All Rights to Hiro Mashima

Thanks for all the support you precious cupcakes. You all rock so hard I can't even… :3

BEWARE! FLUFF SOFTER THAN A BABY LAMB! DOMESTIC NATSU! TERRIFIED LUCY! ERZA'S MIGHTY THIGHS INCOMING!

~ Mask ~

In which Lucy learns the true meaning of the words 'controlled chaos', while Natsu decides to play a little game.

"Yo Laki! It's Natsu…I realise you're probably super busy and shit, but I was wondering if I could ask you a favour. I would pay for it of course! I just…want it to be a big surprise for her. I'll give you extra if you rush the job, but I understand that you can only do so much at a time. I want to commission four pieces from you, the specs are easy, but I want them made of your sturdiest, longest lasting wood and stained deep—shit! Hang on!"

The lilac-haired woman stared at her lacrima com in confusion. Natsu had never, ever called her before, they didn't even text. She didn't even know that he had her number…oh well.

She heard a scuffle and a bit of a crash, then a meow and she knew that it was Happy the famed blue-haired cat making a scene again. And then a tinkle of a feminine laughter.

Interesting.

The recording went on with Natsu a little out of breath and a whole lot disgruntled, grumbling about someone ganging up on him. "—anyways uhm…please don't say a word about this, but I'll find you at the bar later today or tomorrow or whenever to tell you specifically what I want. I want her to be so amazed alright? Just…yah. Okay. That's it. Thanks. Bye."

Laki listened to the recording at least three more times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating but ultimately came to the same conclusion.

Natsu wanted her to make something for him, which was a surprise gift, for a woman.

She couldn't wait to get to Mira's bar tonight.

-ooo-

Lucy giggled as she tousled a purring Happy dry with a big white towel. The little guy made quite a mess earlier when she was trying to make cupcakes for her to bring to the bar tonight. The blue kitty had gotten so underfoot with her that she had upended a full mixing bowl full of batter all over the floor, herself and then him.

So, she decided to take a bath, and then bathe Happy. She was pleasantly surprised to find that this strange cat – who was so obviously Natsu's with all the weirdness in him – actually enjoyed the water. So she switched to a shower and he had played with the water pelting his back like a tangible thing, meowing loudly like an alley cat the whole while.

When they were both clean, Happy decided to skip the step of drying off to go and pounce on his unsuspecting owner, who cursed and swore like a sailor, even though he was laughing.

He had handed Happy back to a towel-clad Lucy with a look that conveyed his suspicion (as if she sent the cat to him in a fit of spite or something), but she had only grinned innocently and winked.

Natsu had opened his wonderful house to her and she couldn't have been happier. Two floors, four bedrooms and three baths, it was spacious and airy. A cross between the old world with the brick from the outside of the house creeping in on the fireplaces, and new as the kitchen was completely state of the art and gleamed in the warm lighting.

No chandeliers, no stupidly expansive ballrooms, no tables that seat fifty people.

It was intimate and adorable. And she loved it.

But it was…messy.

Or, it was unkempt to, say the least. Dusty and musty – most likely due to the fact that Natsu spent most of his time at the bar, the gym, or travelling, and there it was mostly empty. A single bed (which after oozing into the front door in a tired heap early that morning, they had slept in it in their clothes) and dresser in the master bedroom, three bedrooms completely bare – except one looked like it was holding a couple of miscellaneous boxes from when Natsu moved in – and the kitchen (while beautiful of course) only held the minimum utensils, one pot, one pan, and only food that could be for breakfast.

When asked he replied with "I can't cook anything that doesn't have eggs in it, so I gave up long ago and just go to Mira's instead of almost burning my house down…again" and she was half scandalised and half amused. But no matter, Lucy was here now and would help him out, he looked like a man who would love to barbeque constantly (possibly play with the fire if he had his way) so she asked him why he didn't have one. To which he had no answer and pouted for two hours at the lost opportunities for steaks.

He had given her a tour (proudly pointing into his cutlery drawer to show her that he did indeed have only one type of fork) before parading around the second floor. She had asked about the unused room and he only said that he hadn't found a good use for them yet, but hoped to in the future. The sparkle in his eyes told her that he was envisioning great things, exciting things, but wouldn't tell her anything yet.

The bastard, keeping secrets from his poor wife.

Even then, the house was lovely but empty.

Not the bad kind that looked like ghosts could set up shop in every corner, or cold like her old manor house. But…unfinished, like there were spaces that were just waiting to be filled with pictures and knick-knacks and memories. It needed his hordes of children and decorative pieces from their travels, trophies and belts that he had won, and a library.

