Disclaimer: You know the drill.
It's the chapter you've all been waiting for... probably, anyway.
NTMR:
-Lisa: Hehe, yes, there is definitely something... "different" coming up. This story is quite similar to the episode, as it's supposed to be an alternative to it, not a completely different story, but I guess I can see where you're coming from.
Chapter 19: Not Quite Human
"I should have thought of it before." John said, avoiding anyone's eyes as he held out the watch. "I can give them this. Just the watch. Then they can leave and I can stay as I am!"
"You can't do that!" Martha told him firmly, waving er arms in frustration.
"If they want the Doctor, they can have him." he shook the watch distastefully.
"He'll never let you do it. And neither will we." Martha said stubbornly.
"If they get what they want, then-then -"
"Then it all ends in destruction." Rose spoke hoarsely. "John, you know what'd happen." she laughed bitterly. "Those things would live forever. War across the stars." she tilted her head to the side and spoke softer. "We've done it all before. Years ago and years to come. You'd never let that happen. Not after all you've done, not after all you've seen."
He looked up. "How do you know? How could you? I've known you all of two months, perhaps longer, and... I-I don't even know myself! I had the accident, remember?"
"There was no accident, John." Martha told him. "We made it up. It was just a story."
"Like me?" John asked quickly, and Martha had no response. His lip began to quiver with fear and rage "Is-Is that all I am? Really, is that what you all think of me? Am I just some thing, some person; not quite this-this Doctor, but I'll do until the real thing comes back?" Martha looked at the floor guiltily, and Rose felt her face glow a pale red.
"Martha, Kate, can you leave us alone, please?" Rose asked, keeping her eyes on John. Kate trudged obidiently out of the cottage, but Martha was reluctant to leave. Rose shot her a glance that seemed to convince her otherwise, and she slowly followed Kate out of the building amongst the falling asteroids from the inky-black sky.
They sat down in silence on a cold, damp bench outside the house, and Kate began to sob quietly. Martha looked at her sorrowfully, and wrapped her arms around the stranger, hoping it would take away some of her own fear.
Inside the house, Rose looked sternly at John until his eyes met hers. His lip trembled again weakly, and his eyes watered with fresh tears. He couldn't help but think he was so unlike the man she wanted.
"I-I don't know what to say." he began uneasily, and Rose walked over to him by the sofa. "I don't know what to think." He looked at Rose, confusion and helplessness written over his face. "If-If you're Rose, the Doctor's Rose, and I'm really the Doctor..." he trailed off, rubbing his temple. "He loves you." he told her truthfully. "He never told you that. Never."
Rose didn't speak, wanting John to continue. "How can I be him?" he asked her. "How can I turn back into him, with his loneliness, and his rage? And his broken heart?" Tears slid down his face, and Rose wiped them away, conscious of those sliding down her own cheeks as she did so.
"He did." she said quietly, nodding, but John shook his head. "He never said it, but I knew." she amended, stroking his cheek. "Things... happened. You might not remember, but we did things... We both knew."
They both stood in silence for a moment, listening to the falling flames outside the house, studying each other's faces.
"If I could do this instead of you," Rose said, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Then I would."
John shook his head again, holding her hand on his cheek when she made to pull away. "I wouldn't let you." he told her. "He wouldn't let you."
"I wanted us to -" Rose began, then saw John's sorrowful expression and broke off. "No, that ain't important."
John prised her hand away from his face and took it in his hand. "He won't love you." he said stubbornly. "Not like I do. Not ever." Rose stifled a sob. "He can't, and he knows it. He won't ever let himself love. And even if he did, no one would love you more than me."
This time, Rose let her sob out, momentarily forgetting to stay strong for her Doctor. "Why does it have to be so difficult?" she whispered, wrapping her other hand around hers and John's. "When you left - When I was left here, I thought I'd never love again. And then you came back, and everything changed." she said through her sobs. "And now you have to go."
"He's sorry, Rose." John told her kindly. "He never wanted you to go."
For a moment, Rose looked up into John's creamy, hazel eyes, and she could almost see the Doctor's dark, hollow ones looking back. But then she blinked, and all she could see was John.
"Let me see this." Rose sniffed, braking her contact with John to take the watch from the hand dangling uselessly by his side. "Damn thing." she uttered. "Can't even hear it. It's nothin' to me."
