Author's note: I started a new fic for the Shadowhunter Chronicles, so I'm going to be alternating writing for these two. Things may slow down here a bit. I'm determined to finish this, though. And I even sat down and planned out the last chapters. It's going to start getting steamy!
I have listened to some concerns and cleared things up with Katniss and Gale. Let me know what you think.
Many thanks to my beta JavisTG! You have been so helpful and supportive!
Shoutout to my bestie writingbutunpublished for helping me pull in my wild thoughts that I get sometimes. ("Dani, I think you have enough drama. Slow your roll." Is a phrase I've heard a time or two. lol)
Happy reading, folks!
Chapter Twenty
It was snowing lightly as Katniss drove. She was anxious to see her girls, but she made sure to take care. Vick was loading a matching set of dollhouses into the back of his truck when Katniss pulled in behind him. Katniss could see the bikes he'd already put in.
"Spoiled again, huh?" She asked as she walked over and gave Vick a hand.
"Just wait 'til you see what your two got." He chuckled. He finished putting the dollhouse in and turned to look at her. "We missed you around here."
She nodded. "Yeah." She said nothing else as she helped him get the other dollhouse in.
As she was walking up to the house, Becca opened the door. "Mommy!" She screamed and threw herself at Katniss.
"Oh, Becca, I missed you so much." Katniss picked Becca up and carried her through the door. "You have to show me what all you got."
"So many things, Mama. But I could use a few more." She looked up expectantly. "Daddy said you talked to Santa and maybe he left some things at Aunt Prim's."
Katniss laughed and kissed her cheek. "There were a few things under Aunt Prim and Uncle Rory's tree. We'll just have to see." She sat Becca down and pulled Sam into a tight hug. "Hi, Sam-Sam."
"Hi, Mama." Sam sighed, wrapping her arms around Katniss's waist.
They were silent for several breaths before a hand fell on Katniss's shoulder. She looked over to see Hazelle holding out a package for her.
"You don't have to do that." Katniss said.
"Of course we do." Hazelle pressed it into her hands. "You're always going to be part of this family, Katniss."
"Thanks." Katniss swallowed the tears down.
Prim waved from across the room and pointed to a small pile of wrapped gifts.
"We didn't want to leave you out." Hazelle explained.
Katniss swallowed down her tears as she sat own and opened up all the presents with Sam and Becca pressed to her sides. Gale sat on the opposite side of the room. He looked anxious.
When all the gifts were finally opened, everyone started to disperse. Gale helped Sam and Becca load their things, bringing half of them to his truck and other to Katniss's SUV.
Posy sidled up to Katniss as she picked up her gifts. "How's it going?" Posy asked.
"Fine." Katniss said softly. "Why?"
"It's just…" Posy leaned in. "You were here at Thanksgiving and everything was fine."
"Everything is still fine, Posy." Katniss assured her.
Posy nodded. "Okay."
"Are you okay?" Katniss asked softly. Even though they were only related through her marriage to Gale, Posy had always been like a sister to Katniss.
"I'll call you in a few days." Posy said. "It's Christmas. I don't want to bring you down."
"If Dom's giving you a hard time, show him that video of me shooting three arrows at a target at once."
"He just claims he wants to be part of Jensen's life and I want him to…" Posy sighed. "I'll call you in a few days."
Katniss pulled Posy into a tight hug. "I'm here for you, Posy."
"Thanks, Katniss." Posy kissed Katniss's cheek and stepped away.
"Can I talk to you a minute?" Gale asked from behind Katniss.
With a nod, Katniss followed Gale out of the house toward his truck. She leaned against the side and stuffed her hands in her pockets.
Gale mirrored her pose. "How was Peeta's?"
"It was fun." She said, looking toward where the girls ran around hurling handfuls of snow at each other. "Except for missing them."
"Well, you have them for the next week, so I'll be able to feel your pain."
She bumped her shoulder against his. "We'll figure this out. All four of us." She looked up. "I had a lot of time to think and I…" She looked back down. "It's not fair to us or the girls to have to do things like this. There's not much room for talking about more serious things when our kids could run in. If they're not already within earshot."
"What are you saying, Katniss?"
"I'm not saying that a physical relationship should be okay. But I do want to be able to spend time with Peeta without a chaperone." She looked up. "And you deserve that with Madge. I know I was angry, but she's been waiting for you for five years. She should get to know the Gale I know."
"Thanks. I'm sorry I suggested it in the first place." He took his hand out of his pocket and held it out.
Katniss slipped her hand into Gale's and laughed. "You've never liked holding my hand."
