Disclaimer: Not in a hundred trillion years. Though, if it's any consolation, no one else will own it then, either.
Okay, now... you're either going to love it, or hate it. I honestly have no idea which one you'll all be. My best friend loved it, whereas I wasn't too sure. But she convinced me it was a good idea, so here we go. (Thanks Braceface_freak!)
Hey, I'm getting good at this whole updating thing now. Less than two days' wait! Yay!
NTMR:
-Lisa: God, you're giving me loads to think about! Thanks! Okay, first, the reason John's pretty much the same to the John in HN/FoB is because, well, he's supposed to be. He's the same man, just in different circumstances, and I don't think two and a half months is long enough to change what someone could be. And also, (up to this point, anyway) he didn't believe that Rose was real and telling the truth, so he wouldn't have felt any differently towards her. Second, in my opinion, I don't think it would have been a completely different story if John came to Torchwood instead of 1913. I think that 1913 was a love story, and this is still a love story. Except, in this story, the object of John's affections already knows him :P Thanks for your opinion though! I really appreciate the help! And this chapter is definitely not like the episode (except the first bit), since he's now the Doctor and all. Yay!
Chapter 20: Not Quite A Brother
"He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing. The fury of the Time Lord.
"And then we discovered why. Why this Doctor, who had fought with Gods and Demons, why he'd run away from us and hidden. He was being kind."
"He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains, forged in the heart of a dwarf star."
The form of Jeffrey Wilson, once a human being, writhed in chains, struglling to no avail. The cold metal strangled his arms, his legs, his neck, but still the Doctor stood, never moving, never speaking. The heavy door closed in front of him, and the man's screams were heard no more through the walls of the ancient ship.
"He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy, to be imprisoned there... forever."
Suzie Costello's fighting body was pulled further and further away, out of the blue doors toward the fiery inferno blazing behind her. She screamed into the distance as gravity took hold and her limbs were stretched down, but no voice was heard, and her arms flailed out uselessly in front of her. Again, the Doctor watched, with no mercy, no emotion.
"He still visits my older sister, once a year, every year."
Helena Price, her body usually straight with pride and attitude, cowered in the corner of the frame, her eyes frightened and fearful.
"I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is - can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror, every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you, just for a second, that's her. That's always her."
The Doctor watched her carefully as she peeked out of the corner of the mirror, studying him with fear and awe.
"As for me, I was suspended in time. And the Doctor put me to work, standing over the walls of England, as their protector."
The miniature body of Jamie Tyler was tied onto a board, his clothes black as night, his face frozen still. The Doctor surveyed him sadly, then walked around the statue across the rooftop. Soldiers bowed their heads graciously as he exited the roof, and he walked down the flights of stairs in silence. He walked out of the Torchwood Tower with sorrow.
"We wanted to live forever, so the Doctor made sure that we did."
- - - - - - -
The Doctor entered the cottage with no hint of emotion on his face. His long brown coat billowed around his body as he stepped through the open door into the living room, where Rose watched through the window at the approaching dawn.
"Is it done?" she asked, wiping her eyes and not daring to turn.
"It's done." the Doctor spoke quietly. Now Rose gatehred up the courage to turn aorund, but when she did, she had to turn back to the window. He made his way over to her gingerly. Still she didn't look at him, as he stood centimetres behind her.
"Torchwood are dealin' with the media. Y'know the... asteroids and that. I should go help Pete." She turned to look at him for the first time and felt herself take a step back. "It's you." she whispered.
He nodded, a smile creeping up his sad face. "It's me. And it's you." he said, grinning, though he couldn't help but notice the tears shining in her eyes. She didn't bother to brush them away.
The next thing she knew, she was in his arms, wishing never to let go. She held onto him tightly, forgetting anything that had happened over the past three months, and just living for the sake of it. The Doctor wrapped his arms around Rose, so pleased to have found her, so guilty of what he'd done, and so afraid of what would come next.
Eventually they parted. She took a step back, and the two of them both looked at each other, for the first time in years, seeing the real thing. But, for some reason, it wasn't the tearful, romantic reunion Rose had pictured every night for the past six years.
"You look the same." Rose smiled slightly, then hesitated before continuing. "W-Where is he? John Smith?"
The Doctor tapped his head. "In here, somewhere."
"Like a story." Rose added, and the Doctor nodded. "Can you change back?" she asked tearfully.
"Yes." he replied, remembering the last time she had asked a question like that.
"Will you?"
"No."
She nodded understandingly, and the Doctor repeated the question he had asked her all those years ago. "Do you want me to?" he asked her carefully. She shrugged, not wanting to tell him the answer.
"Oh." he replied, surprised, his face growing more sombre as he realised her choice. "I thought..."
"I love you." Rose told him, before he could think otherwise, and she took a small step towards him as proof. "It's just - with John... Well, I dunno if you remember it, but -"
"I remember." the Doctor said quietly. "And I'm sorry."
Rose shook her head frustratedly. "No, don't be." she told him.
"No, I'm really so, so sorry. I shouldn't have let it happen; I shouldn't have let us -"
"Doctor." Rose said simply, forcing the word out, and the man silenced. "I loved John." she said truthfully, lifting his head up when he looked down. "He was kind, and loyal, and... brilliant. And so are you." she almost whispered the last part.
"You know I can't give you... all of that. That safety, that life." the Doctor told her, hating himself or what he was saying.
"Who wants safety?" Rose asked him simply, not expecting an answer. There was a pause before she spoke again, gently, "What happens now?"
The Doctor sighed slowly. "Well, I've dealt with the Family." His eyes flickered up to meet Rose's, but he continued before she could interrupt. "And the TARDIS'll be fine, I expect. How we got here in the first place, I don't think I'll never understand. But I'll just do some..."