Damn, the house needed a library.

When she had voiced that…he had just shrugged and said maybe. But told her that she needed books first before anything like that could happen. Lucy agreed and promptly whipped out the card that Levy had given her six days ago (so much had happened in those days that she felt that she hadn't talked to the bluenette in years instead) and proceeded to try to call her new best friend – because who else would Levy be, she owned a goddamn bookstore for the Gods sake, it was a match made in heaven – when Natsu plucked her lacrima com and held it up high in the air.

"Natsu! You're being a giant jerkwad! Give me my lacrima back! I wanna call the love of my life and you're preventing me from buying a million books and I will beat you so hard you'll talk funny for a week! STOP LAUGHING!"

"But, no one knows you're here. I don't wanna spoil the surprise…just imagine all their faces!" He cackled with a maniacal grin that looked so at home on his face that it was a bit scary.

Lucy admitted that would be really funny to see their surprise and conceded to which he swooped down and kissed her breathless while pinning her up against the fridge in his kitchen (their kitchen)…just to remind her who the real love of her life was.

As if it could be anyone else.

-ooo-

They had a lovely afternoon together. Unpacking Lucy's things only took the better part of one hour (seriously Lucy! Where is all your stuff? You have less than me and I'm a guy!) And they had opted to order in pizzas from Macao's in the industrial district.

He had asked Lucy to order them so he could take a shower as she had made him dust – he didn't even know what that was until today, Erza would be so appalled if she ever found out – and he knew immediately when the pies had shown up twenty-five minutes later, steaming and ready to be devoured, that Lucy was his ultimate match, the yang to his yin, the milk to his cookie, etc.

She had three larges delivered, one for herself – an interesting combination of Hawaiian with added olives and mushrooms, Gods she was weird but he loved her anyway so it didn't matter much – and two for him.

When he opened them, he had gasped audibly and wanted to cry in joy. He didn't even know that Macao's made something like this and it was amazing. Truly a work of art.

So he took a bite and then groaned absolutely lewdly – to his amusement he saw the tops of Lucy;s ears pink at the sound – because he was in heaven and this pizza was akin to food of the Gods.

Then the burn hit him, his mouth was on fire and he loved it.

"What…what the hell even is this? I've never seen it before and believe me, I order from there all the time, the guy who owns the place is a patron of Mira's he used to spar at Fairy Tail in the old days."

Lucy had shrugged and grinned. "I just told the guy that answered the phone that I wanted two of his largest pizzas with all the meat he could fit on it, every spicy pepper and add hot sauce to the tomato base, pepper jack cheese, then drizzled with sriracha."

He had never eaten so much so fast in his life. He was a bottomless pit, but he inhaled that damn pizza like it was going out of fucking style that he actually got a stomach ache.

But it was worth it.

Natsu had vowed then to order that same pizza every week – like the glutton he was, and he was not ashamed to say it – and Lucy had wanted to tell him no, but the look of absolute bliss on his face when he said it was so close to the look he got when he orgasmed that the words had died in her throat and she was so turned on by the weirdest thing that she just nodded and coughed awkwardly instead.

(A year later, after having ordered the damn thing every Saturday when they were in town, Natsu would hear that Macao had said 'screw it' and named the crazy ass spicy meat pizza 'The Salamander' and Natsu would actually cry tears of joy, to which Lucy rolled her eyes and kept drinking her smoothie. Her husband was a giant dork.)

So here they were, just before dusk, standing in front of Mira's restaurant, 'Changelings Bar and Grill' trying to decide whether or not they should go inside, state they are married and then either die under a pile of their families bodies, or run for the hills and never look back again.

Natsu, in particular – seeing as he actually knew all these crazy people – was looking a bit apprehensive. Which was an understatement because he was as pale as Lucy was usually and going through nervous sweats.

"Why are you all greasy?"

"It's sweat! And I'm not!"

"I knew you shouldn't have eaten all that pizza at once. You'll get love handles and then I might have to divorce you for Gray and run off into the sunset."

Natsu had pulled his little teasing smirking wife close to him and growled into her ear. "You can tease me about putting on weight all you want, but never speak ill of the pizza. She was a gift from the Gods and should be treated like the lady she is…well was, seeing as I devoured her completely."

And the strange part of this was…Lucy was actually getting seriously aroused. Whether from the way Natsu's lips were grazing her ears – that he knew were super sensitive the bastard! – or the things he was saying, which was a pile of nonsense mostly but had her thinking of her husband all pink-haired and gleaming green eyes eating her out like she was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted.