John reached up and clasped her hand in his. The cold metal of the watch suddenly burned so hot, and the lovers' minds exploded with memories from the future.
They're out in a restaurant, eating and talking. They laugh, and the world echoes it around them, forever.
They're standing together outside a church with confetti streaming down upon them. Rose lifts her pure, white veil and kisses John passionately, and he returns the gesture with an ecstatic grin.
Then they're in a hospital, and Rose is cradling a baby. John kisses her forehead and they smile.
Now John, old and withered, lies in a warm bed in a house in the country, with Rose by his side, always clutching his hand.
"They're all safe, aren't they?" he asks her hoarsely, his voice scratching with every word. "The children, the grandchildren? Everyone's safe?"
"Everyone's safe." Rose tells him softly. "They all send their love, John."
"It's done." he whispers, lying back in peace, and closing is eyes. "Thank you."
John and Rose gasped simultaneously and were brought back to the cold, bleak night.
"D-Did you see?" John asked Rose, and she nodded sadly.
"He has such adventures, but he could never have a life that." she shook her head.
"And yet, I could!" John told her, looking down at the watch. In that second, the visions clouded Rose's mind, banishing all of her duties to the Doctor away, and she finally saw John for what they could be.
"I don't want you to leave me." Rose sobbed suddenly, her eyes wide with fear of being alone once more. "I want you! I want John! My John..."
John took her face in his hands. "Rose..." he began, but couldn't find the words he needed.
"What are you gonna do?" she asked, and he looked back up, but didn't answer. Suddenly, Martha ran into the house with Kate.
"There coming closer!" she cried. "John, you've got to go!"
John looked at her with terror clear on his face, then back to Rose. "I-I can't." he said, afraid. Rose didn't reply. "You... you don't want me to?" he asked hopefully.
"You've got to." Martha told him harshly, and John shot her a cold look.
"Martha's right." Rose told him, avoiding his eyes, her heart braking with every word. "Maybe the Doctor can't offer me all that you can, but that won't save the world."
"And that's what the Doctor will do?" he asked her. "Go around protecting people, saving other worlds, with no thought to himself? With people dying for him? With no love, no family?"
Rose nodded. "That's the way it's gotta be." she told him regretfully, and paused. "I'm not gonna leave you." she insisted. "If we can get home, I'm comin' with you."
Martha backed into the corner of the room sadly, but neither Rose nor John noticed her. They were brought back to reality as they were thrown across the room; glass shattered in the windows and the curtains blew out in the wind as a lump of burning rock landed outside the cottage. Rose and John broke apart with shock and Rose returned to her Torchwood persona.
"Everyone out!" She cried professionally, and everyone ran from the cottage to wherever the asteroids had not yet fallen - back to the TARDIS.
After minutes of running from the cottage after Rose, they hid down behind the rock once more, supposedly safe for at least a few minutes. Martha and Kate had gone a different way when running from the house, and so it was only Rose and John who hid behind the plaque.
The sound of the falling rocks was ten times louder in the wide open space of the city, but Rose and John ignored it as they watched the TARDIS, guarded by the sinister looking plastic mannequins.
"D'you remember the living plastic?" Rose asked him gently. He nodded.
"First time we met." he confirmed with a smile, then looked back to the mannequins, and it vanished. "You don't think they're -"
"Nah." Rose dismissed, ignoring her rapid pulse and braking heart. "They're just soldiers. Activated by the Family." A lump rose in her throat. "D'you think... d'you think Jamie'll ever come back?" she asked, not able to hold the tears in this time.
John shrugged sorrowfully. Rose looked at him strangely, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't think of the words.
"Should I go?" John asked her. "Is it the right thing to do?"
Rose nodded. "John, I'm sorry." she said sadly. "I'm so, so sorry. But... I think you need to."
He nodded slowly, breathing in and out deeply.
- - - - - - -
Kate and Martha ran as fast as they could through the forest, but soon they realised they were no longer in the company of Rose or John. Martha felt her heart sink in guilt, and brake into a million shards as she thought of what was to come.
They walked aimlessly through the forest, knowing there was nothing more they could do for John or Rose, and hoping against all hope that the Doctor would shine out again and save the day.