"It feels weird." He squeezed her fingers and let go. "I love you, Catnip."
"I know, Gale. That's making this a lot easier than it could be." She looked up. "Did you want to talk about something?"
"Just that Madge's dad is in town for the holiday and she asked me to join them for lunch today so she could tell him." He worked the muscle in his jaw as he looked at her expectantly.
She nodded. "Good. I think it's important."
Sam sidled up to Katniss. She smiled up at her mother sweetly. And then smashed a handful of snow in Katniss's face.
Katniss let out a surprised squeak. Then she leaned over and scooped up a handful and dropped it on Sam's head. "You're rotten!"
"Come get me, Mama!" Becca called from across the yard.
Katniss laughed and scooped up more snow. She stalked slowly toward her younger daughter until she was just a few steps away and then she reached up her hand to throw. But she was stopped in her tracks by a glob of cold down her back.
Katniss turned to see Gale smiling down at her as he brushed extra snow off his hands. "Great hunter, but terrible paying attention to what's behind you." He quipped.
"That was one time." Katniss said with a chuckle.
Gale shrugged. "At least I got that deer that was trying to steal your lunch."
Katniss hurled herself at Gale and knocked him onto his back. In the same motion, she picked up and handful of snow and smashed it in his face. "You shut your mouth, Hawthorne. I got two more deer than you that season." She pushed herself up and laughed as Sam and Becca piled on him followed by the rest of the kids.
"Someone save me!" Gale called, still laughing.
Vick walked over and pulled his kids away, laughing. "Go give your grandparents a goodbye hug and then get in the car." He held out his hand to Gale. "You'd think they wouldn't still have this much energy, those little rascals."
Gale laughed. "If they are anything like mine, they are even more active when they're tired because they're fighting off the crash."
Katniss sent Sam and Becca in to say their goodbyes. Vick wandered away to wrangle his kids.
"I hope the mayor isn't as much of a hard-ass as I remember him being." Katniss said softly.
Gale laughed. "I never had much cause to interact with him before."
"Madge and I had a project together in middle school." Katniss recalled. "He was…stern." She laughed.
"Well, I guess I'll find out." He looked toward the house as their daughters came out.
"I'll make sure they call before bed." Katniss promised.
"Thanks." His voice sounded clipped.
She squeezed his arm. "They can come to work for the rest of their break." She offered. "Time for them to learn the family business anyway."
Gale gave a short laugh. "Yeah, it probably is."
Becca stopped in front of Gale and looked up. "I'll miss you, Daddy."
He picked her up and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I'll miss you, Becs." He kissed her again and then sat her down. "I love you." He held out his arms for Sam and she jumped up into them.
She cried softly into his neck. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, Sami." He murmured. "So much, baby."
"Can we call you tonight?" Sam sobbed.
"You can call me any time. I'll answer." He kissed her cheek and then sat her down. "You're going to come to work with Mom next week, okay? And you can hang out in my shop and help me as much as you want."
"Okay." Sam sniffed and then ran to the SUV.
Gale leaned down and pressed a kiss to Becca's forehead. "See you later, kiddo."
"Bye, Daddy." Becca slipped her hand into Katniss's as they headed toward her car.
Becca's eyes went huge when she saw the bikes sitting in front of the house with bows on them. Katniss sat them out before she left. With new locks to match, of course.
"Are those ours?" She asked in wonder, her face pressed to the window.
"Yeah, Santa left them out there." Katniss said with a grin. "There are a few things in the house, too. Most of them are from me, though." She put the SUV in park and watched as both girls clambered out of the car to examine the bikes.
Katniss followed at a much slower pace. Becca was loudly exclaiming over the smaller of the two bikes, even pointing out the bright pink training wheels that matched the color of the frame.
Sam was much quieter in her assessment of her new toy. It was black and poison green. The lock was the same green. Both had a bell and a light on the front.
"How do we get the locks off?" Becca asked.
"Maybe the combinations are in your stockings." Katniss suggested as she walked toward the door.
Becca quickly followed and jumped from one foot to the other as she waited for Katniss to fit the key into the lock. Katniss had almost forgotten to plug in the lights on the tree before she left. But they were blinking away as she opened the door and waved the girls in.
Sitting in the corner was a doll with a bow on it. Beside it was a skateboard.
"You didn't!" Sam exclaimed as she ran forward and picked up the skateboard, the same black and green as the bike.
Katniss gave a shrug.
Becca was busy gushing over the new baby. "Oh, she's so sweet! Look at her little face! Oh, Mama, isn't she so pretty?"
