A/N: I'd like to say thank you to all the people who have taken the time to review this story. I normally hate when people start whining that they aren't getting enough reviews and are going to hold the story hostage. Honestly though, even I have thought about simply quitting posting on this website because the lack of feedback for a story I have worked hard on is very discouraging. I will however finish posting my story on here because those of you that have taken the time to tell me you like it deserve that.

The song used is Forever by Papa Roach

Chapter 27

Welcome To The Show

The Boyz Attack Asia tour, that had been postponed due to Tommy's accident, started 2 and 1/2 months later. When Tommy had left the hospital, Portia had been the one to take care of him and he had let her. As soon as he had finished the medication the doctor had given him, he started drinking. Portia was living in her own hell, but thought she deserved it. She tried to make him happy every way she knew how and at least their fighting had stopped, but Tommy's drinking only got worse. He wasn't angry with her anymore and she didn't know if it was a good sign, because he treated her with a tolerant indifferent affection instead. She went to Japan with him, hoping the change of scenery would cheer him up. He had always liked performing.

Postcard

Fan mail arrived at G-Major for Jude with amazing frequency now and E.J. usually took care of most of it, so when she handed Jude a postcard, Jude was surprised.

"I thought you said you were just friends with a certain boybander..." E.J. Said a little slyly. Jude's hand was a little shaky as she looked at the picture of Japanese cherry blossoms. She turned it quickly and read the brief words.

Wish you were here beautiful.

Missing your smile.

-Chaz

Jude had to laugh, although it wasn't funny. Of course it was Chaz, who else would it be. She found herself wondering as she always did, if he still thought of her.

Little Tommy

Jude and Jamie had been ready to see a movie one afternoon when Sadie decided to invite herself. The two girls outvoted Jamie and he wondered how he had wound up being one of the only men in a theater full of women. Okay so maybe he had watched an episode or two on T.V., but it only been for the sex scenes. He groaned as Sex and the City started. Jamie closed his eyes as an outdoor shower scene involving Samantha's neighbor started. He wanted to run away at this point.

"Ripped and well hung. I think I'm in love." Sadie said, eying the screen appreciatively.

"You think he's big?" Sadie thought Jude was kidding, but when she looked at her Jude looked curious.

"You don't?" Jude shrugged, having only had one guy to compare him to and Sadie eyes widened.

"Oh my god! You mean..." Sadie's mouth hung open. "You were a virgin!" She said a little too loudly, making everyone around either 'Shhhh!' them or listen more intently.

"A little louder Sadie. I don't think people in the next theater heard." Jude hissed.

'Sorry' Sadie mouthed. Jamie sunk lower in his chair, embarrassment warring with jealousy. His question of how involved Jude had gotten with the guy on tour was answered and he wasn't happy about it. Sadie managed to stay quiet through the rest of the movie, but as soon as they were in the lobby she had more questions for her sister.

"My first time hurt and he was smaller than that movie guy...You must have been crying." Sadie totally ignored Jamie walking beside them. He had been a fixture in their lives for such a longtime. Jude shook her head, remembering that night, how gentle he had been.

"Sadie Jamie's here..." Sadie rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on like he never did it with Patsy." Not that Jamie had been remotely Patsy's first.

"If I tell you will you at least shut up until we get home?" Sadie nodded. "It hurt for like a second okay? I was a little sore afterwards, but that was it...He was so... slow..."

"Slow...?" Sadie raised an eyebrow making the innuendo out of the word that it deserved. "Did you...you know...?" Jude groaned. Sadie had been trying to get details out of Jude forever, but Jude had stayed quiet until now.

"Yes! Now shut up Sadie." Jamie trailed behind them, wanting to sink into the floor.

Wrong Woman

Two weeks and it had been pure misery for Portia. Tommy was a mess when he wasn't performing, staying out late and doing God knows what with the groupies.

"Tommy what is wrong with you? You chose to stay with me. Why are you drinking all the time?" He laughed at her scornfully.

"I didn't choose you Portia. I took the easy road. I stayed for the money and fame. Your brother would have buried me alive if I had left with Jude." His eyes locked on hers as he tried to push her away once and for all. The only time he touched her now was when he was drunk.

"So who is it this time Tommy?" For him there was always a girl involved.

"It's always her Portia." Tommy said, so tired of this game they played.

"Why do you always do this to me Tommy?" She said broken now, as drops fell onto her clasped hands.

"Why do you always let me Portia?" His gaze stared at her tear filled ones. "Why do you insist on hanging onto someone who loves someone else?" She shook her head, unwilling to believe his words.

"You don't mean that..." She said in a small voice.

"Do you remember our wedding Portia?"

"Of course I do...Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I don't! That's how much it meant to me." He sighed. "Look Portia even before I met Jude I was never faithful to you. You're a good person and you deserve better than that..." Tommy was wrong on at least one point; she wasn't a good person. Guilt woke her up at night, but she had promised Darius she would never tell anyone what had really happened to Tommy's car.

Jude had called him a coward that last day and she had been right. He had been afraid to change his own life, not knowing if he could be more than just a player in a boy band. Instead of choosing what he really wanted, he had let the only person who got him, the only one he had ever loved, go. He asked for a divorce that night, unable to pretend for Portia or for Darius any longer. Portia flew back to Canada as soon as she was able to, finally accepting that there was nothing left between them to fight for.

Loneliness

Lin gripped the headboard bars as he shoved hard inside of her. His eyes looked through her, lost in some other place, as he moved above her. It was a good thing she liked it a little rough. Her lower muscles tightened in pleasure, wringing a cry out of her. He thrust against her a few more times before finding his own release. He rolled away, onto his back, his arm flung over his head.

"Are you always this vigorous?" She asked leaning on an elbow to look over at him. His haunted blue eyes met hers.

"Sorry..."

"Oh no worries darling. I like 'forceful'." She said in her lilting British accent. She was an international model visiting home in Hong Kong, that he had met at an industry party that night. She leaned over and reached for the CD on the nightstand. She inhaled two lines of white powder on it, before offering it to Tommy. He shook his head and watched her. She was a lovely girl, slender, tall and sleek with exotic almond eyes and silky long black hair. Yet he found he felt nothing as he admired her lithe body.

"So who is she?" She asked, startling him out of his thoughts. She was perceptive, he would give her that.

"What makes you think it isn't my wife?" She shook her head with a hard smile.

"You wouldn't be here fucking me if it was your wife..." He did not feel the need to answer her. She was just a stranger after all. "Lucky girl. The one who has your heart. Whoever she is." She said gazing down at his endowments. Her gaze made him feel slightly dirty. She slid her body down and took him in her mouth. His hands fisted in her hair as she worked her lips on him.

He felt hollow inside as she left his hotel room. None of the women he had lost himself in could replace her. He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his travel bag and lay it down next to the blank hotel stationary. He was finally ready to put lyrics to their song.

In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can't get over you
Can't get through to you
It's been a Helter Skelter romance from the start

Take these memories that are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds
By his own pair of scissors
He'll never forgive her
He'll never forgive her

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire
On a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl
Little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of a life
You're my heroine
In this moment I'm lonely
Fulfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs all these women
I'm never forgiving this broken heart of mine

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears
It is time to let you go
One last kiss
Before I go
Dry your tears
It is time to let you go

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss
Before I go
Dry your tears
It is time to let you go
One last kiss
Before I go
Dry your tears
It is time to let you go
One last kiss

Dawn had crested the skyscrapers, when he was finished. He wasn't done thinking about Jude yet and he wasn't sure he ever would be. She had left him empty and he didn't know how to reclaim what was his. He didn't know if he wanted to.