Hey guys! Look who is updating! I have had probably one of the worst few months in awhile, but I am here to stay and to keep fighting. Thank you guys for constantly brightening my day with comments, favorites, and follows, it means so much to me! Silly me is now working on four full length stories that are exciting to write, yet stressful. So enjoy this chapter and I will be seeing you sooner rather than later xoxoxo

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING, EXCEPT KAITLYNN 3

Chapter 4 Amy's POV

Karma dropped off my little munchkin early this morning around 6 am. I haven't told her about seeing or talking with Reagan, I wanted to wait everything out, plus she had to run off to her classes. Katie woke up around 9 am after putting her back to bed upon her arrival. I have been texting Reagan none stop since last night, and we agreed on going to the zoo around noon, just to beat the crowd. That gave me just enough time to get Kaitlynn and myself ready for the day. I fixed breakfast, donuts and coffee for me (duh) and hot cereal and formula for my favorite 15 month old little girl. After breakfast, I first cleaned up and dressed Katie, before settling her in her play pin located in my room, then I scurry off to get ready. Just then, I heard Lauren come into the bathroom with baby girl in her arms.

"Mom said, you wanted to talk to me?" she then thought about the predicament, "Well not now, but she said to come home."

"Yeah, I did. I'll be done in a sec. Can you make sure all of her juice and snacks for the day are packed in her bag. I don't want to forget anything," I shout from the shower. She nods and hurries away talking to the baby and making her laugh. I smile at the fact that she loves spending time with Kaitlynn. There is no denying that we have all had our differences in the past, but things were better and that made me happy. Her and Karma still argued when given the chance, but having Katie brought us all together in some strange way. Lauren and Theo were honorary aunt and uncle, and Shane and I were the godparents being the best friends of the parents. I turn off the water and stepped into the cool air of the bathroom. I quickly get dressed, seeing as it is now 11:25 am, and let my hair air dry. I walk in the kitchen to find Lauren and the munchkin in a tickle fight, fits of giggles pouring out of them both. I smiled, entering the room and sat across from my sister and goddaughter.

"So, what's up Amy?"

"Well, I wanted to fill you in, before Shane got ahold of you. So today, Katie and I are going to the zoo," I start.

"Awww, Katie Boo! You going to see monkeys?! Are you excited?" The baby nods her head excitedly and clapped, beginning to sprout excited gibberish.

"Yeah, we are, and we're going with someone."

"Oh, Ames! You finally found someone?! That's great, you know we were all so worried about you. You should be happy and not set that aside to be a lonely workalcholic."

"Hurtful! First, I didn't meet anyone and second stop having secret meetings with everyone to discuss my love life. I am just starting out with my career, so of course I want to just focus on that. If I meet someone, then I meet someone, no rush on my part," I said glaring at her with no real force behind it. I know that my friends worry because I haven't had a stable relationship in awhile, plus I was never really into anyone like I was into Reagan.

"Wait, so who is it? Oliver? Haven't heard from him in a few months. Felix? Eww, no offense, but just no. Not that bi-witch right? If so, I will punched her in the eye," she stopped herself mindful of the baby that's present and repeats everything.

"No, no, and hell no. I'm not that stupid, but it's... Reagan," I say waiting to gauge her reaction. Her face scrunched up in confusion, before realization struck. She set Kaitlynn down to run off and play with something, who knows what and turned to me.

"WHAT?! Amy really? You found her after all this time? How in the fuck did this happen?" she was a little too excited for just another outing with my ex.

"Lauren, calm down dude. It is not that big of a deal," I try my best to keep her outburst at library level, with no success whatsoever.

"No big deal?! Really Amy, this is what you've been hoping for. I know you, I know that even when you were with that boring sack of crap and bitch from hell, you still loved Reagan. I know that you cried harder over her than even Karma's rejection," she winced at the mention of that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's okay, I am really happy that it happened now that I think about it. It really needed to happen, so that I could understand who I am and what I am. So no worries, but yes, I ran into her yesterday at the grocery store, we talked a little awkwardly. Then we went out, AS FRIENDS," I emphasized. "last night and now yeah, we're taken Katie to the zoo. Everything is in the name of friendship, but I wanted to tell you because Shane has a big ass mouth, and would have changed the story completely."

"Amy," she states calmly taking my hand. "I KNOW you, like I said, so I know there is more to this little reunion. Do you still love her Ames?" She is making eye contact which I try my damnest to avoid like the plague.

