Croix sat on the fine leather of Chariot's couch. She had been Ursula's office, once or twice, but never on amicable terms. This would be the first time she had been welcomed in. Croix's eyes wandered over the room, and looked for the little signs of the person she had grown with. The room was very clean and organized, but looking at the mess of papers on her desk and the books randomly strewn about the bookshelf called back memories of stepping around Chariot's messes as Croix met in her room in secret so long ago. Ursula had a large presence in this office, but Chariot's touch was everywhere, if one knew where to look.

Ursula. Gah. Croix must've not been the only one with serious self-loathing for her to go from a pretty name like 'Chariot' to 'Ursula.'

Chariot had poured them two cups of tea. It almost seemed funny to Croix, how quaint it all was. Had someone told her ten years ago that the ever excitable Chariot would simply be sitting in a posh office enjoying tea, Croix might've laughed. But now, the subdued atmosphere was welcoming, if a bit foreign. A part of Croix still wanted to lie and act as though she didn't care, because she still feared talking to Chariot after everything that happened. But somehow, her mood had lifted since their awkward introduction yesterday, and Croix couldn't explain what prompted her to agree. But her heart still sung praises for her decision. Ever since Chariot's last show where Croix had left her side, this felt like an impossibility, but here they were. Croix and Chariot sitting across from each other, the latter thanking the former for coming and the former assuring the latter it was fine. Two one-time friends together again, enjoying a warm drink and each other's company.

It might've been nice, if it wasn't for Keith, who leaned against the wall having somehow acquired his own cup of tea. Both Croix and Chariot knew what they wanted to talk about, but Chariot was too shy to speak so openly in front of a stranger and Croix wished Keith would go suck an egg. Chariot bashfully turned to the officer with a polite request. "…I d-don't suppose I can ask for some privacy?"

Keith just shrugged and sipped his drink. "My sister's bisexual. I'm not going to judge."

"T-that's not really…!" Chariot let out a sigh. This wasn't an argument she was going to win. "Never mind. I suppose it's fine."

A few years ago, Croix might've blushed at the exchange. It felt too juvenile to be anything other than annoyed at it now. Chariot's cheeks still seemed to match her hair, despite the same amount of time passing for her. Croix chose not to think too deeply on it.

"Why become a teacher anyway?" Croix asked her. She wasn't sure where the question came from, but felt the need to ask it all the same. Chariot blinked in surprise, and fondly gazed down into her tea, a tender expression forming on her face.

"When I was Shiny Chariot, I liked making children smile. As a professor, I still get to do that, but now it's not just anonymous fans. I can put faces and names to the children I helped. It's less exciting than performing, but I think it's more rewarding. I feel like I can make a real difference in these girls' lives."

A part of Croix still found that to be much too childish a dream, but then again, she had found a strange fondness for the bunch of kids approaching her as of late. "You do have an odd collection of kids here. They're…" She searched for the right word. "…very forgiving. You all are. I just…don't get it really."

She smiled at her, the same genuine smile she had loved all those years ago. "You're not as bad as you think you are, Croix."

Croix doubted that immensely. "But…how can you look past everything I did?"

"Well…I can't forgive everything, Croix. I can look past all the things you did to me, all the things you said, but I can't forgive you for hurting Akko. I think you need to talk to her yourself."

"Why?"

"Why? Because Akko's just a little girl. She doesn't deserve to be caught up in-"

"Nonono, not that." Croix cut her off. "Why can you look past everything I did to you?"

Chariot looked stricken, as her gaze fell. "…We were friends once, Croix. More than friends. I haven't forgotten."

"I…I haven't forgotten either." Croix admitted. "But...We can't go back to that. You have to know that."

An uncomfortable silence weighed over the room, leaving Croix alone with her guilt once more. It seemed so much more palpable now, that Chariot was in front of her. It hurt to think of what they had been to each other. It hurt so much to think of how pure they had been and how tainted the water had become. To think that so long ago, they had loved one another in secret. It was easier to keep things locked up and hidden. If no one knew how you really felt, no one could judge you for the emotions you couldn't help but feel.

