I walked back into the club, thankful for the dim lighting to hide my tear stained cheeks.

I walked right past the table that Brooke, Peyton and Tara had gotten near the corner.

"Hey, Haley!" I heard Brooke call after me, but I continued to walk back to the restroom.

I went in and stood over the sink.

I grabbed some tissues and tried to salvage what was left of my makeup.

Brooke and Peyton walked in behind me.

"What's the matter? What's going on?" Peyton asked.

I just shook my head.

Meanwhile, Nathan had made his way back into the club and walked over to Tim.

"Hey, dawg! What's the 411? I thought you bailed on me," Tim said half laughing, holding a beer out for Nathan.

Nathan just shook his head, clearly still dazed from the encounter and more importantly, that kiss, "Sorry, Haley and I needed to talk."

Tim noticed Nathan's dazed look and raised his eyebrows, taking a swig of his beer. "I am not asking-- but if you want to spill the gory details, I'm game."

Nathan rolled his eyes, taking a swig of his own beer.

~~~

"That bastard, what did he do to you?!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Please calm down," I replied, wiping my eyes.

"I'm serious -- what did he do this time?"

"It's not what he did, its what I did, alright?!" I exploded.

Brooke and Peyton looked at me, completely confused.

"He said some things, I blew up at him and then I kissed him." I looked down at the ground, completely ashamed of my actions.

Peyton shook her head in confusion and Brooke's eyes widened, "you did what?!"

~~~

"She did what, yo?!" Tim asked, a look of genuine surprise on his face.

Nathan nodded, avoiding eye contact with Tim. "Yeah- this whole thing just got even more complicated."

"It doesn't have to be -- " Tim countered. "I mean, you're a playa' - she's engaged...shake it off, let it be a mistake and that's it."

Nathan looked at Tim, "I guess that's the way everyone sees me, huh? Some raging womanizer?"

Tim shrugged, "well, I was half joking....your track record sort of speaks for itself...but hey man, I'm not judging -- I think its off the hook."

Nathan shook his head, "well I'm tired of people seeing me that way -- I'm different now. I've made a lot of mistakes but I'm working on turning things around."

Tim nodded, "I'm sorry man. I really was just busting your chops - I wasn't trying to insult you."

"I know," Nathan replied. "I just know how badly I hurt Haley and for what? A few parties and one night stands? It's all meaningless...."

"Well, like you said- turn things around for yourself," Tim replied. "Go out and meet a nice chick- "

"--I don't want to meet another girl," Nathan said, his eyes looking out over the expanse of the club. "I want Haley."

~

I wiped my eyes a final time to get any residual tears away from my eyes and cheeks. I touched up my makeup and took a final look in the mirror.

"Are you ready?" Peyton asked, handing my purse to me.

I nodded slowly.

I had to go back out there - I couldn't stay in the bathroom all night. I knew Nathan would still be out there and I didn't have a clue what to do or say next.

I walked out of the bathroom with Brooke and Peyton right behind me.

I was woozy from the alcohol and the crying - everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. I could see all the figures on the dance floor.

I glanced over to see Tim nudging Nathan who then turned to face me.

Our eyes met and we just watched each other.

I couldn't read any emotion or expression on his face.

I turned to look at Brooke and it was as if she could read my mind.

She shrugged, "this one is your call, completely."

I nodded - I had to face this.

I walked slowly toward Nathan and he continued to watch me walking toward him.

"Can we talk?" I asked as I approached.

Nathan merely nodded and ushered me to the side exit to get away from the noise.

We walked out on to the sidewalk, dimly lit by the overhead street lights.

We walked side by side in silence for a couple of minutes.

"I don't know what got into me," I said finally. "I completely blew up at you about things in the past, I really shouldn't have."

"You were just being honest about how you felt," Nathan replied.

I nodded, "yeah, but all of that is better left in the past."

We were silent for another minute while I figured out to bring up the rest of it.

"....and the kiss was completely out of line -- I can't believe that happened and I can assure you it won't happen again."

Nathan stopped, pulled my elbow and stood facing me, "are you sure about that?" he asked in a husky tone, that confident bravado of his out in full force.

I looked into his eyes and we were inches apart - I silently willed for my resolve not to be weakened once again.

"I can't -- I'm getting married....this isn't fair to Todd, he doesn't deserve any of this...."

Nathan just looked at me for a second, then looked at the ground, shoved his hands back in his pocket and began to walk forward again.

I closed my eyes, exhaling a deep breath.

"So what do we do now?" Nathan asked.

"There's nothing we can do -- I mean, things aren't any different than they were before."

Nathan stopped and looked at me, "things are very different for me." He took my arms in his hands, "look me in the eye and tell me that you love him and that you really want to marry him...."

I looked at the ground, silent for a moment. "Please, Nathan....don't."

"I'm serious -- this is something I have to know. If you say the word, that you want to be with him and we're completely finished- I'll walk away....but I have to hear you say it."

I looked back into his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"...because I need to know," Nathan replied, a very serious look on his face. "To be perfectly honest, those months that went by when we didn't see each other or even speak - I thought things were over and done....until I saw you again and it hit me -- I'm not over this....I'm not over wanting to be with you."

"Do you remember what you told me?" I asked him, bound to avoid his question, at least for the moment. "You told me that you weren't ready for what I needed.....and I can't see that you would be anymore ready now."

"How do you know that?" Nathan asked.

"I don't," I sighed. "....but I don't know that I can risk everything just for you to hurt me again."

Nathan backed down for a moment and stood silent.

"How can I prove to you that I've changed?"

"I don't know--I don't know if you can or if I want you to...." I knew that was a lie but I couldn't let him know everything. I had been divulging way too much information lately.

Nathan nodded slowly, looking into my eyes again. "...well, you know what I think and how I feel - so I guess the rest is going to be up to you....if you can trust me again, or if you even want to. I'm leaving town for a few days, but this isn't over....not until you say that its over."

I exhaled deeply, closing my eyes - this had been one hell of a night.