Chapter Eight: Running Out
The breach is a medium sized hole ripped into the side of one of the labs. The gnarled metal protruded out to space beyond.
Entering the breached lab proved treacherous even in a spacesuit. The room is acting as a vacuum, sucking everything out of it. Bellamy tethered himself to Monty and Raven. He lifts a large metal plate from the floor and carefully carries it towards the hole. The bulky spacesuit doesn't provide much room for precision to maneuver. It forcefully slams against the breach and Raven quickly begins to seal it in place.
"This is bad guys. We don't know the extent of the damage." Monty states. Bellamy grunts, keeping the metal plate centered.
The red light above blinks softly at them and Bellamy tries not to concentrate on the darkest corners of the room. There's nothing there. She isn't there now but it doesn't rid him of the terrifying fact that he did see her earlier.
He knows rationally that it must be the stress coupled with the sleep deprivation and the infinite supply of guilt he had on hand. If he just took care himself better than he wouldn't feel like he's losing his mind and that the dark corners were just dark corners.
Not long ago, looking down at the burning Earth, he had wanted to lose his mind to it. He would have welcomed it then, to see her again, but now…now that he's faced with the reality of it, he's utterly terrified.
The breach is sealed and they are able to pressurize the sector before they close it off for good. They needed to take precautions and make sure the ring didn't start to collapse in on itself. It's stabilized for now.
Bellamy sits with the others in the mess hall and sips soup Monty attempted to make. It wasn't bad, just bland but he couldn't really blame him for the lack of ingredients they had on hand.
"I need to form a more accurate damage assessment of the entire ring, so we can make sure that doesn't happen again." Raven says to the group.
"What exactly was it that happened?" Emori speaks up and glances in Bellamy's direction.
If they want to blame him for everything, then so be it.
"It was my fault." Raven begins, "I powered up the other sectors of the ring and in doing so caused an electrical short to an old antenna that crashed into the bottom of the ring."
"What does that have to do with the antenna that Bellamy repaired?" Emori questions.
"Nothing. These are two separate incidents."
Murphy leans back in his chair on a yawn, "So, because of those two mistakes, we are scarce on air and the ship might collapse. Nice going."
Bellamy sets down his spoon and interrupts, "I don't see you stepping up to take care of any of it. What is it you do exactly?"
Murphy throws a smile his way and Raven stands, "We can throw blame around or we can try to make sure we don't make any more of those mistakes."
Bellamy presses his lips together and blinks against the bright piercing lights that surrounded them. He could feel a headache coming on, a bad one.
By the time he made it back to the comms room his head is splitting open. He dimmed the lights considerably and sat silent in the usual chair with his eyes tightly closed. He pinches the bridge of his nose and thinks of sleeping.
At this point he's almost too exhausted to sleep.
The comms crackles. "Bellamy, you there?" O's voice echoes.
He quickly picks up the receiver and replies, "I'm here. Everything okay?"
"We're surviving. Just checking in."
There's a burst of static and Bellamy waits for it to disperse before replying.
"There's been some damage to the ring from an old antenna but we were able to repair it."
"Good to hear it. No word from Clarke?" O asks and Bellamy rests his elbows on his knees, the receiver cupped in his palms.
"Nothing. Not even static."
"I know how you are. It's not your fault, Bellamy." O replies and the garbled static hums in the background.
"It is. I left her behind." He says softly.
"She understood what had to be done. It's not just on you. All of you had to leave or you would have died."
"Maybe I should have stayed…" Bellamy lets the words hang there, out in the open and Octavia is silent for a moment.
"You're not serious?"
There's a skipping sound, like a record player without a recorder to play. She continues, "You aren't a night blood."
Bellamy sits up and says, "I don't know…I think I'm just tired."
"Get some rest then, big brother." She says quietly.
"You too, O."
He lies awake, his eyes resting on the ceiling above. He imagines the metal torn open above him to reveal the stars and it's a small comfort.
There's a sudden screech of static over the comms that startles him. He sits upright, still and silent. He listens to the static fade and then grow louder again.
He hears the words, "I'm here." Barely audible and he runs to the receiver.
"Clarke…can you hear me? Are you okay?"
The crackling answers him back.
"Clarke! Can you hear me?"
The static suddenly cuts out and leaves him with silence. It's eerily jarring.
"Can you read me?" He tries again.
There's a knock on the door that makes him jump and he sits there eyeing his surroundings as if something has changed. It feels like something is different but he can't put his finger on it. Something small, like the light.
There's a knock again and Bellamy stands from the chair and opens the metal door. Raven is on the other side, looking exhausted. There's a slump to her shoulders. Whatever she's planning on saying it wasn't anything uplifting.
"Everything okay?" He asks.
She pushes by him into the room and she motions for him to shut the door. He complies with a click and he crosses his arms. There's a chill in the air, like a draft moving through.
"I talked to Monty about this and he said I should talk to you. I'm unsure about telling you this because of how much pressure you've been putting on yourself." Raven says into the quiet.
"I'm fine." Bellamy replies and Raven shakes her head with a bitter laugh.
"Don't patronize me. We both know you haven't been fine since we left Earth."
Bellamy doesn't bother arguing and sighs instead, waiting for her continue.
She just stands there for a moment looking towards the comms and observing his messy unmade bed. Her eyes find his again and there's a growing fear in her expression. It frightens Bellamy. Raven is rarely scared about anything.
"It's about the damage and the breach." She says and stops, crossing her arms in the process. "I calculated how long our air would last. Before the damage it was at six years and seven days."
"What is it at now?" He asks. She's watching him with quiet devastation.
"Four years and eleven days with seven people."
"We need five years, Raven." He states the obvious but he doesn't know what else to say.
"I calculated it again and again. It didn't change unless…" She pauses and keeps her eyes locked on his. He swallows waiting for her to finish.
"Unless what?"
"Unless there's less people. With five we can make it for five years." She says and Bellamy takes a deep breath, running his hands over his face. His head is throbbing again, like it could crack open.
"That means…what does that mean?" Bellamy asks and his voice wavers. He knew what it meant, he just didn't want to say it.
"We can't survive the five years with all seven of us in the ring. We have the time to plan but we need a solution here."
"One that doesn't involve floating two of our people." Bellamy snaps.
"Preferably but we also have to consider all solutions, as much as I don't want to acknowledge it." She replies and looks away from him aimlessly towards the floor.
He moves towards the nearest chair and collapses into it. "What do we tell the others?"
Raven glances over at him. "We don't…not right now anyway. I don't want anyone to panic."
Bellamy takes a slow deep breath, "There has to be an alternative. We're going to find it, even if it takes four years to do it. We can't…." He stops and shakes his head.
Raven nods even if she didn't look convinced. They sit in the worn-out silence until the sounds of the others roaming the halls echo back to them.