"It doesn't matter. We just don't work and that's okay. Being her friend is enough. I really missed her and now she's back in my life, for the summer at least. But I'm fine, really, it's just seeing her after so long caused everything to overwhelm me at once. I'll get over it, it's what I do. When I'm not wanted by the people I want, I get over it," I whisper as a single tear cascaded down my face. I've have always been confident in who I am and I loved being me. But over the years of mistreatment and bullshit relationships, it changes you and now I don't feel as confident anymore and it sucks. I know it's definitely out of character for Amy Raudenfield to feel things other than humor, hunger, and happiness, but I do have other feelings. It just took getting my heart broken, by the first man I've ever loved to bring them to surface. When my dad left, I suppressed everything around everyone else, except Karma. She was my shoulder to cry on while others got a mask of sarcasm, lame jokes, and eyerolls. Then came Karma, who was no longer my shoulder to cry on, but another broken heart. We eventually got passed everything and remained best friends, yet I turned to my sister and GBF more often these days.

"Amy, you know I am here for you always. But I must say, you sound so fucking stupid right now. You deserve everything and more because you are an amazing person. Don't let some fuck faces stop you from seeing how great you are, including Karma. As much as I love that baby in there, her mom's a fucking idiot, but I digress because that is over and I'm glad it is. But the likes of your dad, Karma, Felix, or that bitch who must not be named, should never stop you from being happy. There are only two people I've seen you light up over since I've known you and that is that little girl in there, and Reagan. You were happy Ames and I want that for you. So get your head out of your ass sister dear, and go find your happily ever after. We all have ours, now it's time for you to have yours," she finishes before checking the time and rising from her seat. "Now if you will excuse me, I have to get to work, so I will see you later," we hug goodbye, "remember what I said." I stay seated really thinking about what Lauren said as she hugs and kisses Katie goodbye and leaves the house. She made a lot of points, but I am still reluctant to screw things up. I look at the clock at the same time I hear the knock on the door. After picking up Kaitlynn, I walk towards the door to let Reagan in. My breath hitch as the door swings open to reveal the love of my life. Sappy much Amy, reel it in, get it together!

"W-w-wow you look g-great Rea," I stammer out. So fucking pretty.

"So do you, Shrimps," she flashes her beautiful smile at me. "And who is this little cutie?" she then coos at the little girl in my arms.

"This is Kaitlynn, Katie for short. Can you say hi baby girl?" I say to her which earned me a giggle and a little head hiding in my shoulder.

"She's beautiful. So you guys ready to hit it?"

"Yeah, just let me get her bag and my purse, and we're all set." I made quick work of grabbing everything I needed. We decided to take my car, seeing how Katie's carseat is in there. Within a few moments, we were ready to go and heading out the door. The drive over was a silent one, except for the gibbered conversation of my munchkin in the backseat. We get to the zoo a little after noon, and thankfully the lines weren't long and it seemed to be a slow day. Once we are out of the car, I strap Katie in her stroller and pay our way in. We spent the day venturing every nook and cranny of the zoo, seeing lions, tigers, and bears oh my. Today was a carefree day with the two loves of my lives. Reagan looked to be having a blast, while I just took in this moment and thought of what could've been. This could've been us, now or years from now. Married, kids, family outings, and just being happy. But I couldn't allow myself to dwell for too long on a fantasy when right now reality was pretty great.

"So, how did you like today? I say heading towards the exit with a now sleeping child.

"Today was definitely fun, we have to do this again. I love this little ball of sunshine already, even if she is Karma's," she chuckles which makes me snicker a little.

"Hey! Karma's matured a little since Kaitlynn came along. It was a crazy time for us all, seeing how we were in school and her parents were retired, and everything just got out of control for awhile. Unfortunately, Liam's parents passed in a plane crash which made him and his sister co-owners of the family business. He dropped out of Art School and took an active roll in the company. He's a good provider for Katie, he makes sure to spend time with her, and now he and Karma are engaged. It took some doing, but we've all changed since high school. Some good and some not too bad," I inform her.

"Didn't know that. Sorry to hear about Liam's parents and how rough things were, but I'm glad everyone's okay and doing well," she sports a genuine smile.

"Yeah everyone's really happy these days," I say while now strapping Katie back into her car seat. After about two hours in the park, she is really wiped out.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Amy, are you happy?" I think about her question and my mind goes back to the conversation I had with Lauren, just this morning. I don't know am I?