But when her destiny she had been looking towards her whole life, her grand destiny to be the witch who opened the Triskellion and ushered in a new age of magic, had been stolen by Chariot, there was no one Croix could turn to. They long believed they could get by with no one but each other, but when one of them became a problem, there was no one who could've guided them or offered comfort, not without exposing themselves. Chariot apologized, in tears, for being chosen over Croix, but it sounded hollow to Croix's ears. No matter how much she bawled, she was still holding the Claiomh Solais, and Croix still could not touch it. Croix lost her faith in Chariot that day, and she was left alone with her dark impulses, until they festered and multiplied until they consumed her mind entirely.

Chariot broke the silence first. "…Do you remember, what it was like before I found the Shiny Rod? It all seemed so simple then. I remember we were so worried about what people would think if we got caught together."

A memory sprung up the deep recesses of Croix's mind. "Didn't I once shove you into a broom closet because someone was coming when we were holding hands or something?"

Chariot's smile spread ear to ear. "So you do remember!"

Croix couldn't help but smile back, fondly recalling their past. "You hit me with a wet mop at me as soon as I opened the door. I didn't forget."

Chariot giggled, setting down her tea so it wouldn't spill. "You didn't even warn me, you just saw someone coming and panicked. I remember I made you buy me ice cream as an apology."

Croix felt herself laugh, and how long it had been since she had laughed so sincerely. "Oh yeah, that's right! I was going to buy you ice cream anyway, because you were always asking."

"Ha! So you didn't even learn your lesson, then!"

"I used to learn, but you kept distracting me from my studies!"

"Please! You were the one who kept asking me out!"

They laughed and laughed as their tea grew colder. For a moment, they didn't have a care in the world as they reveled in their awkward years. It felt good to laugh again, to remember those happier times, even if they had been so utterly embarrassing as only a teenage crush can be. Eventually their mirth faded from laughter to soft giggles to silence as they caught their breaths. And eventually, the silence remained, as they collectively realized how long ago it had really been.

"…What happened to us, Croix?"

Croix didn't need long to respond. She had spent so many sleepless nights asking herself the same question. So much had happened. Too much. As she spent long agonizing hours alone, regretting so many emotions, there had been so much she wanted to say. Too much. In the end, there was only one answer that seemed satisfying enough. "I guess we just grew up a bit too fast. Too much has changed."

"…Maybe so." Chariot reached over, and gently laid her hand atop of Croix's. A shiver ran down her spine. "But…that doesn't mean everything has to change. Even if it's not the same, things can still get better. I still believe in you, Croix."

How many nights had Croix dreamed of her touch? It had been too long since she felt Chariot's hand on hers. Had Croix truly been too hard on herself? Chariot was one of the kindest and most genuine people she had ever known, and if she believed she could change, then...

No, Croix decided, pulling her hand away. It hadn't been nearly long enough. "I…I have to go." Croix stood quickly, and began making her way to the door. From behind her, Keith scrambled to put down his cup and catch up with her. "I've spent too much time already."

Chariot looked as though she'd been struck, and Croix tried not to let it bother her. "Oh. I see. Then…I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Goodbye, Chariot." Croix let herself out of the door and Chariot's life once more.

That had been another mistake in an ever growing list of her mistakes. Hadn't Croix already decided it was better to avoid her? Why subject herself to that? Croix let out a frustrated growl as she made her way back to the library, Keith trailing behind her, offering her empty words she didn't even listen to. It made little difference now. Croix needed to finish this and get out of Chariot's life. For good. It was only the third day of her probation, and already Croix couldn't help but feel a rising desire to be locked back up in Solis, where no one would bother her. It was easier that way, and much simpler. Croix wilted away in solitude for her deeds as she deserved, Chariot and her kids lived the happy lives they deserved. Everyone gets their comeuppance.

But no, as appealing as it seemed, it was not an option yet. She still needed to find the cure. The cure was everything. It was the singular most important thing in her life, and she couldn't abandon it. It was Croix's only chance to…do what, exactly? Was there even life for her after she found the cure?

What was left?Depression was easy. Grief was an old friend. It was familiar and safe. But everyone believed there was more for her to experience. Croix couldn't keep Jasminka's words from her mind.

"You don't…want people to hate you, do you?"