But it didn't matter because it was happening to her body when she was about to go and meet his friend – our friends Luce! Don't be weird about it… - and she was suddenly finding heat pooling like a liquid thing in her belly and she couldn't stop it damn Natsu was just so fucking hot.

He nipped the shell of her ear once and chuckled darkly as if he knew what he was doing to her – which he did – and then pulled away to give her a goofy smile trying to distract her from the ridiculous boner he was popping in his pants when he had heard her breath stutter and felt her hands around his waist grip tighter.

Natsu eyed the situation…they could probably put this off for one more day right? He was slightly reeling from half formed ideas of Lucy in their bed all dishevelled and hot and damn there goes the last of the room in his pants. Agh, he loved how just the thought of Lucy could set him off and he was suddenly wondering why he had wasted the afternoon eating pizza instead of enjoying the deliciousness that rested between her legs.

He scrapped that idea when he remembered that the pizza was amazing and he was in a food coma for three and a half hours after and had awoken to Lucy doodling penises on his forehead, in permanent marker.

Shit, he loved her so much.

He was just about the throw her over his shoulder like a true caveman to go back to his home, or a deserted alley way somewhere, cause he didn't think he could make it when she was staring at him like that, when the mother of all erection killers clamped her hand down onto his shoulder.

Immediately he released Lucy from his arms, there was no need for her to be dragged through hell and back with him.

He knew his good luck would run out sometime, and here that moment was.

"Where the fuck have you been Dragneel! You better have a stupidly good reason for disappearing like that after your match."

He paled and whimpered, flaccid as can be now. He silently said his last goodbyes to his best friend and prayed that she would find Happy's stash of fish before it got too stinky – that cat was a mischievous dickhead – and smiled ruefully at his PR Director.

"H-hi Erza…"

Her thunderous expression did nothing but set his nerves on fire, and not in a good way before he squeaked out something that might have been "I can explain!" Before she all but propelled him into the bar and away from his obviously confused – and a little amused – best friend whom they left standing on the sidewalk outside.

The bar itself was a quiet and only the regulars were in there, which meant that his entire family was already there to witness his death by the red-headed Demon.

But he didn't want to die! And he certainly didn't want to go out without having one more look at Lucy's stupidly gorgeous face. "Wait! Erza! Hold up a minute!"

"What Dragneel? Laxus wants to have a word with you and he's in a bit of a 'Thunderous' mood if you catch my drift."

Shit.

Well…his life was forfeit. "Uhm…uhhh…"

"Erza? Erza Scarlett?"

Suddenly, like angels descending onto Earthland and sending miracle upon miracle through the world, his brilliant and amazing wife stepped in and was shoving her dainty little hand into his demonic PR Director's face, essentially pulling her attention away from Natsu and towards something new and shiny.

The shiny thing was Lucy in all her adorableness. Gold hair swaying and her megawatt smile out in full force that shined brighter than the Goddamn sun.

She was a fucking treasure and saved him from multiple pain-filled deaths, if only for the moment, and he was going to reward her for her good timing later that night. He had no doubts that she would not dissuade him from that decision.

"Yes? Do I know you?" Erza looked presently surprised but resigned and he knew what that was like. People recognised him daily, but not as Natsu Dragneel, but as the Salamander. Erza probably thought that Lucy was just a fan.

But she wasn't, but only Natsu knew that at the moment.

"Oh! Pardon me, where are my manners…My name is Lucy. I write under the name Fairy Heart for Sorcerer Weekly and some other papers around Crocus. I talked to you a couple months ago about the expose on the tournament?"

"Oh yes! A pleasure to make your acquaintance." Erza accepted the handshake with vigour and doing so, dropped her vice grip on Natsu's shoulder. He slipped away from Titania and decided to skulk behind Lucy, using her as a human shield as it was.

The quick little quirk up of the blonde's lips showed that she noticed he was terrified. And if she ever teased him about it, he would show her footage of Titania four years ago when she was in Crocus for an event – being Pandemonium, which in and of itself is fucking insane and stupid – fought against one hundred highly trained Knights from ERA and won.

She would know his terror if it was the last thing he ever did. He might be the Salamander, he might be physically stronger than her – no hate, he is a man it is just biology working for him – he might get stronger and more focused when he has something to fight for, and he might enjoy the feel of adrenaline coursing through his veins, but he has nothing on Erza when she is deadly focused and her righteous sense of justice and fury come out.

