Chapter 18 – Leave it to Me

Hermione felt sick. Her head was bent low and she stared at her feet as Lupin explained the lesson to the class.

"…alright now who would like to go first?"

Hermione sighed and looked up reluctantly, she should at least pay attention to Lupin, he had been so nice to her after all.

Unfortunately for her the instant she had looked up she met Remus's gaze and he smiled at her.

"John, come up here," Remus gestured for her to walk towards the front of the room.

Hermione bit her lip before walking over to him. She wished that she had been listening because she honestly didn't know what Lupin wanted.

"Well are you ready?" he questioned looking down at her expectantly.

She blinked stupidly back at him.

"Uh – sorry I…" Hermione trailed off racking her brain to recall what the lesson was on. She gulped when she saw Remus frown at her.

Hermione felt something crumple inside her.

'I don't belong here,' Hermione thought to herself letting her head drop to the floor and away from Remus's disappointed expression.

"Nothing to worry about," Remus said patting her on the back, and Hermione realized that he thought she was scared.

"Could I have a go Remus?"

"I don't think so Harry," Remus said in disapproval and Hermione wondered what the expression on Lupin's face could mean.

Hermione heard Remus sigh before walking away from her.

"Neville, how about you?"

Hermione shifted away from the front of the class and tried her best to fade into the woodwork. It was difficult when she felt Ron's eyes on her.

She felt herself physically shaking as she heard his heavy footfalls on the wooden floor. She clenched her eyes closed.

She heard him stop directly in front of her. She opened her eyes but they remained glued on the small space between their feet.

"Hermione…"

Hermione started when Ron called her real name in such a tender voice, it almost made her want to look up into his face, but she was a coward and her eyes remained on the floor.

"Have you talked to Hermione today?" Ron questioned her, his voice harder now.

'Of course, idiot. He doesn't know who you really are. What would he say if he did? Probably disgusted that I've been lying to him this entire time.'

Hermione shook her head leaning further back into the wall.

And that was it.

The next instant he was gone. She finally lifted her eyes and watched Ron as he walked over to Harry, she wished she hadn't.

Harry was glaring at her.

Ginny was worried.

She had not seen Hermione the entire day, not since her friend had overheard Lavender's ridiculous stories. Ginny gripped the handle of her bag angrily.

Ginny sighed heavily and pushed the door to her dorm room open. She instantly froze.

There was someone in her room. Ginny quickly closed and locked the door before rushing over towards the sound.

"Oh Hermione," Ginny said soothingly crouching down beside her bed where she found her friend in a ball on the floor.

Hermione didn't say a word she simply hugged her legs to her chest and continued crying.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" Ginny said sitting down on the floor beside Hermione and slowly stroked her hair.

After a few moments Hermione finally spoke.

"It's – all – messed – up," Hermione said through gasps before burying her head in her hands, her bushy hair cascading over her face.

Ginny felt the pain run through her.

"This can't be about Lavender," Ginny said in a voice that she hoped wouldn't send her friend into hysterics.

She saw Hermione shaking her head.

Ginny sighed but simply sat beside her friend.

After a few moments silence Ginny furrowed her brow.

"Why are you wearing a boy's uniform?"

Ron didn't know how long he had been standing there. It felt like hours and at the same time only a few seconds.

"She's gone," Ron said to himself as he looked at Hermione's bare bed and empty cupboards. The books in his hand fell to the floor loudly.

Finally, Ron sunk to his knees. He sat there just staring at her empty desk watching as the rays from the setting sun moved across the table.

"She's gone..."

"You've been…" Ginny said slowly looking at her friend in concern, "You've been attending Hogwarts Boys…as a boy?"

Hermione wiped the tears from her face and nodded her head.

"And you've been sleeping with my brother?" Ginny tried to keep the disbelief from her voice.

"Not sleeping with, just in the same room," Hermione's hoarse voice corrected her.

Ginny bit her lip deep in thought.

"Okay, say I believe you. Why then are you so upset by what Lavender said?"

"Didn't you hear her?" Hermione looked at her disbelief, "I saw her all over your brother, he –"

"I don't care what you saw," Ginny felt anger course through her, "My brother would never do that. He would never touch let alone sleep with that pathetic air-head. And I won't have you sit here saying another bad word about him."

Ginny was breathing hard now. She saw Hermione cringe away from her from where they sat on the bed.

"I didn't think he actually slept with her," Hermione eyes dropped down to the bed, "But maybe he k-kissed her."

"And then what? He went down to the lake and tried to kiss you too?!" Ginny grabbed Hermione shoulders, she wanted to physically shake her friend but stopped herself, "You can't possibly believe that."