Obviously Croix deserved it, considering all she had done. But no one seemed to agree with her, which was just confusing. If she wasn't just an evil, cruel, and vengeful woman, then Croix didn't know where to go. She spent a decade stewing in her hate, so how could she just…drop it?

What happens after she cures Chariot? Was that her redemption? Was redemption even allowed to her? Croix wasn't sure, and she couldn't let herself want to be redeemed until she was sure. She spent too long wanting things that were held beyond her grasp. She wanted to hold Chariot close, but was afraid of what people would think of two high school girls in love. She wanted to be chosen, but her destiny was given to someone else. She wanted revenge, but watched as her plans unraveled before her. She wanted to prove herself but could do nothing but let someone clean up her disaster. She didn't want to be redeemed. She couldn't want it.

God damn it all, she needed to be right about something, and this was something she could control. Chariot and her favorite little students were wrong about her, and they'd see that soon enough. Croix had enough to analyze without trying to clean the mess of her own psyche. She was an engineer, not a miracle worker. She'd cure Chariot, and then she was out of her life forever. Plain and simple.

Burying her thoughts, she made her way to the private corner where she and Keith always sat. The section of the library Croix used was fairly secluded, as far as public libraries can really get. Given how advanced the books were over in this section, it had very low traffic. Which is probably why, not far from their little corner, a student was pacing back and forth, muttering something to herself. Croix recognized a pattern when it laid out in front of her, and frankly this was one she could do without. Once again, near her corner of the library prowled one of the kids that had gotten involved with Croix's scheme eight months ago. It wasn't the one she wanted to avoid, but if the trend continued, it was only a matter of time before Croix crossed paths with her again.

Lotte had bright hair and freckles, and wore large glasses and a stressed look on her face. Croix felt something at seeing how frazzled the girl was, but she dismissed it quickly. She didn't need to get involved, not this time. She'd just sit down and ignore her. Croix knew how to be a bad person. She was good at being bad. Ignoring the petty problems of a teenage girl would be easy.

Lotte continued to pace unaware as Croix sat down with her textbook. Here was Croix, as callous and indifferent to others as she always was. Croix wasn't even listening to Lotte's mumbling, and she definitely didn't hear her saying things under breath along the lines of "No, that'd never work" and "No, don't be stupid, I can't do that." And if she did hear her beating herself up, then whatever. It wasn't like Lotte was her kid. Lotte probably hated her, and Croix probably deserved it. So Croix definitely did not see her and definitely did not hear her.

…C'mon, couldn't she just be a supervillain or a depressed egomaniac or something? When the hell did she start caring about this sort of thing?

Whatever. For the sake of her research. If she helped Lotte, then Croix would regain her privacy. That was the important thing. She couldn't just work with this kid working grooves into the floorboards ten feet from her. It was distracting and she needed to concentrate. Burying the thoughts that sprung up to point out to her that, yeah, this was a very bad idea, Croix instead turned to the younger girl and spoke. "Hey. Lotte."

"AAGH!" Lotte shrieked, snapped out of her thoughts. Her eyes were wide as saucers as she stammered out, "P-P-Professor Croix! I d-d-didn't see…!"

"I'm not a professor, Lotte." Croix cut off her confused rambling. "I was fired, remember?"

"Y-yeah! I remember! I just…! I, um…! D-did you call my name, or…?" This was another prime opportunity to just say no, and go back to her own devices. Play it off as a greeting. She didn't want to help Lotte, because Croix wasn't even someone who could help herself.

"Any reason you're all wigged out over there?"

Lotte looked unsure if she should answer, and some part of Croix felt relieved that at least someone had enough of a head on them to not trust her implicitly. "…why do you want to know that, Pr- Croix?"

Wasn't that the question of her life? She already accepted she cared about Chariot's opinion of her, and now spent a very large amount of her free time agonizing over it. Why should she multiply that by allowing these girls into her life? "…I'm just here for a week to do research. I figured if you're gonna pace there, I should at least ask."

"…Do you actually want to help me Prof- sorry, I mean Croix? I can't get used to this." She shook her head, and turned back to Croix. "B-but if you're serious about helping me…you could probably keep a secret better than Akko…" She took a deep breath. Evidently, she was not heeding the warning of not trusting Croix. "O-okay. Um! So there's…there's a girl."