"She's beautiful." Katniss pointed at the stockings on the couch. They were pretty plain. Both had one full-size candy bar (each of the girl's favorites), small lotions and chap sticks, perfumes, nail polish, and, at the bottom, a little tag with a combination to each of their bike locks.
The rest of the presents were mostly practical things. Shirts and socks. Some accessories. They both got a couple more small toys, but she'd decided not to add too much to their collections with so much still in the air with their living situation.
"Can we go ride our bikes?" Becca asked as soon as the last present was opened.
Katniss laughed. "Sure. For a little while." She walked out with them, holding onto the tag that held the combination for Becca's lock.
Sam unlocked hers and then headed out onto the road.
"Be careful, Sam-Sam." Katniss called as she helped guide Becca's away from the front steps.
"Okay." Sam called as she rode to the stop sign. She turned around and headed toward the other intersection.
"Will you keep your hand on me?" Becca asked anxiously.
"Of course, Becca." Katniss kept her hand on the back of the seat as Becca pedaled.
The girls rode for nearly a half hour before their lack of sleep caught up to them. They parked their bikes, making sure to lock them back up.
Rory and Prim returned just as Katniss passed her girls each a cup of cocoa.
"Sweet bikes." Rory said as he walked in.
"Thanks." Becca said happily. And then she yawned.
Katniss pulled Becca close. "Drink your hot cocoa and then we'll take a nap."
"I'm not tired." Becca said around another yawn.
Prim chuckled. "You were up until three and then woke up at six for presents."
"It's the same every year." Katniss kissed Becca's temple. "Christmas is just too exciting to rest, huh?"
The cup in Becca's hand started drooping and Katniss swiped it up before it fell to the floor and made a mess. Prim took both Becca's and Katniss's cups from her sister. Katniss stood, scooping Becca up into her arms. She carried Becca down the hall to the third room that was set up with air mattresses for the girls.
Sam walked in and stretched out on the other bed as Katniss got Becca settled. "I just need a small nap, Mom." Sam said around a yawn.
"I'll make sure to wake you for supper after while." Katniss kissed them both. "Merry Christmas, girls. I love you so much."
She turned out the light.
Rory and Prim sat curled up together on the couch. Prim smiled encouragingly. "They sleeping?"
Katniss nodded. She started picking up the last of the wrapping paper.
Rory mumbled something about unloading the car and went outside.
Prim patted the cushion beside her. "Wanna talk?"
Katniss sat beside Prim. "I didn't sleep well last night. It's been a long time since I slept in an empty house."
"Well, we're all here now." Prim gave her a comforting look. "Not that I'm asking you to get out, but do you know anything about apartments or houses?"
"We're waiting for the house sale to be final." Katniss rested her head on her sister's shoulder. "I've seen a couple places that might work. There's even one a block over from here."
The door opened and Rory came in with his arms loaded down. "Don't mind me, just bringing stings through. La-la-la. Sister conversation is none of my business." He continued on down the hall.
Katniss chuckled. "Your husband is a nerd."
"Well, it's a Hawthorne trait. Your kids are just as bad."
"Not a horrible thing." Katniss sat back. "This all just feels so weird."
"What all?" Prim asked.
Rory came back through humming again.
Katniss waited until the door was closed behind him before she spoke. "I've never really been me, Prim. I took care of myself and you from so small because of Mom. And then they…" She swallowed. "When I turned eighteen, it was me and you and Gale. And then Sam came along and you moved out. And… It's almost always been someone else I had to consider. And last night, after I was back here, it was just me. I was so lost."
"You know, I bet Gale's going through it too. He'll understand it more than anyone else." Prim said. "But I do get it. And you can stay here until you're ready to move on. We have plenty of room. You don't have to be alone long-term until you feel comfortable."
"Thanks, Prim." Katniss hugged her. "But I do need to get out of your hair within the next month. I don't want to overstay my welcome."
Katniss's phone went off on the coffee table. She reached for it and felt a wave of comfort when she saw Peeta's name on the screen.
Peeta: Merry Christmas! When you get a chance, can we talk?
Katniss glanced at her sister before she typed her reply. How about I call you tonight?
Peeta: Sounds good.
Katniss sat her phone back on the coffee table with a sigh.
"What is it?" Prim asked.
Rory came back in, singing his off-key song again. Katniss noticed most of the things that he brought in were baby related.
"They always go all out long before the kids are even born." Katniss said, turning back to Prim. "They spoil them all so much."