Her signature move – named after her of course – was called Hammer of Justice for Mavis' sake. She was just so…Erza.

It didn't help her image any when you knew that her husband – one Jellal Fernandes – owns, runs and monopolises the private security scene in Fiore when he created Crime Sorciere almost six years ago.

When he was a fucking teenager.

Those two were just…Gods among men.

"Please forgive the radio silence over the past two days Ms Erza, I apologise for the confusion. Natsu's phone was off and no one had my number. I tried to interview Natsu here for my article but got caught up in…a challenge from Cana," Erza hummed and nodded in understanding at that, "So we decided to call it a night, slept at the hotel, then I finished my interview later and Natsu here, being the gentleman he is, helped me out of a problem I was having, we came right back when we had the time and I have always wanted to travel and we just hit it off. We became best friends over night and lost track of time learning everything about each other…I hope it didn't cause too many problems." Her mask of innocence was enough to fool Erza, but he saw the vixen underneath when her brown eyes glimmered just a little too much with hidden mirth.

Damn, she was a good actress.

Natsu almost wept. Lucy was taking the blame for their little adventure and talking him up to Erza of all people. He loved her even more for not throwing him under the bus. He wished he had found Lucy sooner than this, he could have avoided so many head traumas from Titania's "punishments" over the years if nothing else.

And he ogled her use to words. While everything she said was the truth – which he knew she valued over most other things – it wasn't the whole truth per se. He thought the term was 'lying through omission' but didn't really care one way or the other.

He watched as Erza blushed and stammered out a thank-you as Lucy complimented her skirt or something – full disclosure he wasn't really listening – and then Titania left with a nod back to the bar to relay the message to Laxus who was eyeing him from across the bar.

Scratch that.

Every single one of his friends and family were looking at him and Lucy as they stood in the entryway like they were a science experiment they couldn't wait to see go wrong.

The little gasp that came from Lucy clued Natsu in that she was a bit scared. So he flashed the peanut gallery a signature grin and hauled Lucy by her elbow, none too gracefully, into a hidden alcove beside the door that held hooks for coats and hats and things of that nature.

"Luce. You okay?"

She nodded then rubbed her arms in that way that told him she was nervous. "It's just…what if they don't like me Natsu?"

"What? You already won over Erza! You're speaking nonsense and you know it."

Natsu grabbed her hands as she looked down at her toes peeking out of purple heels that made her ass look phenomenal. "Princess. Look at me."

If his tone didn't catch her attention, the use of that very specific endearment did. He only used that when he was feeling especially loving – the line wasn't that cut and dry because he really did love her lots, like….a huge amount – and Lucy did catch his eye finally. "They are a weird bunch of people, but amazing. Just like you-" she huffed and poked him in the ribs for that comment, "So you'll fit right in. You have me, and Metal Butt, and the Squirt, and Happy has already abandoned me for you so I think you'll be fine. Plus Wendy seemed very thankful when you braided her hair when we picked up my traitor cat from her last night. They are so accepting, I promise."

To his horror, Lucy looked like she was about to cry. He had meant all those words in a kind way, to boost her self-esteem, but he was making her tear up instead.

This was why he was a man of little words and used actions instead!

"Oh, Natsu! Thank you."

"…huh?"

And then his little wife collided with his torso and sniffled. "Who knew you had a way with words?"

He snorted. Natsu certainly didn't know. Usually, he just punched something if it was bothering him, so being smooth like Gray was when he was speaking was definitely new.

"Come on Luce. Let's go meet your new family."

He dragged her back into the main beer hall to exclamations of excitement and a round of "where the hell have you been?" before everyone gravitated towards the new blonde woman attached to his side. They were bombarded with questions from every side before Lucy was stolen by a bawling Levy who was just so happy that she had come to Magnolia and every other woman in the place descended like vultures.

The men decided that they hadn't had enough brawls recently, so he was pulled into a heated one between Gray, Gajeel, and Elfman before Laxus had forcibly split them up.

But the smile that lit up Lucy's face, one from being immediately accepted no matter what, made the bruise on his cheek and scratch just above his eyebrow worth it to see her happy.

-ooo-

It became a running game for them that first night in the bar, especially when it became more and more packed with people who weren't regulars, waiting patiently for the first person to realise that either one of the newly wedded pair were sporting a gold ring on a very specific finger that could mean little else.

Lucy had brushed by him for a moment on the way to the ladies room three…no, make that almost four hours ago proposing a little bet.

