A/N: Really short chapter, but I thought it needed to stand on its own.
Disclaimer: Everything is someone elses.
Three days after his talk with Meredith, Alex walked into Dr. Wyatt's office after a difficult shift. He sat on the couch and stared at his hands, just like every other sessions. But he wanted this one to be different. He wanted Meredith to be right, he wanted it to get easier. And he definitely needed something to make him feel better about today. If talking didn't work, he had other options.
"I got to scrub in today for the first time since-" Alex stopped himself, almost forgetting Dr. Bailey hadn't told her about the drugs. "Well, it's been a while. And there was this little girl, Tessa. And she was dying. We told her parents that they had to decide if they wanted us to operate or not. But they let her decide. She was 5 years old, and they let her make a life or death decision. And she said she wanted the surgery. I mean, she was 5 years old! Five year olds don't even know what surgery is! So the parents gave consent, and she died. She died on the table, with my hand in her stomach. If she hadn't had the surgery, she could have had a good couple of months." He paused for a moment as he wiped away a tear. He hadn't anticipated breaking down like this.
"Her birthday's in 8 days. She wanted a green My Little Pony. And a sparkly tutu, and a Hannah Montana doll. She could have had all those things if her parents had said no to the surgery. They cold have saved her life, for a few months at least, but she died. Eight days before her 6th birthday."
A case had never hit him this hard. Not Scott, the kid who's dad hit his mom, not even Ava. He imagined what Bailey would say if she saw him crying over a patient. He got too emotionally involved. But who couldn't get emotionally involved when a 5 year old girl is telling you what she wants for her birthday. When she says "I know you'll fix me, Alex." When she looks at you with her big green eyes and a smile that's one tooth short. It was the first tooth she had lost. "It got stuck in my ice cream cone," she explained. And he had said one of the worst things you can say to a patient. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise." Alex hated lies. Especially the one he had told a 5 year old girl.
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