I was sitting on the kitchen floor, leaned against the cabinets crying when Brooke walked back in.

"Ohh, honey," she said, rushing over to sit beside me and gave me a hug.

"I just can't believe he wouldn't know how this would make me feel," I said through my tears.

"I know, guys are kind of clueless sometimes -- they think that if you don't speak up, then its okay...that you wouldn't do it if you didn't feel right about it," Brooke reasoned.

I pulled away from crying on her shoulder. "...are you defending him?"

"Of course not, have you ever seen me defend Nathan Scott?" Brooke scoffed. "I'm just saying that maybe he isn't lying about truly not realizing that it would hurt you -- guys think so differently than us -- he probably figured that you would just refuse to be with him if it hurt you...that's the way guys are- they just won't do something if it doesn't match what they want...."

"It doesn't make it alright," I said.

"No....but...don't get mad at me for this -- you can't just blame him though...you did agree to go over there every time, no one forced you into it...and you knew the outcome each time because it was always the same. You have to take some responsibility too," Brooke explained.

I was silently agreeing, knowing that I couldn't take the easy way out and put the sole blame on Nathan - after all, I had allowed my weakness for him to take me over there every time he called.

"Well...I finally put my foot down this time," I said.

"You did and I'm proud of you...I'm sure you gave him a lot to think about," Brooke replied.

"Nah, not really -- he knows what he wants...he wants freedom...that won't change - whether I'm there to hook up with him or not."

"Maybe...but maybe not-- this will be interesting to see -- now that you are refusing him...you can truly see where you stand with him. If he just gives up all contact, then you can pretty much bet it was just physical and he can get it somewhere else-- but if there is truly more there for him, he'll try to see you or talk to you."

"I don't know considering I pretty much told him to get lost," I replied.

Brooke shook her head, "...when a guy truly knows what he wants, he'll still pursue- especially now that he knows how you still feel."

I sighed in wonder and awe that the situation had managed to become even more complicated than before.

We sat there in the kitchen a few minutes longer, in silence when the doorbell rang again.

We both looked at each other with surprise.

I took a deep breath, standing up and walking to the front door.

I pulled it open to find Nathan standing there.

"I know you told me to leave...but can I come in? I really think we should talk," he asked quietly.

Without a word, I opened the door further to allow him inside.

Nathan stepped further into the living room as Brooke was coming around the corner with her jacket.

"Where are you going??" I asked quickly.

"I have to head home, I have an early meeting tomorrow," she explained, gathering her purse and keys. She eyed Nathan cautiously.

"Don't start Brooke, please," Nathan said, clearly remembering the old Brooke.

"Just don't make this any worse," Brooke said to him through gritted teeth as she affectionately patted Haley's arm and walked out the door.

Nathan and I stood there in silence for a minute that felt like an eternity.

Nathan sat down on the couch as I sat in the armchair.

"I came back because there's too much history here to just walk away without talking this through," Nathan said.

I was quiet, waiting for him to continue.

"I did break up with you because I wanted to be single again -- I missed that life and that independence...but I still wanted you to be there, to be in my life...I know that sounds selfish but its true. You are so important to me, you really are..."

"Nathan, you can't have it both ways. I can't just be your friend -- your buddy to pal around with or hook up with no strings attached while you go out with other women...it doesn't work that way for me - I just can't do it--"

"---I know that now and I'm sorry...I do know that its not fair to you and you deserve better than that. I love you - I will probably always love you...but I'm not what you want me to be...at least not right now."

"What does that mean?" I asked quickly.

"It means that I don't know much...I don't know what I want half the time...but I do know that I'm not ready for what you need -- someone who is ready to settle down...and I need to be honest about that...I owe that to you at the very least," Nathan said.

I nodded, just listening to what he was saying -- the huge reality check slapping me in the face. Every hope I had had for the two of us was knocked from my mind at that moment.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked him.

"I don't know -- I think that's going to be up to you...you know where I stand - so if you don't want to see me or talk to me, its going to hurt like hell but I'll have to do it to respect your feelings and still be true to myself. That's all I can really do at this point," Nathan said.

I nodded in understanding, quiet for a moment.

"Just - let me think about some things, okay?" I asked him.

Nathan stood up. "Sure, absolutely...."

He stood over me for a second and I bit my lower lip to keep from bursting into tears.

"I'm sorry Hales," he whispered.

I just shook my head, looking at the ground, afraid to speak - afraid that he would hear tears in my voice. He walked to the front door, turning around to take a last look and then left.

I put my head in my hands and cried the hardest I have in a very long time.