Oh boy. It was going to be one of those things. From how stressed out she seemed and how utterly red her cheeks were, Croix ventured to guess this was Lotte's first crush. Which honestly?

Was just adorable. "Ah." Croix smiled. "Is she cute?"

"Wh-! Profes-I mean! Croix!" Lotte squeaked out. "D-don't just…! I d-do think she's…um…c-cute, but I can't just say that!" Lotte's cheeks were already red, but somehow they became even more so. Had things been this awkward for her when she had dated Chariot?

"Why exactly can't you?" Croix felt her smile growing.

"B-because it's embarrassing! I can't just w-walk into the room and call her cute to her f-face!I'll definitely die!"

This was another instance of Croix proving herself to be a bad person. Here she was, flustering a teenage girl about her first crush because Croix found it amusing. It was like watching a kitten get stuck in a cardboard box. "Well that's no good, then, unless she's into necrophilia. How do you plan to confess to your little girlfriend then?"

Lotte flinched at the word girlfriend, but hid it behind a shy smile. "I…had a plan, actually! So…um! Talking to her w-would be really embarrassing. But I…um…you know Night Fall? The romance books about Belle and Edgar?" She definitely didn't, but let Lotte ramble unimpeded. "I...I thought maybe I could use that for advice! Edgar always seemed so confident, and I'm…not. So I thought if I used his lines, I could talk to her!"

Lotte pulled out a small black book and handed it to Croix. The novel, Night Fall, was filled with post-it notes marking pages and paragraphs. The young girl pointed out one particular note that read 'Cool line?' and Croix opened to the page and began reading the passage it pointed to.

'Edgar pinned Belle to the wall. "Being away from you kills me" he said, his eyes filled with lust, the sweat glistening off his bare chest. "When I'm apart from you, I feel like I'm dying. But being near you hurts me so much too. You're killing me because I love you too much. When I'm with you, I want to throw myself off a cliff and die." Belle gasped out loud. It was the most romantic thing that anyone had ever said to her.'

What in the world?

"…Uh-huh." Croix muttered as she finished the paragraph. Was this what kids read nowadays? This shirtless smut? Unbelievable. What happened to the romance novels they had when she was in school, where everyone had soulmates and spent the book pining for their forbidden loves? This new stuff was just weird. "That'd…certainly leave an impression."

"I-it…! I know it's not for everyone, but considering it's Su-!" Lotte coughed. "Considering who I'm thinking of, I think she'd like it! S-she likes morbid things. I think she'd think it was a cool line!"

Croix wondered, briefly, if Lotte had forgotten that scribbled onto one the post-it notes was Sucy's name, with a little heart next to it. This was too much. If she flipped through this and found another scribble with their initials written together, Croix would absolutely melt.

"So what?" Croix asked her, trying to keep a straight face. "You're just going to seduce her with book lines?"

"Do…you not think it's a good idea?" Lotte deflated. Croix didn't say anything, as she flipped through the bizarre book, only catching the barest glimpses of the plot. The word 'lust' kept popping up as well as 'nihilism', and she was pretty sure they talked to Archduke Franz Ferdinand at one point. And something about werewolv- Oh god, no way! There actually was a note in here that said 'L J+S M'! Croix had to pretend to cough to keep from making an embarrassing noise. This was so stupidly precious.

"Heheh, i-it's a bit…" Come on, don't laugh at the teenage girl, that was cruel even for her. "…heavy for a confession, Lotte. Not to mention sort of weird."

"O-oh." She sighed, looking down at her feet. "B-but if I don't confess like this, how am I supposed to do it?" Lotte argued. "I'm...people call me invisible. I don't know how to do this, but Night Fall is a huge romance book. Edgar is always really brave and confident and everyone notices him. If I can just…pretend to be like someone like Edgar, she'll definitely like me."

Croix still wasn't sure what inspired her to bother with these sort of problems, but in the end, there was no way she could let her leave to quote this weird crap to her crush. "Look, I'm certainly not the person to ask, but I can tell you you'll regret it if you just keep dancing around how you feel. It's so easy at first to just not have to deal with any of it. You can just play everything off or lie and never have to look back." Croix let out a sigh through her nose.