- - - - - - -
"We'll blast them into dust!" Jeffrey said excitedly, studying the panel on the green wall of the spaceship as the burning rocks fell outside."Then fuse the dust into glass, then shatter them all over again!"
His Family joined him, and they all watched as the burning embers were cast across the sky, waiting for the man who would change their lives forever.
There was a loud twang of metal from the entrance to the ship. The Family turned around to study the green glowing craft, and all smirked and smiled when they saw the source.
John stumbled clumsily into the room. He knocked against the side of the ship as he tripped over his feet, and fell to the floor with a thud, accidentally pressing down on severalinconspicuous switches and buttons on the wall.
"Just-Just stop the bombardment." he stuttered, frightened, flinching at the bangs from outside in the dark."That's all I'm asking. I-I'll do anything you want, just stop."
"Say please." Helena smiled, ravishing the moments.
"P-Please." John said immediately.
Suzie turned and flicked a large switch on the wall. A hissing noise filled the room and John looked around himself, terrified, but a moment later, Suzie frowned.
"Wait a minute," she said, and sniffed loudly. "He's still human." she said, annoyed.
"Look. Now I can't-I can't pretend to understand, not for a second, but I-I want you to know that I'm innocent in all of this." John said, his voice trembling as he tried to stand, pulling on levers and switches but neither noticing nor caring."He made me John Smith. It's not like I had any control over it."
"He didn't just make himself human, he made himself an idiot." Jeffrey said with amusement.
"Same thing, isn't it?" Jamie asked, bored.
"I don't care about this Doctor and your family, I-I just want you to go." he said, oblivious to their voices as he fell with terror against the walls covered in buttons."So, I've made my choice." he held out the watch for one of them to take."Y-You can have him. Just take it, please! Take him away."
He thrust his arm forward encouragingly, and Helena reached out for it greedily. But instead, Jamie bounded forward and took the watch, and Helena turned and grabbed John by the lapels of his suit.
"At last." Jamie whispered at the watch, holding it carefully in his hands as if the slightest touch could brake it.
"Don't think that saved your life." Helena snarled at John, and she pushed him away into the wall, where he reached out and grabbed at the levers to support himself, though he still fell to the floor.
"Family of Mine," Jamie said proudly, his eyes glinting like a magpie, just finding its greatest treasure."Now we shall have the lives of a Time Lord."
He breathed out deeply, and pressed on the top of the watch with such delicacy you wouldn't believe him to be an alien. The four hostile creatures breathed in deeply, all closing their eyes, but opened them again when nothing happened.
There was no golden glow flowing from the watch, no bright wisps of glittery light to illuminate the dark interior of the spaceship.
"It's empty!" he cried angrily, and Suzie turned to John, who was still leaning on the wall, trying to back away further as if afraid the people might explode.
"Well, w-where's it gone?" John asked, astounded. "Does this mean I-I can go back to Rose? Can I leave?"
"You tell me." Jamie told him firmly, and threw the watch to the cowering man, who caught in with one hand and stood up straight with a groan.
"Oh," he began airily,"I think the explanation might be you've been fooled by a simple olfactory misdirection; little bit like ventriloquism of the nose." he grinned, walking forward towards the Family."It's an elementary trick in certain parts of the galaxy." he reached inside his jacket and placed his black rimmed glasses on his nose, then pushed carelessly past Suzie to get to the screen.
"But it has got to be said," he continued with a grimace, studying the statistics on the screen."I don't like the looks of that hydroconometre. It seems to be indicating you've got energy feedback all the way through the retro-stabilisers feeding back into the primary heat converter." He laughed briefly, then breathed in sharply, whistling through his teeth as a result.
"'Cause if there's one thing you shouldn't have done, you shouldn't have let me press all those buttons. But, in fairness, I will give you one word of advice." The man backed away from the four people, edging closer to the door. "Run!"
Jamie stared at him, confused, lost, then Suzie caught on. Her eyes widened with shock and horror, and she studied the Doctor as if hoping she was wrong. "Get out!" she screamed to her Family. "Get out!"
The man in front of them, his name lost, meaningless, raised his eyebrows once, his mouth stretching up in to a teasing smirk. Then he turned on his heel and ran out of the ship, into the burning black night, faster than he'd run in... Ooh, two and a half months?
Guess what? THE DOCTOR'S BACK! Yay!