Prim smiled and rubbed her stomach absently. "They do." She chewed her lip. "But I was wondering… Do you still have that cradle that Dad made?"
"Of course." Katniss patted Prim's knee. "It's in the closet in Becca's room. She plays with it sometimes. I'll have Gale bring it over when he comes to get the girls next week."
"Thanks. I'm so glad we've been able to keep it this long." Prim wrapped her arms around Katniss, pushing her into the opposite corner of the couch. "I wish Mom and Dad were still around. Hazelle and Bobby are great, but I wish I knew what kind of grandparents our parents would be."
Katniss kissed the top of Prim's head. "They would be all over spending time with their grandkids. Mom would bake with them and Dad would take them hunting and fishing. He'd carve them all sorts of little toys."
"I wish we still had the crib." Prim said sleepily.
Katniss smoothed her hand over Prim's hair. "I wish we did too. When I was pregnant with Sam, I tried to get it back. But the people that bought it lost it in a fire."
Prim sniffed. "I feel like I'm not going to be a good mom. Did you ever feel like that?"
"I still feel like that sometimes." Katniss admitted. "You just do your best. You'll have plenty of great people around to help out and give advice when you need it." She pushed Prim up and placed a finger under her chin. "And don't ever be afraid to ask for help, okay?"
"Which one of us is the stubborn one?" Prim asked with a smirk.
"You have plenty of it. The Abernathys and Everdeens have it in abundance. It comes from both sides. You just manage it better." Katniss tapped Prim's nose and stood. "I'll go in there and put something on for supper."
Becca and Sam were so exhausted that they went to sleep without much of a fight when Katniss told them it was time. She'd been texting a little with Peeta through evening. He promised to answer her call whenever she was ready, even though she said she could wait for the next day. But he insisted it was fine.
She settled into her bed. The TV in the living room played a Christmas movie softly. She could hear Rory commenting about the ridiculous storyline. He was bad about that.
Katniss pressed the button to call Peeta. He answered on the first ring. "Anxious to talk to me?" She asked with a chuckle.
"A little bit." His voice had that soft, sleepy quality and she felt bad keeping him awake.
"Well, I know it's late for you, so I won't keep you on here long." She curled onto her side. "Gale and I decided it wasn't necessary to have chaperones anymore. So we can hang out more easily."
"Is that so?" He perked up a little. "Does that mean I can ask you out to dinner?"
"Well, nothing resembling a date. The divorce still isn't final."
"I can cook for you." She could almost picture him sitting up in excitement. "At the bakery. I'll ask my dad if it's okay."
"Talk to your dad then. But I could have you here." She paused. That's way too sexual sounding. "I mean…"
Peeta laughed. "I guess you could. But, like you said, you're still married."
Katniss rubbed her eyes. "I'm really tired. I didn't sleep well last night."
"I'm sorry." He said softly. "Maybe tonight will be better."
"I hope so."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Something in his voice made her feel like she could just let it all go. And she did. All her fears about being alone came flooding out.
He was quiet and she was sure she'd bored him to sleep.
"Are you still there?" She asked.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm here. I was just thinking about how I've never been alone, either. And I never really put much focus into it. I couldn't have been alone until recently anyway." He paused. "You know, you're a strong woman, Katniss. You wouldn't have made it this far in life if you weren't."
"You think so?" She was able to let her guard down with him so easily. It was a little frightening.
"Yeah." He said. "It's something that's in your soul. I get these flashes of you in our other lives where it's very much the same."
"Not a lot of happiness in our pasts." She commented.
"Not really." He replied softly.
The TV shut off and she heard the conversation of the couple as they walked to the back of the house.
Prim said, "She's going through a divorce, babe. That's not an easy thing."
Rory replied, "And I get that, darlin'. It's just that we're expanding our family, it would be nice to start getting those rooms fixed up for the baby."
"There will be plenty of time for that." Prim argued just before the bedroom door closed and cut off her words.
Katniss sighed. "I should start looking for a new place to live sooner rather than later. Would you like to help me?"
Peeta chuckled. "Sure. If you'll return the favor. Maybe we can get places close to each other so visits will be easier."
"Maybe we can."
"Good. We'll discuss that more when we're both more awake."
"Yeah, you should try to get some sleep." She yawned. "Call me tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course." His voice sounded very eager.
They said their goodbyes. Katniss reached to turn out her lamp just as the door slowly opened. Becca's face peered around the frame. Katniss waved her in as she pulled the blanket back. Wordlessly, Becca climbed into the bed and snuggled close to Katniss, falling back asleep very quickly.