If she was asked first about her ring, then Natsu would win and Lucy would do something for him tomorrow no questions asked.

And the same went for Lucy. They couldn't hide the ring more than necessary, and after a while of wondering when the bomb would drop, the pair forgot all about the rings in all honesty and was just content to while away the hours laughing and talking and eating (no drinking because Cana plus any type of booze still made them queasy).

Lucy learned so much. She had spoken to both Freed – Laxus' lawyer friend who kept the gym out of too much trouble – and Levy about books and current events. Met the Strauss sibling and fangirled over Mira for a moment before being swept up into a Strauss family hug. Watched a million and one brawls between Gray and Natsu that usually ended up with Erza slapping their heads together to get them to stop. There was just so many people to meet. Bickslow the sweet but loud custom wood designer that employed an odd woman named Laki. Evergreen who owned a beauty salon down by the boardwalk called "Fairy's Delight." Jellal, the stoic but calm husband of the famous Titania and his one-eyed sarcastic Lieutenant Erik "Cobra" Ophis.

There just wasn't enough time in the day to know everything, but it was a start. Her cheeks hurt from all the smiling and she couldn't be happier.

She watched her husband from across the room as he wildly gestured a chicken wing, miming a fight – most likely the one that brought them together – when he caught her eye and winked. She melted inside and was horrified to find a blush creeping up her cheek bones. They had already done so much together, learned each other's bodies inside and out, knew all their secrets and deepest desires.

How was she so flustered?

Natsu, on the other hand, was delighted to see Lucy covering up her cheeks with a bewildered expression that just made him want to kiss her cute little mouth.

But then the bet between them would be forfeit and he really wanted Lucy to do something for him tomorrow. Like…he was already half-hard already with thoughts about all the possible acts he could have her do, no questions asked.

An hour later had him speaking quietly – which was so out of character for him it wasn't even funny – and earnestly to both Laki and Bickslow about a surprise for Lucy, when he heard an exclamation of excitement from the bar.

It was Mira, the She-Devil herself in all her Demon glory, hanging over her own bar with Lucy's left hand shoved in her face, a smirking Cana – who was the bar tender of Changeling's, Natsu didn't really understand how she made any drinks she was almost always plastered – standing right behind her.

"Lucy! You didn't mention you were married? And neither did Natsu. I must hear everything about the event! Do you have pictures? Who's the lucky guy? Did he come with you?"

Natsu was both happy – he won the bet and Lucy would be riding a Dragon tomorrow – and apprehensive. Bickslow looked at him strangely when his shoulders and arms locked up with nervous tension, just waiting silently for Lucy's answer.

"Oh. He's here alright, and it happened quite recently."

"Lulu! How come I didn't notice when we were in Crocus talking? I'm usually more observant." Levy had joined the growing crowd around her after her latest trip to the bathroom.

"Because it happened that night."

"…what?" Stunned silence from the room fell over his ears like a blanket.

"You eloped."

Lucy cocked her head and her eyes slid to him, sharing a secret look before she answered with a nod.

Cana guffawed in the background, which was strange, but she wasn't doing it maliciously…it was if she knew something that no one else did and could barely contain it.

Mira waved her hands around. "I don't care! I still want pictures though!"

Lucy clapped her hands happily and slid her purse off her shoulder. "Of course Mira, unfortunately, I only have one."

With grabby hands, Mira ripped the photo from a still smirking Lucy, took one look at it and promptly fainted.

"Mira! What the hell?" Elfman tried to shake her awake but was unable to while Lisanna pulled the photo out of the death grip her sister had on that small piece of paper.

Unlike Mira, Lis didn't faint, but she did turn a strange red-ish purple colour when she forgot to breathe. Freed had to slap her on the back to get her going once more, and when she did, she rounded on a seemingly bored looking Natsu in the corner sandwiched between her almost boyfriend Bickslow and Laki.

Cana had abandoned all pretences of having a bit of control and was well and truly cackling now.

Lisanna pointed at her childhood friend in utter astonishment. "You?"

Natsu held up his left hand and twirled his new jewellery around his ring finger. "Me."

The pinkette had no idea what to expect, but the disbelieving shout of "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" from his rival Gray and the burning look of possessiveness – which was super-duper hot – that Lucy gave him for the fact that she could now claim him as being her husband in public, made the fist to the face from Erza worth it.

Next: Tattoo

WARNING! DOUCHEBAG ALERT! INCOMING STICK UP THE ASS!

Stay Crazy my precious cupcakes,

LoadedEel