"It doesn't work. It never does. You like this girl? Go tell her. Don't waste your time trying to pretend you feel one way or tricking her into feeling another."

"B-but…it's really embarrassing…I'm too shy to talk to her like that…what if it doesn't work?"

"Things like this didn't work out for me, and I can tell you, it's better to have them know the real you instead of being in love with some idealized version of yourself." Croix handed the book back to Lotte. "You understand?"

"…I guess. Y-yeah. That makes sense…but…" Lotte's face suddenly paled as she looked to the page the book was open at. "You…y-you didn't read any of these notes, r-right?"

Croix could only smile wryly. "If it makes you feel any better, I already talked to Sucy, and I doubt she's coming back to the library."

"Oh god…" Lotte hid her face behind the book. "This is the most embarrassing day of my life…"

"Might as well go tell her now then, since you're already pre-embarrassed."

"I can't just…!" Lotte squeaked. "I can't just go tell Sucy now! I-if I said something like that to her face, I'll die!"

God, it was like pretending to throw a tennis ball and watching as the puppy runs after it. It was mean, but it was a delight to see unfold. "I thought she liked morbid things."

"T-that's not…! Um!" Lotte looked at a loss for words. "She…I…um! I…m-maybe could try it…I just…" She suddenly buried her face into her book, sending several post-it notes fluttering to the ground.

"This is the worst…" She murmured. "…Do you think Sucy would really notice me if I was just…myself? I want her to like me, but…I don't know how to do this."

"No one knows how to do these things, Lotte. You're always winging it. Think of it this way. If you're brave enough to tell someone like me all this, you can tell this girl how you feel."

Lotte looked unconvinced, but nodded her head anyway. With her face as crimson as could be, she retreated from the library to go about her task. Croix shook her head with a smile forming on her face. She hoped the kid figured things out with her crush. She seemed like a cute kid, and she deserved to get a better hand than Croix had been dealt. To be young, stupid, and in love again…

…Crap, she has wasted a lot of research time today. Muttering insults to herself, Croix opened the book and got to work. Resuming her earlier task of cross-referencing magical curses to one another, her notebook gradually filled with medical facts over the course of the hours. By the time the sun set and the librarians began to get ready to close, Croix bitterly noted she had not had any major breakthroughs today. She made progress, to be sure, but this was not the cure Chariot needed. It still lay just beyond her grasp. She would have to wait another twelve hours for the library to open in the morning again, so she could begin anew and find that which she was missing. She had to be close by now. Had to be.

It was dark out by the time Croix and Keith prepared to depart for the night once more. As Keith made his final preparations to his broom, he turned to ask his charge a question.

"Are you sure you're qualified to give dating advice?"

"Do as I say, not as I do." She quoted sagely, not looking up at him. "All I know is Lotte shouldn't have to go through what I did."

Keith studied her a long moment.

"…Hmm. That's quite caring of you, Meridies."

He watched as Croix absent-mindedly flipped through her notebook once more. Eight months, they had tried to break through to her in Solis. She had been prone to falling into brief but frequent depressive episodes. She could disassociate for hours at a time as she reveled in her guilt. Eight months they had done what they could when she had refused treatment. It was only yesterday she had done it again, put so close to her emotional triggers. Luna Nova was a dangerous environment for her. Just today, she had encountered Chariot once more, and was primed and ready to fall apart once more.

Eight months she did, when she thought of Chariot. Today she had not.

It was too early to get any hopes up, so Keith quashed the thoughts in his head. There was only so much paperwork he could do as he monitored Meridies' case, but tomorrow, he'd have to really pay attention. Either for more signs of recovery, or an impending explosion.

A.N. This chapter ended up getting edited a lot more than others. It's longer than I thought, but it still ended up being a lot less than what I wanted if that makes sense…Would you believe we're at the halfway point? 3 girls left, plus whoever the 8th chapter is about.

But next is "Diana"! The one I know you all were waiting for! As Croix deals with the fallout from Chariot, a certain prodigy decides to head to library and let Croix know just what's on her mind.

(if your name is Ursula I'm sorry, please forgive Croix she's French, it's just how she is…and if your name is Keith I'm sorry I've been using your name as a joke please forgive me.)