Ginny released Hermione's shoulders when she saw her friends already red eyes brimming with tears again.

"I-it never made sense," Hermione took a few deep breaths as the tears fell down her cheeks.

"That he would kiss Lavender? Well yeah obviously," Ginny replied.

"No," Hermione looked directly at Ginny as she spoke, "It never made sense that he would like me."

Harry found Ron sitting at one of the tables in the common room. He walked over and sat down opposite him. Ron was sitting staring out the window, his head leaning on his hand while his other hand idly poked the chess pieces on the table. Despite the loud protests from the chess pieces Ron didn't seem to hear them.

"Up for a game?" Harry said trying to make his voice as bright as possible.

Ron didn't show any sign that he had even heard Harry.

"Ron?" Harry tried again but still no reaction.

Harry sat at the table for a few moments longer watching the sad expression on his best friends face before he stormed up to his room.

"That's it!" Harry said opening his chest of clothes, "I am going to deal with you myself."

Harry slammed the lid of the chest close and ran out of his dorm room. He passed one last look at Ron before exiting the Gryffindor Tower.

Hermione saw Ginny gape at her.

A long silence had elapsed since Hermione had admitted her deepest secret. It was the truth, something she had been trying to hide away in that dark space in her mind.

She didn't deserve to be loved.

She wasn't pretty like Lavender, funny like Ginny, or friendly like the Patil twins. She was just plain little Hermione, boring and annoying.

'Mudblood.'

'Filth.'

'Weak.'

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to push away all the hurtful words she heard almost everyday at Hogwarts. She knew she should let it bother her – but she was tired, so incredibly tired of counting the days, the hours, the minutes until she could leave this place.

That was her life for what felt the longest time. And then Ron appeared. Her funny, kind and protective Ron. When she was with him she didn't even have to try being happy, she just was. She didn't think she could stand it to see him fall in love with someone else.

"Are you just going to run away?"

Hermione opened her eyes and looked at Ginny.

Ginny nodded to the bags beside the bed.

"You're not even going to say goodbye?"

Hermione felt the guilt bite at her insides.

'Weak. Pathetic. Coward. It's all true,' Hermione sighed looking away from Ginny's piercing gaze.

"How did you change into a boy?" Ginny asked suddenly jumping off the bed.

"I had to take a potion," Hermione explained yawning.

She hadn't realized how tired she felt until now.

"Where?" Ginny questioned walking towards her bags.

"There," Hermione pointed at the black bag that Snape had given her.

"Why don't you have a bath and get some sleep, I guarantee it'll be better tomorrow," Ginny said walking over to her.

"Alright," Hermione said reluctantly getting off the bed and walking towards the door.

"Uh, Hermione."

Hermione turned around to look at Ginny.

"You might want to change your clothes first."

Hermione looked down and realized she was still wearing the boy's uniform.

"Oh right," Hermione said before rushing over and changing into her girl's uniform.

Just before she left the room she looked back at Ginny.

"Thanks for listening," she said to her friend and she saw Ginny smile back at her.

"This is ridiculous," Harry said in irritation.

He turned the Marauders map over and over. He had been standing outside the Gryffindor tower for hours now trying to find the little dot that would tell him where John was.

"Where the bloody hell," Harry grumbled looking the map over again.

"Harry?!"

Harry quickly folded the map and returned it to his pocket when he heard someone calling him. His eyes narrowed when he saw who it was.

"Hello John," He tried to inject as much venom into those two words as he could.

John looked surprised at his tone.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why would a Gryffindor be standing outside the Gryffindor common room? Gee let me think."

"Okay, okay, no need to get so touchy," John rolled his eyes at him, "I'm looking for Ron."

"You have some nerve," Harry said before he could stop himself.

"Excuse me?"

"No one treats my best friend like that and gets away with it," Harry seethed taking a step towards John.

To his surprise John smiled at him.

Harry ground his teeth before grabbing John's shirt and pushing him against the wall.

"Get that stupid smirk off your face!"

"Ow! Bloody hell Potter," John said in annoyance rubbing the back of his head.

"Wh-what did you just – " Harry sputtered before taking a step away from John.

John had never called him 'Potter' before. But that wasn't what was causing the blood to drain from his face.

Harry stared at the now red haired and disturbingly effeminate looking John.

"Huh?" John stepped away from the wall and looked down at himself, "Darn, I should have asked her how much to take."

Harry would recognize that voice anywhere.

"G-Ginny?!"

He stared wide eyed at the girl now standing in front of him.

They both turned when they heard the portrait of the fat lady swing open.

A/N: Told you wouldn't have to wait long :) Hope you're enjoying the story! (hides from screams of outrage) Sorry it's another cliff hanger.

(secretly laughs evilly)