everyone will be wondering who it's about."
"Let them..." Jude said with a maturity that surprised Georgia all over again. Gone was the girl who had been uncomfortable around the media. In her place was someone who would not care what people said.
"Good job Jude." Jude nodded and got out of the chair.
"Thanks. What time tomorrow?"
"10." She nodded and left.
Anger
Tommy had been in the hospital for twelve days now and he was scheduled to go home in two. Twelve days and not one phone call, not one acknowledgment that he had almost died. He had expected her to show up the next day and she hadn't. Then he had convinced himself she would be there the day after that, and then the day after that. Her face haunted his dreams every night. But Jude had forgotten him as soon as she had stepped out of that stadium. She didn't care and he found himself slightly numb from the hurt and anger it caused. He had not been the only liar in their relationship. If she had loved him, it couldn't have died this quickly. He reached for some paper and a pen with his good arm and started to write.
I try to make it through my life
In my way
There's you
I try to make it through these lies
And that's all I do
Just don't deny it
Don't try to fight this
And deal with it
And that's just part of it
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cuz I swear (I swear)
I don't care
I try to make you see my side
I always try to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do
I'm getting buried in this place
I got no room, you're in my face
Don't say anything
Just go away
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cuz I swear (I swear)
I don't care
I'm not changing everything
Cuz you won't be there for me
I'm not changing everything
Cuz you won't be there for me
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cuz I swear (I swear)
I don't care
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care (I don't care)
I don't care (I don't care)
Just go and leave this all behind
I don't care (I swear)
I don't care...at all
He tweaked the lyrics until he was satisfied. He had known exactly what to say to her. He sat back in the bed, proud of the song he had written. But it wasn't true, at least not yet, if ever. He couldn't stop caring and that was what hurt the most.
Different Girl
Jude was sitting with her knees drawn up facing Jamie on the couch when Sadie walked into the room. Sadie noticed black curls on Jude's back where her short concert tee had ridden up. Sadie reached over and pulled it up higher revealing Jude's tattoo before Jude could stop her.
"Hmm...sexy Jude." For just a moment Jude forgot.
"You should see it on his arm..." Sadie raised an eyebrow and pictured it. Bad boy with the tattoo. Matching tattoos...Jude's face got somber again as she realized what she had said. Sadie would probably never see him again, anymore than Jude would. Sadie turned to Jamie to diffuse the situation.
"Do you think it's sexy Jamie?" Jude turned so Jamie could see it more clearly. His mouth hung open and all he could utter was one syllable.
"Uh..." The sisters looked at each other and burst out laughing. At the time Jamie had thought it was damn hot, but later as he recalled the conversation he was upset by the implications. Jude had gotten a matching tattoo with the guy, no one would name, she had been seeing on tour. It had been that serious.
"What does it mean? It seems kind of random for you." Jude took Sadie's hand and folded her fingers until only the index was left out. She traced the start of the letter T and then the J. Jude looked at her sister, to see if she saw it now. Sadie's eyes widened.
"Oh..." Jamie's view had been blocked by Sadie's arm and he frowned, yet again kept out of the loop. He didn't understand the big secret about Jude's brief relationship and she wouldn't talk, no one would, not even Kyle or Wally when he had tried to grill them.