"Jiggery-pokery?" Rose supplied, and he grinned.
"Yep, some jiggery-pokery, and we should be good to go." the Doctor told her. She looked up at him, a mischevous glint in her sparkling eyes.
"We?" she asked inccoently.
"Yeah." the Doctor said, then realised what he had said. "That is - I mean, myself and Martha, of course!" Rose's heart sank when he spoke his companion's name. "And you." he added. "If you'll come."
She didn't answer immediately. "There's something else." she started, frowning and looking down at the dusty, white windowsill. "Something you need to know."
John frowned slightly and didn't reply.
"It's about Jamie." she told him quietly, but he didn't respond. "You've already... "dealt with him"?"
He nodded weakly with guilt, but then added "It's... reversible. What I had to do to Jamie's body, it's reversible, if you wanted to say goodbye. But -"
Rose held up a finger, her throat tight with nerves, and the Doctor stopped talking. After a moment, she found the right words. "He's... I mean, it's not... he's not my brother." she said finally, and the Doctor smiled, almost sadly. She looked up guiltily, but frowned when she saw his expression, almost as if he was proud of her. "I mean, back when he was Jamie, he wasn't my brother then, either. He -" she cut off when he was still smiling. "Why are you smiling?"
"Oh, I just think I... I might know." he said simply, and Rose's heart lurched.
"You know?" she asked, astounded, and he nodded. "How?"
"Just a feeling." the Doctor said, revealing no more.
"He's my son." Rose said finally, and the Doctor smiled again.
"Who's the father?" he asked, not sure whether he wanted to know. Rose's face paled. "What?" he asked quickly, afraid he had said something wrong.
"Oh..." Rose said slowly. "Oh, I-I thought... You said you knew; I thought you knew that too. I'm sorry." She mumbled, and the Doctor frowned. She looked up into his eyes and swallowed. "It's you."
The Doctor's eyes widened and he nodded weakly, but neither smiled nor frowned, and didn't speak. Rose's face fell. "What?"
"No, nothing!" the Doctor said, forcing a smile onto his face. "It's... That's just... how?"
Rose swallowed and bit her lip. "Well, d'you remember, just before I got trapped here, when we were both in the other universe... We went to that planet, with all the rain?"
The Doctor screwed his face up, searching his memory desperately. "Anyway, that guy - well, not a guy, but you know what - anyway, this thing stuck that massive needle-y thing in you. And you fainted."
"Oh, yeah." he suddenly said, remembering the adventure. "Then when I woke up we were back in the TARDIS. You said nothing else happened." he frowned.
"Well, that's not... entirely true." she said slowly, and the Doctor's eyes widened. "I mean, I didn't know, at the time. It's just, well after you fainted, he stuck that needle thing in my stomach. And I remember him running off with it, and I took you back to the TARDIS, and then you woke up."
The Doctor processed the information slowly then looked up. "Wait, you didn't faint?"
Rose supressed a smirk. "No, only you fainted." He gave her an expression she could only call a pout, and was about to laugh when she realised the seriousness of the situation. "Anyway, I found out about the baby a couple of weeks after I got here, and... that's the only thing I could think of that could have caused it. Remember, I felt sick for the next two mornings? You thought I was just ill, an' you made me breakfast in bed. Then the next day... it happened. The battle."
The Doctor nodded, still not saying anything.
"I told you it was my mum." she said, for fear of the silence. "On Bad Wolf Bay, I said mum was pregnant. But it was me. 'Cause I... I couldn't do it, Doctor. I couldn't cope." Fresh tears broke her strong barrier and flooded down her pale cheeks. "Every time I looked down, and saw myself, pregnant, I only thought of you. An' it was killin' me. So, since no one really knew about us yet, mum and Pete adopted him, as soon as he was born." She paused. "I'm sorry."
"No, no, don't be." the Doctor insisted. "I mean, it's not - if I had been here - I mean -" he broke off, seeing Rose's expression. "It's great. Really." assured her.
Rose's eyes narrowed, studying the Doctor for his true feelings, then she asked the question again. "What d'you really think?"
The Doctor considered, breathing out slowly and running his hand through his hair. "I think..." he let out a puff of air. "I don't know what I think."
Rose nodded in understanding, begging herself not to feel the dissapointment. "When I found out, I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Whenever I saw him... it was so hard. But it got easier, over time. What about you?"
The Doctor closed his eyes in thought. "I think that... It might be interesting to have a son again."
Rose's eyes lit up with hope. "Really?" she asked, doubting his voice. He nodded, smiling.
"It's been so long since I had a family." he told her. "It might be... good to have one again. But I haven't had a family for so long, Rose." he added. "I... I don't know what it would feel like."
"But..." Rose frowned. "Wait a minute... You're talkin' like - like he's still alive."
The Doctor looked up. "There might be a way." he said, stressing the possibility. "If Jamie's part Time Lord, his mind is more advanced than others. His memories might still be safe. We might be able to draw out the alien part."
"They said he was dead." Rose said, letting the tears fall once more.
"They said he was human." the Doctor countered. "It's not definite." he said, to stop her from getting her hopes up too much. "It might not work."
"But you'll try?" she asked him, and he smiled.
"I'll do anything, you know that." He grinned in that way that had her heart beating faster each time, and now Rose knew he was back. Everything was going to be okay. "Anything for you. For you and for our son."
So? What do you all think? (If you think I've ruined it, just let me know. I promise I won't take offence.)
And do you have any idea how frustrating it is when you spend 19 chapters forcing yourself to write 'John', and now your mind won't let you write 'the Doctor'? It's driving me crazy. My backspace button is going to want revenge.