Author's note: I do not own Bleach or its characters. This is AU.

Alone in a Garden

Nanao stormed to her quarters, shaking with fury and terror. What had she just done? She never lost her temper like that. Once safely in her rooms, Nanao began to strip off her formal kimono. She needed to figure this out now, and she was going to be comfortable to do so. Barefoot and dressed in a yukata, Nanao sunk into her garden sanctuary. Settling herself beside the pond, Nanao tried to sort out her feelings and what she was going to do next.

However, there was just too much going on inside her for it to be simple. With a sigh, Nanao returned to her study to find some paper and a brush. It always helped her to organize things. She also sent for tea and a snack. Retreating back to her spot in the garden, she set to work. Several hours later, the sun was setting, there were various lists scattered around her perch, and Nanao was faced with the fact that she was absolutely, positively in love with Shunsui Kyoraku, and that if he didn't want to marry her, Nanao would be dealing with a broken heart as well as the rest of the issues.

She buried her head in her hands. Emotions were not her thing. Nanao was good with academic things, but she had never been good with expressing her feelings. She had no idea how to approach Shunsui about this. He needed to know that wanted him because he was Shunsui, not just because she needed a husband she could trust. And she didn't want him to accept if he didn't really want to. Yes, she would be hurt, but that was better than ruining their friendship with something that trapped them both.

Night fell and Nanao made one more trip back for a familiar pink haori to ward off the chill. She was going to stay out here until she had this figured out. There was a full moon, and that would provide plenty of light. Besides, she wasn't about to wade into the mess she'd made for herself without a battle plan. If she had learned one thing from the Shinigami Knights, it was to have a plan. You could always change it later.

Movement in the garden startled her, and she clutched the haori closer around her.

"Nanao-chan?"

"I'm here."

"We were getting worried about you, Nanao-chan." He made his way over to her. "You didn't really…"

His voice trailed off as his took in her attire. Nanao blushed and fingered the haori.

"When Father exiled you, I took it." Her blush deepened. "It was comforting to have."

"I've been wondering why I couldn't find it." He settled himself on a rock across from her. "What are you planning, Nanao-chan? You've left everyone in an uproar."

"I…" her voice trailed off. Nanao still wasn't sure how to put this. "I have to get married. I accept that. The problem is there is someone I want to ask, but I'm not sure he wants me. I have other options, but he is the one person I would most want to have as my husband. The problem is I do not want him to think he has to agree or reciprocate my feelings because of who I am. If he doesn't want me, there are other options that I have, and I don't want him to agree to marry me unless he really wants to."

Nanao bit her lip. So far so good. Shunsui was staring at her with something like awe and respect and sadness in his warm brown eyes. He reached for her hand.

"Nanao-chan, any man who didn't love is fool. Tell me what you want, and we'll find a way to make it work out. If you don't want to get married yet, we'll find away to put it off longer."

"What if what I wanted was you?" Nanao could barely hear her own voice.

Shunsui blinked at that. She could see his mind working through what she had just said. The next thing she knew, Nanao was tucked in her champion's lap, her hands enfolded in his.

"You're asking me to marry you, Nanao-chan?"

Nanao looked at her hands. "I don't want you to say yes because you feel you have to. I know you care about me. If you love me, there is nothing more that I want than to be your wife, but if you don't, then I don't want to trap you."

"My Nanao," he gently caressed her face, "if I am what you want, then you may have me. My heart has been yours for years now."

Shunsui tilted her head up, so she met his eyes then leaned in and kissed her. Nanao let out a soft sigh and let him. He was being so gentle, so careful like he though she might break or disappear on him. And for the first time since this whole mess started, Nanao felt completely content and safe. She knew it would all start over again once she announced her choice, but for this moment with the two of them alone in the garden, there was peace.